Why do converts hate their former faiths so passionately?

[Roy5]

A few illustrations

I have known a number of converts - both to and from Catholicism - and most do not 'hate' their former churches. However, a few are hostile. Here are what I have heard on different occasions.

 **1. One young man went to parochial school and a Catholic university, but then fell in love with a liberal Protestant and she had a very tolerant attitude toward most other faiths.** The more they talked, the more he realized that he had never been exposed to a very flexible form of Christianity, where you could interpret the faith without having to accept everything the church or preacher said. It was as though he had become free, and after they married (outside the church) they became active in her church.

 **2. Another Protestant I know said that she had simply become bored with Mass, that it seemed to be a routine ritual with little life.** She visited the evangelical church of a friend where she witnessed enormous enthusiasm, plus a vital youth program for her

young son and daughter, and she began to attend. She is not anti-Catholic at all, and sometimes attends Mass when visiting family members over a weekend, but she likes her new church.

** 3. A third person, a close friend, had a run-in with a dictatorial priest when he was a young adult.** Among other things, he confessed a sexual sin that caused the priest to scold him severely, and my friend was hurt and annoyed. Add to that, he thought the priest likely was gay. Anyway, he tried to continue in the church, and even tried another Catholic parish, but finally lost interest, was married, and he and his wife don’t bother to attend any church.

** 4. A friend who left Protestantism to become Catholic did so for his wife who was more religious than he, plus strong pressure from her devout Irish-American family. **He got involved in the Knights of Columbus and that has helped. He has confided in me that he doesn’t believe many things taught by Catholicism but for the sake of family unity he made the switch. He believes that God doesn’t really care about our church connection as long as we believe in him and make every effort to be a kind and giving person. He does praise his local priest and parish for the good work they do for the poor and other worthy efforts.

** 5. The only one I know who hates Catholicism has never explained to me precisely why**. He was raised as a Catholic, with an aunt who became a nun, and he went to parochial school etc. I sense that he rebelled against the Church when he went off to college and minored in philosophy. The college was top-notch but very secular, where any religion that requires total belief was put down. Anyway, he doesn’t want to talk about it! When I have raised Catholicism with him he becomes annoyed, so the subject is avoided. He and his family attend a Unitarian Church which he claims is the church I should join. It permits true freedom of religion is his mantra. Think more-or-less as you like and respect the wisdom of all faiths, casting aside narrow doctrine that “cramps the mind”.

** 6. One final example.** A couple I know that was active in a Catholic church apparently went to Mass regularly. One Easter-time they both went to confession and said they were using artificial birth control because they already had three children and that was the size of family they wanted and could afford. The priest told them not to worry, but follow their conscience. Then they moved to another state and a different church. When they confessed this to their new priest he asked if they would stop. They replied politely why they had made the decision. He said they were bad Catholics, threatened them with hell and such. They were so offended that they stopped going to Mass (it was the only Catholic church in town) and gradually drifted to a Presbyterian church after being invited by Presbyterian neighbors.
**God bless everybody. ** Matt. 7:1-2; Matt. 25:31ff.

 

[Jack_Bauer]

“Hate” is a strong term and may be true for some, but I believe that the majority simply “prefer” the newly discovered religion. Those few who actually do have “hate” do so, I believe, because of pride. The new convert believes he/she has been brought into THE truth (knowledge of which Church is God’s Church) and believes that any other Church that makes this claim is lying. They take it upon themselves to single-handedly discredit the opposition in the name of holiness and for the glory of God (though, inwardly they themselves enjoy being the tool used by God to attack their former Church). They see themselves as having the “inside scoop” of the former religion and enjoy the attention of being the ones that can inform their new Church of all the dirty secrets (even those that aren’t true). It gives them a certain authority on the subject and they enjoy being in that position. It’s really a sad thing.

Hog wash! I was one of the ones that left the Church, not out of pride. It was for reasons believing I found the right true church. Long story to be told another day.

Addressing the pride in being the inside scoop. Nothing’s changed with me before during and after. I defended the Church from false accusations. I believed in bible only since I was raised that way. My reasons for hating the Catholic Church was rooted in the same hate for Baptists, Pentecostals, Mormons, etc. It was a believe that only “True Christians can be saved” and that they were all part of the Devil’s sinkholes established to fool man. I believed that if many truly sought truth they would realized that the false churches that they participated in would lead them to hell. Not all those that leave do so because they want a happy go life. My faith was much more strict than Catholic teaching. It was a realization after decades of study that I realized the fallibility of my beliefs. My studies led me back to the Church.

I’m sure that in part some of what you’ve said is true, though. I’m probably just an anomaly or simply said, a crazy old fool.

 

[fred_conty]

@ JustaServant

“When you’re seven years old and you run away from home, it’s a lot of fun at 12 noon. But by 6pm it’s not fun anymore, you want to return home.”

I like that description, how true. So instead of revert catholics we have 6PM catholics.

 

[Jack_Bauer]

@ JustaServant

“When you’re seven years old and you run away from home, it’s a lot of fun at 12 noon. But by 6pm it’s not fun anymore, you want to return home.”

I like that description, how true. So instead of revert catholics we have 6PM catholics.

 

[Dymphna82]

The church has lots of rules and humans are often uncomfortable with rules. To top that off, we have an entire culture that treats hatred towards the church like it’s a cool thing. Not believing in God is considered a sign of intelligence.

Which is funny because if someone believes in many gods, those who are anti-Catholic support them.

But again, rules are a huge issue. I like rules and structure because I know how i am without it.

I feel anger towards my former faith as well, but more anger that I allowed Satan to pull me away so easily and got so involved in bad things. And there is this sadness in knowing that most people I knew in my old faith would likely not respect that I’m Catholic now, so trying to convert them seems like it’d be fruitless.

 

[Dymphna82]

@ JustaServant

“When you’re seven years old and you run away from home, it’s a lot of fun at 12 noon. But by 6pm it’s not fun anymore, you want to return home.”

I like that description, how true. So instead of revert catholics we have 6PM catholics.

Here’s to never leaving the house again! I am soo grounded!

 

[CopticChristian]

A few illustrations

I have known a number of converts - both to and from Catholicism - and most do not 'hate' their former churches. However, a few are hostile. Here are what I have heard on different occasions.

 **1. One young man went to parochial school and a Catholic university, but then fell in love with a liberal Protestant and she had a very tolerant attitude toward most other faiths.** The more they talked, the more he realized that he had never been exposed to a very flexible form of Christianity, where you could interpret the faith without having to accept everything the church or preacher said. It was as though he had become free, and after they married (outside the church) they became active in her church.

 **2. Another Protestant I know said that she had simply become bored with Mass, that it seemed to be a routine ritual with little life.** She visited the evangelical church of a friend where she witnessed enormous enthusiasm, plus a vital youth program for her

young son and daughter, and she began to attend. She is not anti-Catholic at all, and sometimes attends Mass when visiting family members over a weekend, but she likes her new church.

** 3. A third person, a close friend, had a run-in with a dictatorial priest when he was a young adult.** Among other things, he confessed a sexual sin that caused the priest to scold him severely, and my friend was hurt and annoyed. Add to that, he thought the priest likely was gay. Anyway, he tried to continue in the church, and even tried another Catholic parish, but finally lost interest, was married, and he and his wife don’t bother to attend any church.

** 4. A friend who left Protestantism to become Catholic did so for his wife who was more religious than he, plus strong pressure from her devout Irish-American family. **He got involved in the Knights of Columbus and that has helped. He has confided in me that he doesn’t believe many things taught by Catholicism but for the sake of family unity he made the switch. He believes that God doesn’t really care about our church connection as long as we believe in him and make every effort to be a kind and giving person. He does praise his local priest and parish for the good work they do for the poor and other worthy efforts.

** 5. The only one I know who hates Catholicism has never explained to me precisely why**. He was raised as a Catholic, with an aunt who became a nun, and he went to parochial school etc. I sense that he rebelled against the Church when he went off to college and minored in philosophy. The college was top-notch but very secular, where any religion that requires total belief was put down. Anyway, he doesn’t want to talk about it! When I have raised Catholicism with him he becomes annoyed, so the subject is avoided. He and his family attend a Unitarian Church which he claims is the church I should join. It permits true freedom of religion is his mantra. Think more-or-less as you like and respect the wisdom of all faiths, casting aside narrow doctrine that “cramps the mind”.

** 6. One final example.** A couple I know that was active in a Catholic church apparently went to Mass regularly. One Easter-time they both went to confession and said they were using artificial birth control because they already had three children and that was the size of family they wanted and could afford. The priest told them not to worry, but follow their conscience. Then they moved to another state and a different church. When they confessed this to their new priest he asked if they would stop. They replied politely why they had made the decision. He said they were bad Catholics, threatened them with hell and such. They were so offended that they stopped going to Mass (it was the only Catholic church in town) and gradually drifted to a Presbyterian church after being invited by Presbyterian neighbors.

 **God bless everybody. ** Matt. 7:1-2; Matt. 25:31ff.

You are a font of experiental knowledge and acquaintances that fit your liberal paradigm. Perhaps I should rethink my crusted old fuddy duddy staunch Catholic position. I can think for myself and entertain any idea and still find joy. I can resist what the Church teaches and become evangelical or Presbyterian, no confession…no rules…Free at last, free at last, free at last…

Nah…think I’ll just stay put.

 

[VeritasLuxMea]

I am sorry,but I do not buy the bolded sentence. I am wondering,those who claim such a position,do they also feel the same about their child’s education? Was it being forced upon him/her? Did Mary force Judaism on Jesus? The above to me is a cop-out and basically is saying: Since I do not have strong convictions about my faith,then I’ll let my kids choose his/her own faith.

As Director of Catechetical Ministry,I hear it all the time by many parents. Relativism at its best!

In one sense, I agree. At the same time, you have no idea how much pain, loneliness and depression this has caused me. No… idea.

 

[JustaServant]

@ JustaServant

“When you’re seven years old and you run away from home, it’s a lot of fun at 12 noon. But by 6pm it’s not fun anymore, you want to return home.”

I like that description, how true. So instead of revert catholics we have 6PM catholics.

Interestingly that quote came, not from a Catholic, but from a Charismatic Episcopal priest.
When I was still deeply entrenched in anti-Catholic fundamentalism I heard him say that on a christian radio station in my car. He was doing a series on the Sacraments, which I of course totally disagreed with.
Something inside me was rocked by that statement.
Return home?
To the Catholic Church?
NEVER!! Insanity!!
I was a born-again, saved, fundamentalist Christian.
I would NEVER go back to the Great Harlot.
I renounced my Catholicism and discarded the ‘baby sprinkling’ I received.
Nevertheless, I could not get that statement out of my head, no matter how hard I tried.
Years later, as the gentle pull to return to the Church was greatest, I purchased some tapes of his and listened to them, curiously enough in my car.
Once again I heard those words I heard so many years before:
“When you’re seven years old and you run away from home, it’s a lot of fun at 12 noon. But by 6pm it’s not fun anymore, you want to return home.”
I pulled over and began to weep like a baby.
I missed home.
I realized that the Catholic Church is not the evil institution responsible for every evil imaginable. She is not a ‘harlot’. but she is instead the most beautiful Lady Christ purchased.
Perfect love casts out hate and fear.
If your “religion” is hate, it is not a true religion.

 

[Jack_Bauer]

I am sorry,but I do not buy the bolded sentence. I am wondering,those who claim such a position,do they also feel the same about their child’s education? Was it being forced upon him/her? Did Mary force Judaism on Jesus? The above to me is a cop-out and basically is saying: Since I do not have strong convictions about my faith,then I’ll let my kids choose his/her own faith.

As Director of Catechetical Ministry,I hear it all the time by many parents. Relativism at its best!

What you are failing to realize is the plausibility that most Catholics do not know their faith and that when they try to keep their children Catholic they merely don’t have answers that make sense to their children. I’ve encountered this myself. However, my faith, though forced upon me later in life, became an integral part of my life. I learned the hard way not to trust clergy or especially Catholics in general with my faith because they had led me astray the furthest initially. I knew not to listen to most evangelicals, but when I came across one group that claims to be the real church and has very similar teaching, I thought it was the correct church that Christ founded and that the Catholic Church was a lie, because of my personal experiences. Initially, it never dawned on me that bishops and priest would also be confused and lack a better knowledge how best to teach mixed up Christians.

It sounds like you need a “come to Jesus meeting” as we used to say. But, I do know what you mean. However, I doubt very seriously that you would say this to this persons face, which begs the question “why would you say it now?” I would say to you what I am saying now. Army has calloused me somewhat and I no longer fear rejections from anyone because I know what I know and learned it the hard way.

 

[Jack_Bauer]

I certainly relate to your journey.

Interestingly that quote came, not from a Catholic, but from a Charismatic Episcopal priest.
When I was still deeply entrenched in anti-Catholic fundamentalism I heard him say that on a christian radio station in my car. He was doing a series on the Sacraments, which I of course totally disagreed with.
Something inside me was rocked by that statement.
Return home?
To the Catholic Church?
NEVER!! Insanity!!
I was a born-again, saved, fundamentalist Christian.
I would NEVER go back to the Great Harlot.
I renounced my Catholicism and discarded the ‘baby sprinkling’ I received.
Nevertheless, I could not get that statement out of my head, no matter how hard I tried.
Years later, as the gentle pull to return to the Church was greatest, I purchased some tapes of his and listened to them, curiously enough in my car.
Once again I heard those words I heard so many years before:
“When you’re seven years old and you run away from home, it’s a lot of fun at 12 noon. But by 6pm it’s not fun anymore, you want to return home.”
I pulled over and began to weep like a baby.
I missed home.
I realized that the Catholic Church is not the evil institution responsible for every evil imaginable. She is not a ‘harlot’. but she is instead the most beautiful Lady Christ purchased.
Perfect love casts out hate and fear.
If your “religion” is hate, it is not a true religion.

 

[Crdl2Grv]

In one sense, I agree. At the same time, you have no idea how much pain, loneliness and depression this has caused me. No… idea.

It sounds like you have a (completely legitimate) issue with your family, not necessarily with Catholicism. And if the title of this thread were “Why do people get so upset with their family?” it would hit 1000 posts in under an hour.

 

[CompSciGuy]

The feeling that your parents/family lied to you and/or didn’t let you choose your faith but instead forced it upon you.

The INSANE amount of pressure that is brought to bear to bring you back into the fold. E.G., “come back to the old faith or we will disown you”, etc.

Those two off the top of my head.

I don’t know if this is accurate… A lie is a deliberate misinformation. Most parents aren’t going to rear their children in a faith that they know is false.

I am a convert and I do not hate my former faith. I still like to hang out with Evangelicals. My dad still thinks I’m an apostate and wants me to come back to reformed Christianity. I don’t mind, I still love him. I don’t particularly like going to those churches anymore and listening to the pastors, because, frankly, at least in my area, a lot of them seem really full of themselves and act like they are infallible. And when I get in a conversation with a lot of these pastors, they often want to save me from the “evils of religion” and get me into a relationship with Jesus (as if I don’t already have one). But even so some of the strongest Christians I have ever met come from these reformed evangelical circles.

 

[CompSciGuy]

I don’t know if this is accurate… A lie is a deliberate misinformation. Most parents aren’t going to rear their children in a faith that they know is false.

I am a convert and I do not hate my former faith. I still like to hang out with Evangelicals. My dad still thinks I’m an apostate and wants me to come back to reformed Christianity. I don’t mind, I still love him. I don’t particularly like going to those churches anymore and listening to the pastors, because, frankly, at least in my area, a lot of them seem really full of themselves and act like they are infallible. And when I get in a conversation with a lot of these pastors, they often want to save me from the “evils of religion” and get me into a relationship with Jesus (as if I don’t already have one). But even so some of the strongest Christians I have ever met come from these reformed evangelical circles.

I’m sorry, I just realized too late that this thread is about ex-Catholics, not converts to the Catholic faith.

 

[Marybeloved]

I’m sorry, I just realized too late that this thread is about ex-Catholics, not converts to the Catholic faith.

Actually, it’s about converts from any particular faith to another, my comment about Catholicism was just an example. So your first post was perfectly in order .

 

[Nicea325]

What you are failing to realize is the plausibility that most Catholics do not know their faith and that when they try to keep their children Catholic they merely don’t have answers that make sense to their children. I’ve encountered this myself. However, my faith, though forced upon me later in life, became an integral part of my life. I learned the hard way not to trust clergy or especially Catholics in general with my faith because they had led me astray the furthest initially. I knew not to listen to most evangelicals, but when I came across one group that claims to be the real church and has very similar teaching, I thought it was the correct church that Christ founded and that the Catholic Church was a lie, because of my personal experiences. Initially, it never dawned on me that bishops and priest would also be confused and lack a better knowledge how best to teach mixed up Christians.

It sounds like you need a “come to Jesus meeting” as we used to say. But, I do know what you mean. However, I doubt very seriously that you would say this to this persons face, which begs the question “why would you say it now?” I would say to you what I am saying now. Army has calloused me somewhat and I no longer fear rejections from anyone because I know what I know and learned it the hard way.

No I do not say to a person’s face,not in those exact words,but I do re-word it so they can reflect upon their face. Are you currently in the Army? I am a vet…U.S. Air Force 1992-2002.

 

[Nicea325]

In one sense, I agree. At the same time, you have no idea how much pain, loneliness and depression this has caused me. No… idea.

And you are absolutely right, I have no idea how much pain it has caused you. By all means,I did not mean to be rude or insensitive,so I apologize. I’ll pray for you.

 

[Tony888]

Actually, it’s about converts from any particular faith to another, my comment about Catholicism was just an example. So your first post was perfectly in order .

I’ve seen it across the board. Go to CARM and you will see how nasty ex-catholics can be to the RCC. On this forum we tend to see the ex protestants and LDS with big chips on their shoulders.

But this is not true with all converts. I think the size of the chip depends largely on their level of maturity. The really negative ones I equate to a teenager who is rebelling against their parents, and everything they stand for. The more mature see both the good and bad in their parents.

 

[Jack_Bauer]

No I do not say to a person’s face,not in those exact words,but I do re-word it so they can reflect upon their face. Are you currently in the Army? I am a vet…U.S. Air Force 1992-2002.

We used to harass guys with their hands in their pickets and say “this isn’t the Air Force.” My dad was Air Force. I was Army 1985-1989 and National Guard on and off for 6 more years. Last hitch was after volunteering to go shoot some… people that made me angry… let’s say. Actually I was still Protestant and was working on a way to become a Chaplain. Never supported the war because I knew better. I have a Geography degree and studied a little about the region. My targets were always on Afghanistan and possibly Pakistan. A moron could have told us that.

I must be a bit more calloused than you then. I have no problems speaking frankly to folks. Political correctness is why our country is in a tailspin now.

 

[CompSciGuy]

But this is not true with all converts. I think the size of the chip depends largely on their level of maturity. The really negative ones I equate to a teenager who is rebelling against their parents, and everything they stand for. The more mature see both the good and bad in their parents.

It’s very sad when kids do that. So many people my age will blame all their problems on their parents and how they were raised. In some cases it’s justified (i.e. abuse, etc.) but in many cases that I’ve seen, the parents really are trying hard to raise their kids as best they can, and the faith is just part of that process. Fathers get an especially bad rap. I think when you come to realize that dad really did his best, it’s not so hard to love and appreciate him anymore.