Why do I feel forsaken?

[Bohm_Bawerk]

I have tried virtually every prayer that I know, from the Our Father, to the prayer to Our Lady of the Miraculous Medal, to novenas to several saints, and I still have this general feeling of being forsaken by God; none of my prayers have been answered, and I feel “hollow”.

I have turned from Agnosticism to Catholicism once again a couple of months ago, due to my conclusion that it is logically necessary for God to exist. But when you read the plethora of testimonies of people getting prayers answered, seeing Jesus in reality as a child (according to one famous poster here) and more, I can only be left to think: "Why them, and not me". I’m going to Confession this week for the first time, as a last resort that maybe - just maybe - things may become slightly better.

Have I been forsaken by God? Is the fact that my prayers are not being answered some indication that I’m damned not only in this world, but in the one that is to follow?

Thank you,
Eugen von Böhm-Bawerk

 

[JackVk]

No, you have not been forsaken. Even Mother Teresa experienced this, and for her, it lasted 30 or 40 years. She calls it “the dark night of the soul”, when God seems so distant.

At a retreat I went on recently, I was given a list of “Emergency Bible numbers”:
When in sorrow, John 14.
When men fail you, Psalm 27
When you want to be fruitful, John 15
When you have sinned, Psalm 51
When you worry, Matthew 6:19-34
When in danger, Psalm 91
When your faith needs stirring, Psalm 139
When lonely or fearful, Psalm 23
When you grow bitter and critical, 1 Corinthians 13
For Paul’s secret of happiness, 1 Corinthians 3:12-17
For Paul’s idea of Christianity, 2 Corinthians 5:15-19
When you feel down and out, Romans 8:31-39
When you want rest and peace, Matthew 11:25-30
When the world seems bigger than God, Psalm 70
When you want Christian assurance, Romans 8:1-30
When you leave home for labor or travel, Psalm 121
When your prayers grow narrow or selfish, Psalm 67

I relly hope this helps. I will be praying for you.

 

[catherine126]

Hi Eugen,

First of all, congratulations on making the tough but fulfilling choice of coming to Catholicism. We are so happy to have you with us! God be praised!

God does not forsake us; rather, he will leave the 99 to seek the one who has strayed! That being said, it’s sometimes hard to see how He is working in our lives.

I don’t know what you are praying for, but I am sure your intentions are sincere. As far as I know, God has about three answers to our prayers: “yes,” “not yet,” or “I have something better in mind.” Could any of these answers apply to your situation?

If I were to pray, “God, take away all of my financial difficulties,” would I expect Him to wipe away my debts overnight? Certainly not! He wants us to grow in virtue - including patience, honoring those whom we owe treasure, hard work, etc.

If I were to pray, “God, I really want a husband, send him to me,” would I expect Him to violate my future husband’s free will in order to do so? No, he loves and respects each of us just that much. Even if I were praying for a husband, would I want a stranger proposing to me at my door this evening? Not really

Eugen, our God is a merciful God! You are far from damned - I really and truly believe that you are being sanctified, right here, right now.

Congratulations on making the tremendous decision to receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation for the first time. Grace really flows from that Sacrament - I only wish that I had known that sooner!

Also, may I make another suggestion? Contact your parish office to find out what kinds of spiritual guidance are available to you. Other mature adults in the Catholic faith are available and ready to talk to you about your spiritual journey. They can help you put your current intentions in perspective.

And, of course, post here as often as you would like, and PM me anytime.

Blessings,

catherine

 

[Bohm_Bawerk]

Thank you for all the help and advice, both JackvK and catherine126. It is very much appreciated.

From what I’ve gathered, I’m going through a period known as the “dark night of the soul”. My only contention now is: Why me? I’m the antithesis of what is a saint, if there ever was one. The “dark night of the soul” has been described as a ‘‘blessing’’, although I’m still confused as to why me - me specifically - would receive such. It feels more like a punishment than a blessing

Thank you,
Eugen von Böhm-Bawerk

 

[JackVk]

Thank you for all the help and advice, both JackvK and catherine126. It is very much appreciated.

From what I’ve gathered, I’m going through a period known as the “dark night of the soul”. My only contention now is: Why me? I’m the antithesis of what is a saint, if there ever was one. The “dark night of the soul” has been described as a ‘‘blessing’’, although I’m still confused as to why me - me specifically - would receive such. It feels more like a punishment than a blessing

Thank you,
Eugen von Böhm-Bawerk

The truth is that we almost never know why God has put us where we are, but I have an analogy here.

http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl...bjsCg&esq=1&page=1&ndsp=22&ved=1t:429,r:0,s:0

look at the Big Dipper. Now, on the “cup” part, draw lines that connect the two non-consecutive corners to form a cross, which extends to the “handle”. Now, do you see the star on the end of the “handle”, which seems to make it bend? That is you, at the foot of the cross. Wherever you are, God wants you to be there for some reason, whether you know why or not.

Sorry, the image didn’t come up.

 

[JRKH]

It is difficult to know what is a “right answer” in many of these cases. I am glad to hear you are going to confession soon. Don’t be afriad to talk about these things with your confessor. I wonder to if you might not benefit from having a Spiritual Director. You might mention this to your confessor too.

First of all let me address what you say about prayer and your prayers not being answered. Much of this speaks to a form of “pride” and “self”. It speaks to an immaturity of faith. It also makes it sound as though you view prayers and novenas as some sort of “incantations”. I’m sure that isn’t the case, and yet we can all fall into the trap of feeling that if we do certain things (novena’s etc) that “our will” will be done.

My suggestion is that you perhaps move away from the formulaic prayers for awhile except to calm you and place you into a contemplative state. Then begin talking to God in a conversational way about what he wants from you and why the prayers have not been answere in the way you hoped for.
Another suggestion that has helped me is to “discect” the “Our Father”. Look carefully at the component parts. Put these parts into your own words instead of the words used in the Gospel. This will help you to understand how we should surrender to God, what we should be praying for and so forth.

Hope some of this helps.

Peace
James

 

[poor_clare]

I have tried virtually every prayer that I know, from the Our Father, to the prayer to Our Lady of the Miraculous Medal, to novenas to several saints, and I still have this general feeling of being forsaken by God; none of my prayers have been answered, and I feel “hollow”.

I have turned from Agnosticism to Catholicism once again a couple of months ago, due to my conclusion that it is logically necessary for God to exist. But when you read the plethora of testimonies of people getting prayers answered, seeing Jesus in reality as a child (according to one famous poster here) and more, I can only be left to think: "Why them, and not me". I’m going to Confession this week for the first time, as a last resort that maybe - just maybe - things may become slightly better.

Have I been forsaken by God? Is the fact that my prayers are not being answered some indication that I’m damned not only in this world, but in the one that is to follow?

Thank you,
Eugen von Böhm-Bawerk

Hi Eugen

I was where you are.

I found God through silence. You have a logical reason to believe. Maybe you need to believe with your heart and soul to feel fulfilled. Let go of your ego (I promise you not in any way a criticism. Just try to forget about “I” and your humanity) and remember that you’re not disconnected from God. Be silent and you will feel Him. Ask Him to make His presence known and He will. He did it for me - so He’ll do it for you.

God bless you and I hope that you stay with us.

Clare

 

[Bohm_Bawerk]

And another thing that strikes me as absurd, is that Scripture remarks that “God is not a God of confusion but of peace” (1 Corinthians 14:33)

Surely if “dark night of soul” was from God, it would be clear as to whether I’m being punished for my past ways, or whether it was simply a “blessing in disguise”. As William Shakespeare once wrote, something is rotten in the state of Denmark. In other words, I sense something quite fishy…

Thank you,
Eugen von Böhm-Bawerk

 

[Bohm_Bawerk]

I found God through silence.

It’d be nice if you could share a short testimony

I found God through silence. You have a logical reason to believe. Maybe you need to believe with your heart and soul to feel fulfilled. Let go of your ego (I promise you not in any way a criticism. Just try to forget about “I” and your humanity) and remember that you’re not disconnected from God. Be silent and you will feel Him. Ask Him to make His presence known and He will. He did it for me - so He’ll do it for you.

This part I don’t really understand. I’m hoping you can elaborate on what you mean by finding God through silence. And as for asking to make His presence known, I’m not really sure how to go about that. What prayer should I say for such to occur? And wouldn’t He take this as “testing Him”, which He deplores?

Thank you,
Eugen von Böhm-Bawerk

 

[CDNowak]

I have turned from Agnosticism to Catholicism once again a couple of months ago, due to my conclusion that it is** logically necessary** for God to exist. But when you read the plethora of testimonies of people getting prayers answered, seeing Jesus in reality as a child (according to one famous poster here) and more, I can only be left to think: "Why them, and not me". I’m going to Confession this week for the first time, as a last resort that maybe - just maybe - things may become slightly better.

Have I been forsaken by God? Is the fact that my prayers are not being answered some indication that I’m damned not only in this world, but in the one that is to follow?

Thank you,
Eugen von Böhm-Bawerk

There is a good bit of confusion between mystical experiences, sensations, and the spiritual life. Not everyone is called to be a mystic and see Jesus or the saints in this world. Talk to your priest about these things.

My guess is that you have more of a “head” outlook, than “heart” (to use the terms in another thread)? In my experience, those prone to a stronger rational approach are often less disposed to the mystical (but often strongly attracted to the Truth). There is a bit of a disservice in the fact that there doesn’t seem to be much written about the predilections to different portions of the spiritual life.

Personally, the advice to “quiet your mind” nearly drove me mad, two or three trains of thought is “quiet”, one is miraculous, none is impossible. Acquired contemplation for me is as inaccessible as infused contemplation. A primer on **meditation **(such as the Spiritual Exercises) was helpful. The studious Lectio Divina and imaginative Ignatian method are quite helpful for those of us not yet at the point of contemplation.

It is difficult to know what is a “right answer” in many of these cases. I am glad to hear you are going to confession soon. Don’t be afriad to talk about these things with your confessor. I wonder to if you might not benefit from having a Spiritual Director. You might mention this to your confessor too.

Yes!

 

[timotheos]

I have tried virtually every prayer that I know, from the Our Father, to the prayer to Our Lady of the Miraculous Medal, to novenas to several saints, and I still have this general feeling of being forsaken by God; none of my prayers have been answered, and I feel “hollow”.

I have turned from Agnosticism to Catholicism once again a couple of months ago, due to my conclusion that it is logically necessary for God to exist. But when you read the plethora of testimonies of people getting prayers answered, seeing Jesus in reality as a child (according to one famous poster here) and more, I can only be left to think: "Why them, and not me". I’m going to Confession this week for the first time, as a last resort that maybe - just maybe - things may become slightly better.

Have I been forsaken by God? Is the fact that my prayers are not being answered some indication that I’m damned not only in this world, but in the one that is to follow?

Thank you,
Eugen von Böhm-Bawerk

Hi Eugen,

You do ask the tough questions. I’m in the middle of a particularly bad questioning period myself with many of the same conclusions as you, namely that God has been trying to hint to me, in ever louder fashion, that I was not created for heaven like all the others in spite of my ingratiating myself to Him through prayer, sacrifice and charitable acts. I imagine He created me to find hell, not heaven, by forming me into a being with physical and emotional characteristics reviled by nearly all. I imagine He scowls at me in annoyance as I persistently distract Him from those pleasing to His attention. I spent two hours in desperate prayer last night begging for an answer, and … you got it … nothing.

And others’ testimonies of responses to prayer lead you to ask, “why them and not me?” Why indeed. Not only are we not all created equal as human beings, but God also is not equal in how He responds to our prayers. I, like you, am left hanging, twisting in the wind. Why this “unfairness”? Why this agony? Doesn’t God know He created me so much more broken than the rest; that I could use a little extra help? Maybe you feel the same way.

I, like you, find the usual platitudes to be of little help. Right now the only thing that keeps me going is knowing that God wants me to suffer, for some reason, for the eight-five hundredth time, in a way that feels like all the other times. Honestly, it takes me right to the brink of apostasy, it hurts so bad to feel rejected by your creator. Many times I just want to die. I left my brown scapular at home today, in case God wanted to hit me with a bolt of lightning and not have to be held to Our Lady’s promise to take me to heaven. There was a thunderstorm today, too, but He chose not to seize upon the opportunity.

Maybe He’s just getting you and me ready for the real cross, so that we have had some experience when we get it for real. Some speak of joy in carrying the cross. I wonder where they get* that *from.

-Tim

 

[Edward_H]

Maybe God is telling you that your feelings aren’t what He wants you to pursue and desire?

Maybe He’s telling you that He wants you more focused on the feelings of others?

Maybe He wants you to surrender your will with more abandonment to Him?

Maybe you’re walling off an area in your life from Him?

Maybe He wants you to pray even more to Him?

Maybe He hopes that you will offer your 'lack of feelings" up for the souls who don’t know Him yet?

Sometimes God grants us feelings…and other times not.

Do not be led around by your nose by your feelings.

God seeks your complete union with Him, even if this means self-donating your lack of feeling to Him.

In a wonderful book called He and I, Gabrielle asks: “Is it love when my heart beats more quickly when I think of you?” The voice responds: “Yes it is love. But it’s also love when you make an effort to be good for My sake without the slightest pleasurable feeling.”

 

[Bohm_Bawerk]

Maybe God is telling you that your feelings aren’t what He wants you to pursue and desire?

Maybe He’s telling you that He wants you more focused on the feelings of others?

Maybe He wants you to surrender your will with more abandonment to Him?

Maybe you’re walling off an area in your life from Him?

Maybe He wants you to pray even more to Him?

Maybe He hopes that you will offer your 'lack of feelings" up for the souls who don’t know Him yet?

Sometimes God grants us feelings…and other times not.

Do not be led around by your nose by your feelings.

God seeks your complete union with Him, even if this means self-donating your lack of feeling to Him.
”

Thanks for this. However, the only problem I have with this is that it suggests that coming to God is more difficult than it is. I don’t understand, or would not understand, why God would make it difficult for His children to come back to Him, especially if they’ve been through a “period of doubt”. The Bible even remarks somewhere that God rejoices over the repentance of 1 sinner than 99 righteous men.

It’s quite easy to resort to divination or be an Atheist-in-rebellion under these circumstances, but I believe that Atheism is the easy way out. I believe that “something is out there”, that the Catholic Church is the One True Church, both through logical deduction and from reading the multitude of positive testimonies with God here and beyond.

I have thought that maybe it’s because I’m in a state of mortal sin that God is refusing to listen (hence why I’m going to confession later this week). But that would pretty much be my last resort. . .I think I’ve tried virtually everything. I’ve run out of ideas haha

Thank you,
Eugen von Böhm-Bawerk

 

[Bohm_Bawerk]

I wonder to if you might not benefit from having a Spiritual Director.

Do you mind if I ask who Spiritual Directors are, and do they usually charge?

Thank you,
Eugen von Böhm-Bawerk

 

[JRKH]

It’d be nice if you could share a short testimony

This part I don’t really understand. I’m hoping you can elaborate on what you mean by finding God through silence. And as for asking to make His presence known, I’m not really sure how to go about that. What prayer should I say for such to occur? And wouldn’t He take this as “testing Him”, which He deplores?

Thank you,
Eugen von Böhm-Bawerk

Eugen,
I’m going to but in here long enough to suggest that you aquire the book I show in my signature. It is not mine and I get nothing from recommending it. It is simply a wonderful book that would answer many of the questions youare asking here.
If you click on the title in my signature, it will take you to the amazon page where you can read reviews (universaly excellant) and also take a “peek” inside the book.

Peace
James

 

[JRKH]

Do you mind if I ask who Spiritual Directors are, and do they usually charge?

Thank you,
Eugen von Böhm-Bawerk

A spiritual director, as the name (name removed by moderator)lies is someone trained in Spiritual matters. They act as a guide and sounding board for any and all questions, expreiences etc. that one is going through in their spiritual life.
Not sure about charging. but I believe there is usually some fee or stipend involved. Speak to your priest about this and he can likely answer your questions and put you in touch with someone.

Peace
James

 

[JRKH]

Thanks for this. However, the only problem I have with this is that it suggests that coming to God is more difficult than it is. I don’t understand, or would not understand, why God would make it difficult for His children to come back to Him, especially if they’ve been through a “period of doubt”. The Bible even remarks somewhere that God rejoices over the repentance of 1 sinner than 99 righteous men.

It’s quite easy to resort to divination or be an Atheist-in-rebellion under these circumstances, but I believe that Atheism is the easy way out. I believe that “something is out there”, that the Catholic Church is the One True Church, both through logical deduction and from reading the multitude of positive testimonies with God here and beyond.

I have thought that maybe it’s because I’m in a state of mortal sin that God is refusing to listen (hence why I’m going to confession later this week). But that would pretty much be my last resort. . .I think I’ve tried virtually everything. I’ve run out of ideas haha

Thank you,
Eugen von Böhm-Bawerk

This is a case of looking at things in a wrong way.
Consider the analogy of athletics. One has a goal - to be a marathon runner. They know they can’t do it entirely on their own so they hook up with a personal trainer.
Then begins the work. They run, they lift weights, they go on a specific diet.
One week passes - are they ready to run a marathon? No
Two weeks pass - Are they ready? No
Three weeks…
Four weeks…
All during these weeks, this person is in training. they are disciplining themselves AND they expect their trainer to discipline them.
Some weeks they see and feel progress. Other weeks, none - it’s just a grind.

The spiritual journey is like this as well. God (our trainer) disciplines us, not out of punishment, but out of Love and the desire to see us grow.

Peace
James

 

[wllmlos]

Hey. In 1989 I was trying to find myself. Looking for a new career. I started a regular prayer regiment on my way to work. It was lengthy but it covered all the bases. I still say them over 20 years later.
Well. My prayers are like puzzle pieces. Some smaller prayers were answered and it was very obvious. But the larger prayers? I’m sorry to say have not happened yet so at times I feel forsaken as well.
Oh by the way, that first morning of prayers…I lost my job but found another one completely out of my career path and have been in it since then. Even started my own company in 2006.

 

[Edward_H]

Thanks for this. However, the only problem I have with this is that it suggests that coming to God is more difficult than it is. I don’t understand, or would not understand, why God would make it difficult for His children to come back to Him, especially if they’ve been through a “period of doubt”. The Bible even remarks somewhere that God rejoices over the repentance of 1 sinner than 99 righteous men.

It’s quite easy to resort to divination or be an Atheist-in-rebellion under these circumstances, but I believe that Atheism is the easy way out. I believe that “something is out there”, that the Catholic Church is the One True Church, both through logical deduction and from reading the multitude of positive testimonies with God here and beyond.

I have thought that maybe it’s because I’m in a state of mortal sin that God is refusing to listen (hence why I’m going to confession later this week). But that would pretty much be my last resort. . .I think I’ve tried virtually everything. I’ve run out of ideas haha

Thank you,
Eugen von Böhm-Bawerk

Kindly, don’t misunderstand my points and thoughts.

The pursuit of holiness (our call) isn’t easy. It’s a life long pursuit. But though it isn’t easy, this doesn’t mean though that it’s not a joyful struggle, or that God leaves us alone to struggle. No.

Read the Gospels, read Saint Paul’s letters. Love isn’t a feeling…it’s the giving of ourselves daily. “Pick up the cross daily” “Deny yourself”. Love (means to give, “kenosis” not to feel). All our heart, mind, soul, strength.

This is at least the Catholic understanding of Love and our universal call to holiness. You might be talking about something else.

Approaching God isn’t difficult…turning back to Him isn’t difficult. But that’s different from living out His will in our lives, daily, hourly. Following Him closely isn’t natural and easy. If it was easy, we wouldn’t need the sacraments, we wouldn’t need prayer. We wouldn’t see all the sin around us, and in us.

Our Father loves us like His Son…and so we must say yes to Him as Jesus did, and this often - very often - means saying no to our selves and our selfish nature which pops up all the time until we die.

Of course, Atheism is the easy, lazy way toward death. Absolutely.

A sincere ("manly, womanly), confession should be your first resort. Do it without equivocation, short sentences, sincere points. And then do it again the following weeks…say 2x a month.

 

[poor_clare]

It’d be nice if you could share a short testimony

This part I don’t really understand. I’m hoping you can elaborate on what you mean by finding God through silence. And as for asking to make His presence known, I’m not really sure how to go about that. What prayer should I say for such to occur? And wouldn’t He take this as “testing Him”, which He deplores?

Thank you,
Eugen von Böhm-Bawerk

Hi Eugen

You don’t need to say any prayer. Just “feel” His presence. Be in a quiet place: a church or when you’re about to drift off to sleep. He’s always there. You’re not testing Him. God loves you and you can ask Him the same question again and again. He will always answer you. But - you need to let Him. Whatever happened before is done. The only time is now and I can guarantee you that God never forsakes us - it’s we who turn away from Him because of the illusion of the world.

If you do need to say something may I suggest that you repeat, "Ask and you will receive. Seek and you shall find. Knock and it shall be opened unto you. " Then ask for what you need and I assure you that God will answer you.

I will remember you in my rosary Eugen. Please stay in touch and let me know how you are.

God bless you

Clare