Why do the " Bad Boys" get so many women?

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First of all, the Bible never describes God as “nice” so I see no reason for a girl to want a nice guy. They want someone who is a true man aka like God. Passionate, merciful, giving, assertive etc…
 
When I was in college and high school I was somewhat unique. I never dranks, swore, did drugs, smoke or went to porn. I went to Friday night bible studies and Intervarsity Fellowship. My nickname was “nice guy Carl.” But I was short, ugly, had no money and no car. Later after school I joined a Christian singles group. Some of us guys would watch as girls who had never spoken to us would walk over to introduce themselves to the tall, good looking guy who just joined.

And, yes, I know we guys are guilty of doing the same thing.

Years ago I had a paraphrased bible which I eventually through away. It was aimed for school age people. In it were many pictures. All those portrayed as Christians were young, attractive and looked healthy. Those who were not portrayed as Christians were old and ugly. And the guests on the 700 Club always emphasized looks and wealth.

Thus even the girls who did not go after the bad guys went for the wealth and glamor.

I have just given my viewpoint as a nonglamorous good guy. Now I have no doubt that girls have their gripes too and should tell them so that we can all learn.
 
Debora123 said:
Like I said, men whine about it waaayyy more than the women do. So man up.

And perhaps try paying some attention to the less attractive girls who are good girls but who no guy wants to date because they are not pretty enough.
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That phrase “man up” … what does that exactly mean. It might help if you tell people exactly what you perceive is a man “manning up” .
 
Crescentinus said:
Hence what I said about it being a grand challenge. However, the actions of the Catholic youth ministries and youth apostolates are not in vain. 🙂 I’m happy that something’s opposing the rot that trying to destroy my generation and subsequent generations.
I’m just hoping that the woman I’m looking for is not in a convent since I do not want to break her vow to God.
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Hmmm…my mother was in a convent in Manilla before she left to take care of her family. My folks were married for almost 40 years before she passed away…so who knows. 🙂
 
Crescentinus said:
I’ve seen plenty of women whine about the lack of a gentleman. And yes, my first post in this thread tells that but in more simpler terms.

Sadly, good, Catholic, wholesome and intelligent women are fast becoming a rarity here in Manila as I’ve seen many young women here lose their sense of self and their sanity. For instance, I’ve seen many young women love gay pairings. As a matter of fact, some of them even wanted to date gay men as opposed to heterosexual men. To make matters worse, some of them are following their radical Western sisters’ stances on heterophobia. That is a massive turn-off no matter how you argue for it or even slice it! I’ve also seen many young women here in Manila follow their sisters from other parts of the Far East join the damned sexual revolution, with disastrous results no less.
Looking for good, Catholic, wholesome and intelligent women here in Manila is one grand challenge in of itself. Do not try to underestimate the situation! However, things are starting to somewhat improve with all these Catholic youth ministries and apostolates popping up. But, it will take time to reverse the tide of the problems that I mentioned.
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Then it seems to me that what you should really be concerned about is your claim that there is a “lack of good women.” Not about bad boys getting all the good looking girls… which is what this thread is about and is what my response was geared towards in the first place.
 
Debora123 said:
Then it seems to me that what you should really be concerned about is your claim that there is a “lack of good women.” Not about bad boys getting all the good looking girls… which is what this thread is about and is what my response was geared towards in the first place.
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Actually, it was in the context of your response and this thread. You did mention that the girls who date bad boys aren’t good earlier, remember? 🙂
 
itullian said:
You know what I mean.:yup:

The jerks, bullies, rowdy, smooth talkin’ ones never want for women hanging all over them.:love:

While the nice guys are sitting there thinking “what the heck, I thought girls wanted nice guys.” :doh2:

C’mon guys, let em hear it, vent a little.:sad_yes:

C’mon girls, why do you go for them?:hmmm:
:flowers:
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Well, I’m not certain the Bad Boys* are *getting more women, but a thought just occurred to me, seeing your above statement that “the nice guys are sitting there…” and perhaps that’s part of the problem. While the others are flirting, complimenting, etc., are the nice fellows just “sitting there?”

There’s an old expression “A faint heart never won a fair lady.” One has to be proactive and outmaneuver the “Bad Boys.” But I personally always went for the nice, polite quiet types myself, being old fashioned.

Now that I’m a grand-mother, I’ve observed the younger generation of gentlemen sometimes seem less inclined to make the first social move. It could be all the technology. But I would think that if these “Bad Boys” are getting more women, they may not be getting the Nice Women. After all, what kind of person of either gender remains attracted to the bullies and jerks you described?

We should all be on our best behavior through this brief life we have. I like to think that the phrase Catholic Men would be synonymous with Chivalrous, and have found that to be true in most cases.
Best Wishes,
Kathryn Ann:heaven:
 
Justice_Mercy said:
That phrase “man up” … what does that exactly mean. It might help if you tell people exactly what you perceive is a man “manning up” .
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I already kinda posted about it here:
Well then I hope you find a GOOD girl. The girls that hang around “bad boys” generally aren’t good, Catholic, wholesome, intelligent women. So why complain about it?? Start taking some steps to find yourself a nice woman.
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Unfortunately, mopping about it and feeling victimized won’t help. As a female myself I can tell you that is very unattractive.
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Crescentinus said:
Actually, it was in the context of your response and this thread. You did mention that the girls who date bad boys aren’t good earlier, remember? 🙂
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I have no idea what you’re getting at. I said what I’ve needed to say and I stand by it. Sorry if it insults you, but it is what it is.
 
Why do the " Bad Boys" get so many women?

IMO, the guys lower their standards to be a ‘bad boy’ while women lower their standards so they can change the ‘bad boy’.

Fortunately, youth programs are trying to address the issue with youth to keep their high standards and not settle for less. I remember a youth speaker whose personal motto was that he didn’t want to sleep around before marriage because it would probably be with someone else’s wife. It’s all right to wait.
 
Debora123 said:
I have no idea what you’re getting at. I said what I’ve needed to say and I stand by it. Sorry if it insults you, but it is what it is.
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I wasn’t insulted.
I was referring to this:
Debora123 said:
***Well then I hope you find a GOOD girl. The girls that hang around “bad boys” generally aren’t good, Catholic, wholesome, intelligent women. So why complain about it?? Start taking some steps to find yourself a nice woman. ***

Unfortunately, mopping about it and feeling victimized won’t help. As a female myself I can tell you that is very unattractive.
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Remember this? 🙂
 
EasterJoy said:
The only thing I can think of is that people equate difficulty with rarity and rarity with value. If you can snag and tame the worst, you must be the best. Those are faulty equations, but I think there is some prideful “if he chooses me as a girlfriend,* I* will be able to hold on to him and he won’t treat me like that. *I *will command more respect than that.”
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This is absolutely correct. Strictly from a evolutionary perspective, men have a tendency towards polygamy and women have a tendency towards hypergamy. Men want to spread their seed as far as possible to get the most “hits,” but women have to be far choosier because they only get one bite at the apple. They must ensure that the children they bear are from the best possible genes. What better signal that a man is “worthy” than to see other women fighting for him?
Hidden pride and hidden shame, I think that is why women pick jerks.
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With women who grow up in broken homes or are generally of low status, I totally agree. Everyone else? Probably hypergamy tendencies. Or neuroses.
As for the “nice” guys, sometimes they try too hard. It is as if they have “Please, Please, Please! Please Would Somebody Date Me?” stamped on their forehead. When someone tries too hard, it sets off a “if something seems too good to be true, it probably is” wariness. It’s only natural.
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I think you’re right at the message but wrong on the reasoning. When someone tries too hard it sends off a vibe of being pathetic. Too available. Too eager to please. What woman or frankly any person, wants to get involved in that situation? Imagine you’re conducting a job interview. Who are you going to give the job to? A person who has experience is self-assured and already has a good job or a desperate long-term unemployed person who is begging for a shot?
 
Debora123 said:
I already kinda posted about it here:

I already kinda posted about it here:

Quote:
Well then I hope you find a GOOD girl. The girls that hang around “bad boys” generally aren’t good, Catholic, wholesome, intelligent women. So why complain about it?? Start taking some steps to find yourself a nice woman.

Unfortunately, mopping about it and feeling victimized won’t help. As a female myself I can tell you that is very unattractive.
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That’s sounds reasonable… guys that feel sorry for themselves or are bitter or something about women are generally not going to act in a confident, attractive manner.

I also like what another poster said about men being chivalrous… I am a bit old-fashioned in that way, but I also know that being chivalrous doesn’t exclude a little confidence or humorous wit. I wouldn’t want to be with anyone that didn’t laugh or who wasn’t at least a little adventurous (not reckless!) in spirit and I don’t think most women would either.

P.S. a godly woman is something a faithful man finds beautiful… I am assuming that is also the reverse for women.
 
blueadept said:
Why do the " Bad Boys" get so many women?

IMO, the guys lower their standards to be a ‘bad boy’ while women lower their standards so they can change the ‘bad boy’.

Fortunately, youth programs are trying to address the issue with youth to keep their high standards and not settle for less. I remember a youth speaker whose personal motto was that he didn’t want to sleep around before marriage because it would probably be with someone else’s wife. It’s all right to wait.
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I even remember EWTN did a program showing Blessed Pope John Paul II’s Theology of the Body aimed at teens and young people. And yes, I’ve also seen youth programs which does address what you’ve been saying. In fact, some of them had talks in Catholic high schools and colleges! 🙂
 
Justice_Mercy said:
That’s sounds reasonable… guys that feel sorry for themselves or are bitter or something about women are generally not going to act in a confident, attractive manner.

I also like what another poster said about men being chivalrous… I am a bit old-fashioned in that way, but I also know that being chivalrous doesn’t exclude a little confidence or humorous wit. I wouldn’t want to be with anyone that didn’t laugh or who wasn’t at least a little adventurous (not reckless!) in spirit and I don’t think most women would either.

P.S. a godly woman is something a faithful man finds beautiful… I am assuming that is also the reverse for women.
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👍
 
Debora123 said:
Again, not sure what you’re getting at.
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My point is, I posted what’s happening here in Manila as part of the discussion in this thread. You did mention that I must find a good, Catholic, wholesome and intelligent woman. I then responded with the problems plaguing my generation (lack of good young women in Manila) as well as the solutions done to reverse it (Catholic youth ministries and apostolates).
 
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