Why do the " Bad Boys" get so many women?

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Kathryn_Ann said:
Well, I’m not certain the Bad Boys* are *getting more women, but a thought just occurred to me, seeing your above statement that “the nice guys are sitting there…” and perhaps that’s part of the problem. While the others are flirting, complimenting, etc., are the nice fellows just “sitting there?”

There’s an old expression “A faint heart never won a fair lady.” One has to be proactive and outmaneuver the “Bad Boys.” But I personally always went for the nice, polite quiet types myself, being old fashioned.

Now that I’m a grand-mother, I’ve observed the younger generation of gentlemen sometimes seem less inclined to make the first social move. It could be all the technology. But I would think that if these “Bad Boys” are getting more women, they may not be getting the Nice Women. After all, what kind of person of either gender remains attracted to the bullies and jerks you described?

We should all be on our best behavior through this brief life we have. I like to think that the phrase Catholic Men would be synonymous with Chivalrous, and have found that to be true in most cases.
Best Wishes,
Kathryn Ann:heaven:
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I tried outmaneuvering, and I found out that going for a full offensive can actually work. (Please excuse the military jargon.)

Also, it is true that most of the bad boys ended up getting the really bad girls and then leave them. I’ve seen that happen many times in my life. It is saddening, but I can’t help but facepalm at the immaturity of both parties.
 
Kathryn_Ann said:
Well, I’m not certain the Bad Boys* are *getting more women, but a thought just occurred to me, seeing your above statement that “the nice guys are sitting there…” and perhaps that’s part of the problem. While the others are flirting, complimenting, etc., are the nice fellows just “sitting there?”

There’s an old expression “A faint heart never won a fair lady.” One has to be proactive and outmaneuver the “Bad Boys.” But I personally always went for the nice, polite quiet types myself, being old fashioned.

Now that I’m a grand-mother, I’ve observed the younger generation of gentlemen sometimes seem less inclined to make the first social move. It could be all the technology. But I would think that if these “Bad Boys” are getting more women, they may not be getting the Nice Women. After all, what kind of person of either gender remains attracted to the bullies and jerks you described?

We should all be on our best behavior through this brief life we have. I like to think that the phrase Catholic Men would be synonymous with Chivalrous, and have found that to be true in most cases.
Best Wishes,
Kathryn Ann:heaven:
Click to expand...
I think there is a lot of wisdom in your observations. 🙂
 
It’s a pretty simple thing to figure out…and this really is no secret to most of us here. But fair warning, your mind will rebel against this.

Woman are attracted to Alpha traits within men: aggressiveness, assertiveness, confidence, etc. Woman are attracted to these men sexually, whether they like it or not. They make good mates because those genes are good for survival. Women are excited by these types because they display strong characteristics that are good for reproduction. The old saying, “women may not like jerks, but they are attracted to them”, holds a lot of truth. I think most guys here have plenty of data to back this up…and it also lines up anthropologically. These guys are the “bad boy”, the “douche bag”, etc…think The Situation…or anyone on Jersey Shore. Alphas.

Here’s the kicker…they’re also attracted to Beta traits within men as well: politeness, kindness, accommodation, gentleness, etc. This is the person they want to make a family with. This is the person they want to settle down with…BUT this is not always the same person they want to have a baby with. This is “the nice guy”, they guy who hears “oh…I just want to be friends…”, etc

Typically, when women cheat on their husbands/boyfriends, it’s usually with an Alpha…and it’s because the husband/boyfriend lacked Alpha traits. Easily fixed, but most guys don’t know the signs.

What you need is a balance between Alpha and Beta traits. Know when to be kind, loving, etc, and know when to be forceful, direct, and assertive. Too much Alpha, and you turn into Donald Trump…too much Beta and you turn into Raymond Barone (…the ultimate beta-male of the 90’s…)

These days, guys have been trained by our mostly feminist society to be betas: “Listen to your wife or you’ll get in trouble”, “ohhhh…she’s the boss of the house”, “ohhh…I don’t mess with her”, “ohhh…whatever she wants, she gets”. Sound familiar? Beta…beta…beta…beta. Men must walk a thin line between Alpha and Beta. Get it right, and girls will be attracted to you.

Now, you’re going to get feminists who completely reject this…and you’re inner training will absolutely hate reading this, but it is the truth. Men aren’t meant to be doormats…they are meant to be leaders of their family.
 
Crescentinus said:
Thanks. 😃

Now, for rule #71, should I approach in a manner of a Holy League admiral with a large fleet at Lepanto? 🙂
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Well, that would be a much larger step than bringing the sword or gun belt that you mentioned earlier 😃
 
Crescentinus said:
My point is, I posted what’s happening here in Manila as part of the discussion in this thread. You did mention that I must find a good, Catholic, wholesome and intelligent woman. I then responded with the problems plaguing my generation (lack of good young women in Manila) as well as the solutions done to reverse it (Catholic youth ministries and apostolates).
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I was referring to my INITIAL post on this thread… which is why I said “…my response in the first place”.

That was the post you immediately started refuting, even though later on you claimed your problem was with finding good women, not with bad boys getting all the girls.

Look, if you don’t like my outlook on this whole “girls dating bad boys” dilemma so many men seem to whine about, then don’t take my advice. As simple as that. As a 26 year old women who graduated high school and college both within the last decade, I figured it might be of some value for you boys to get a glimpse into a young woman’s perspective on this. Take it or leave it. Good luck.
 
mellowcalico said:
Well, that would be a much larger step than bringing the sword or gun belt that you mentioned earlier 😃
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But, should I still wear a knightsword with scabbard on the left hip while wearing a large longbarrel pistol with holster on the right hip? 😃
 
Women like a challenge
Nice guys are not a challenge

Incidentally, nice girls face a similar challenge
 
catholicgamer said:
It’s a pretty simple thing to figure out…and this really is no secret to most of us here. But fair warning, your mind will rebel against this.

Woman are attracted to Alpha traits within men: aggressiveness, assertiveness, confidence, etc. Woman are attracted to these men sexually, whether they like it or not. They make good mates because those genes are good for survival. Women are excited by these types because they display strong characteristics that are good for reproduction. The old saying, “women may not like jerks, but they are attracted to them”, holds a lot of truth. I think most guys here have plenty of data to back this up…and it also lines up anthropologically. These guys are the “bad boy”, the “douche bag”, etc…think The Situation…or anyone on Jersey Shore. Alphas.

Here’s the kicker…they’re also attracted to Beta traits within men as well: politeness, kindness, accommodation, gentleness, etc. This is the person they want to make a family with. This is the person they want to settle down with…BUT this is not always the same person they want to have a baby with. This is “the nice guy”, they guy who hears “oh…I just want to be friends…”, etc

Typically, when women cheat on their husbands/boyfriends, it’s usually with an Alpha…and it’s because the husband/boyfriend lacked Alpha traits. Easily fixed, but most guys don’t know the signs.

What you need is a balance between Alpha and Beta traits. Know when to be kind, loving, etc, and know when to be forceful, direct, and assertive. Too much Alpha, and you turn into Donald Trump…too much Beta and you turn into Raymond Barone (…the ultimate beta-male of the 90’s…)

These days, guys have been trained by our mostly feminist society to be betas: “Listen to your wife or you’ll get in trouble”, “ohhhh…she’s the boss of the house”, “ohhh…I don’t mess with her”, “ohhh…whatever she wants, she gets”. Sound familiar? Beta…beta…beta…beta. Men must walk a thin line between Alpha and Beta. Get it right, and girls will be attracted to you.

Now, you’re going to get feminists who completely reject this…and you’re inner training will absolutely hate reading this, but it is the truth. Men aren’t meant to be doormats…they are meant to be leaders of their family.
Click to expand...
You know, I remember a study that was done in nightclubs a few years ago (well, saw it on a TV documentary). They said when women are most fertile, they are more attracted to alpha-like males and the rest of the time they are attracted to the beta types you mentioned. So what you are saying makes sense to me.
 
tarboy said:
Women like a challenge
Nice guys are not a challenge

Incidentally, nice girls face a similar challenge
Click to expand...
Bad boys, aren’t that challenging either. I’ve seen women give up on bad boys due to them being bored with bad boys. Bad girls are even worse. Take it from me, a guy who had seen how pathetic bad girls would act just to prove something idiotic.
 
Crescentinus said:
But, should I still wear a knightsword with scabbard on the left hip while wearing a large longbarrel pistol with holster on the right hip? 😃
Click to expand...
I am not sure if it will work at attracting women… but you certainly will attract a lot of attention! lol 😃
 
mellowcalico said:
I am not sure if it will work at attracting women… but you certainly will attract a lot of attention! lol 😃
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Challenge accepted. 😃
In all seriousness, I do need to get licensing in order to wear those weapons in public and abide by the laws regarding having those weapons while going into establishments. 🙂
 
mellowcalico said:
You know, I remember a study that was done in nightclubs a few years ago (well, saw it on a TV documentary). They said when women are most fertile, they are more attracted to alpha-like males and the rest of the time they are attracted to the beta types you mentioned. So what you are saying makes sense to me.
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Yes…that is something I left out. When a women is ovulating, her need for an Alpha male drastically goes up. It’s just in their nature. It’s not bad, or good…it just is.
 
Debora123 said:
I was referring to my INITIAL post on this thread… which is why I said “…my response in the first place”.

That was the post you immediately started refuting, even though later on you claimed your problem was with finding good women, not with bad boys getting all the girls.

Look, if you don’t like my outlook on this whole “girls dating bad boys” dilemma so many men seem to whine about, then don’t take my advice. As simple as that. As a 26 year old women who graduated high school and college both within the last decade, I figured it might be of some value for you boys to get a glimpse into a young woman’s perspective on this. Take it or leave it. Good luck.
Click to expand...
I have taken your advice. 🙂
Thank you. I did show you my perspective of it though and your advice fits perfectly like a gauntlet, steel and all. :extrahappy:
 
Actually, here’s a book I’ll recommend on this whole subject of Alpha and Beta traits and how to balance them:

amazon.com/The-Married-Life-Primer-2011/dp/1460981731/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1337107158&sr=8-1

WARNING WARNING:

This guy is not Catholic…he Agnostic actually. He transmits the message crudely in some cases and uses crude language. Now…that being said, there is a lot of truth to what he writes. Just remember that not everything he says is true. Follow your faith…take the truth out where you see it. You are warned.
 
How did I know even before you posted that link that it would be Athol Kay’s book?

I figured you’d go that route instead of trying something like linking to Mystery or Roissy. A lot of what those folks have to say is purely for someone trying to break through the noise and become a pickup champion. You can apply the philosophy in any setting and there’s no need to venture into the darker and sinful side of what those kinds of people discuss. But even in a moral vacuum, from a practical aspect they are absolutely terrible for long-term relationships and actual marriage, especially Catholic marriage.

If you’re going to link to a PUA-type guy, Athol Kay is definitely the way to go.
 
catholicgamer said:
Actually, here’s a book I’ll recommend on this whole subject of Alpha and Beta traits and how to balance them:

amazon.com/The-Married-Life-Primer-2011/dp/1460981731/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1337107158&sr=8-1

WARNING WARNING:

This guy is not Catholic…he Agnostic actually. He transmits the message crudely in some cases and uses crude language. Now…that being said, there is a lot of truth to what he writes. Just remember that not everything he says is true. Follow your faith…take the truth out where you see it. You are warned.
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Or if you don’t have time, at least watch Swingers. It’s a raucous bromance film, but it actually is quite astute at pointing out the mistakes made by both the fun/bad boy and the nice/safe guy, and it sheds light on where a man can strike a good compromise.
 
The_Bucket said:
How did I know even before you posted that link that it would be Athol Kay’s book?

I figured you’d go that route instead of trying something like linking to Mystery or Roissy. A lot of what those folks have to say is purely for someone trying to break through the noise and become a pickup champion. You can apply the philosophy in any setting and there’s no need to venture into the darker and sinful side of what those kinds of people discuss. But even in a moral vacuum, from a practical aspect they are absolutely terrible for long-term relationships and actual marriage, especially Catholic marriage.

If you’re going to link to a PUA-type guy, Athol Kay is definitely the way to go.
Click to expand...
I’m SO glad you chimed in!! Honestly, I’ve had no other Catholic men to bounce this guy off of…or their ideas. His thesis makes rational sense, but something is certainly off…hence my warning. I recommend Athol, but with caution.

Roissy…well, he just rubs me the wrong way and is totally for pickup artists. Don’t listen to Roissy, as he seems to be just a mirror reflection of the feminists. Athol seems to be the most balanced of the group so far. Certainly, it can make you aware of the line you have to walk between alpha and beta traits. There is certainly a dark side to the whole scene that you must be aware of.

Thoughts?
 
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