Why do women do this thread

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purplesunshine said:
All these “things” that happen to a person…this chaos…can cause changes in the brain.

Prenatal neglect can cause brain damage, mental retardation, Fetal alchol syndrome and drug withdrawl.

In the first three years of life neglect and abuse almost always causes some variety of attachment disorder, culminating in RAD (reactive attacment disorder). The brain literally rewires and forms differently. This rewiring can occure outside of parental neglect, say, when an infant or small child requires a painful surgery and a parent is unable to be with them.

In the years 3-7 other problems of ADD, ADHD, psycosis, Bi-polar, oppositinal defiant disorder can start to come into play. Neglect and abuse create either internal or external anger and hormone changes which can tip off brain chemicals, literally destroying the brain’s wiring. Things like ADD and Bi-polar are things that a child would have to have a genetic pre-disopsition for, but a child in a completely healthy situation would likely not have developed those problems, or let them turn into such huge unbearable objects in their lives.

Abuse, neglect or signifigant death, occurring in the years 6-12 affects asteem and decision making ability. Typically, they won’t change the structure or wiring of the brain but the lasting impact of an event affects the person’s identity in a negitive way. It can also affect their sexuality depending on what is going on. For instance, a death of an younger sister may trap a 10 year old in a stage wanting to be much younger and fearing her womanhood. The death of a father can do much the same…while the death of a mother or older sister at age 10 can make a young girl seek puberty and womanhood with a fervor that creates alot of unhelthy behavior.

Lastly, the reason that not all people who are neglected and abused become crazy is a mix of genetics and life experiences. But in many respects the damage done to children comes in the first 3 years, and its ALOT of work to almost literally rewire the damage done to the brain.

(if you don’t believe me, there are brain scans to prove that parts of the brain in neglected, RAD children literally turn off)

So why are women this way? This is why. But remember on the other side you should be asking why are men this way? Why do men exploit, abuse and seduce?
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Ahh very good, this makes PERFECT sence! So these women
are mentally unstable. They are not able to recognize the big picture. They want good, but truly
don’t know how to obtain it.

Why do men behave the way they
do? Realy very simple, men normaly follow logic. This is why between the two genders women
are the least understood.
 
excaliber said:
Why do men behave the way they
do? Realy very simple, men normaly follow logic. This is why between the two genders women
are the least understood.
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Are you purposefully being inflammatory? Or are you genuinely this ignorant about women, and about human nature?

I wish you could have an objective view on what you are saying here. I think you should stay far away from any women’s help ministry until you have a major change of heart on how you view them.
 
So here is the situation. I was and
to a degree still am close to a nice
young lady. I basicly adopted her as my little sister. I cared for her a lot but I couldn’t help but notice some of the same self destructive
habits. She also used to work as a striper, her boyfriend did not appreciate her etc…

Every time I would hear about a potentially dangerous situation she would put herself in, I would be so
upset and confused as to why she did it. And this girl was a sweet heart. So I was tortured by caring for someone that was constantly putting herself in bad situations, and constantly worrying me sick.
But she will probably continue to
choose to be a target for men who
are dangerous.

I saw a program about the sex trade on t.v. and ofcourse I felt
horrible. But then I felt exited because I thought to myself that I
found a good ministry to get involved and fight against this evil.
But that battle began to look like the war we are fighting in the middle east. It did not look like there was any way to win.
Because If these men were not kidnapping and putting these women in danger for a profit.
Many of them would just put themselves in the same danger of there own free will.

If You wanted to help, how would
you do so?

Or do you feel that there is no way
to stop or even slow this down?
 
Lerin said:
Are you purposefully being inflammatory? Or are you genuinely this ignorant about women, and about human nature?

I wish you could have an objective view on what you are saying here. I think you should stay far away from any women’s help ministry until you have a major change of heart on how you view them.
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Men lean more on logic, women lean more on emotion. Emotion is
not as easy to predict then logic.

Our society has known this for
probably 100 years or more.

The question is why do you reject
such sound logic?
 
excaliber said:
Men lean more on logic, women lean more on emotion. Emotion is
not as easy to predict then logic.

Our society has known this for
probably 100 years or more.

The question is why do you reject
such sound logic?
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Your “logic” is flawed, my friend.

I am sorry that you cannot see it.
 
Lerin said:
Your “logic” is flawed, my friend.

I am sorry that you cannot see it.
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Logic is not flawed. You just need to continue to add the variables and your conclusion will become
more and more accurate.

I can prove it. Pick anyone alcoholic, rape victims, war veterans, anyone.
They all can draw comfort and understanding from groups made
up of others like them.
BECAUSE THEY SHARE A VIEWPOIN…A LOGIC. that we don’t because we don’t have there
experience.

If there was no logic, it would not matter if a person shared the same experience because everything would be random and chaotic.

Do you feel we should just ignore what we don’t understand, because to you gathering information is “Judging”?
 
It’s just dumbfounding, I know.

What this 6th wife is doing is really just boneheaded. But often times when a women settles for someone like that it is because they feel like they don’t deserve better. They are desperate for love and companionship and they feel like they ought to take what they can get.

Sad really.
 
GodIsGracious said:
LOL! I am a woman. I have met more illogical men in my life than I care to count! Like, well, now for instance.
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hahaha NOT.
You don’t want to start a gender war on the topic of logic…because
men will win all day long. Our main flaw is the strong drive between our legs, when we think
with that we get in trouble.
LoL
 
apromisemade said:
It’s just dumbfounding, I know.

What this 6th wife is doing is really just boneheaded. But often times when a women settles for someone like that it is because they feel like they don’t deserve better. They are desperate for love and companionship and they feel like they ought to take what they can get.

Sad really.
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Its the take what they can get part. Am I missing something or
can’t nice looking women get several men to approach them?

Because if they canot, then it would make more sence to date
a posible 3 time murderer because
there was no other man.
 
Friend - and I ask this in all honesty and without rancor - are you a child? Your assertions are so sweepingly platitude filled and simplistic that I cannot help but think you are either a child who is absolutely convinced he knows everything, a young man who has not experienced enough of life to know he is probably wrong about almost every thing he “knows”, or a troll.

Without being mean, I have to question your calling. You do not exhibit, via web forums at least, any of the traits usually associated with those who dedicate themselves to helping others. Perhaps you should get a job in math or engineering, make money and donate it to others.

Every time you make a statement of fact, I literally have to laugh. Life is not simple. People do not make good decisions. You can’t save anyone, you can only show them hope and an alternative. Logic is not always the best tool; emotions are not bad. Men are evil; men are good.

If you don’t have the background to understand the nature of the question you’re posing, then all the answers will seem stupid to you. Try explaining Calculus to someone who can’t balance a checkbook. That’s what you’re asking people here to do for you. I feel like you do not have an emotional maturity, an intellectual understanding of behavior and the way childhood events effect it, or even a spiritual maturity to see that God is in the chaos working with people. He is not the author of chaos, but neither is He confounded by it.

If you need to fix things, engineering is a good fit for you; people are not.
 
Lerin said:
So… you weren’t looking for an explanantion. Only a place to vent.

I’ve noticed some other threads you begin by asking a question, of “Why does so-and-so do this?” and then rant about how it makes no sense.

I think it is best to stay humble, and realize you are blessed that you do not struggle with some of these issues. You come across as very judgemental about people’s life choices and motivations. Only God knows our souls, and our moral culpability for what choices we make.

Be careful, my friend in Christ.
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excaliber is 100% CORRECT. There is too much idiocy going on in the world, and people need to be called on it. If that is being “judgmental”, then so be it - the world needs more judgmentalism, not less; it just may save someone’s life.

And for the record, I live in the Chicago area, so this whole saga has been front page news for some time now, and even this newest woman’s family is concerned for her safety:

suntimes.com/news/peterson/1335376,drew-peterson-engaged-stacy-121708.article

Are you all going to jump over this woman’s father as well as being “judgmental”?
 
**“An attractive woman walking past
with 10 men trying to get her number, Knows very well that she
has 10 choices. She knows very well that she is beautifull. She knows very well that drug dealers
don’t make the best husbands, She chooses the drug dealer anyway with full knowledge she could have any of the 10 men calling her.”
**
But do those women really feel beautiful inside? I would bet they do not. I would bet they are so insecure in themselves that the way they look doesn’t make any difference. I would bet they are using their sex appeal for superficial validation, but that they know it doesn’t get any deeper than that.
 
Norseman82 said:
excaliber is 100% CORRECT. There is too much idiocy going on in the world, and people need to be called on it. If that is being “judgmental”, then so be it - the world needs more judgmentalism, not less; it just may save someone’s life.

And for the record, I live in the Chicago area, so this whole saga has been front page news for some time now, and even this newest woman’s family is concerned for her safety:

suntimes.com/news/peterson/1335376,drew-peterson-engaged-stacy-121708.article

Are you all going to jump over this woman’s father as well as being “judgmental”?
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Very true!!

I am sure people who are pro choice use the same " don’t judge
us" argument.

The only argument for idiocy is
to use the “don’t judge us” argument.

I know a girl who is a single mom,
She works and goes to school AND
takes care of her daughter.

I am sure she would rather have someone be “judgmental” and keep her away from jerks, so that she won’t be a single mom with 2
4 or 5 kids.
 
Pro-Life_Teen said:
What’s not logical? And knowing you are attractive does not equal high self esteem. It might be the only self esteem you can grasp though- somehow I don’t think playboy models are a happy bunch of young women who are either fulfilling their vocation to married life or singlehood. Last I checked, dating Hugh Hefer wasn’t a vocation.

See, here’s the point- they don’t know better. You grow up in chaos, you need chaos, and you look for it. Because all you’re used to is pain.

Have you seen the posts on this forum from distraught wives whose husbands show signs of having NPD? One can be very charming and manipulative until you’re too close.

And random strangers staring at you is a self-esteem booster?

That isn’t the best way to find a husband, really…

Really? It’s that easy to wipe away all bad memories, experiences and just smile while finding a perfect husband. Who was one of the guys staring at her on a daily basis?

Obviously you’ve never been in a situation that leaves deep emotional scars.

Well, yes, but that’s like saying there are many people who drive around drunk and have never killed anyone, so it must be alright.

Technically he could ask for help from family, neighbors. Collect unemployment, or make a deal with the neighbor that he’ll do their yardwork in exchange for meals.

Random guys lustfully asking for an attractive women’s number are probably less than ideal choices. It might very well be how many choose the suave looking man that hits them-- only sometimes, though.

I don’t think people introduce themselves with “Hello, I’m a drug dealer. Can I have your number?”

Well, your question and following statements are such that you decide women who have probably never felt lower in their lives don’t deserve help and should be the equivalent of kicked while they’re down. Because they didn’t suck it up and stop stripping, the only job that pays them, or leave the abusive husband who threatens to kill her.

You don’t always see how everything is going to work out right off the bat. Drug dealer might be lying, you know. If they deal, I don’t think they’re above lying.

Yes, he’s a scumbag and yes some people are attracted to that. It’s taking the like of the alpha male personality to an extreme, and no doubt a hidden thought that “he would never hurt me” while going into it. These women aren’t any more capable of saying no to these kinds of guys than apparently Peterson is unable to keep them. But surely they don’t deserve to die! They need help.

You want logic for deep emotional troubles- not gonna happen.
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Yes. Take the advice from the Teen.
 
excaliber said:
Very true!!

I am sure people who are pro choice use the same " don’t judge
us" argument.

The only argument for idiocy is
to use the “don’t judge us” argument.

I know a girl who is a single mom,
She works and goes to school AND
takes care of her daughter.

I am sure she would rather have someone be “judgmental” and keep her away from jerks, so that she won’t be a single mom with 2
4 or 5 kids.
Click to expand...
Some single moms would rather have their children.
 
excaliber said:
Very true!!

I am sure people who are pro choice use the same " don’t judge
us" argument.

The only argument for idiocy is
to use the “don’t judge us” argument.

I know a girl who is a single mom,
She works and goes to school AND
takes care of her daughter.

I am sure she would rather have someone be “judgmental” and keep her away from jerks, so that she won’t be a single mom with 2
4 or 5 kids.
Click to expand...
I think you are taking my words out of context.

Excaliber, I said that YOU come across as judgemental… not for identifying moral rights and wrongs… but for your attitude and your assumptions about why people do what they do. Scripture tells us that only God knows the great mystery of the human heart. We cannot look as an outsider and decide a person’s moral culpability for their decisions. That is what I mean by judgemental.

Norseman, the pro-life issue is very dear to my heart. I can say with absolute moral certainty that it is ALWAYS wrong to take the life of a child in his/her mother’s womb. That is a grave evil, and it is not judging to say so. But for me to look at a young abused teen and to decide whether she is morally culpable for the so-called “choice” to have an abortion, is NOT my place. I cannot look at her life as God can, and decide whether her choice is “logical” or not.

On this thread (starting with post #6, for example as you say there is no excuse/NPD victims are not “tricked” etc) AND in others(your response to mrpathetic here for example- forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=338638), you have repeatedly decided that you can see into motivations/hearts where you most certainly cannot.

I don’t think that I am helping by commenting further on this thread. My point is NOT to attack you, but to help you understand that people are not robots of logic… where there are always if/then relationships. We are complex, and we don’t always “make sense.” Until you can understand that, you will be frustrated by trying to understand the impossible.

I suggest again that you first PRAY for the people who you come across in these kinds of situations before you try to do anything else.
 
GhostMan said:
Friend - and I ask this in all honesty and without rancor - are you a child? Your assertions are so sweepingly platitude filled and simplistic that I cannot help but think you are either a child who is absolutely convinced he knows everything, a young man who has not experienced enough of life to know he is probably wrong about almost every thing he “knows”, or a troll.

Without being mean, I have to question your calling. You do not exhibit, via web forums at least, any of the traits usually associated with those who dedicate themselves to helping others. Perhaps you should get a job in math or engineering, make money and donate it to others.

Every time you make a statement of fact, I literally have to laugh. Life is not simple. People do not make good decisions. You can’t save anyone, you can only show them hope and an alternative. Logic is not always the best tool; emotions are not bad. Men are evil; men are good.

If you don’t have the background to understand the nature of the question you’re posing, then all the answers will seem stupid to you. Try explaining Calculus to someone who can’t balance a checkbook. That’s what you’re asking people here to do for you. I feel like you do not have an emotional maturity, an intellectual understanding of behavior and the way childhood events effect it, or even a spiritual maturity to see that God is in the chaos working with people. He is not the author of chaos, but neither is He confounded by it.

If you need to fix things, engineering is a good fit for you; people are not.
Click to expand...
👍

This is exactly what I am trying to say.

I don’t want to offend you, Excaliber, and by trying to help you with another perspective, it seems that I am making things more confusing for you.

I’ll say a pray for you today. Blessings and peace, friend!
 
LERIN
You don’t know me.
Trying to judge me based of discussion forums seems far more
silly when you are doing a bit of judging your self.

All who wish to participate in a discusion with me in this thread or
others are welcome to express
there opinion, without me taking it
upon my self to judge them just because they don’t understand…and or are frustrated
by the foolish things that happen in our society.

You should be more worried about
eather the men that take advantage of women…or the women who put themselves in a position to get hurt.
NOT myself just because I openly
expose both the men and the women for making bad choices.
 
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