Why do you think kids are picky eaters?

[tomarin]

I don’t think about this too much except in a wistful, Andy Rooney-sort of way. The bottom line is if they’re getting enough calories and not starving, and eating a relatively balanced diet they will be okay.

I think to the degree I’m interested in what they eat it’s more of an aspirational sort of thing I do on their behalf, along the lines of wanting them (to no avail, no doubt) to enjoy classical music or Broadway showtunes. I read an article about an Italian chef who only feeds his kids the sort of sophisticated “adult food” he would eat and now they are avid consumers of oysters, pate de foie gras and so forth. This has not been my experience, and so I’m wondering how much of this is biological and how much cultural? I’ve also read that French children eat much as adults do, because they’re not given any other choices presumably. I did once live in France but I don’t recall paying much attention to what the children there ate. (I was barely an adult myself then and not much interested in food.)

 

[tomarin]

Because parents have allowed it and taught it. We were given all foods and expected to try them. Those we did not like had to be tasted and tried for at least three or four bites. We learned to eat everything that was there.

Once it was established that there were just certain foods (liver for my brother) (peas for me)…we did not have to eat them, except when someone else served them at their home. Then we knew to take a small portion and shut our mouths about our personal dislike of the food.

It is up to adults to teach little ones good manners and eating habits. Kids do pretty much what is allowed. So shame on the parents.

In our house they don’t get to eat dessert unless they at least try some of everything. But I also have lowered my expectations over the years as I’ve noticed there just seems to be a lot of things that are outside of their comfort zone. Or things that one child will eat, but not the other.

 

[petitfleur]

I was afraid to click on this and see it be all about the parents. Glad to see its not. I cannot even tell you how much I struggled with getting some of my kids to eat a vartery of foods, and the lengths I have gone. It’s really embarrassing when going out. At least they don’t make a big deal or expct others to cater to them. I have always been so envious of people whose kids eat a large variety of foods.

 

[sallybutler]

Because parents have allowed it and taught it. We were given all foods and expected to try them. Those we did not like had to be tasted and tried for at least three or four bites. We learned to eat everything that was there.

Once it was established that there were just certain foods (liver for my brother) (peas for me)…we did not have to eat them, except when someone else served them at their home. Then we knew to take a small portion and shut our mouths about our personal dislike of the food.

It is up to adults to teach little ones good manners and eating habits. Kids do pretty much what is allowed. So shame on the parents.

 

[tomarin]

I was afraid to click on this and see it be all about the parents. Glad to see its not. I cannot even tell you how much I struggled with getting some of my kids to eat a vartery of foods, and the lengths I have gone. It’s really embarrassing when going out. At least they don’t make a big deal or expct others to cater to them. I have always been so envious of people whose kids eat a large variety of foods.

The saving grace of my kids’ eating habits is that because their mother is Japanese and they eat Japanese cuisine fairly often, there are a number of things they will eat (such as nori - seaweed hammered into a paper sheet) that I would probably not have eaten as a kid, thus expanding their palate. My youngest son will eat sushi as long as it’s a California roll (the other one won’t eat any sushi, for some reason).

 

[jlc2k2]

I think a lot of kids would be picky eaters, but a lot depends on the parents, in SOME of these cases, at least. I think I would have been a picky eater, but my mother put her foot down, refused to make me special food. So, I learned to like pretty much everything, as a result.

There is that about sensory issues with some kids, listed above. I think that is rare, as was stated, in cases such as autism-type disorders.

It may be more common than you think. My oldest was very picky as a toddler to the point that she wasn’t gaining enough weight (everything she like was a fruit or veggie with few calories). She just could not stand certain textures (anything that felt like bread or was goopy). She had no other issues, just some textures that she wouldn’t eat no matter what we tried.

We used some calorie boosting tricks on what she would eat and over time she grew out of it. She eats a far greater variety than I did at that age.

 

[ClearWater]

It may be more common than you think. My oldest was very picky as a toddler to the point that she wasn’t gaining enough weight (everything she like was a fruit or veggie with few calories). She just could not stand certain textures (anything that felt like bread or was goopy). She had no other issues, just some textures that she wouldn’t eat no matter what we tried.

We used some calorie boosting tricks on what she would eat and over time she grew out of it. She eats a far greater variety than I did at that age.

I once had a friend who would absolutely force her daughter to eat potatoes, and her daughter would actually gag, like she was about to vomit!

We have someone at a home for people with disabilities, and one of my students will rather go without supper than eat some of the food there. They don´t know what to do with him.

 

[Viki63]

My stepdaughter used to drop her toddler at my house on Saturdays while she worked, and we gave him breakfast. She said he was very picky and used to cajole him to eat, even though he was certainly not underweight, and when he was at my house he would usually refuse everything we offered him.
So I started giving him a little plate with a variety on it: a couple crackers, slices of cheese, a strawberry, ham slice, etc and ignoring what he did with it. He usually ate everything once he saw no one was interested in his choices.

 

[Nelka]

I have mixed twins, they are three years old now, we give them the same food and the same amount of food, my son is picky, my daughter is like a dustbin.

Not sure what happened there.

My son does eat more food than most three year olds, we introduced them to a lot of different foods; I am the worst.

I think too many people give their children the same food over and over, my wife works at school with four and five year olds, many don’t know what to do with a fork and knife, they just get given snacks all the time.

 

[robwar]

I would like to chime in as one who was labeled a picky child and also carried the embarrassing label a picky adult eater. Being forced to try many foods as a child didn’t change my taste buds one iota. As I grew older I naturally tried new things.

While I would of course gently encourage children to try and explore new foods. I would in no way ever shame children. Not that you are planning on doing this, it’s just that this was my experience for most of my childhood and even into my adulthood if you can believe that. With my own children they did, and do have to taste something new, that is our rule.

As a grown woman even to this day I have others look at me strangely that I am “fussy” that I don’t like certain foods. Somehow people who embrace all foods carry with them sort of a pride, and I admit a bit of jealousy of them but have had to let that go. God has not graced me with the gift of those kinds of taste buds so I have to live with what I have. I assure you that I have vomited and gagged more times than I can count trying new foods!

Sorry if this is off topic. I just wanted to voice my two cents that it isn’t ALWAYS a child’s spoiled attitude that causes them to have an adverse reaction to foods, although manipulation can play a part!

I also think we live in a culture where there is so much available which puts pressure on parents. If you read in today’s parenting magazine’s they will tell you that you are a loser if your child is not eating 5 different meats, 5 different vegetables and 6 different varieties of fruits each day! I suppose I exaggerate but I think this is ridiculous. Most cultures through the history of the world did not have this kind of variety at their fingertips. I think there is a lot of pressure on parents to give their children a wide variety constantly. Let’s face it, even if your children live on peanut butter and carrot sticks for weeks they are eating better than most of the world’s population.

Bottom line: go ahead and give your children variety occasionally but I never worried if they liked or didn’t like stuff. I had children that LOVED everything and I had one child that was exactly like me. Hope this helps a little, God bless.

Amen! I agree totally

 

[3DOCTORS]

I know people like this. People who are extremely “picky” eaters really have a hard time in life in ways it is hard to imagine. It impacts their dating life, social life when it comes to parties, and they feel isolated. Someone I know only eats a handful of vegetables and certain meats. When they attend family events or parties they won’t touch salads or other foods and will only perhaps take a roll or slice of meat and find people commenting on their plate quite often. Kind of off-topic I suppose but perhaps a reminder that if we have been blessed by typical taste buds we should be grateful to God!

Yes, you most definitely should! As an adult picky eater myself I have gone through the embarrassment and anxiety so many times - and the tricks to avoid social situations where no “safe” foods will be available ("Thanks so much, but I just ate . . . " ) I have ADD and OCD - and some of my relatives have autism spectrum conditions - and I’m pretty sure I’m a “supertaster” - I have an aversion to bitter foods or overly sour foods. Vinegary foods are an entire category of disgusting to me. The one condiment I have learned to like is BBQ sauce - ketchup, mustard, mayonnaise, pickles - forget it! And textures, smells, and visual appearances play a large role as well.

I try very hard not to be a burden to anyone - I would rather quietly deal with my food issues rather than put anyone out - and all I ask of others is just that they don’t focus on it and try to force me to eat things that are difficult or impossible for me to deal with.

I believe kids should never be forced to try anything if they are genuinely upset at the prospect. There will be another opportunity perhaps - and that’s what I’d say to them. “Well, maybe some other time you might feel like trying it.” I understand the rationale parents have behind the “No-Thank-You Bite” but for a child with strong sensory aversions I think it is cruel to force that on them.

I highly recommend the article linked to. I’ve spoken with Mr. Bob Krause over the phone myself and he has done a great service for his fellow adult picky eaters by “coming out” publicly about the issue. God bless him! :yup: