Why do YOU use NFP to prevent conception?

[taye]

To those who disagree with the fact that NFP is a morally sound way to avoid pregnancy, please read the teachings of the Church. If a debate is what you would like, then there is another thread in the morality section that is for you. Please do not chastise those who use NFP licitly. I can understand that not everyone agrees with or wants to use NFP, but this thread is not about that.

In my case, as I stated earlier, I am dealing with emotional and exhaustion issues. I have come up with a list of “acceptable” alternatives to NFP in my case. Here they are:

1. I could choose to have sex as often as I’d like, getting pregnant once a year, risk serious burnout, which could turn to depression, then child abuse or worse (do not think for a second that you would never do that - we are sinners). Have you ever told yourself, I would never… Then you do it, and you are sooooo embarrassed!
2. I could choose complete abstinence. DH & I would really find this one difficult. It may lead us to sins of impurity and I refuse to even chance that risk. If complete abstinence is too difficult, we may also be tempted to use ABC. I understand that some couples choose this route, and this absolutely fine. I don’t think in our case that it would be helpful knowing that I am a 28 year old (healthy) woman who cannot have sex until menopause while “everyone else” gets to use ABC and not think twice about it. That wouldn’t make me feel good about being a Catholic. Also, sex is therapeutic for someone who stressed like me.
3. I could choose to have sex very seldom… But that kinda sounds like NFP to me… With my fertility, sex twice a month would result in getting pregnant 2-6 months after giving birth! LOL!

Are there any other options? I’m not seeing any? Oh… NFP!!

I have explained in my previous post that my heart is HEAVY because I would like another child. I do not need anyone telling me that I am guilty of a crime for following the Church’s teachings.

 

[BiologyBrain]

I was simply pointing out that I disagree with your thinking that abc doesn’t require the same agreement/communication that NFP requires. I elaborated a bit about the “team sport” aspect, b/c I do think NFP is often presented as method that requires great involvment of both husband and wife…trying to distuingish it from abc (…leading to statements like yours). From my experience, if NFP does distinguish itself from abc in this area, it is superficial at best.

–Rico

I disagree w/ you on this from experience. If I were on abc my husband would never consider not having relations with me. We would probably never discuss seriously having more children. He did not want children when we married and quite frequently brings up abc (condoms, hormonal, etc), but I’m educating him w/ NFP. We have serious discussions not only on the moral applications of NFP (he’s not Catholic or even Christian, so he doesn’t really care that much), but also on the physical applications of NFP. He realizes that for my body it is much healthier for me to just track my cycles & abstain from relations if we don’t want another child at the moment. However, he also knows it would be much easier and more satisfying if I would just accept abc like his previous girlfriends. In some ways, his abc mind-set has hampered our use of NFP b/c I can’t hardly get him to abstain. However, in other ways, this completely plays into my desires b/c I want children. However, since I believe in honesty and trying to educate him, I tell him when I have fertile signs. We discuss whether we can handle more children, etc. Otherwise, he would just have relations with me whenever w/ little or no thought. My husband often comments to me that its much harder to do NFP (even tho he really does nothing when we’re abstaining) than for me just to be on abc. That’s someone who’s experienced both sides of the coin speaking…

In other words, even with a not-so-willing husband, there is much more communication and/or ‘work’ going into NFP than to blindly take abc. If I took abc my husband would just take it for granted that we could have relations whenever. Plus the major ‘work’ that goes on w/ NFP is the work of abstaining! Both husband and wife have equal parts in the struggle for abstinence during fertile times (at least in my experience). Sometimes when we’re ‘supposed’ to be abstaining there’s nothing we’d like to do less! So we have to find other ways to express our needs and desires for one another in a way the other will understand.

 

[Rico_S]

I disagree w/ you on this from experience.

That is fine, I know everyone has different experiences.

Your experience is one of moving someone from away from an abc mentality toward an acceptance of NFP. Of course you have a hard battle ahead and communication is imperative. But it isn’t b/c of some intrinsic NFP quality that communication is so essential, it is becasue you are trying to practice NFP with a husband that doesn’t buy into it. If you had differing views on parenting, the same type of constant communication would be required…and it is not necessarily b/c of some intrinsic quality of your particular parenting style that requires/promotes it.

–Rico

 

[MomGisela]

We to use the nfp more then 20 years. Sex is not longer importent for me.
We planning complete abstinence after this baby, as long as my hubby to hold out.
Then nfp again.

 

[manualman]

The OP should realize that when he starts a post with words like “I want and I expect” regarding something as intimate as a couples serious reasons for postponing more kids, he is going to only get a limited response. The internet may be anonymous, but only to a limited degree.

It isn’t reasonable to expect people to reveal information that involves their spouse as well as themselves. Because of that, I caution everyone against concluding anything based on this thread.

In our lives, there are physical risks, emotional strains and financial worries. None of them can be taken apart from the others, it is all homogenized into something we call our family. We each have to honestly weigh that family situation, pray about it and listen for God’s response. You can’t define the line between serious and frivolous precisely. Sure, you can make fun example like can’t afford food vs. can’t afford Ferrari, but that isn’t really helpful, is it? It is no oversight that the definition of ‘serious reason’ is left vague in Humanae Vitae and subsequent publications. It doesn’t NEED to be precisely defined, the sacrifice of abstinance is the crucible test of your reason: it crumbles if it isn’t ‘serious.’

 

[yessisan]

I’d usually say it’s nobody’s business why anyone is avoiding… but everyone in the forums who knows me knows why… so…

medical: because I died and was resucitated at the ER when an undiscovered ectopic ruptured my tube. I can’t get pregnant until I’m healed from my surgery and until we know if my tube is open. Also, my dr advised us not to get pregnant until 3-6 months post-ectopic, and also to wait and see if my tube is open.

 

[Matt33]

The OP should realize that when he starts a post with words like “I want and I expect” regarding something as intimate as a couples serious reasons for postponing more kids, he is going to only get a limited response. The internet may be anonymous, but only to a limited degree.

It isn’t reasonable to expect people to reveal information that involves their spouse as well as themselves. Because of that, I caution everyone against concluding anything based on this thread.

In our lives, there are physical risks, emotional strains and financial worries. None of them can be taken apart from the others, it is all homogenized into something we call our family. We each have to honestly weigh that family situation, pray about it and listen for God’s response. You can’t define the line between serious and frivolous precisely. Sure, you can make fun example like can’t afford food vs. can’t afford Ferrari, but that isn’t really helpful, is it? It is no oversight that the definition of ‘serious reason’ is left vague in Humanae Vitae and subsequent publications. It doesn’t NEED to be precisely defined, the sacrifice of abstinance is the crucible test of your reason: it crumbles if it isn’t ‘serious.’

Actually I have found this thread to be quite helpful and void of any of the nasty fights that area on some other NFP threads. No one is forced to post and the answers have been fairly honest from what I can tell. Things are precicly defined based on what we all do. That is all it is supposed to be. A poll of concious. You may not like they way in which it was written and you are free to start a thread that you think better addresses the problem. However I have gotten much out of this and have been quite pleased with people following the “rules” laid out in the OP. Hopefully you understand the actual point of the ferarri example.

 

[mizznicole]

I guess our reasons would fall under A) Financial - no money to buy food. Yes, with DH’s job situation that has been some weeks. It amazed me how much food we used to waste when we could buy groceries whenever we wanted. We are now living with family. If we have to pay for a c-section out of pocket we will be bankrupt. Barring miracles of provision, of course.

I think there are many other families in our position. This economy has dealt many people a severe blow.