Why does God not provide family and protection?

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My children and I needed protection…my ex was even physically abusive after the divorce and we received no protection. Protection of our religious rights would have been nice. We needed and still need a competent attorney who will help us. Family, support group, and Spiritual Direction would have been nice.
 
I have spoken with attorneies and they say that the courts are not supposed to use religious beliefs to take children’s visitation. I have the court transcript. Everything hat was testified against me was about my religious practices. Teatimonies include that I teach my children sacramental marriage, I’m rigid cause I’m Catholic, I pretend to read the Bible, I dress up like a nun, I read bad gospel to my children… I don’t dressup like a nun, pretend to read the Bible and I read the Gospel and it is good.

Now we r going back to court and I have no attorney to help us and the opposing council is going with I’m a religious fanatic and crazy. I am neither but I don’t know how to object.
 
I feel sorry for what you are going through. I really am.

This (the abuse) looks like more of a police case, I mean you could make a police report if you have not done that. That would put your problem in the knowledge of the authority. You know, that kind of thing does help to some extent.

As for the court case, I am at a loss as to how you would get an attorney. However, it should not be too difficult to rebut charges that you are religious fanatic. How extreme can one be religious anyway? It is not a crime to read the Bible.
 
I have made numourous police reports and they take photographs of the damage but have never done anything. The police threatened to arrest me for following court orders because their dad said I was trespassing when dropping the kids off for custody exchange…the police have been less than helpful…they r good at taking photos I guess.

An appeal a court decision can cost $50k…seems only the rich can afford their rights. You only get 30 days to appeal and we are past that…so too bad no freedom or religion for us.
 
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If I did not already do that I would not be on this forum asking y’all. I have gone to every resource there is and they do not have assistance for us. Even Hopes Door and the other shelters only offer legal assistance to people who’s income is at or below poverty. Everyone else has to afford the $40k each time they go to court and I paid my attorney but she did not get us one foot into the court room…because that judge who ruled against us based on religion does not want to help us and refused to hear our case.
 
I’m sorry, but all of this stuff you are posting about attorneys and judges is way beyond the scope of anything this forum should be advising on. For all we know, there may be very good reasons why your attorney did what they did or why the judge ruled as they did. I realize that is not much comfort to the person such as yourself who didn’t get the outcome they wanted, but since we have no way of knowing details of the whole case, we have no idea how to evaluate or comment on what you are saying. We also should not be giving legal advice on this forum any more than we should be giving medical advice.

None of this is a Church matter. The Church does not get involved in court cases to which they themselves aren’t a party.

People here have already suggested a lot of resources you can contact, and you’ve pretty much said you’ve talked to all of them and they didn’t work out for some reason or another, or else they provided help but the outcome such as the visitation was not what you wanted.

This discussion is getting way beyond what Catholic Answers can or should be handling in terms of answering questions. We can pray for you and encourage you to keep contacting agencies and people who might help, but beyond that, we’re pretty much stuck for an answer.
 
  1. It’s public record
  2. I did not post about attorneies and judges and rules, I only responded to other”s posting questions about such things. Delete your post if you don’t thing it is appropriate but the thread is appropriate.
  3. if you don’t have anything helpful to say don’t say anything.
  4. don’t speak on behalf of everyone else as if you speak for everyone here…just because your post was not helpful does not mean others were not.
 
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tifischer said:
  1. if you don’t have anything helpful to say don’t say anything.
  2. don’t speak on behalf of everyone else as if you speak for everyone here…just because your post was not helpful does not mean others were not.
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You may not know this, but this forum has community moderation. We, the posters, are responsible for moderating and flagging and explaining and so forth when we think a post is either inappropriate or out of scope.

People here have been trying to give you good information, but I am saying that discussions of your court case are out of scope and not something we can or should advise on. Giving out legal or even quasi-legal advice on the Internet is not something people should do. It’s dangerous and wrong, just like giving out medical advice without a license is dangerous and wrong.

I get the impression you expected people to post things like 'Yes, that’s terrible, your Constitutional rights were violated" etc. Again I’m sorry if you didn’t get the response you wanted, but that’s no reason to get in a snit and accuse people of not saying anything “nice”. I have been very polite in my posts. The problem is that you don’t seem to want to hear it and take any kind of disagreement, or anything other than 100 percent sympathy, as hostile.

I’m sorry you are having trouble and I’m also sorry you can’t see how your own reactions may be inappropriate. Posting questions people can’t reasonably answer and then getting mad when they tell you that is not constructive though.

And as for “it’s public record”, surely you don’t expect people who aren’t in your state and may not even be in the USA to be looking up public records of your case? Especially when domestic violence court case records are often kept off the Internet for the protection of the parties involved. That is just not making any sense.
 
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Her posts were very polite and well thought out. There’s no need for you to get combative. And she’s right, no one here can or should be advising you on your legal issues.
 
Try asking people you know about lawyers. Lawyers get on lists without any vetting, so personal recommendations are a better way of finding a good one.

Are you working? Ask people at work. Even a married person might say that he or she knows someone who divorced and was happy with their lawyer.

The police should still have the records of when they visited you and the pictures they took. Ask them for copies.if you ever saw a doctor, get those records too.

In Texas, domesticshelters.org seems to be a state-wide organization with information about local help.

I knew someone who worked with foster teens, and she said one of the biggest problems was they were simply moved out into the world without any help or resources, where teens from families generally had education and transitional education (like how to manage a checking account), as well as a support and a home base, iow, resources to fall back on.

I am sorry you didn’t get those things.

One thing that is important: it is necessary sometimes to be rude and pushy to get what you need for yourself and your children. You call someone and they can’t help you, so ask if they can suggest someone else to call. Ask if their supervisor knows. Be a pain in the neck, because no one else will do that for you.

Also, sign up for therapy for you and your children. Catholic Charities will do this on a sliding scale (a real one), and dioceses are starting to have it available in different places, not just near the cathedral. If not thru CC, check out other places. This will be very helpful for you and your children.
 
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I am working and thank God for the job. I need addition work though because of these attorneies who have charged us and not helped us. If you know of anyone looking to hire a web developer or graphic artist please let me know. I specialize in ecommerce and online courses.

The kids are seeing a counselor who their dad choose who is not helping us. The counselor is nondenominational. The children’s dad and stepmom do not allow the children to call me mom and the counselor will not help them.

I do not know how to get past records into court…it’s not easy unless you have a good attorney.

I have never had psychological illness. I talk to a counselor at The Family Place, she is good for venting…that’s better than the interns at other places I have been.

Thank you for your suggestions.
 
Our Catholic Charities does not have assistance for domestic abuse.
 
It’s my fault actually, I asked you about the legal proceedings. I shouldn’t have done that. I do think you’re misunderstanding how the whole process goes but beyond that I’ll just say you need a lawyer. Try Legal Aid?
 
I can see that the children’s seeing two counselors would be tough, but if you ever get a chance, get them to a good one. Going along with not letting the children call you mom seems really bad.

Seeing a therapist is not just for those who have psychological problems but is also helpful for people who have been through or are going through difficult experiences. I am glad to hear you are seeing someone who can at least listen; hopefully she is able to help as well.

What you want is as much documentation as possible. Anyone in a contentious situation should have as many records as possible, including dated-- and written as close to the date-- notes about conversations and observations (John had a bruise on his arm {with picture} when he came home. Said he’d fallen down while skating. — ex said Mary becoming very sassy. << That sort of thing.) All these records are good to have in case they woul,d be helpful in a proceeding.
 
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Edited, sorry, I read the entire thread and some of your earlier threads.

WRT physical abuse, the police and spousal abuse experts need to deal with that, that is not for a public forum.

What you can do now is to move forward.

My advice, stop the verbal battles with your ex. He has different beliefs than you do. Do not say negative things about their dad to the children. That only hurts the kids. Wrapping up condemning their father as “teaching them about sacramental marriage” will result in driving your kids so far away from the Church the moment they are adults that they will likely leave skid marks.

Be light. Be love. You need to be full of joy, so much love and joy that your kids want what you have.

Try to end the combative nature of the exchanges with their dad.

In the future, perhaps use a neutral party to drop off/pick up the kids. Communicate through that neutral person.
 
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TheLittleLady said:
Wrapping up condemning their father as “teaching them about sacramental marriage” will result in driving your kids so far away from the Church the moment they are adults that they will likely leave skid marks
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Yup. They’ll associate the church’s teaching with a chaotic and combative time in their life and split as soon as possible.
 
No worries. There is nothing in the guidelines that says you cannot ask. Legal aid help support people in poverty. Thank you.
 
  1. But I didn’t not use sacramental teaching against their dad…we have an annulment…I sought the annulment and it was granted before we even went to court.
  2. my kids had no animosity toward their dad because of sacramental marriage teachings
 
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You can ask, but it’s not responsible for posters here, even lawyers, to give you legal advice without knowing all the facts of your situation.
 
If I got the help I needed from those places I would not post on this forum. Otherwise, abusers like it when their victims hide the truth…You have a lot of abuser support there. If a women is a victim of violence and needs help, there is nothing in the guidelines that says she may not ask for help.
 
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