Why does God not want me to get married?

[Kelfa28]

You’ll hate hearing this from so many people…but I’ll be another one to add to it.

You’re so young!!!

I didn’t find my first boyfriend until I was 22. The relationship didn’t work out…we dated for about a year.

I met my husband 2 years later…just before I turned 25. We dated for 3 years, got engaged and were married 9 months later when we were 28.

The wording you are using is fairly alarming. I was feeling hopeless too when I was around your age. I was depressed and unhappy. I went to counseling and it helped me immensely. I recommend it.

 

[LaughingBoy1503]

It has been said a lot already but hear it again… You are way too young to come to the conclusion that God does not want you to get married. 22? All of my friends have someone except me, and I am 29. I know it is frustrating when you are the only one of your peers who is single, but you (by that I mean myself too) try to get over it and do something about it. I have been coping with that for a couple years now, and that is what you try to do. Sometimes I don’t care if I am destined to never be married and sometimes I am so lonely I literally feel like crying. But I am a big tough construction worker, so I cant Through dates that never go past the first one and all the times I was not even given a chance. Try a Catholic dating site and don’t just wait for someone to message you. If you find a guy who interests you, message him first. The same goes in your everyday life. Know that you are not a lone in your frustrations though. God bless.

 

[erine]

I’m a few years older but I feel the same. I have prayed so. much. And nothing worked out yet in fact it seems pretty messed up. The one thing I have gotten is clarity on a vacation to marriage and not celibacy. So where is he? Lol

The thing is I just want to say that I don’t think there’s something wrong with being down during single life if you feel called to something more, and I don’t think you should feel like you have to “forget about finding a mate” or just somehow be perfectly happy without him. I mean living for myself is not as meaningful as for a family. And some people just really want a relationship and function best that way and it’s okay. Sorry but my life is focused on loving and being loved, which is difficult without a family. All my hobbies or young people events are not going to be as good as that.

Some people prefer people who have been down or sad before because maybe they relate better. Like personally I would never marry someone who was happy all the time because I would never relate. And men who have been sad because of difficult or tragic things I always feel closer to because of their compassion, and they to me. We are Christians and pain and weakness are okay, Christ suffered on the cross. I don’t really like the modern attitude of being perfect and happy and full of life of whatever before marriage. I wouldn’t want a man like that. I want someone who is real who has a good attitude towards pain and who wants to please God. That way when life gets hard as it does we both will not be shocked but strengthen our love. None of this modern attitude of if something doesn’t feel good it’s not good. But I am kind of old school romantic so I need someone I could die for and me him, and I don’t think that’s unrealistic. I’ve found that paradoxically when you have someone that understands human nature and suffering and that you will hurt each other, you end up having a lot more fun.

I would say, the person will show up simply when you are ready. I don’t think anyone fixed all their flaws before marriage. Everyone these days thinks you have to do that and you should work on yourself but people simply are scared of marriage and society is against it much of the time. It’s not because you have to make yourself ideal. I think God just makes you ready. Then marriage is for sanctifying each other.

I used to have a long list of qualities in a mate which was a good exercise but I later threw it away. It became an idol for me. Now my list is simply that I want certainty it’s the one Jesus wants me to marry. And that I find him hot. Lol. Sounds dumb but it’s faster to just ask Jesus what He wants.

There is no cookie cutter and the right match will like each other better with all their quirks.

Anyways praying for you. Pray for me too, I completely understand. Plenty of married couples will tell you how much they disliked being single. God will provide.

 

[CaliLobo]

Hey OP,
You’re not alone. I’m almost 33 and I feel like God doesn’t care about my happiness in the dating area, that’s why I turned agnostic (and I’ve posted a thread in this forum). You got 10 years on me, anything can happen in 10 years. I don’t know you, but you seem like a quality woman, what do you think is stopping you?

Be a fun-loving woman with an interesting life and a man will be attracted to that!

Personally I think women have it easier; they can just stand there and look attractive, and some man will approach them.

I know you might not like it, but men are visual and physical look does matter. Contrary to Christian rhetoric, I disagree that there’s something wrong with that; it is how men are created, and don’t tell me that women don’t care at all about how a man looks like! Aside from the initial attraction, it’s hard for a man to date and care for a woman who does not care for herself. (Not to say that different men like different types of physical looks!) Some men will waive physical appearance for a woman that is more spiritual, but that is the exception. After all, it is natural for a woman to want to be pretty.

Try online dating; women will get messages left and right from men online. So many that you’ll reject most of them. (As a corollary, guys get rejected a lot online.)

If you turn 33 like me and you’re still single, you’ll have to pray a little harder.

 

[1ke]

Maybe I’m just impatient, but I would like to finally meet a nice man. I’ve been single my whole life and now at 22

Gemma,

I did not meet my husband until I was 36. We married when I was 38. Yes, you will have to learn to be patient and to deal with whatever things are going on in your life. Work on you. Resolve issues. Find happiness in the things that you enjoy. Make a life for yourself. You will then be able to share it with someone if someone comes along.

I’m starting to get depression and can’t cope because I have nothing to live for. All my friends have partners and my Catholic friends are all happy.

a) Get treatment for your depression, because frankly thinking you have “nothing to live for” at 22 is disturbing. And it comes across as quite melodramatic and whiny when there are people in the world with serious issues, and also many people who did not meet spouses until they were very much older. Twenty two is super YOUNG. Your whole life is ahead of you. If you cannot see that, then you need professional help for depression. It isn’t normal.

b) You think your Catholic friends are happy. We never know what is going on in people’s lives.

c) If you think you need a boyfriend or husband to make you happy, you will be sadly disappointed when you get one and that does not happen. No one else can make your life better. That comes from within.

Get help.

Sometimes I don’t understand because I’m one of the few Catholics that actually are devout and follow the teachings of the church but I’m not happy.
I just want a reason to live. I want to love and be loved. what can I do?
I’ve tried the St Raphael prayer.

Get professional help. Stop thinking that finding a boyfriend will magically fix everything.

Does God want me to just suffer?

God does not want you to suffer.

 

[_Gemma]

Gemma,

I did not meet my husband until I was 36. We married when I was 38. Yes, you will have to learn to be patient and to deal with whatever things are going on in your life. Work on you. Resolve issues. Find happiness in the things that you enjoy. Make a life for yourself. You will then be able to share it with someone if someone comes along.

a) Get treatment for your depression, because frankly thinking you have “nothing to live for” at 22 is disturbing. And it comes across as quite melodramatic and whiny when there are people in the world with serious issues, and also many people who did not meet spouses until they were very much older. Twenty two is super YOUNG. Your whole life is ahead of you. If you cannot see that, then you need professional help for depression. It isn’t normal.

b) You think your Catholic friends are happy. We never know what is going on in people’s lives.

c) If you think you need a boyfriend or husband to make you happy, you will be sadly disappointed when you get one and that does not happen. No one else can make your life better. That comes from within.

Get help.

Get professional help. Stop thinking that finding a boyfriend will magically fix everything.

God does not want you to suffer.

By responding to everything with ‘get help’ you clearly have no idea about what I mean in this post. You have no idea that I have attempted to ‘get help’ many times in the past and that doesn’t work in this matter. stop assuming and if you can’t think of an appropriate answer then don’t reply to me on these forums. I come here for spiritual help from other Catholics and me ‘getting help’ and being put on medication (which is what will happen) is not what I’m after.
This is a spiritual issue for me, not a psychotic one.

 

[CaliLobo]

By responding to everything with ‘get help’ you clearly have no idea about what I mean in this post. You have no idea that I have attempted to ‘get help’ many times in the past and that doesn’t work in this matter. stop assuming and if you can’t think of an appropriate answer then don’t reply to me on these forums. I come here for spiritual help from other Catholics and me ‘getting help’ and being put on medication (which is what will happen) is not what I’m after.
This is a spiritual issue for me, not a psychotic one.

People are too eager here to recommend counseling and medication. I don’t recommend it at all unless it is necessary to prevent destruction (like further physical harm and criminal activity). It is expensive, and the medicines chemically alter your brain. They are hazardous and need to be taken for life. It’s an incomplete solution that only treats the symptoms and not the cause.

I feel your pain because I too want nothing more than to get married, and to love and be loved. I question the path my life has taken. Why is it so difficult for me, when everyone my age is already in a relationship?

Today I thought of her again, the near-perfect woman I lost in June. Ohhh, the pain and loss… :crying:

And I’m ten years older than you. You’re still a kid, but I’m getting old! I’m at the age where I can’t fool around, and I need to make some serious progress in this area! Oh, how I wish I want ten years back! But that’s the definition of youth–lack of wisdom…

At the risk of violating CAF rules, you may wish to re-examine the assumptions you have about God and your belief in him. After all, it’s a valid question–why doesn’t God provide for you in this area despite your faithfulness? Has God been good to you? How so? If not, why do you worship him? Should you find a different path instead? If you continue as a Catholic, why so?

Because I am not married yet, most of my friends are younger than me, down to your age. I relate better to younger people than people my age. Feel free to PM me if you want some advice on how to navigate the 20s.

 

[CaliLobo]

You said spiritual issue… I just saw your post history and I get it. Of course it’s about vocations…

As late as May you were considering consecrated life and thought marriage wasn’t for you! Was that just all written in frustration instead?

I think the problem is that… you’re just young and wrestling with different thoughts. Don’t worry, that is normal!

 

[dramaqueen]

Dear Gemma, i am in my 30 single and praying for a husband for past 4 years and trust me it feels like God has forgotten me and abandoned me and depression is my reality. i don’t want to make you feel bad but you are not a sole provider for your family, you do not live alone and i would urge you to stop wining and get a little real. Girl, perhaps you should live you life a little before you actually do get depressed and feel alone.

 

[dramaqueen]

It has been said a lot already but hear it again… You are way too young to come to the conclusion that God does not want you to get married. 22? All of my friends have someone except me, and I am 29. I know it is frustrating when you are the only one of your peers who is single, but you (by that I mean myself too) try to get over it and do something about it. I have been coping with that for a couple years now, and that is what you try to do. Sometimes I don’t care if I am destined to never be married and sometimes I am so lonely I literally feel like crying. But I am a big tough construction worker, so I cant Through dates that never go past the first one and all the times I was not even given a chance. Try a Catholic dating site and don’t just wait for someone to message you. If you find a guy who interests you, message him first. The same goes in your everyday life. Know that you are not a lone in your frustrations though. God bless.

there is a certain relief knowing that i am not the only one. i know how you feel. everyone around me is married, having children and I seem to be all alone. There are moments when i do cry and there are days when i don’t care. I am slowly trying to accept that men don’t notice me and don’t want me and trying to find peace in that fact as much as i can.

 

[1ke]

By responding to everything with ‘get help’ you clearly have no idea about what I mean in this post.

When a 22 year old says they are depressed and have nothing to live for, encouraging them to get professional help is a logical thing to do. Pardon me for not understanding your secret coded message, what else does one mean by these statements?

You have no idea that I have attempted to ‘get help’ many times in the past and that doesn’t work in this matter. stop assuming and if you can’t think of an appropriate answer then don’t reply to me on these forums.

I am not assuming, I am reading the words you wrote.

I am sorry you are struggling, and I want you to get better. Professional help for depression is nothing to be ashamed of.

I come here for spiritual help from other Catholics

I think you have some serious issues that need help IRL, not the internet. If you believe they are spiritual in nature, then a good, holy spiritual director is the next step. Please ask your pastor for a referral to a local spiritual director.

and me ‘getting help’ and being put on medication (which is what will happen) is not what I’m after.

That is your choice. But please don’t then post that you have nothing to live for. That is a serious statement and it needs to be addressed by a mental health professional.

This is a spiritual issue for me, not a psychotic one.

I did not say you are “psychotic”. You yourself said you were depressed. That is something that is treatable with the proper attention. If you believe it to be spiritual, then please seek a spiritual director to help you discern.

 

[JustALurker]

Here is something which I use to give me strength - it’s a message from Jesus:

Why you are confused and shaken when faced with problems of life? Leave the care of all your things to me and everything will get better. When you abandon yourself in me, everything will resolve with tranquility according to my will. Do not get desperate, do not direct a shaken prayer at me, as if you wanted to demand the fulfillment of your desires. Close the eyes of your soul and tell me calmly: Jesus, I trust in you.Avoid the preoccupations and anguishes and the thoughts of what he can happen next. Do not spoil my plans, wanting to impose your ideas on me. Let me be God and act with freedom. Abandon yourself confidently in me. Rest in me and leave your future in my hands. Tell me frequently: Jesus, I trust in you.What more damage does to you is your reasoning and your own ideas and to want to solve things your way. When you say to me: Jesus, I trust in you, do not be like the patient who asks his doctor to cure him, but he suggests the way to do it. Allow yourself to be carried in my divine arms; do not be afraid, I LOVE YOU. If you think things are getting worse or are complicated in spite of your prayers continue trusting. Close the eyes of your soul and trust. Continue saying to me at all times: Jesus, I trust in you. I need my hands to be free to be able to work. Do not tie me up with your useless preoccupations, Satan wants that: to agitate you, anguish you, to take away your Peace. Trust only in ME, abandon yourself in ME. So do not worry, throw all your anguishes at ME and sleep tranquilly. Always tell me: Jesus, I trust in you and you will see great miracles. I promise this to you because of my love for you.

I prefer to not post much, but I just had to comment here. This is an incredibly powerful and pertinent message. You said that this was a message from Jesus and I absolutely believe this to be true.

Gemma, I am a 26 year old single man who is in a very similar situation as you are. While God made it clear to me 1.5 years ago that I have a call to marriage, my dating life is a train-wreck and I have tried everything I can think of to force God to give me a spouse. I have tempted God by threatening to leave the Church, I have complained, hated and resented God. Often times I will end up begging God to make it clear to me that I will NEVER have a spouse just so that I can find peace and accept my lot in life. Each time this happens, I receive no sign one way or the other and this whole struggle repeats over and over again. This cycle is incredibly painful, and I can see how my faith in God could eventually be destroyed if I allow it to continue unchecked.

As was mentioned, we need to remember that this suffering is not coming from God but from Satan. It is Satan who manipulates our vision of the future to make our worst fears seem as though they are for sure going to come true. Unlike redemptive suffering that comes from God (which God then helps to make bearable by giving us graces), the suffering that you and I are experiencing is based out of our fear of the future. It is a simulated “cross” that is coming from the father of lies and there is no way that God can help us carry this cross because we are playing in Satan’s arena by entertaining such thoughts. While God does give us crosses, He ALWAYS gives us the tools we need to accept these crosses joyfully and it would never be His will for us to suffer in this manner.

Gemma, the answer to our prayers is Trust! We can trust that God is watching out for us and He is begging and pleading with us to allow Him to work His plan in our lives if only we could give Him the steering wheel! Please read and re-read that above message from Jesus. There is something profoundly soothing in AussieAngel’s words.

God bless!

 

[EasterJoy]

Over the years I have known several people who could have written your thread, who felt like you do. There are quite a few people who have posted similar sentiments on this forum, so basically I am trying to encourage you that you are not alone. Recently, perhaps last week, someone on here posted almost everyday a thread “praying for my future spouse”. Maybe you could look it up and get some further encouragement from them. But, one thing I know for sure, God does have a plan for you and no doubt a future spouse out there that you just have not met yet. Waiting on God’s timing is one of those most difficult things many of us do, I will pray for you to be patient with an open heart and that God reveals His plan for you soon. Hang in there.

Concern and feeling down when you want to get married and cannot find a likely candidate to marry is very common and totally normal. It is far better for our souls not to worry about the major aspects of one’s future, to do what is ours to do and let God do the worrying, but it is very normal to do our own worrying, anyway. It is not by accident that the Mass included the prayer “Deliver us, Lord, we pray, from every evil, graciously grant peace in our days, that, by the help of your mercy, we may be always free from sin and safe from all distress, as we await the blessed hope and the coming of our Savior, Jesus Christ.”

I am very concerned, however, with thoughts like “can’t cope because I have nothing to live for” and “but I’m not happy…I just want a reason to live.” Those are the kind of thoughts that can wear a very dangerous rut into a person’s inner dialogue. That kind of thought needs to be immediately and totally rejected. The idea that our life is our own to decide to live or not to live is from the devil. It is a prelude to the temptation to self-pity, self-centeredness, self-harm, and even suicide. When a person starts thinking that she has some choice other than to get up and face whatever it is that life throws at her, then her ship is taking on water in a big way.

The OP needs to either switch her noodle (as a relative used to say) with regards to thinking and talking like that–and she may just need to recognize that thought as the temptation it is in order to reject it–or else seek out help from someone who can help her do it. I mean to remind her: that is not just crazy talk; that is perilous talk. It is self-harming. The one who encourages that kind of inner dialogue is out to destroy you; those thoughts are not from the Holy Spirit, but encourage despair. Find a way to renounce them totally.

 

[blanc10]

I’m a 24 year old guy and I’m in the same boat. Just keep praying. I see you like St. Gemma? Pray to her and ask for help. I’ll pray for you!

 

[pilgrimjake]

Praying and ask what He wants from you is the best thing…who only wanted to be Jesus’ bride.

Vocational prayers are key at this point in your life. Find what God wants you to do in life, He may wish for you to live a celibate life. Talk to a priest about it and pray about it and God WILL tell you what he wants, I promise.:yup:

 

[ExLibris]

As a 22 year-old male, I can relate. I have never been in a romantic relationship nor had a female friend.

For the most part, I feel like I do a pretty good job of heeding the advice commonly given to people in my situation, especially the kind of advice given on places like Catholic Answers. “Just go to more [INSERT CATHOLIC EVENTS] and you’ll meet like-minded people.” From ages of 18-21, I did that. However, the past nine months have been different. I stopped going to Mass outside of the holy days of obligation. (I was only able to get away with this because my family is not made up of church-going Catholics.) The only Church activity I was involved in was a bible study group. Despite the beneficial spiritual growth I received during that little over three years of trying my best at piety, I still felt lonely which was difficult for me to admit. After all, we’re always told “you’re never alone when you’re with Christ” or “Christ’s love is all sufficient.” While that is no doubt true, I think that assumes “perfect” faith. For example, I know that to be true but I don’t feel it. At no point did I become an atheist or agnostic nor did I climb to my rooftop and curse God, just stopped regularly going to Mass. Truth be told I just didn’t feel like going out in public all that much and felt irritated in social situations, especially with apparently happy couples.

Over the past year, I just delve deeper into the “healthy” worldly distractions and coping mechanisms I thought would ease the pain. Double majored in two quantitative disciplines, worked multiple jobs, dieted, exercised, lost some weight, and tried my best to become more comfortable with the opposite sex. Recently, I started going to Mass and just plan to keep to myself for a while until I learn to cope with the bitterness. (A healthy, harmless bitterness I promise .)

I don’t post a lot but the original post struck a chord with me. It gets posted a lot but I think it’s worth harping on the fact that simply being Catholic is enough to make someone, especially a younger person, feel isolated. You want someone who doesn’t drink, smoke, consume illegal substances, defend pornography like it was their mother’s honor, treat cohabitation like a fact of life, or abortion like a human right? Be prepared for the long haul. Every condition necessarily reduces the probability of that person existing.

Hang in there, Gemma. You are not alone.

 

[EasterJoy]

As a 22 year-old male, I can relate. I have never been in a romantic relationship nor had a female friend.

For the most part, I feel like I do a pretty good job of heeding the advice commonly given to people in my situation, especially the kind of advice given on places like Catholic Answers. “Just go to more [INSERT CATHOLIC EVENTS] and you’ll meet like-minded people.” From ages of 18-21, I did that. However, the past nine months have been different. I stopped going to Mass outside of the holy days of obligation. (I was only able to get away with this because my family is not made up of church-going Catholics.) The only Church activity I was involved in was a bible study group. Despite the beneficial spiritual growth I received during that little over three years of trying my best at piety, I still felt lonely which was difficult for me to admit. After all, we’re always told “you’re never alone when you’re with Christ” or “Christ’s love is all sufficient.” While that is no doubt true, I think that assumes “perfect” faith. For example, I know that to be true but I don’t feel it. At no point did I become an atheist or agnostic nor did I climb to my rooftop and curse God, just stopped regularly going to Mass. Truth be told I just didn’t feel like going out in public all that much and felt irritated in social situations, especially with apparently happy couples.

Over the past year, I just delve deeper into the “healthy” worldly distractions and coping mechanisms I thought would ease the pain. Double majored in two quantitative disciplines, worked multiple jobs, dieted, exercised, lost some weight, and tried my best to become more comfortable with the opposite sex. Recently, I started going to Mass and just plan to keep to myself for a while until I learn to cope with the bitterness. (A healthy, harmless bitterness I promise .)

I don’t post a lot but the original post struck a chord with me. It gets posted a lot but I think it’s worth harping on the fact that simply being Catholic is enough to make someone, especially a younger person, feel isolated. You want someone who doesn’t drink, smoke, consume illegal substances, defend pornography like it was their mother’s honor, treat cohabitation like a fact of life, or abortion like a human right? Be prepared for the long haul. Every condition necessarily reduces the probability of that person existing.

Hang in there, Gemma. You are not alone.

Well, some kinds of bitterness are worse than others, but there isn’t really a “healthy” bitterness. The temptation to become bitter or to feel discouragement is totally understandable but your desire to get beyond those things is very wise. Rejecting bitterness is healthy!

The thing that some of the old folks here realize that the younger ones don’t is that there is a lot worse things than being lonely because you’re holding out for a good spouse. That worse thing is being lonely because you are holding out for a good spouse this time around…that is, because you have an ex-spouse out there somewhere who wasn’t capable or willing to live a valid marriage until death.

I have relatives who married for the first time after 30 and another who married for the first time after 40, and they don’t wish they have one of those failed “starter marriages” that their friends have. Do not give up looking for the right person!!

Those of you who are determined to marry a good person who will help you get to heaven are SO WISE!! You are going to be happier, even if you never marry, than someone who decided to quit caring about what God wants or about the welfare of your own soul. I’m not advocating for anyone getting self-righteous about assessing who is and is not good spouse material, but just saying that a) marriage to the wrong person is Hell on earth and b) marriage to the wrong person could make the road to the real everlasting Heaven a lot harder.

You who are more determined to please God than you are to please yourselves are doing well! You who believe that God knows more about what will make you happy in the eyes of forever than the World does are wise!! Keep it up!! Keep your eye on the prize!

 

[Starrsmother]

Well, some kinds of bitterness are worse than others, but there isn’t really a “healthy” bitterness. The temptation to become bitter or to feel discouragement is totally understandable but your desire to get beyond those things is very wise. Rejecting bitterness is healthy!

The thing that some of the old folks here realize that the younger ones don’t is that there is a lot worse things than being lonely because you’re holding out for a good spouse. That worse thing is being lonely because you are holding out for a good spouse this time around…that is, because you have an ex-spouse out there somewhere who wasn’t capable or willing to live a valid marriage until death.

I have relatives who married for the first time after 30 and another who married for the first time after 40, and they don’t wish they have one of those failed “starter marriages” that their friends have. Do not give up looking for the right person!!

Those of you who are determined to marry a good person who will help you get to heaven are SO WISE!! You are going to be happier, even if you never marry, than someone who decided to quit caring about what God wants or about the welfare of your own soul. I’m not advocating for anyone getting self-righteous about assessing who is and is not good spouse material, but just saying that a) marriage to the wrong person is Hell on earth and b) marriage to the wrong person could make the road to the real everlasting Heaven a lot harder.

You who are more determined to please God than you are to please yourselves are doing well! You who believe that God knows more about what will make you happy in the eyes of forever than the World does are wise!! Keep it up!! Keep your eye on the prize!

The truth is though that being Catholic certainly does NOT mean that you must only look for a person who doesn’t drink or smoke or even have a “past”. Many good people come through even something like co-habitation better at the end for having been forged in fire and converting from previous ways. The key is to pick your hills. There is seldom a person on earth that is a photo-copy of yourself. Even your best friend of the same sex usually isn’t. If you have certain preferences, then obviously you want to look at folks with those same preferences in place. But “perfect” is a pretty hard word for anyone to squeeze into.

 

[Allegra]

I’m sorry you are feeling lonely and depressed. I agree with other posters that you should see a doctor, because of the way you describe these feelings affecting your life. Depression is very serious and you should seek treatment if you really feel the way you say you feel. That being said, 22 is still very young and there is no reason to believe that God does not want you to get married. I didn’t meet the man I was supposed to marry until I was 27. You never know what God has in store for you. But right now, you should focus on finding God’s purpose for you at this moment.

 

[GraceUnderFire]

I’m in my 30s and still waiting. There are many people older than you who are still waiting. . .22 is not that old. People tell me that 30s is also “not that old” but as someone who wants to have children, it’s a real concern. I also don’t really know what else to do. I feel as if I’ve done everything that I could do and have just left it up to God. I pray that marriage is my vocation but I will accept if it is not. I think the key for all of us waiting is to just surrender and accept that nothing in your life is a surprise to God. He isn’t surprised that you are single at this moment. We just have to trust Him.