Why does it seem like so many Catholic mothers are stay-at-home moms?

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KendraDZ1902

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I don’t know many Catholic families. The ones I do know, I have met through RCIA and I feel a bit uncomfortable asking them these questions.
Why does it seem like a lot of Catholic Mothers are stay-at-home moms? Let me make it clear that I do not find anything wrong with stay-at-home moms. My mother was a stay at home mom until both me and my brother were in school. Just from reading things on this forum, it seems like a lot of moms here do stay at home. Is there a reason for that? IF I am blessed with children, I don’t plan on being a stay at home mom. Are Catholic mommys going to think bad of me for that? :o
 
If Catholic mommies think badly of you for going to work, then they’re going to have to spend some time in the confessional. 🙂

I don’t know if I can give a good answer to your actual question, though. I’m one because we can manage on one salary and childcare costs would essentially be my paycheck, but that has nothing to do with my faith. I believe raising my children is one of the best things I can do and I don’t (often) find myself thinking that since I’m not financially contributing to the household that I’m worth less, but I also don’t think that mamas who aren’t as stable (or who feel they need the outside work to stay sane) are “less mother” than I am, either.

Well, that was totally unhelpful. 🤷 😉
 
KendraDZ1902 said:
Just from reading things on this forum, it seems like a lot of moms here do stay at home.
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I think it’s the forum. Also, this depends on a particular social context. In many countries women don’t have the luxury not to work. The ability to make this choice is perhaps a developed world issue, not a religious question per se. Let’s not confuse that.
 
My mother works, my father stays at home with my little sister because he is unemployed. 🙂 not all. 🙂
 
I’m a stay at home mom, and I certainly don’t look down on any of my friends that work. I don’t think you have anything to worry about. I think if anyone DOES look down on you, the problem lies with them, not with you!
 
I don’t know why anyone would look down on you… it’s your life not theirs.

My mother stayed home with us and home-schooled us. I am a sitter/mother’s helper for most of the women with young ones in our parish. The reason why they stay home is because they want to be with their kids for their young years… There is really nothing more rewarding than knowing where your kids are and what they’re learning and everything! I don’t have kids but when I do I want to stay home with them. I have also watched children who’s parents work, and a lot of them just want more attention and they act out to get the attention. :\ It’s just what I’ve seen in the 10 years of babysitting I’ve done…

Pope JPII in Humanae Vitae “Marriage and conjugal love are by their nature ordained toward the procreation and education of children. Children are really the supreme gift of marriage and contribute in the highest degree to their parents’ welfare.” (8)
Even if you don’t stay home to home-school your children it’s great for them to know someone is waiting for them at home. (You may not have to invest in a house cleaner either.)
 
It’s because, right or wrong, (depending on the mom) they feel as if they are the only ones truly certified to teach their own children. It’s a very protective motherly thing.
 
“IF I am blessed with children, I don’t plan on being a stay at home mom.”

Keep an open mind about this, and bear in mind that little kids get sick a lot, especially in a group setting like daycare.

I wouldn’t make any major decisions categorically before having kids (i.e. I’m going to breastfeed 11.5 months, etc.). Leave some room for improvisation, as well as the unexpected (children with serious disabilities).
 
I think religious women might be more apt to have more traditional family situations, but certainly many Catholic moms do work. I stay home with my four kids. It’s hard and I do miss working, but my husband and I feel strongly about the kids not going to daycare. I also feel it’s important to be available to work in my kids’ classrooms, be ready to pick them up if they get sick, be able to drive to soccer practice and piano and dance and not miss awards ceremonies or plays, etc. We make it work on one income, and I make a small amount of money on the side doing a little bookkeeping from home. That’s why I stay home, and there are dozens of reasons other women do. I definitely do want to work again when my youngest flies the coop, but seeing as number five is arriving this summer and I’m in my mid 30s, the reality is that I will probably not be able to resume any sort of serious career work (I’m an RN.)
 
KendraDZ1902 said:
I don’t know many Catholic families. The ones I do know, I have met through RCIA and I feel a bit uncomfortable asking them these questions.
Why does it seem like a lot of Catholic Mothers are stay-at-home moms? Let me make it clear that I do not find anything wrong with stay-at-home moms. My mother was a stay at home mom until both me and my brother were in school. Just from reading things on this forum, it seems like a lot of moms here do stay at home. Is there a reason for that? IF I am blessed with children, I don’t plan on being a stay at home mom. Are Catholic mommys going to think bad of me for that? :o
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Maybe this is just a coincidence if you are observing this.

I am Catholic and i have to work.

It is pretty much a mother instinct to want to be a stay home mom no matter your religion or believes. Of course, other women prefer to have a career. Sometime with life, you don’t have choice then to work. If i would have been given a choice, i would have stayed with my child the first five years.

Blessings!
 
Armor_of_Light said:
Cuz we’re rich!!

Bwaahaahaahhahhhaaa!
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It’s amazing how many people think this! For me to stay at home wasn’t a luxury, we sacrificed so I could. :rolleyes:
Living off of one income, with one car in a two bedroom apartment isn’t quite what I’d call luxury!
But it’s what my husband and I felt was the right thing for our family to do - that’s not to say every family should work that way!

Peace,
  • PetiteFoi
 
I worked until the day my fourth child was born. I haven’t been able to afford to work since. I love staying home but there are still days that I miss working. I miss not being tied to the house all the time, making a little money for luxuries we can no longer afford, talking to other adults, friendships with coworkers, and a sense if independence. I definitely do not ever look down on a working mom. My mom worked, she raised 6 kids and 43 foster kids over the years. She is a terrific mom, grandma and great grandma. It really is a combination of personal choice and the circumstances life throws at you.
 
I can tell you why I was one for 15 years, and why I work night shift so I can still be as much of a SAHM as possible. God entrusted me with five unique, individual human souls. He has a plan for each one, and I am the guardian that is tasked with helping them discover it. Their father is equal to me in this, but with a different role. I carried them inside my body, under my heart, for nine months. I suffered pain and bodily damage to bring them out of my womb into the world. I nourished them from the substance of my own body for years after they were born. I am the Incarnation for them, and they are the Incarnation for me. I will have to make answer to God for my stewardship of his precious souls. Never in a million years would I want to say to Him, “I don’t know, you’ll have to ask the babysitter.” Besides, there is no substitute for the intensity of love and joy that comes from being truly connected with and strongly attached to my children, and connections like that take time, work, and nurturing.
 
KendraDZ1902 said:
I don’t know many Catholic families. The ones I do know, I have met through RCIA and I feel a bit uncomfortable asking them these questions.
Why does it seem like a lot of Catholic Mothers are stay-at-home moms? Let me make it clear that I do not find anything wrong with stay-at-home moms. My mother was a stay at home mom until both me and my brother were in school. Just from reading things on this forum, it seems like a lot of moms here do stay at home. Is there a reason for that? IF I am blessed with children, I don’t plan on being a stay at home mom. Are Catholic mommys going to think bad of me for that? :o
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If the percentage of SAHM’s is higher among Catholic families I imagine it has a lot to do with a combination of larger families, openness to and acceptance of motherhood from early on in the marriage and (dare I say it) a greater acceptance of “traditional marriage” and gender roles.
 
KendraDZ1902 said:
I don’t know many Catholic families. The ones I do know, I have met through RCIA and I feel a bit uncomfortable asking them these questions.
Why does it seem like a lot of Catholic Mothers are stay-at-home moms? Let me make it clear that I do not find anything wrong with stay-at-home moms. My mother was a stay at home mom until both me and my brother were in school. Just from reading things on this forum, it seems like a lot of moms here do stay at home. Is there a reason for that? IF I am blessed with children, I don’t plan on being a stay at home mom. Are Catholic mommys going to think bad of me for that? :o
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It must be where you live. I only know one SAHM who is Catholic. The rest are all non-Catholic…
 
ChibiViolet said:
It’s because, right or wrong, (depending on the mom) they feel as if they are the only ones truly certified to teach their own children. It’s a very protective motherly thing.
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Technically speaking, I would be certified to teach them until 4th grade.
I just want independent children. I will not always be there to hold their hand or to tell them what to do through life. I believe, that as a parent, you need to raise functioning adults.
Xantippe said:
“IF I am blessed with children, I don’t plan on being a stay at home mom.”

Keep an open mind about this, and bear in mind that little kids get sick a lot, especially in a group setting like daycare.

I wouldn’t make any major decisions categorically before having kids (i.e. I’m going to breastfeed 11.5 months, etc.). Leave some room for improvisation, as well as the unexpected (children with serious disabilities).
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Kids get sick due to low immune systems. It is proven that kids who grow up living in project housing (in nasty conditions) will be healthier than kids who’s hands are cleaned 100 times a day. Because they build up immunities. *I am all for washing hands, btw. *
I teach at a private children’s academy. My kids would go to that school (until kindergarten) There are other’s with kiddos there, if baby gets sick, mom and baby goes home. No biggie.
II have a serious A-type personality. I have to have an agenda on vacation. Kinda works being a teacher since I have to stick to a schedule. That being said, making life plans is a must for me. Yes, I know that it doesn’t always go as planned. Been there, done that. 🙂
SusanneT said:
If the percentage of SAHM’s is higher among Catholic families I imagine it has a lot to do with a combination of larger families, openness to and acceptance of motherhood from early on in the marriage and (dare I say it) a greater acceptance of “traditional marriage” and gender roles.
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Are you assuming that since I want to work, that I don’t have a traditional marriage or that I don’t know gender roles?
I teach. That is most definitely a women’s job, especially early childhood. My hubby is a military man. That is traditionally a man’s job. We know our gender roles. I grew up in the Deep South. Women cook and clean, men do yard work. 👍
 
“It is proven that kids who grow up living in project housing (in nasty conditions) will be healthier than kids who’s hands are cleaned 100 times a day. Because they build up immunities.”

I think you may be thinking of allergy issues. There have been a number of articles about how some dirt is good for preventing the development of allergies (so farm kids or kids with dogs at home have fewer allergies). What you want is a moderate immune response, rather than the hyper-vigilant allergic response.

I’ve been through the preschool petri dish experience, and it was really terrible. It was hardest on our infant at the time, who wound up hospitalized for a night in order to get rehydrated after getting rotavirus (his big sister who had brought it home “just” needed a few hours in ER). That was what it took for my husband to persuade me that preschool wasn’t worth it that year. We’d been less seriously sick for much of that year (our preschooler was missing at least one day a week due to illness), but the rotavirus was the last straw.

It is a pay-now-or-pay-later thing with germs, but the smaller children are, the more dangerous illnesses are for them. And since you are a teacher, your child will likely face two different germ sources (the kids in your class and the other kids at daycare). That is a lot of germs to be turning loose on one defenseless little baby who hasn’t even had all her shots yet.
 
I think whoever said it might have to do with the openness to a larger (than average) number of children, maybe onto something. Unless one is in a high paying job, after 2, especially 3, kids, daycare, combined with the price of gas, “work clothes” (which sometimes includes drycleaning costs), and the other “expenses” of working can use up an entire paycheck.

I guess I’m weird. I stay home, and it is a financial sacrifice and struggle, even though if I had stayed at my former job, we wouldn’t have been able to afford more than 2 kids because of daycare costs, but I have NO desire to return to work, any work. I know I was in the “wrong job” before, as I always hated it (I was a Probation officer), but I can’t think of ANY job or career I want to do, besides being a homemaker. And I don’t homeschool, 3 of my 5 that are at home are in school full time, and the 4 year old goes to preschool 9 hours a week, too. But I do not want to be out in the “working world” ever again.

In Christ,
Ellen
 
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