Why does Mom always forgive, but girlfriends/ wives don't?

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chevalier said:
I thought the wives were always right. You say it’s only usually? :confused:
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No, sometimes men who were raised perfectly well by their parents get married to self-centered wives who think that anyone who “really loves them” will always be doing what they want, when they want it, regardless of what it takes to give it to them. IOW, sometimes it is the little girl who was spoiled, and in that case of course she will hold a grudge when she has nothing to complain about! This is not her husband’s doing, nor her MILs!

When you marry, you’re each going to be wrong some of the time. While I always advise that married people apologize whenever they are wrong, even if they are not the MOST wrong of the two, I would never ever say that the wife is always right. May you, dear Chevalier, forever be preserved from marrying someone who is convinced that she is!
 
EasterJoy said:
No, sometimes men who were raised perfectly well by their parents get married to self-centered wives who think that anyone who “really loves them” will always be doing what they want, when they want it, regardless of what it takes to give it to them. IOW, sometimes it is the little girl who was spoiled, and in that case of course she will hold a grudge when she has nothing to complain about! This is not her husband’s doing, nor her MILs!

When you marry, you’re each going to be wrong some of the time. While I always advise that married people apologize whenever they are wrong, even if they are not the MOST wrong of the two, I would never ever say that the wife is always right. May you, dear Chevalier, forever be preserved from marrying someone who is convinced that she is!
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Eh I don’t know. I’m pretty sure I actually AM always right. About all things.
 
Perhaps I know better wives or worse mothers than the rest of you, but I would certainly not agree that mothers always forgive and wives do not.

I know wives who have forgiven the flat-out unforgivable, and I know mothers who have held grudges against their children for years. 😦
 
I had an awesome opportunity to forgive yesterday. My gentle husband cannot handle frustration well, and he started shouting at me and broke something useful by throwing it across the room. I decided to just be quiet and refrain from escalating. Later I asked if he would replace my useful item he busted. He said of course. That was the end of the matter for the time being. Maybe later we will finally have a reason to sit down together to listen to “Anger and Forgiveness” with Deacon Dr. Bob MacDonald, a Lighthouse CD we have been meaning to listen to for some time now. 😛
So wives can be very forgiving, whereas mothers might be disturbed by such displays. My thought in the heat of the moment last night was “yeah, we both have some anger and frustration issues we need to work on, with God’s help…”
Especially in Christian marriages, the Holy Spirit can often convict a wife of her own sins through observing her husband struggle with his own sins. I think wives forgive a lot. So do husbands. Moms have no dog in the fight usually, and no awareness either. So she has no reason to need to forgive. What wife runs off to MIL to tattle on her husband? 🤷
😃
 
Go and ask your dad how forgiving mom is. 😃

This subject was just in a book I was reading, The Sexual Paradox by Susan Pinker. It’s that darn oxytocin and left amygdala at work, man. Women have a larger neural network in the left hemisphere of their brains that they use to process emotional experiences. In men it is the opposite, they process emotion in a more automatic way in the right hemisphere. What that means is that women produce memories more quickly, more vividly, and with greater intensity than men. There are outliers in both groups, but on average women rate emotional memories as more immediate and intense than men. It really wouldn’t surprise any couple, but at least there is a biological basis as to why a big fight seems like it was just yesterday to her while he as forgotten it ever even happened.
 
TheRealJuliane said:
Yeah, we have to let them go…But still, the bottom line is…I brought him into this world.
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You and your husband (man…father…) brought them into the world.
Husbands / boyfriends forgive more easily than wives / girlfriends. We cut you guys way more slack for human frailty than typically we get in return.
 
Armor_of_Light said:
You and your husband (man…father…) brought them into the world.
Husbands / boyfriends forgive more easily than wives / girlfriends. We cut you guys way more slack for human frailty than typically we get in return.
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That darn plank getting in the way again?
 
EasterJoy said:
…I would never ever say that the wife is always right. May you, dear Chevalier, forever be preserved from marrying someone who is convinced that she is!
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Rule #1. The wife is always right.
Rule #2. If the wife is wrong, see rule #1.
 
KostyaJMJ said:
Go and ask your dad how forgiving mom is. 😃

This subject was just in a book I was reading, The Sexual Paradox by Susan Pinker. It’s that darn oxytocin and left amygdala at work, man. Women have a larger neural network in the left hemisphere of their brains that they use to process emotional experiences. In men it is the opposite, they process emotion in a more automatic way in the right hemisphere. What that means is that women produce memories more quickly, more vividly, and with greater intensity than men. There are outliers in both groups, but on average women rate emotional memories as more immediate and intense than men. It really wouldn’t surprise any couple, but at least there is a biological basis as to why a big fight seems like it was just yesterday to her while he as forgotten it ever even happened.
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Very interesting. I’m going to look for that book.
 
mommamaree said:
The one that makes it easier for us to identify the “larger” sins of others while being blinded to our own. It is a tricky plank…
😊
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Sound juicy…give me an example. I’m intrigued.

I do have a more coherent theory on the subject if you’d like to hear it.
 
I think it is because we women feel that is what you men owe us. You are supposed to be the rock and protect us and we feel betrayed when you don’t give us what we are entitled to. We don’t get hitched so you can hurt us and when you do you ruin our ideas of marriage.
 
BoomChickaWaWa said:
I think it is because we women feel that is what you men owe us. You are supposed to be the rock and protect us and we feel betrayed when you don’t give us what we are entitled to. We don’t get hitched so you can hurt us and when you do you ruin our ideas of marriage.
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Ouch. Talk about a plank!
Please tell me she is wrong.
 
miguel said:
Rule #1. The wife is always right.
Rule #2. If the wife is wrong, see rule #1.
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Life is really hard on people who are always right. I do not envy them.

We were all asked at a bridal shower to write down a rule for a happy marriage. My rule was, “If you’re wrong, apologize, even if you’re not the most wrong.” It works really well, because the one who is the most wrong sometimes has the most trouble admitting it. If you don’t have to be the most wrong in order to apologize, at least somebody is free to get the ball rolling. And yes, in our marriage we’ve had times when we were both wrong at the same time.

We got married a bit later in life, so maybe by the time we got married, all the perfect people had been snapped up. :rolleyes:
 
I gotta disagree with the OP. My wife is the most forgiving person I know and my mother will carry a grudge for years!!!
 
BoomChickaWaWa said:
I think it is because we women feel that is what you men owe us. You are supposed to be the rock and protect us and we feel betrayed when you don’t give us what we are entitled to. We don’t get hitched so you can hurt us and when you do you ruin our ideas of marriage.
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So that’s it !!
We don’t call ya PRINCESS enuf, or give u special delivery of dozen longstem Reds every week ?
 
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