Why does this bother me? (Modesty/Lust)

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ModernCatholic said:
No not specifically but I was hoping for something I could do myself since innapropriately dressed women (and men!) Will always exist. But I don’t want to be so spiritually damaged by every small instance.
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If you can be spiritually damaged because a clothed bottom enters your field of vision, I’m going to have to suggest that the ladies aren’t the one with the problem.

It sounds like you’re regarding these women as sexual objects, not as people. Start there?
 
You might consider viewing these women not according to how they dress but as sisters. That might help you, psychologically, to see them in familial terms and resolve some of the inner-conflict you are feeling. In fact, you might consider actually addressing them as “Sister.” Who knows? They might even begin to see you as “Brother.”
 
I would avoid having a job or anything that obligates me to go into situations like that but my hands are not tied.
 
The problem was that certain women were wearing immodest clothes not women in general.
It’s not a problem for me fortunately.
 
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blackforest said:
I’m trying to give up sugar. But I’m not going to waste my energy by shifting the blame and getting mad at people for placing vending machines and Coca Cola ads in my plain view. I have to work through this on my own.
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This what you said above is the voice of a mature adult with no psychological issues speaking.
The world is always going to put dozens of opportunities in your path to choose between sin and acting right.
We are called to see the humanity of people and not be overly focused on how they are dressed, whether the issue is modesty or poverty or a complete lack of fashion sense.
If I couldn’t do this while going about my normal day, then the problem would be with me, not with other people.
 
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Not sure exactly how you might broach the subject. Just find a nice place to sit and have “the talk.” Maybe something like this delivered in a 1600’s New England accent…

“Good day, O Sister, thou doest much mischief in thy flaunting garb, and destroyeth all virtue in my sight through the wiles of immodesty; yea, though we men be not animals, rather made after the image of the Almighty; we beg of thee to refrain from thy temptings for which thing thou art worthy of a good scolding. All men cry out against thee, like dogs, their eyes pursue thee, and all the followers of modesty are made thy enemies; but I will make peace between them and thee, O sister, O she-wolf of Gomorra, O roaming spirit of the desert, if so be thou no more offending the eyes of the holy ones and covereth thyself up, guarding thy virtues and thy dignity, they shall forgive thee all thy past offences, and we shall howl against thee no more.”


Ok, let’s roll the credits on this thread. 😎
 
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I don’t think women can understand how strong sex drive is in healthy young men, and how visual it is. It would be like me trying to understand the sexuality of a woman. It’s just not happening.

My worries aren’t that practicing Catholic men are finding it a bit challenging, it’s how women will be viewed by men in general, and how women are encouraged to behave.

Bottom line is that the more sexy a woman dresses the more men are going to view her as a sexual object. Feminists can demand respect all they want and march in slut walk parades, but it doesn’t change biology. The fact that women have slut walks shows me that they just can’t understand what the average young man is experiencing. It’s not a blame game, or an excuse, it’s just reality.
 
What word?

Edit: If you’re referring to Slut Walk, it’s the name feminists give to the protest march. I don’t find it appealing either.
 
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That is a slur that has no place on a Catholic forum. Please, for the sake of all reading this, remove that word.
 
Attraction is not lust. There are a lot of attractive people in the world it doesn’t mean you want to sleep with them just because you find them to be attractive!
 
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ModernCatholic said:
… I respect these women more then they respect themselves which is why it pains me so much.
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Saint Thomas Aquinas wrote that immodesty which is not a deliberate attempt to provoke lust can arise from vainglory, or self-indulgence, or imprudence. Also a person can reasonably dress sexually, without sin, as long as still showing some sense. Errors in dressing are excessive or deficient regard for clothes.
 
It would be a shock if women could wear some kind of virtual reality glasses that helped her see how men are so very visual,wear them out and about
and view the world as it is now for a healthy young man.
What a wake up call that would be…
 
This is excellent advice. A man I loved very much and found very attractive asked me to marry him. Unfortunately, he found he could not in good conscience go through the Catholic annulment process and I wasn’t going to leave the Catholic Church so I gave his ring back.

He wanted to remain friends and do things together friends would do and I thought to myself that only if I was able to do so without impure thought would I do so.

We made a pact that we would from that day to evermore be brothers and sisters in Christ. Doing so helped me end any impure thoughts I ever had again… We remain good friend 7 years later!~

I hope the OP will try your advice, it works wonders thinking of someone as a sibling in your mind!~ God bless.
 
ModernCatholic said:
The second question was merely explaining some weird thoughts which, not by my own choosing, enter into my head whenever I see innapropriate clothing. I was wondering if there is a way to remove those thoughts.
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I’m not sure that this will work for a sight issue, but it certainly works for hearing! Maybe you can adapt and adopt it for your case. I used to be really bothered by the sound people chewing. I don’t know why. I couldn’t get past it, and it was really annoying. I read St. Terese’s autobiography and it turns out that she actually had a similar situation with the tapping noise the nun beside her during prayers always made. She solved the problem like this: instead of trying to ignore the sound (which was impossible), she listened to it and thought of it as music. She then offered the little “concert” up to Jesus as a gift for Him.
 
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