I was wondering about this question the other day. I know that God is perfect, and thus what he creates is perfect, yet I was wondering why many people are born with abnormalities? Why do some people get born deformed?
I am pretty sure that it is not the cause of God, but that he just lets it happen.
This should be the same thing for diseases I suppose, he doesn’t cause them, but might let it happen as well.
I tend to be more confused when it comes to people being born like this though and don’t really know as to why.
I recently had a neighbor who has a 2 yr old boy who has cancer. He believes in God and he, his wife, his older son, and his 2 yr old son are all happy and all examples to me on how to live as a happy, healthy family full of faith.
I wish I was half as happy as he or any of his family. I don’t know how he does it (actually I do).
I don’t know God’s mind. I grew up in an alcoholic family where physical and emotional abuse were dished out by the minute or by the hour. Sexual abuse got thrown in there as well. Emotional neglect. Even emotional incest as I got older. All I know is that I was able to (mostly) work through that pain and suffering, despite living a nightmare on a daily basis. Ostricised by society as a child because I didn’t know how to act or behave, extremely withdrawn to the point of almost becoming mute. Did I ‘deserve’ it. I don’t think so, expecially since it goes back to my earliest memories at the age of 2.
I don’t blame God. I used to blame my parents. Then I hated them. Then I hated the world. I was the embodiment of hate and used alcohol and marijuana in efforts to escape the pain. I did so because even though I felt like I needed help I could not trust people, I was afraid of people. All of them. I felt like the entire human race was against me and literally out ot get me, to harm me, or waiting to do me harm. I was in the constant fight or flight syndrome, like a little fawn beng circled by a pack of lions. This is how I felt every moment of every day, how I thought, especially if I had a place to go where people would be, or was in a place where people were. An objective person would view the situations as just life, social situations with no reason to be afraid. This was my life, moment to moment, day by day, year by year, for a very long time. To some extent it still is (much much less though).
Now I work with individuals who have extreme emotional and psychological, as well as the external sufferings that go hand and hand with these things. Poverty, homelessness, etc. I have the uniuqe ability to connect with and gain the trust of people and to help people who grow up and live in the worst of circumstances. I am able to use my past experiences to do God’s work. I am greatful for that. It gives me purpose and even makes me feel special sometimes. It makes me feel good a lot of the time. And I get a lot of complements from those I work with about how good I am at my job, how helpful I am to them. This makes me feel good and I like it and gives me purpose in life.
I am also blessed with a wife and son. Up until my mid 30’s I was resigned to the fact that I would be single for the rest of my life, laying down with strange women as I was too afraid to connect on any type of an emotional level so I choose to have one night stands and live in sin that way. I was proud of that and bragged about it. Until I fell in love. In an instant all of that past I was proud of in and instant became unimportant and seen as a waste.
Life is complicated. I don’t have many answers. I turn to God and Jesus Christ for help and guidance now and that is working for me.
We each have our own story. Many are much more tragic than mine. I do not know why. I have asked ‘why’ and cried ‘why me’ in prayer many times. What I know for sure, deep down in my heart and soul, is that my life is significantly better since I have resolved to live my life according to the Catholic Faith and recently begun that journey. And I have reaped great internal rewards in the lessening of sufferng and burdens that I never thought would leave me, severe anxiety that afflicted me every moment of every day. I was amazed that even 1 hour of a day would be free from anxiety. Now many days, for part or even most of the day are mostly anxiety free since I have turned go God and Jesus for help.
I hope others find the relief that I have found. To feel calm, to feel peace, is such a blessing to me. I think many people take it for granted. To me it is wonderful.
I am not seeking the answers to the universe, I am not seeking to know God’s mind. I am seeking to be a good Catholic, a good father (another thing I am blessed with, I am a GREAT father which is an amazing thing given the way I was rasied. I get to experience the joy of spending time with my son and I think it is a million times more rewarding than it is for a man or woman who grew up ‘normal’, without knowing the horrors of being raised in a nightmare family. I think one smile from my son to me is probably as rewarding to me as a million smiles are to the average father who never experienced the terror I did when I was a child.
So there is an upside to everything. The love and bond that I have with my baby boy is a million times sweeter I think that the love and bond of a father who had the love and bond as a child with his own father.
Maybe my childhood was actually a blessing so that I may share a healthy, caring, loving bond with my own son and show him love and how proud I am for him doing all the regular things babies do like hold their own bottle, etc. My heart is practially jumping out of my chest with joy right now as I think about it, as I think about his smile.
It takes the meaning behind the saying “It is better to have love and lost, than to have never loved at all” to a level I can not even describe.
I am truely, truely, blessed. Thank you sooo much God!
