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Monica4316
Guest
if the Holy Spirit guides us, than how can it be that God has left us?
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chromatica
Guest
i am like two people Monica4316. i believe. i doubt. i have times where i trust nothing. i have times where i can’t see the world as real. all is imagined. today is better. accept i did not go to Mass. i have times where i am sure God is in the world. i do better at Mass. today i believe God might be there.
i thank you for your posts.
St Faustina is one of those things Catholics believe. i don’t. i think she imagined.
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Monica4316
Guest
:hug1: I don’t know why this happens to you, but I’m sure God understands and doesn’t blame you for things you can’t control.
may I ask why? But - you don’t have to answer, if you don’t want to.i thank you for your posts.
God bless.
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ready
Guest
CORRECTION of prior post of mine:
God hasn’t left us. He’s alive in His Church. Maybe we don’t see Him in the way the world operates but He’s alive in His Church and is present in the Blessed Sacrament, the in the 7 Sacraments, the reading of the Sacred Scripture, in the priest, in the sick, in the poor and in the holy Catholic Church as a sacrament herself. Jesus Christ left the earth so he could send us the Spirit of Truth (the Holy Spirit) but He never really left us, as He remains present to us in our churches in the Blessed Sacrament.
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chromatica
Guest
i don’t know why i should believe what St Faustina writes. this is the novena i was praying. i pray for two days. i don’t believe that Jesus pops in says hi bring sinners to Me. i think St. Faustina wants this. maybe it is real to her. it is not real to me.
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ready
Guest
Maybe Jesus just has to touch your life in a very special and meaningful way for you to believe He’s merciful and only wants the conversion of sinners and spoke this message to someone as little as St. Faustina. Just keep little and trusting in God and God will speak to you like He did for St. Faustina. Maybe he won’t have you spread your message from Him around the whole world, but it will be real to you and you’ll grow in holiness as a child of God because of it.
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chromatica
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ready, i know you are right. every one says this. i know they are right.
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ready
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That’s good. I’m glad. When you have doubts tell them to the Lord and to others so your questions all can be anwered for you.
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chromatica
Guest
i wake up this morning and Mary is there. her small statue is in my room. i say hi Mary i am glad you are here. a Crucifix is in my room. i ignore it. i don’t talk to Jesus. i feel that i am angry and don’t want to talk. i should go to confession. it is only one day a week. i did not go saturday. i don’t want to talk to God. i feel angry when i think about God. i did not go to mass. mass without communion is good for prayers. i don’t want to talk to God.
from before i was Catholic i would read that God is love. God is mercy. God is a lot of things. i believe these things about other people. not me. not really. i am praying the divine mercy prayers. what it says makes me so angry on the inside. and so painful. i don’t want to hear God wants me. or God loves me. i spend since then trying to get rid of this pain. i try every thing. the only thing that works is to ignore God. i ignore God today. the pain i feel for weeks goes away.
i can not think about God wants me. it hurts too much.
from before i was Catholic i would read that God is love. God is mercy. God is a lot of things. i believe these things about other people. not me. not really. i am praying the divine mercy prayers. what it says makes me so angry on the inside. and so painful. i don’t want to hear God wants me. or God loves me. i spend since then trying to get rid of this pain. i try every thing. the only thing that works is to ignore God. i ignore God today. the pain i feel for weeks goes away.
i can not think about God wants me. it hurts too much.
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ready
Guest
Wow! You are going through a trial meant to make you grow, chromatica. And God will give you all the time you need to heal from your pain. But I do believe he wants you to try and understand your pain so you can get past it and be happy with Him in a bond of love. He’s your Father and He created you and sustains you in life. You can breathe because of Him. If he did not love you, he never would have brought you to life. Why does it hurt you so much to think of God or to be close to Him, please tell me. Did someone hurt you or do you think God is somehow unfair or unjust?
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chromatica
Guest
i do not know. there is a wall. it has always been there. i do not know why. nom the wise says get help. ha. i have been there. there is no help. i learn to live with who i am. enough hours with psychology to notice things about my self. some times it takes a while for me to see. i did not notice i was angry until today. when i did not want to talk to Jesus. the divine mercy novena i could not read after two days. if you put it in front of me i would not read it. i wanted to burn it. not read it. i see today i am angry. i know how to let anger go. i know next time to think about this again.
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ready
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O.k., you are angry at God and you don’t know why, but you still believe He exists, right?
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ready
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In Mother Theresa’s life she experienced such utter darkness for the longest period of time. She felt abandoned by God and even doubted his existence. But she still went to the sacraments for her spiritual food and taught her sisters the Way of Christ, as though she wasn’t suffering from the utter darkness. Just before she died it appeared the darkness lifted. You, like St. Mother Theresa, might have a long road of darkness to battle with. But you can still practice your faith and keep talking to God asking for His help. I don’t understand what is causing this anger you feel, it could be subconscious anger. But you love Goodness, Beauty and Truth, right? If you do, you do love Jesus because He is Love and Truth.
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HeWillProvide
Guest
How do you know God hasn’t “done” anything? How do you know that “things” wouldn’t be 1,000 times worse than they are now if He had not stepped in all throughout time? Just because we do not know what He has done does not mean He hasn’t done anything. The world would probably have self-destructed years ago if God hadn’t repeatedly stepped in. And you and I would probably be who-knows-where if He hadn’t stepped in repeatedly in our lives.
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HeWillProvide
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I picture Satan rubbing his hands gleefully while reading this; he wants you to be mad at God and angry with Him and think God doesn’t love you. He wants you to despair and give up.
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chromatica
Guest
i know God before i am Catholic. when i am young people tell me God loves me when i am good. i remember one thing. at a church. i do not know what kind. not Catholic. i am young. a man can hold me still. i remember being held by hands around me tight. a man taking from me like men do. hand me to the next man. same thing. i do not remember past that. psychology says maybe it happens many times. maybe not. i do not know. i do not remember faces. i remember they say God wants me to be good and they speak for God. tell me i am good to be held tight and be silent. i remember being young. i want to be good for God. i stopped believing in this God who wanted me to be good. i learn about God from Catholics. they tell me God loves me when i am not good. i think i do not know this God very well yet. i try. at times this other God mixes me up.
i work on this with psychology. i have many things in my head that are crossed. i masturbate since i am very young to images in my head of being tied. tortured. used. i do not know what this is until i am 18 or 19. i read about masturbation and think ok this is what i do. i find this when i am older by men who like this very much. i allow men to use me in ways people here do not think exists. i like this very much.i hunger for it. i need it. i hate myself for not being a good person. there is a God that being good is pain. being held tight and staying silent. there is another that being good is different. some kind of love that does not include having my self taken from me. but still there is pain in there that this God wants from me. this is painful to think of this. God who is tortured, held tight by nails, and dies and says He wants me. it hurts too much. i get angry at God. at times i do not know which God i am angry at.
this time i am angry at both i think. one for being there the other for not.
J
j2c99
Guest
EDIT: “If you have nothing good to say, don’t say anything.”
OP, please talk to a spiritual adviser. God does exist.
OP, please talk to a spiritual adviser. God does exist.
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ready
Guest
chromatica,
When Jesus was dying on the cross His Father had to let it happen so we all could have our sins forgiven. It appeared to others in the crowd that Jesus’ Father did nothing and didn’t care and it even appeared that Jesus was not God because He died such a terrible death. But Jesus was ressurected on the third day. We too in this life can suffer like God doesn’t appear to exist or appear to care what is going on, when actually He is feeling our pain with us and is working to the utmost to help us work out our salvation. In this life we all must bear the cross and suffer. With the fall of our first parents sin entered into the world and changed our paradise into a place of exile and toil. But at least when we die we will receive our just reward for all our patient suffering born lovingly for God and the Kingdom. (What I mean by the Kingdom is the souls who will benefit by our patiently and lovingly suffering for them and their conversions.) So when you suffer this anger, talk to Jesus about it and ask Him to reveal to you why you are angry. You are probably disappointed in Him and angry because you feel He may not be living up to his promises and who he is. But chromatica, Jesus is a King who died with a crown of thorns on His head and His body scourged with the markings of hatred from men. But he suffered all this so that we all might find new life in Him, life eternal. We will leave this place we call home, which is not our true home, but a place of trial and suffering where we prove our love for God by obeying the commandments He gave us and by placing our trust in Him. Let us just be abandoned to his will, confident that He knows what he is doing for us and keep working at our relationship with Him and working on our salvation.
When Jesus was dying on the cross His Father had to let it happen so we all could have our sins forgiven. It appeared to others in the crowd that Jesus’ Father did nothing and didn’t care and it even appeared that Jesus was not God because He died such a terrible death. But Jesus was ressurected on the third day. We too in this life can suffer like God doesn’t appear to exist or appear to care what is going on, when actually He is feeling our pain with us and is working to the utmost to help us work out our salvation. In this life we all must bear the cross and suffer. With the fall of our first parents sin entered into the world and changed our paradise into a place of exile and toil. But at least when we die we will receive our just reward for all our patient suffering born lovingly for God and the Kingdom. (What I mean by the Kingdom is the souls who will benefit by our patiently and lovingly suffering for them and their conversions.) So when you suffer this anger, talk to Jesus about it and ask Him to reveal to you why you are angry. You are probably disappointed in Him and angry because you feel He may not be living up to his promises and who he is. But chromatica, Jesus is a King who died with a crown of thorns on His head and His body scourged with the markings of hatred from men. But he suffered all this so that we all might find new life in Him, life eternal. We will leave this place we call home, which is not our true home, but a place of trial and suffering where we prove our love for God by obeying the commandments He gave us and by placing our trust in Him. Let us just be abandoned to his will, confident that He knows what he is doing for us and keep working at our relationship with Him and working on our salvation.
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ready
Guest
It sounds like you were abused at an early age and you have repressed the painful memory. In my last post I wasn’t aware of this and gave you recommendations that did not include my knowledge of this situation. I will pray about this and get back in touch with you. One thing you should do is talk with a priest you can trust.
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ready
Guest
I know of a person who was abused by a cult at an early age and it wasn’'t until later in her life that she got flashbacks. She’s o.k. now, praise God, but went through a trial like yourself I’m sure. You need healing, chromatica. These evil men have hurt you and you are suffering. Don’t masterbate. That will keep you in chains. Talk with a good holy priest. He can help you. I will pray for you and promise you that Jesus knows your pain and wants you well. If I can help in any way, let me know.
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