Why has the divorce rate increased so much in 40 years?

  • Thread starter Thread starter Journeyman
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
J

Journeyman

Guest
Why has the divorce rate gone up so much since the 1960’s? When I listen to Catholic radio or EWTN, it seems to be that artificial birth control is the root of the problem.

But secular sources have said there are other reasons, namely the large increase of women in the work force have allowed women to be not as dependent on men and therefore more likely to leave an unhappy marriage. The same women in the work force might also lead to more work related romances involving married workers and also lead to more divorces.

Another secular reason I have heard is the feminist movement has caused, again, women to become less dependent on men and therefore get out of unhappy marriages.

Is it possible that prior to the 1960’s there were a lot of unhappy marriages and the wives just felt trapped in the marriages but changes in the work force and the feminist view led to an easier way out, that way being divorce?

What do you think? Are the reports of the higher divorce rates, unmarried women with kids, etc… because of artificial birth control as Catholic sources report or is it closer to what the secular media might report? I told some friends of the Catholic position and they scoffed!! They think it is ridiculous to blame ABC. I need help to support the Catholic position!!
 
There are many factors has caused to unhappy marriage.

Many people already experienced sex before marriage. When married, they can go back to your old habits. Abstinence is the key. There is book called Pure Love as it is in Catholic Answers catalog. It is very good book and well explained.

Other factor to this is how committed is the spouse to another spouse. I have seen that some spouses complains and are negative about other spouse. It can be harmful, spouses should be very supportive of another.

Morality in America is declining and it is another factor to this. It is pro-sexual society which approves of hard core pornography, adult web sites all over, etc etc…

America is now ungodly country, made me wonder that “GOD BLESS AMERICA” is approperiate quotation of this current times?
 
I wish I could help you out, but having come from a protestant family I have a somewhat different perspective. The married couples in my extended family took their marriage vows very seriously. After all, they had made a vow before God to stick it out through good times and bad. They understood that life is not a bed of roses, there will be bad times, you will go through unhappy times, even in the best of marriages. Divorce simply wasn’t an option. This is what I was taught growing up and has helped me through 34 years of marriage.

I think that now people feel that they have a right to be happy all of the time, and if not, you bail out!

I do think that AFB is one factor in so many failed marriages, along with the general liberalizing of the churches, as even protestant churches forbad it until sometime in the 1900’s. Some protestant churches also forbad divorce. Now the Catholic church grants annulments just about as easily. Prior to VII the Church was very committed to and supportive of large families. Annulments were extremely rare and I don’t remember there being lots of unhappy couples trapped in miserable marriages. Now I do know lots of unhappy divorced people, still fighting with their ex-spouses.
 
I think the reason the divorce rate is so high is do PRIMARILY to the decrease in moral standards in our society, with things such as pornography and smut on T.V. Men and women have a warped sense of what love is and do not live to the standards that the Lord set for us. I think that the increase in birth control, women working, and divorce being easier are all symptoms of the decrease in moral standards. People think sex is love, and when the sex goes bad, so does the love. Just look at the television shows to see what our society thinks relationships are all about. Pretty sad:tsktsk: .
 
40.png
krazykatlady:
Now I do know lots of unhappy divorced people, still fighting with their ex-spouses.
Click to expand...
Such a good point!

My Mother is Catholic- better than that she is Irish and Catholic. My Father is nothing, probably would claim Church of England, but actually doesn’t believe in God, despite having converted to Catholicism. He left her 4 years ago for someone my age (30).

I just think there is no stigma attached to divorce anymore and the society we live in is consumer based- if you don’t like what you’ve got, you chuck it away and buy a new one. Commitment and working at things doesn’t happen so much. I am a practising Catholic and so is my wife, we’ve been married for 9 years and have 4 children and are so very happy- we both have similar expectations and basic beliefs. I love her more and more every day and have absolute commitment to my marriage.
 
40.png
firemnbob:
I think the reason the divorce rate is so high is do PRIMARILY to the decrease in moral standards in our society, with things such as pornography and smut on T.V. Men and women have a warped sense of what love is and do not live to the standards that the Lord set for us. I think that the increase in birth control, women working, and divorce being easier are all symptoms of the decrease in moral standards. People think sex is love, and when the sex goes bad, so does the love. Just look at the television shows to see what our society thinks relationships are all about. Pretty sad:tsktsk: .
Click to expand...
:amen:
 
Not sure, but, it seems the more we distance ourselves from God and his church in our attempts to go our own way and do and have it our own way, the more we screw it up… and the sin of Pride won’t let us back up and dare say we can’t do it alone… i fear the sin of pride more than any other… that leads to the blasphemy against the Holy Ghost (the only unpardonable sin), you know, you can’t be forgiven the sin you don’t ask forgiveness for… and i see more and more people turning away from saving graces offered by the sacrament of reconcilliation… You can’t do it or go it alone people, we need each other to get there…
 
I think there is more divorce because society not longer considers this a bad thing. Our courts make it easy, the media promotes it and our churchs in the past have failed to stress the meaning of this sacrament. Churches are responding to the need for change and there are now many marriage support and enrichment groups trying to help build strong and lasting unions, but we also need change in the laws governing divorce. Divorce should never be easy! It destroys families and weakens society. Unfortunately we have witnesssed far too many divorces among our friends. Often we see the reason for the divorce is self centeredness. Our friends fail to forgive, forget and pray for better marriages. We need to teach our children that marriage is a gift from God so that future generations can turn this trend arround.
 
Another big factor is culture condoning sex outside of marriage, leading to many people being misformed in their values.
 
Dr. Janet Smith cites several reasons for the increase in divorce. You can read the full article at transcript and study guide**Contraception: Why Not **.

First, she cites the research of social scientist Robert Michael, who concluded “that as the contraceptive pill became more and more available, divorce became more and more popular.” In fact, Michael attributed “45 percent of this increase [in divorce] to increased use of contraceptives.”

There are three reasons, according to Michael. First, his statistical data showed “that those who use contraceptives have fewer children and have them later in marriage…those who have the first baby in the first two years of marriage and another baby in the next couple years of marriage, have a much longer lasting marriage than those who don’t.”

Secondly, Michael found that “since contraceptives have arrived on the scene, there is much more adultery than there was before.” Observes Dr. Smith: “People have been tempted, for the history of mankind. It’s easy enough to think about wanting to have an affair but wanting a child out of wedlock is another story. But if most every woman is contracepting, then most every woman is available in a certain sense and there is no real reason to say no. Adultery is absolutely devastating to marriages.”

The third explanation, according to Micheal, is contraception facilitates creating a society where "women are financially more independent. They do have fewer children. They do go into the work place. And, again, when they have difficulties in the marriage, it’s much [easier] to say, ‘Take a walk,’ than it is to work it out because they need their husband for one fewer reasons than they did before.”

Dr. Smith also says that widespread pre-marital sex and cohabitation has contributed to the increase in divorce. Obviously, those who fornicate often use some type of contraception, and, if that fails, they can always have the unborn child killed through abortion. Premarital cohabitation is also a clear warning sign; such marriages are more likely to fail.

The sexual involvement before marriage, facilitated by contraceptives, also has damaging consequences in another way. In an age where 87% of college students are sexually active, Dr. Smith makes this point:
And I think all this sexual activity before marriage is not good for marriage. Most people have been lied to at some point. Most people have made promises and broken those promises, and had promises made to them and those promises have been broken. And they’re marrying someone who has lied and made promises and had promises broken, and they don’t trust each other quite as much. They don’t even trust themselves quite as much. “I’ve said these things before, I’ve made these commitments before-can I keep them? He’s said these things before, he’s made these commitments before-can he keep them?”
Click to expand...
Have you recently known a young couple who kept themselves pure before marriage, and now has a faithful marriage that is open to live? I do. What strikes me about such couples is their sense of joy, and their calm assuredness in each other. It is really a joyful experience to be in their presence.
 
I can’t speak for anywhere but America, but I really do think that it’s the spread of the “no-fault” divorce standard throughout the country. Now, no longer needing to show…well…anything, divorce is much easier to obtain!

Peace,
Fred
 
It’s a combination of contraception & couples having sex before marriage creating all the divorces.

Today there is a 50% divorce rate. Those who were chaste until marriage have only a 2% divorce rate. Those who were chaste at least 2 years before they were married have a 5% divorce rate.

It’s not rocket science - Sex before Marriage inhibits a couple from really getting to know each other before marriage.
 
It really is a combination of factors but ABC is one of the root causes and here is why I think so.

First, it used to be that it was practical to get married before having sex. After all, casual sex wasn’t just frowned upon, it had REAL CONSEQUENCES. You were not just agreeing to a recreational activity (as it is seen by some today) you were agreeing to have children with someone. Would most people marry today if they had not agreed to have children with that person? Today sex CAN have no visible consequences because of contraceptives and “protection”. If you can control the pregnancy and VD aspects of it, then you are free to have sex with anyone you want, whenever the opportunity arises. It also reduces sex in the minds of some as an activity that can freely be shared without remorse simply because it is “not really hurting anyone”. After all, there is no consequence … right? (I am not saying I like the logic, but I know plenty that hold to it) … The bottom line is that sex in our society is now removed from marriage and ABC is the core reason why.

Now, consider the single man with a secular Seinfeld-esque lifestyle. He can have the milk without paying for the cow. He moves in with a girl to maximize the proximity of the milk source. He then does everything he thinks she wants him to do in order to NOT interrupt the source. They live together for 5 years and she wants to get married ala the American dream. He bolts because he was getting everything he wants from marriage without any of the hassle. Also the threat of divorce and what it can do financially to one spuse or the other is further minimizing even the desire to get married. Practically speaking, marriage is looking more and more like a bum deal. Why risk a messy divorce and children when you can live with someone and have sex any time you want.

I think this division of sex from marraige is what led to our current abortion laws, no fault divorce and the whole nine yards. The sexual revoultion was fueled by the idea of free sex with no consequences. My wife has even met a girl who is PLANNING a divorce when the fuzzies go away because her parents did so and they seem happy. Failure to see the choice to have sex as anything less than a choice tied to the possibility of having children has consequences.

Really though, there is nothing new under the sun save the advent of new and easier ways to get around doing things His way. When we invent a better way to sin, especially by removing most of the visible consequences, more people will gladly make every excuse to partake of it with the simple conclusion that “we are not hurting anyone, so it isn’t wrong”. Then we are left with the spiritual consequences and we see the visible results indirectly with bad marriages and higher divorce rates.
 
40.png
krazykatlady:
I think that now people feel that they have a right to be happy all of the time, and if not, you bail out!
Click to expand...
I think this one hits it right on the head. People simply aren’t as stubborn as they used to be.

That shouldn’t obscure the fact that a lot of marriages that end in divorce should end in divorce.
 
40.png
weunice:
It really is a combination of factors but ABC is one of the root causes and here is why I think so.

First, it used to be that it was practical to get married before having sex. After all, casual sex wasn’t just frowned upon, it had REAL CONSEQUENCES. You were not just agreeing to a recreational activity (as it is seen by some today) you were agreeing to have children with someone. Would most people marry today if they had not agreed to have children with that person? Today sex CAN have no visible consequences because of contraceptives and “protection”. If you can control the pregnancy and VD aspects of it, then you are free to have sex with anyone you want, whenever the opportunity arises. It also reduces sex in the minds of some as an activity that can freely be shared without remorse simply because it is “not really hurting anyone”. After all, there is no consequence … right? (I am not saying I like the logic, but I know plenty that hold to it) … The bottom line is that sex in our society is now removed from marriage and ABC is the core reason why. .
Click to expand...
I disagree. This does not explain the statistics in post # 12.

all.org/a2z-c.htm
 
Because today everyone expects happily every after. No one is willing to go thru the bad times which are part of all marriages. Now they just walk away.
 
I totally think the Divorce rate has gone up due to a complete confusion of roles within the marriage. Men are incompetent wimps and women are “picking up the ball” for the men, and wearing the pants in the family. We have all gotten totally off track as to what God’s roles are for the family, i.e., men are to BE the providers, protectors and spiritual leaders, and women ARE TO raise the children and keep the home. Period. Deviances from this WILL always cause chaos, and numerous excuses thus avail, leading to the chaos in the home. There is no other explanation.

We all NEED desperately to get back in touch with the proper roles for men and women!!!
 
40.png
cmom:
Because today everyone expects happily every after. No one is willing to go thru the bad times which are part of all marriages. Now they just walk away.
Click to expand...
So true.

The culture of Hedonism that is coming to dominate a lot of our culture expects pleasure at all times with no responsibility to truly love others.
 
40.png
ProLifeAction:
I disagree. This does not explain the statistics in post # 12.

all.org/a2z-c.htm
Click to expand...
Actually it is very much in-line with the statistics in post #12. Those who value sex for its purpose would remain chaste. Those who divide sex from marriage have little incentive to remain chaste before marriage.

ABC reduces the physical “consequences” of the sexual act. I would maintain that pre-marital sex has INCREASED because of ABC which flows right into your divorce is increased in couples who have pre-marital sex statistics. I don’t disagree with your statistics at all. I just think that ABC is closer to the root of the problem. Its a contraceptive mindset. To keep with the statistics theme, according to:

domestic-church.com/CONTENT.DCC/19980101/VNDCTN/NFP.HTM

“the divorce rate among couples using NFP was less than 1%”
 
All the answers here are part and parcel of the problem. It is partly due to:
the accessibility of birth control, abortion and no-fault divorce.

The view by the secular world that the family unit really doesn’t matter. (Sally can be just as happy with two mommies or two daddies or a mommy alone as she can be with a mommy and a daddy)

Another aspect is that living together before marriage is just a bad idea, plain and simple. According to a Rutgers University study on marriage, couples who live together before marriage are **48% more likely ** to divorce than couples that don’t. Part of the problem is that the pretext for living together (e.g., try-out for marriage, easier on us financially, etc…) really lowers the commitment value. The couple knows going in that one can walk away without any problem. Couples then take this lowered sense of commitment into the marriage with them. Additionally, because sex is such an incredible bonding act, people who live together tend to overlook the faults of their partner, especially if the sex is ‘good’. Once they get married and the ‘honeymoon’ aspect wears off, those same faults are (surprise) still there!
At our Pre-Cana program we ask our couples (especially those who are living togther) to abstain from sex until their wedding night so as to make them get to know their fiance(e) on a non-sexual, more intimate level. (The looks we get are sometimes priceless . :D.)
We also share these statistics:
    • approximately half of new marriages today end up in divorce
    • that number drops to 1 in 50 if the couple attends church once a week.
    • the number drops to 1 in 1,150 if the couple goes to church and reads scripture.
    We then say that it sure is worth an investment of at least one hour a week (1/168th of a week) to help keep your marriage together.
    I also think that, as was stated above in many of the posts, the world is a place where the disposable is valued. Unfortunately, marriage now falls into that category since there’s no stgima attached to divorce.

    The Peace of the Risen Lord be with you all!
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top