Why has the divorce rate increased so much in 40 years?

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“I, (Name),
Take you, (Name),
To be my (wife/husband);
To have and to hold,
From this day forward,
For better, for worse,
For richer, for poorer,
In sickness and in health,
To love and to cherish,
'Till death do us part.”

Why is there so much divorce? Because now people want the better, the richer, the health, and the love. But in the event of the worse, the poorer, or the sickness, we’re outta here. And “till death”, seems an unreasonably long time.

JimG
 
Out of my seven siblings. My brother is the only one who left the Church married in a non Catholic in a non Catholic church. He and his wife were active members of a Babtist Church. He is divorced.

In comparision the rest of us married within our faith. Have stayed active practicing Catholics. Raised our children Catholic. Non of the rest of us are divorced or even having troubled marriages.

:hmmm: Ya, think there is something to our Catholic teachings about love, commitment, and marriage???😉
 
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sparkle:
Yes, but Count, don’t that you see that birth control and pre-marital sex IS a breakdown in values??? There needs to be right and wrong. I’m thankful for the Catechism!!!

I’ve found that the ONLY church that dares to speak up for morality and against bending and swaying with the world is the RCC.

Did you know that Protestantism was formed on the basis that it meets the world’s expectations in each generation. It changes with the times, it gives MAN the sole authority to determine his life, what he wants to do, it claims he has the power to determine, not God. How sad indeed~~~~

The last Protestant church I was in, heard a sermon by the minister actually supporting divorce, “let’s be compassionate, be understanding, meet the person where they are”, etc. etc." sickening…Why didn’t he have the guts to say “Divorce is totally and completely unacceptable to God”?..I’ll never know. And then I know of a couple who are both elders, not married and live together. Nothing is done about it. Shoved under the rug.

Pitiful!

I Love the Catholic Church. It dares to teach the Truth.
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It’s a breakdown in religious values yes… but it is not so much a breakdown in marriage relationship values. There’s too many happy long time married couples that have used contraceptives and premarital sex to prove that it’s the reason for the high divorce rate.

But you did bring up an interesting point. Most Protestants who claim to know and love Christ don’t seem to do much to follow his message which is sad. Ever since coming back to the church (from Agnosticism) I can’t wait to move down to Orlando and start Catholic charity work and stuff, then again that might just be me.

Besides most Protestant’s have great intentions, but isn’t the road to hell paved with good intentions? I find it odd how self centered most P.Stant religions are, from their doctrines on up.
 
Smoke Boy:
Bernadette,

Where did you find these statistics? According to Tom Hoopes recent article in Crisis Magazine (July/August 2004 - Breaking Vows When Faithful Catholics Divorce) his investigation turned up no evidence as to where those NFP numbers came from. In fact, Judy Parejko, author of *Stolen Vows, *according to the same article, says she is skeptical about such claims.
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This is from the couple to couple league international website. Check this link.

ccli.org/nfp/divorce.shtml

This may or may not answer your question, but it does give SOME validity.

Bob
 
Check out the Prevatican II teachings about marriage. Then check out Post VII.

Before:

Marriage is about procreation and children

After:
Subtle change added that it is for the happiness of the couple.
 
In giftfoundation.org/totb_overview_article.htm Christopher West’s Theology of the Body, he explains there is a “scriptural reflection on the human experience of embodiment connected as it is with erotic desire and our longing for union.”

And that, " God wanted to make his mystery visible to us so he stamped a sign of it into our bodies by creating us as male and female in his own image (Gn 1:27)."

Then, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh” (Gn 2:23). That is to say, “Finally, a person I can love.” How did he know that she too was a person called to love? Her naked body revealed the mystery!"

So I take it to mean we were meant to love and we mess it up by not being male and female in the full sense of the word and also by using ABC to disrupt this natural love.
 
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buffalo:
Check out the Prevatican II teachings about marriage. Then check out Post VII.

Before:

Marriage is about procreation and children

After:
Subtle change added that it is for the happiness of the couple.
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23 (continued) The love, then, of which We are speaking is not that based on the passing lust of the moment nor does it consist in pleasing words only, but in the deep attachment of the heart which is expressed in action, since love is proved by deeds. This outward expression of love in the home demands not only mutual help but must go further; must have as its primary purpose that man and wife help each other day by day in forming and perfecting themselves in the interior life, so that through their partnership in life they may advance ever more and more in virtue, and above all that they may grow in true love toward God and their neighbor, on which indeed “dependeth the whole Law and the Prophets.” For all men of every condition, in whatever honorable walk of life they may be, can and ought to imitate that most perfect example of holiness placed before man by God, namely Christ Our Lord, and by God’s grace to arrive at the summit of perfection, as is proved by the example set us of many saints.
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  1. This mutual molding of husband and wife, this determined effort to perfect each other, can in a very real sense, as the Roman Catechism teaches, be said to be the chief reason and purpose of matrimony,** provided matrimony be looked at not in the restricted sense as instituted for the proper conception and education of the child, but more widely as the blending of life as a whole and the mutual interchange and sharing thereof.**
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Pius XI, Casti Connubii
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December 31, 1930
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'Fraid not. And it was said before 1930 as well.

John
 
The answers may be in here.

LETTER TO THE BISHOPS OF THE CATHOLIC CHURCH
ON THE COLLABORATION OF MEN AND WOMEN
IN THE CHURCH AND IN THE WORLD

The Sovereign Pontiff John Paul II, in the Audience granted to the undersigned Cardinal Prefect, approved the present Letter, adopted in the Ordinary Session of this Congregation, and ordered its publication.

Rome, from the Offices of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, May 31, 2004, the Feast of the Visitation of the Blessed Virgin Mary.
  • Joseph Card. Ratzinger*
    Prefect*
  • Angelo Amato, SDB
    Titular Archbishop of Sila*
    Secretary*
 
Oh my, so many things. I think it is mainly an issue of selfishness in one way or another-and- too much time on our hands. I hear a lot about people “finding themselves”, maybe if more focus was on finding God than finding self- there would be less divorce.

My mother told me to find the person who helps to bring you closer to God, that THAT is what marriage was about- bringing your spouse closer to God.

My husband and I are best friends too, we both have other friends, but I think we benefit from being “homebodies” or at least being together as much as we can–lots of my friends have “best friends” other than their spouse- when they are excited about something, or hurt by something- they confide in the best friend, share with the best friend–instead of their spouse.

People seem to have very little “family time” and not a result of working too much, but, b/c the spouses both need to take seperate trips to the gym, the kids have practices when they should be sitting down to dinner as a family, etc.

Family means little to nothing, as evidenced by ABC and abortion. Babies and children are not valued as they should be, and everyone is out to make themselves “happier” instead of trying to make others happier. How many marriages could be saved if the spouses were actually told that it was their job to make their spouse happy, and to bring them closer to God?

I’m rambling, sorry- I think there are so many factors, the main one being selfishness.

Patty
 
My husband and I do marriage preparation and from time to time we go for continuing education. At the last one we attended some interesting information was given on a shift in the way marriage is looked at by couples and how that has affected the incidence of divorce. In previous generations marriage was seen as an aid to survival - that it was difficult to survive on one’s own, particularly in a low tech environment. If you had a farm you need a family to help you with the crops. Even in an industrialized age, with low wages it took at least two if not more to make it. In the twentieth century the view of marriage started to shift away from survival to fulfillment. Couples started to expect their mate to fulfill them and make them happy. Also with people being more educated and able to survive alone, if my mate does not fulfill me then divorce becomes more attractive. I thought that was pretty interesting.
 
SOME factors to the divorce rate are, it’s no longer socially acceptable for a wife to be her husband’s punching bag, also spouses don’t have to put up with a philandering spouse. like they used to.
 
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firemnbob:
I think the reason the divorce rate is so high is do PRIMARILY to the decrease in moral standards in our society, with things such as pornography and smut on T.V. Men and women have a warped sense of what love is and do not live to the standards that the Lord set for us. I think that the increase in birth control, women working, and divorce being easier are all symptoms of the decrease in moral standards. People think sex is love, and when the sex goes bad, so does the love. Just look at the television shows to see what our society thinks relationships are all about. Pretty sad:tsktsk: .
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I agree so did not select any of your choices do to the fact that the promiscuity and all the media attention that it receives I believe is the answer, also missing the lack of faith and watered down teachings of our faith.
 
I feel a generation gap coming on. Growing up in the 50’s, I didn’t know anybody who was divorced. None of my friends parents were divorced. No one in the neighborhood was divorced. No one in my school had divorced parents. There were no single parents. I did hear once about someone having a “half-brother,” and for the life of me I could not figure out what that might be.

It was assumed that if you got married it was for life, so you’d better be serious. In the military a barracks buddy got a girl pregnant. She was the daughter of a master-sergeant. They had a talk. He married the girl. Some 25 years later at our reunion, they were still married.

As KrazyKatLady said in Post #3, Divorce simply wasn’t an option.

What does “till death do us part” mean except “till death do us part.”

When did we decide that love is only temporary?

JimG
 
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JimG:
I feel a generation gap coming on. Growing up in the 50’s, I didn’t know anybody who was divorced. None of my friends parents were divorced. No one in the neighborhood was divorced. No one in my school had divorced parents. There were no single parents. I did hear once about someone having a “half-brother,” and for the life of me I could not figure out what that might be. It was assumed that if you got married it was for life, so you’d better be serious. In the military a barracks buddy got a girl pregnant. She was the daughter of a master-sergeant. They had a talk. He married the girl. Some 25 years later at our reunion, they were still married.As KrazyKatLady said in Post #3, Divorce simply wasn’t an option.What does “till death do us part” mean except “till death do us part.” When did we decide that love is only temporary?
JimG
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JimG: Do you contribute to the Family Life forums? Is this the same JimG?

Divorce is a reality because folks are not following the Word of the Lord. Not following God’s Best for all our Lives, Not following alot of things. Period. If we all were, there would be no divorce. We promise to God to stick to it, thick and thin. I Lord knows, there has been tons of “thick” in my live. But we must all hold to our Promise. Think of our children–that Divorce ruins them–utterly and completely. The breaking apart of homes and marriage literally destroys them, destroys people, self-esteem, etc. It is NOT a good thing, nor the answer to our many problems.

Please friends, think clearly, think again, before you even consider Divorce. It is ugly. It is miserable. It tears apart that which God put together.
 
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sparkle:
JimG: Do you contribute to the Family Life forums? Is this the same JimG?
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The only Forums I post in are the Catholic Answers Forums. So if it’s* this * Family Life Forum, it’s me; if not, it’s somebody else.
 
as to why people who use NFP allegedly have low divorce rates…probably true but doesn’t necessarily mean the marriage is happy or healthy. People who use NFP tend to be extremely religious, and thus opposed to divorce in any circumstance. So even if the marriage is terrible, they won’t split up because it violates their religious beliefs, whereas more secular people would split up. I think it is a strong religious background that is the best glue for a marriage. But it’s not perfect protection. I know of a couple who don’t use birth control, are very devout, active in Opus Dei, and the husband beats his wife. It is obvious the horrid effects the abuse is having on her psyche and the minds and hearts of their many children. I’m not saying that all NFP’ers all OD’ers or conservative Catholics in general are abusive husbands - this lout is the exception, not the rule. But I just wanted to point out that using NFP and being an orthodox Catholic doesn’t mean your marriage will be healthy. IN their case, I honestly think they should seperate - she needs to get her children away from him!
 
I think the divorce rate has increased because society is more secular, divorce is not a stigma, divorce is easy to get, and we don’t tolerate abuse like we used to. I also think people these days have unrealistic and naive notions of what marrige is supposed to be. It’s all about finding your soul mate, the one and only person who can fulfill everything for you. Which is completely stupid, there are many people you can be happy with - relationships are what you make of them. and even the best spouse won’t fulfill everything about you - only God can. But too many people don’t realize this and when their spouse turns out to be imperfect they dump him or her, since he or she obviously wasn’t their “soulmate”
 
Many good points have been made here.👍

When my wife and I took our marriage vows we actually meant them. Divorce is not an option. As soon as you start wondering if you should get out, your mind closes to creative ways to solve problems and lusts for escape.👋

Also I think feminism is a big factor. Feminists have gone from “equal opportunity” to “baby you don’t need a man” to “if you can’t make it without a man you are not a real woman.” Funny thing, one ultimate feminist who is consider a “great woman in her own right” is Hillary Clinton, who would be unheard of if she hadn’t ridden her husband’s coattails.:ehh:

Another issue is that PROFESSIONAL COUNSELORS ADVOCATE DIVORCE.:bigyikes:

Years ago, my wife saw a Licensed Clinical Social Worker about some issues that had nothing to do with marital problems at all. Within 30 minutes of the time they introduced themselves to each other, the LCSW concluded that her “problems” must have been with ME, and she recommended a divorce.:nope:

I paid this woman $80 for an hour of counseling for my wife to be told she should divorce me!:crying:

This woman knew nothing of our marriage, but got my wife to complain about some of my habits. Voila! There’s your problem that is leading to your psychiatric symptoms! She did not ask whether we actually took our marriage vows seriously. Note that the counselor herself was divorced, and was happy about it.:banghead:

Alan
 
I think it was Charlton Heston who said that the Declaration of Independence guarantees us “life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.” It doesn’t guarantee happiness, just the right to pursue it. That is a very important distinction. And yes, as someone posted way up there, people nowadays believe they have a right to happiness all the time.

I was thumbing through a tabloid in the grocery store today and I noticed a reference to an interview Barbara Walters had with Bing Crosby before his death, where he said if his daughter lived with a man outside of marriage, he’d disown her. Well, as you probably guessed, his daughter did shack up with a man after Bing went to the 19th Hole in the sky. But I’m old enough to remember when it was a big scandal to co-habitate or have a kid out of wedlock, especially if you were from a “good family.”

My vote for the cause of the divorce boom?—1) the Sexual Revolution, 2) Our Disposable Culture.
 
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