S
stpurl
Guest
And again I agree, the vast majority of Catholics do not hate valid practices. But, we are flawed humans, and there are always some who go beyond the pale and move from “it’s not my style” to “I hate it, it should disappear”. And we have seen remarks (on both sides) of that ilk right here in this thread. That’s why I remarked on the ‘small percentage’, but it’s a very loud percentage. And again, sheer numbers wise, the hostility of one group outweighs the other.
And it is precisely because most people are reasonable that it’s hard for them to see the hostility being as bad as it is. We try to make excuses for the side that we ourselves like, and we find ourselves thinking that the ‘other side’ has been at ‘more fault’, and then when another exchange comes along, we find ourselves looking more and more to find ‘proofs’ that support our previous judgment.
So if we start off neutral, and then two people argue, and one person gets snarky and the other doesn’t, we can start to think that the snarky one was ‘wrong’. . .even if he or she wasn’t, but just has an unfortunate communication style, or was having a bad day. And then we start to see ‘snark’ in what somebody else on the ‘same side’ says in another post. And pretty soon, any time the topic comes up, we think of one side as all ‘snark and wrong’.
Somebody (probably a psychologist) once said that for every negative experience a person had, they needed to then receive twenty–20!–positive experiences to ‘counteract’ the negative. Food for thought, because if we’ve had one negative kind of experience with somebody on a subject, how often will we get the 20 positives to bring us back to neutral?
And it is precisely because most people are reasonable that it’s hard for them to see the hostility being as bad as it is. We try to make excuses for the side that we ourselves like, and we find ourselves thinking that the ‘other side’ has been at ‘more fault’, and then when another exchange comes along, we find ourselves looking more and more to find ‘proofs’ that support our previous judgment.
So if we start off neutral, and then two people argue, and one person gets snarky and the other doesn’t, we can start to think that the snarky one was ‘wrong’. . .even if he or she wasn’t, but just has an unfortunate communication style, or was having a bad day. And then we start to see ‘snark’ in what somebody else on the ‘same side’ says in another post. And pretty soon, any time the topic comes up, we think of one side as all ‘snark and wrong’.
Somebody (probably a psychologist) once said that for every negative experience a person had, they needed to then receive twenty–20!–positive experiences to ‘counteract’ the negative. Food for thought, because if we’ve had one negative kind of experience with somebody on a subject, how often will we get the 20 positives to bring us back to neutral?