Why I don't want to be catholic anymore

  • Thread starter Thread starter SocaliCatholic
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
Hey Social,

and some more thots:

Regarding God’s intent in leading you into the Catholic faith, sometimes we just need to step back and assess the situation and your individual needs. You have identified a deficit in the social life for young adults in your church. Might that be why you were led there? What can you do about it?

Regarding Christian masculinity, maybe check John Eldridge’s book Wild at Heart. His other book, Waking the Dead really helped me.

Regarding getting rid of “stinking thinking,” check out The Feeling Good Handbook by Burns. Very practical.

Let me know what your thots are,

Cordially,

Ferd
 
Social,

I read your post and wish to contribute. I’m lacking time and will try to say more later. For now, I’d like to just say, I felt precisely the same way as you. It was through learning more about the faith and conversing some very wise people (as you are attempting to do here) that greatly helped me seeing things in a much different way. You are having trouble seeing the Joy of the faith right now. Don’t stop seeking it, it is there and you will find it. PRAY for assistance, He will most assuradly give it to you. I thought praying for something like this was corney when I felt the same as you. But I expressed my misgivings to Him in prayer and He came shining through in many ways.

I too, felt my “manhood” was in jeopardy if I were to try to be mroe faithful and obedient. I can now see how wrong I was. I can also see how my pride held my true happiness at bay. Hang in there Social. God is patient, keep moving forward. The only promise I can make is, you will be very happy you did.
 
40.png
SocaliCatholic:
the main gist to clarify to those who sin less than me i confess that my faith feels like an imposing force that is pushing down on my head with the rules and regulations that are causing me to feel inadequate to be a member of the church mostly becuase i do not have the self control to restrain myself from the habits i had before i converted to my faith. specifically i am still young and want to do the things people my age do before i become too old. and i honestly feel like now that i am a part of this church my chances of going to hell have actually increased rather than diminished becasue i am still sinful but my accountability has proportionately increased with all this knoweldge i have gained and to top it off i just started serving as a eucharistic minister. this self restraint againt temptaion is causing me depression and i want to die. as i see it my life is worthless and i have trouble understanding why God made me in the first place if i am so ungrateful for my blessings and yet i find life even more unfulfilling now as a cathloilic becuase i have had to cutt of all of my bad habits. i dont know where life beings. is life as a cathlolic ever supposed to be fun? I thought my life would get better before i converted. its really pathetic. to top it off, my protestant friends, as erroneous as their theology is, i miss the social group of friends i used to have when i was going to that baptist chruch. where do i make catholic friends who are normal? where are the normal catholic chicks? are they all at the clubs rebelling like I want to?
Click to expand...
You are right in saying that you do not have the self-control. We are helpless without God, so do not rely on your own strength. “Ask and you shall receive, knock and it shall be opened to you…” God will give you all you need to remain faithful to Him, but you have to ask. He knows what you are thinking, so talk to Him.
I was very wild when I was young and my heart goes out to all the young people today. I grew up in the 70’s with the “sex, love, and rock-n-rock.” The temptations were great, but it seems to me that it’s even tougher now. I must admitt I would have a hard time resisting the temptations of today, but I have “been there and done that” and it’s an empty life to lead.
It sounds to me like the Devil is attacking you. Listen to Father Corapi (on EWTN). He explains the “Sprititual warfare” which we are a part of. He was on drugs and lost everything. He talks about all the things you have mentioned. If you don’t get EWTN you can listen to it on Sirius Radio.
About the depression thing. That really struck me because I too have had problems with depression in the past. So much so that I ended up in the hospital because it had gotten so bad. Depression will really screw up your thought process. What seems logical now will seem crazy when you are out of the depression. Just keep in mind that the Devil will use any means necessary to take your soul back from God. You are weak, but God is all powerful. Ask for His help and He will not turn His back on you.
And from a female point of view, “chick” is not demeaning (in my opinion), but I would not date a man who would refer to me in that way. It shows a total lack of respect. I think most women feel this way also.
Good luck to you! Let us know how things go!
Gina
 
40.png
CatholicNerd:
Oh man. Looks like the liberals ARE doing a good job of distorting the image of true masculinity. .
Click to expand...
He never referred to liberals you are putting words into his mouth.

Emmy
 
40.png
SocaliCatholic:
I do not feel like a honest man anymore but someone who is trying to fit in to a culuture of people who sacrifice honesty for pretending to a nice person only at church and then an evil doer on the outside.
Click to expand...
I have heard this kind of thing a hundred times. (and it is true) But that does not change the reason YOU should be in church. You are there to Know, Love and Serve God.

Our Churches are full of what I like to call “surface Catholics”, something similar to the parable about the Phairsee and the publican. The Phairsee went to Church to show everyone how good and holy he was. The publican went to acknowledge he was a sinner, to repent, ask for help and worship God… We all know which one pleased God. The only thing I can say is make sure you’re the publican not the Phairsee.

When you sit in that pew it is for God, not for who’s sitting beside you.
If nobody at church is perfect then I should be able to go out and gamble and drink, smoke ect why waste any time trying to pretend to be a good person. I am always so worried now about doing something wrong I dont want to do anything anymore.
Click to expand...
Stop worrying about doing something wrong and start worrying about your relationship with God. When we are close to God it is easy to put aside that which is displeasing to Him. This is however a long journey and process, it does not come instant or easy.

Start by saying “I want to KNOW who my God is”. If you Know Him it is easy to Love and Serve Him.

Study and pray - in time you will easily put aside anything you feel will displease Him!

God Bless, you are on a journey, don’t stop NOW!
 
SocaliCatholic, if you are looking for perfection in other human beings then you will be sorely dissapointed, everyone that attends Mass is a sinner, Catholics aren’t perfect, if they were then we wouldn’t need Confession.
It is a constant battle against sin, we are attracted to things that we know are wrong, looking at the ladies with the wrong idea, Alcohol, Smoking, Porngraphy, extra matrial affairs, there is a multitude of things we shouldn’t do, but sometimes the temptation is so strong.
Prayer is one way to fight it, if Jesus saw the need for prayer, and Him sinless then we certainley need prayer.
Try and get rid of these death wishes, why bring something on that will happen naturally one day.
I wish you would get yourself a copy of Saint Anthonys Brief, and keep it about your person and say the little prayer on there.
I think your having a battle with freewill, we would all sometimes like to throw our hands up in the air and go and have a good time,
Anyway hope you get things sorted out, were all in the same boat none of us are perfect.
 
  1. The Church’s teaching on sexual ethics have shown me (and I am a 27 year old man who returned to the Church in his early 20’s) that to be a man is to live out one’s masculinity in a responsible way that is directed to eternal life with God. The Church’s teachings due not emasculate, but rather help me to be a man in the true sense, as was revealed by Jesus Christ–the God-man. He was a chaste celibate and was able to love with absolute freedom, even though most guys would be mocked for accepting celibacy and chastity in our warped and backward culture.
  2. Please understand that everyone sins and falls,… then we find contrition and repent, and will fall in some way again. This is what it means to be human. But if you go to Confession regularly, you will receive grace to help you defend against sin. Regardless, the Church’s moral teachings and its sacraments of the Eucharist and Confession are all about sinners entering into and receiving God’s mercy.
  3. You will find hypocrisy and fake-i-ness in any church, or at least is my experience in the past. Do not worry about what others do, be concerned about your own love of God and neighbor, and God’s love for you. Be a model of holiness for others and, as St. John of the Cross said–where there is not love, put love there.
  4. Do not give up. In God’s eyes, your life is more valuable than you can even begin to imagine! Call on Jesus to help you in this dark time. He will not disappoint.
 
What does the priest say at every Mass - “look not on our sins but on the faith of your Church”.

I also attend Mass with people that are perhaps not as orthodox as myself. But only God knows when the Holy Spirit is going to ignite their hearts and souls. Don’t let those people keep you from being the wonderful Catholic you know you can be.
 
SocaliCatholic –

God is not a prison warden, wanting to keep you from “having fun,” indulging what you yourself have called bad habits. You have got it exactly backwards. God’s laws are not about restrictions, but about freedom – freedom from sin.

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever. The miracles Jesus worked 2,000 years ago when He walked the earth, He is working now.

Jesus Christ desires that you be free of the hold that sin has on your life. He desires and intends that you be made whole, physically and spiritually. And He will heal you if you truly believe and pray without ceasing to be loosed from the demons that are besieging you right now.

There is freedom only in Christ and through His Bride the Church, you will find healing and wholeness.

The Mass is the ordinary place of healing. Go with great expectation and firm belief that Jesus wishes to heal you and will heal you. He will work miracles in your life if you only believe and persist in prayer.

If you parish does not have a healing Mass, call your archdiocese or ask your pastor which churches in your area hold them. Our parish, for example, has a healing Mass every first Thursday evening. God is working miracles in our midst and healing broken lives and bodies. He wants to heal you. Ask Him; seek Him out with pure and firm desire to be healed by Him. He will not refuse you, his precious, precious child.

“Which one of you would hand his son a stone when he asks for a loaf of bread or a snake when he asks for a fish? If you then, who are wicked, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good things to those who ask him.” – Matthew 7:9-11
 
40.png
SocaliCatholic:
Agreed. However, where are all the young groups at church? If our church is so great, why arent there more vibrant, outreaching young adult groups? Or is this sola journey
Click to expand...
Most parishes today are dominated by the elderly. However I have heard numerous times that Latin Mass Parishes are on average far younger. Here’s a directory to find one near you: latinmass.org/states/california.html
 
40.png
SocaliCatholic:
the main gist to clarify to those who sin less than me i confess that my faith feels like an imposing force that is pushing down on my head with the rules and regulations that are causing me to feel inadequate to be a member of the church mostly becuase i do not have the self control to restrain myself from the habits i had before i converted to my faith.
Click to expand...
Don’t underestimate yourself. I think you do have the self-control. God does not command what is impossible so if he didn’t think you were capable of cutting off your bad habits he wouldn’t have said, “if your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out.”
i just started serving as a eucharistic minister.
Click to expand...
That’s a bad idea. Unconsecrated hands were never meant to touch the Eucharist.
is life as a cathlolic ever supposed to be fun?
Click to expand...
Yes, it’s only certain types of fun that you have to give up. You don’t have to give up baseball, basketball, football, skiing, swimming, playing music, biking, running, reading, writing, or drawing.
 
SocaliCatholic,

Like several other people have said - I’ve been where you are.

You have gotton some good advice, Pray, go to Mass & Confreesion, switch Churches, don’t be a Eucharist minister, get Catholic help and so forth. I have two more that helped me out of my darkness.

Get involved. The Pro-Life movement has focused my energy on God Love and God’s children. The world is no longer just about my selfishness and desires. Homelessness, prison ministry, helping the elderly, all these are great to help the suffering in the world.

Jesus is the Pearl of Great Price in Heaven. A good Catholic woman is the Pearl of Great Price on earth. You will be amazed at the peace and joy in your life when you find her.

" Be not afraid"
Chris G
 
SocaliCatholic,

Don’t let the way other people worship get in between you and God. There are many people who are there for the wrong reasons.
If you are personally having problems living a good life then pray and ask God for help.

Have you tried going to a tridentine latin mass? The tridentine mass is very reverent and most of the people that are there are there because they want to be. It may be hard to understand at first but you get used to it.

Remember to pray. God bless.
 
40.png
chrisg93:
SocaliCatholic,

Like several other people have said - I’ve been where you are.

You have gotton some good advice, Pray, go to Mass & Confreesion, switch Churches, don’t be a Eucharist minister, get Catholic help and so forth. I have two more that helped me out of my darkness.

Get involved. The Pro-Life movement has focused my energy on God Love and God’s children. The world is no longer just about my selfishness and desires. Homelessness, prison ministry, helping the elderly, all these are great to help the suffering in the world.
Question: What does NOT being a Eucharist minister have anything to do with his problems? Isn’t taking communion to the sick and shut-ins helping the suffering in the world?
Jesus is the Pearl of Great Price in Heaven. A good Catholic woman is the Pearl of Great Price on earth. You will be amazed at the peace and joy in your life when you find her.

" Be not afraid"
Chris G
Click to expand...
 
I, too, have often asked where the Catholic girls were. They never seemed to want a Catholic man who was strong in his faith. I connect it to the idea that society has put upon women that they want men who are dangerous or rebels.

As far as the vibrant groups go, why not form one with the permission and help of your priest? It could be a great way to meet new people and to give you a new hobbie. There is a group in Atlanta called Spirit and Truth. It has moved into Birmingham, and I enjoy it. Do a google search and check them out. You might get it started in LA.

I still enjoy bars and poker, but I can feel where your coming from in your post. DO not give up on yourself or your faith. One day, you might see that being Catholic does not press down on you, but uplifts you. Yes, it is harder becuase you know, but you are in no way alone. You have the sacraments. You have the saints. You have us. We will be here to talk.
 
I’m on my way over to my parish church to say a prayer on your behalf. Stay the course and never lose heart.
 
Why are you Catholic? For other people or for God? Who gives a care how fake anyone else is: what it all boils down to is YOUR salvation. Do you want to spend eternity with God or Satan? Figure that one out and you’ll know the answer to your question.
 
I think that there has been some good (name removed by moderator)ut from other forum members regarding this post of yours. I would like to second the reservations someone else expressed regarding your serving as an extraordinary mininster of the Eucharist (sorry, I know that’s not the exact title). It might be best for you to cease serving in that capacity until you sort out where you are at—otherwise, you are piling on the feelings of being a hypocrite. There are too many serving in that capacity anyway, so it would probably be a noble act to stop serving for that reason alone, or at least in some parishes.

God Bless—and remember this quote from Chesterton: “The Christian ideal has not been tried and found wanting: it has been found difficult and left untried.”
 
40.png
SocaliCatholic:
if anyone out there can relate to how I feel I feel like dumping catholicism becuase it feels like it has cut of my manhood. I do not feel like a honest man anymore but someone who is trying to fit in to a culuture of people who sacrifice honesty for pretending to a nice person only at church and then an evil doer on the outside. I am not saying I am sinless myself but I feel like I cant be honest with people anymore becuase eveyone at church is so fake and when I rebuke their fake ideals they always get upset because I have challenged their world views. If nobody at church is perfect then I should be able to go out and gamble and drink, smoke ect why waste any time trying to pretend to be a good person. I am always so worried now about doing something wrong I dont want to do anything anymore. I cant even go to outside without fear of giving into tempation to go to a rated r movie like farenheit 911 or go to clubs and picking up on chicks. Why not just end my life altogether
Click to expand...
Wassup Socali

Trust i know how ya feel, im 19 and live in southern california as well. Its difficult to be a good Catholic especially if your young and wanna have fun (like i do lots of times). I struggle and face temptations lots of times, but i dont think about taking my life or leaving the church. Its difficult for guys like us to be good Catholics because of society and its many temptations. I hope that you overcome your struggle with the help of God.
 
I am amazed at how much really good help eveyone here has given me. Thank you very much. I went to reconcilliation and holy eucharist today. Please pray for me that I stay on the right track and dont despair anymore.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top