Why is homosexuality wrong?

[EasterJoy]

All I can say is that I’m definitively not homophobic or am I homosexual.
However; it would seem the moment I declare I’m against homosexual sexual practices I’m already labelled as homophobic. What gives?

That’s a bit off-topic, perhaps, as it is not implied by the OPs questions or comments.

 

[spes_salvi]

#2

I had heard this before, its just that I don´t get it, I mean eating a child is clearly wrong, because you´re affecting someone else, adultery is the same thing, but homosexuality only affects those who willingly consent, why should this be wrong? Another thing I don´t understand is why di Jesus never talk about it. I just feel so sad that I´m going to have to be alone for the rest of my life

When one engages in homosexual acts, he damages himself, his partner, offends God, and has unseen effects on others as well because one’s sin affect the entire Church inasmuch as we are the one Mystical Body of Christ. He damages himself and his partner by practicing a sexuality that is contrary to their nature. Sex ought to have been a generous life-giving love in the context of marriage between a man and a woman, but it has been reduced to a selfish pursuit of pleasure divorced from God’s original plan. Sex ought to have been a body language of love, of full mutual self giving between husband and wife that is open to life, but homosexual acts misuse and corrupt it.

Jesus may not have explicitly condemned homosexual acts, but he did affirm the true meaning of marriage and sex:

But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female. For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and the two shall become one flesh.’
Cf Mark 10:6-8

Marriage and sex was designed not for male-male or female-female, but for a male and a female.

Don’t be afraid of the apparent weight of this burden or that God gets angry at us when we sin. God is merciful. He knows our weakness. He is perfect. His love for us never changes no matter how many times we leave him. When we sin, it is not that God revokes his love. Rather, it is us who turn away from his love. He remains that loving father who eagerly awaits our return, like the father in the parable of the prodigal son. And like a good father, he supports and equips us with everything we need to win this struggle.

As a practical suggestion, though, it might be good for you to find a well formed spiritual director who can give advice specific to your case. Don’t worry. You are not alone in the struggle. We’re all in this together. I offer you my prayers and my personal struggle.

 

[EasterJoy]

I was told by my RCIA teacher that we as humans are always married. We’re in one of three states. We’re married to God, the Church, or a person that God has chosen for us to be married to. As single people we’re married to God and are required to stay true to that commitment.
You said that you love God and I don’t doubt that because this has caused such a difficulty for you. The bible says that love doesn’t “vaunt” itself. It’s not self-assertive in other words. Think of it this way, the bible also says that God wont put on us anymore than He knows we can handle. You really have what I imagine will be a hard road ahead. But God has faith in you that you can proceed and come out a great success. I’ll be praying for you.

Everyone is obliged to be chaste, but everyone is not always married. If this were true, how could someone in the single state be free to marry, when they were already married? In fact, in Corinthians St. Paul addresses himself to the married and the unmarried separately.

While St. Paul did say that a single person can serve God with less distraction than a married person, your teacher’s well-meaning but unfortunate way of explaining chastity is implied nowhere in Catholic teaching. The single person is not any more “married to God” than a married person is. Baptism is baptism is baptism; it isn’t marriage. Marriage is the way that God joins two people to each other exclusively. This is why a sacramental marriage is so much more to be preferred than a marriage to an unbeliever. Neither is ordination the equivalent of marriage. Holy Orders and Marriage are very different things.

We are all required to act chastely, and chastity does not allow sex outside of marriage, nor even within marriage when the acts defeat the purpose or the dignity of marriage. People have had difficulties with chastity throughout history.

Jesus did, BTW, say that the sin of lust was a mortal sin: that is, to commit lust was to chance the fires of Gehenna, and he used the same word for “lust” as for the word “covet” in the ten commandments. In other words, to covet what someone else has that you do not have is a form of lust. To covet something is to lust after it in your heart.

This is why, when you hear the argument of the Rainbow Alliance that the verse “There is nothing from without a man, that entering into him can defile him: but the things which come out of him, those are they that defile the man.” (Mark 7:15) means that homosexual acts are OK (yes, some of them say this) are totally wrong. (How someone can keep a straight face while taking that passage so entirely out of context in the first place boggles the mind.) Homosexuals who defend homosexual acts as morally permissible inevitable show that they covet the heterosexual state in life. The only exceptions I know are those who want heterosexuals and homosexuals alike to be able to pursue sexual acts outside of marriage. Homosexual activists want there to be no distinction between heterosexual marriage and homosexual partnerships. In our state, they want to be put on the birth certificate of their partner’s child as a parent, even though it is obvious that it is entirely impossible that the two are both the child’s biological parents! They want to be able to bring children into their families, even when it means employing others outside the marriage as surrogates. Like the OP, they contend that this “doesn’t hurt anyone”; never mind that they have conspired to conceive a child outside of wedlock so that the child will not be able to be raised by both biological parents. This is the kind of misguided thinking that has flowed out of “what does it hurt? We only want what everyone else has”.

 

[ProdglArchitect]

Hi kyle. I also have a same-sex attraction. I can understand the weight of the cross we bear. Sometimes, I still feel upset about it, but I also know that my love for God should prevail so that I must avoid displeasing him by committing sin. At times like these, I pray to God to give me the strength and joy to keep going in life. Our popular culture often hails sex as the greatest source of happiness, but this isn’t true. There’s more to life than sex. Those who engage in sex in sinful ways and disregarding its true meaning may experience momentary pleasure, but end up hurting themselves and others and with a huge void which no amount of pleasure could fill.

But first, it’s important to address your objections.

#1 Animals demonstrate homosexual behavior. Therefore, homosexual behavior is natural and is not wrong.

Natural can mean two things: 1) something that exists in nature and 2) somethng that works to promote the good and normal order of things; to work well according to one’s “nature”. These two meanings should not be equated. Stuff that exist in nature do not necessarily mean it’s good, normal, or according to one’s nature. Illness, for example, exists in nature. Humans and animals suffer from disease. But we know that illness is contrary to one’s normal functions and health. It is not “natural” in this sense, because something is not supposed to be. Something is wrong.

In a similar manner, homosexuality doesn’t automatically become right because it exists in nature or observed in animals. In the final analysis, its morality is judged according to the right natural order of things. First, we note the function of one’s reproductive organs. The male and female organs are meant to be complementary and to function for procreation. Second, the male and female person are also complementary in terms of other aspects (their psyche, personality etc.) as if they are designed in marriage to build up one another in his/her own respect. Homosexuality runs contrary to this natural order and complementarity.

The existence of “wrong” things in nature is explained by our doctrine of Original sin. Because of the fall of mankind, nature does not work as perfectly as it was first ordained to be. We experience death and illness. People experience tendencies and attraction that lead us to commit sin (attraction to women who is not your wife; attraction to persons of the same-sex, to name a few). This attraction, although disordered, doesn’t constitute sin by itself unless one consents to it.

This is part of the struggle that God expects all of us to bear for him. But we have with us the hope that he gives us enough help and grace to avoid sin, fight temptation, and to strive to live in holiness. Even if we fall out of weakness, God gives us a fresh chance to continue fighting by forgiving us in Confession.

Awesome post. I pray for both you and the OP, that you’ll have strength and courage to bear your crosses with dignity and love.

God bless!

 

[Studer]

I´m catholic, I go to church every sunday, and I pray with my family everyday. I really believe in God. But the thing is, that I feel attracted to men, and in the bible it says it´s wrong. I´ve researched and found that there are animals that have homosexual orientation, so this means it is something that hapens in nature, why then would it be wrong if I act on my feelings, will God hate me if I do? Will I go to hell? I really don´t want to go to hell, but I don´t understand why is it that wrong, if I would not be harming anyone else by being with another man

No you won’t. If you live in some backward place somewhere where people tell you to have to be ashamed of yourself, maybe you should go away.

Dont forget Elvis Presley, Einstein, Ghandi King Jr, Freud, Oppenheimer, etc etc are all in the catholic hell, so I guess it must be a great place with a lot of interesting people.

 

[silicasandra]

No you won’t. If you live in some backward place somewhere where people tell you to have to be ashamed of yourself, maybe you should go away.

Dont forget Elvis Presley, Einstein, Ghandi King Jr, Freud, Oppenheimer, etc etc are all in the catholic hell, so I guess it must be a great place with a lot of interesting people.

Because your profile says “Catholic” I assume you know enough Catholic theology to also know that the Church does not say and does not have the authority to say who is in hell. Only God knows that.

OP, many people struggle with same sex attractions or other disorders that tempt them to grave sin. ALL people are called to be chaste regardless of their station in life. Straight people do not get a pass on this. They must respect their God-given sexuality by keeping sex to its rightful place in marriage, and by never treating their spouses (or other people!) as objects to merely supply them with sexual pleasure.

As a person with same sex attraction, your struggle for chastity will be different than heterosexuals, whether married or unmarried, but many people have difficulty remaining chaste. If you stick around CAF, you’ll see multiple threads about masturbation, pornography, adultery, contraception, abortion, and more. Our society says that we should be able to do what we want with our bodies when we want to, and as long as it “feels good” it’s OK, but that is not respecting our bodies as God’s creation. God designed sex, and sex is a great good - so great, in fact, that we are called to show it a great deal of respect - after all, it creates entirely new people! By diverting it from that purpose, you are putting yourself and your desires over God’s.

It can be a heavy cross to bear, but with God all things are possible. :hug1: I will pray for you, OP.

 

[TheRealJuliane]

No you won’t. If you live in some backward place somewhere where people tell you to have to be ashamed of yourself, maybe you should go away.

Dont forget Elvis Presley, Einstein, Ghandi King Jr, Freud, Oppenheimer, etc etc are all in the catholic hell, so I guess it must be a great place with a lot of interesting people.

That does not sound like a Catholic response to me. The one person who is NOT in Hell is Jesus, and eternity separated from God is eternal pain and suffering.

Read the Scriptures, my friend, Hell does not sound like “a great place with a lot of interesting people.”

Besides, no one knows who is in hell, except God.

 

[1ke]

I would encourage the OP to get in touch with the Courage apostolate for help.

www.couragerc.net

 

[Balcerhouse]

Everyone is obliged to be chaste, but everyone is not always married. If this were true, how could someone in the single state be free to marry, when they were already married? In fact, in Corinthians St. Paul addresses himself to the married and the unmarried separately.

While St. Paul did say that a single person can serve God with less distraction than a married person, your teacher’s well-meaning but unfortunate way of explaining chastity is implied nowhere in Catholic teaching. The single person is not any more “married to God” than a married person is. Baptism is baptism is baptism; it isn’t marriage. Marriage is the way that God joins two people to each other exclusively. This is why a sacramental marriage is so much more to be preferred than a marriage to an unbeliever. Neither is ordination the equivalent of marriage. Holy Orders and Marriage are very different things.

We are all required to act chastely, and chastity does not allow sex outside of marriage, nor even within marriage when the acts defeat the purpose or the dignity of marriage. People have had difficulties with chastity throughout history.

Jesus did, BTW, say that the sin of lust was a mortal sin: that is, to commit lust was to chance the fires of Gehenna, and he used the same word for “lust” as for the word “covet” in the ten commandments. In other words, to covet what someone else has that you do not have is a form of lust. To covet something is to lust after it in your heart.

This is why, when you hear the argument of the Rainbow Alliance that the verse “There is nothing from without a man, that entering into him can defile him: but the things which come out of him, those are they that defile the man.” (Mark 7:15) means that homosexual acts are OK (yes, some of them say this) are totally wrong. (How someone can keep a straight face while taking that passage so entirely out of context in the first place boggles the mind.) Homosexuals who defend homosexual acts as morally permissible inevitable show that they covet the heterosexual state in life. The only exceptions I know are those who want heterosexuals and homosexuals alike to be able to pursue sexual acts outside of marriage. Homosexual activists want there to be no distinction between heterosexual marriage and homosexual partnerships. In our state, they want to be put on the birth certificate of their partner’s child as a parent, even though it is obvious that it is entirely impossible that the two are both the child’s biological parents! They want to be able to bring children into their families, even when it means employing others outside the marriage as surrogates. Like the OP, they contend that this “doesn’t hurt anyone”; never mind that they have conspired to conceive a child outside of wedlock so that the child will not be able to be raised by both biological parents. This is the kind of misguided thinking that has flowed out of “what does it hurt? We only want what everyone else has”.

I understand your point but I think you are taking me literally about being married to God. It’s a mindset of faithfulness to God for those that stay single. It’s meant to be understood as a metaphor.

 

[manualman]

I´m catholic, I go to church every sunday, and I pray with my family everyday. I really believe in God. But the thing is, that I feel attracted to men, and in the bible it says it´s wrong. I´ve researched and found that there are animals that have homosexual orientation, so this means it is something that hapens in nature, why then would it be wrong if I act on my feelings, will God hate me if I do? Will I go to hell? I really don´t want to go to hell, but I don´t understand why is it that wrong, if I would not be harming anyone else by being with another man

Welcome to the forums!

The first thing to address is in your first sentence. There is ZERO guilt in feeling attractions towards men. Neither the church nor the bible teaches that there is. What is wrong is allowing your feelings to dictate your actions when the action is morally wrong.

God built human sexuality to profoundly reflect God’s own life giving love. Man and woman are fundamentally different (not just mere plumbing) and their union has a meaning. Similarly, there is a deeper spiritual meaning to the fact that two men together have a relationship that is sexually sterile by its very nature.

We live in a culture that worships sexual pleasure. It’s our golden calf. But marital sexuality has to be MUCH more than mutually pleasurable. It has to revolve around the recognition that the love of man and wife reflects the life giving power of God’s own love.

It’s not fair to those who aren’t attracted to the opposite sex. Neither are about 30 million other facets of life in imperfect human society. All you can really do about it is to trust that God is bigger than worldly obstacles and has a plan for you that will fulfill and and bring about the you that God intended from the begining of time. It’s worth giving up the physical and emotional pleasure of human relations if the sort you are inclined to aren’t compatible with His design.

 

[EasterJoy]

No you won’t. If you live in some backward place somewhere where people tell you to have to be ashamed of yourself, maybe you should go away.

Dont forget Elvis Presley, Einstein, Ghandi King Jr, Freud, Oppenheimer, etc etc are all in the catholic hell, so I guess it must be a great place with a lot of interesting people.

Do you think lying about the Church and making fun of Church teaching is funny? The Catholic Church has assigned exactly zero specific people to Hell, let alone the list that you came up with. Quit making trouble.

 

[RACJ]

Kyle, let me first say that I respect your desire for Truth. Since I have never had any interest in another male, the Biblical strictures against homosexual activity makes sense to me. As well, the knowledge that no same-sex couple can replace a good mom and dad in a child’s life. But the subject would have never been discussed in the Bible if “gay” attraction had never existed before. So, I say that I am glad that it is not my job to be judge and jury on this topic.
I do think that many older homosexual males stand at the ready to fill the vacuum in the lives of young boys who lack paternal approval, either b/c of a natural dad’s negligence or absenteeism. REAL affection for a young boy by a man NEVER includes sexuality, but once the taboo is broken, it is hard for a young person without life experience to extricate himself from it. I don’t know if any of this speaks to your own situation, of course. God Bless and Merry Christmas, Rob

 

[kyle91]

I do think that many older homosexual males stand at the ready to fill the vacuum in the lives of young boys who lack paternal approval, either b/c of a natural dad's negligence or absenteeism. REAL affection for a young boy by a man NEVER includes sexuality, but once the taboo is broken, it is hard for a young person without life experience to extricate himself from it.

I didn´t understand this part, what do you mean?

 

[Podo2005]

Just because it’s natural does not mean that it’s okay.

I mean, masturbation is a very natural thing, and it has many health benefits, but we must refrain from committing such act because it is a sin of lust…etc…

So, even if in the future scientists find a “gay gene,” or some other evidence that having same-sex attraction is natural, that will not all of sudden make it “okay.”

Anyway, it is wrong because it is an act of lust and closes us off to what sex is for: procreation under the blessing of marriage, between a male and a female; what God intended sex to be for.

Now, you have to keep in mind that existing as a person who has same-sex attraction is not a sin. The problem is when you act on your inclinations.

I’ll send you a message, if you like…I’ve been researching the subject quite extensively, in the past couple months (Homosexuality and Catholicism)

I’ll keep you in my prayers.

Sorry that this is off topic but… I would disagree with this… masturbation actually causes serious harmful psychological problems… it is NOT healthy at all

 

[fordhamstudent]

Kyle, just know you are loved and there is nothing that can separate you from the love of God.There are many people in the Catholic Church all over the world that have attractions to the same sex. People are going to tell you many things some will be legalistic and some will be very liberal. The key is that you know you are loved by the Lord, that’s it. You don’t need to know anything else right now. Just focus on love and don’t be deterred from the message of love that is in the Gospels for you. Attending Mass often is a way you came come closer to the love of Jesus. Don’t worry about what you feel may be judgment, it is not your fault.

When you feel alone go spend time with Jesus in the tabernacle and keep Him company…many times the Lord is also alone there and needs you to be with Him. You will find the more time you spend with the Lord in the blessed Sacrament you will feel less alone and will find that even though it seems hard to understand why you feel the way you do, just know that Jesus is there and he understands. Also know that the Catholic Church is your Church too and that no one can take that away from you and you are always welcome home at anytime you make mistakes. Just don’t be too hard on yourself and never despair…remember anytime you feel sad, lonely, or hurt, to go visit Jesus in the blessed Sacrament.

Transformation in our lives does not come by simply knowing Church teaching on the negative and challenging parts of our lives, it comes by being with Him and by daily visiting the Lord in the tabernacle, through communion, and prayer that comes through a broken heart. Just know you are loved and nothing will ever take you away from His love and when you make mistakes come to Him in confession and let Him know all your pain and struggle and healing will be yours. God truly loves you more than you know.

 

[Dakota_Roberts]

I´m catholic, I go to church every sunday, and I pray with my family everyday. I really believe in God. But the thing is, that I feel attracted to men, and in the bible it says it´s wrong. I´ve researched and found that there are animals that have homosexual orientation, so this means it is something that hapens in nature, why then would it be wrong if I act on my feelings, will God hate me if I do? Will I go to hell? I really don´t want to go to hell, but I don´t understand why is it that wrong, if I would not be harming anyone else by being with another man

Animals simply act, they don’t really have the capacity for rational thought to analyze actions. For more intelligent creatures like monkeys they act like hedonists, it feels good so they do it. For many male animals when they are horny they will hump anything, cf dogs and legs.

Frankly the etiology is irrelevant, even if the inclination is genetic it would still be sinful for two people to engage in inherently sterile sex whether it is two men, women or a man and a woman (yes heterosexual couples can commit the sin of sodomy).

Do keep in mind what is sinful is sex, not the relationship itself.

 

[Dakota_Roberts]

Exactly

It’s one of the mud balls of disinformation which the gay agenda (and to an extent liberalism too) tends to throw at us, that “sex is needed in a healthy romantic relationship.”

Gays didn’t come up with and popularise that idea, heterosexuals did for themselves not thinking of the consequence or anyone, but themselves. Death to the cisgendered heterosexual heterosexist pigs who beat the institution of marriage up and left it to die by bleeding out painfully in the back alley.

 

[Rose71]

Kyle, I am going to pray for you tomorrow, on Chrsitmas Day. I don’t know you, but I admire you for having the courage to speak out.

I was alone for a very long time and had all but given up hope of meeting the right man. Living alone in a small town, I was accused of being gay more than once. Let nobody say that being single (whatever one’s sexual orientation is) and a Catholic is easy.

Going it alone because of one’s faith in today’s secular society is like carrying a cross surrounded by people saying, “what’s the big deal…you could put it down any time…nobody minds any more!” on one side and people on the other (who should know better) shouting “you have to keep going” but nobody actually stepping forward and helping carry the burden.

It’s not just about sex either. We’re humans. We are sociable beings. Thank God, I have met a wonderful man and we are (gasp!) not actually having sex because we aren’t yet married (which would utterly baffle most of our friends and family) However, the fundamental difference getting a hug every day and knowing I have someone in my life is massive! It’s about finding that deeper love and respect - why do so many people have to reduce relationships to pure tilitation all the time?

Homosexuals in the Catholic Church have a huge burden and to accept the teachings of the Church, they need to make a giant leap of faith. Not just ‘stay chaste until marriage’ (which let’s be honest - many of the heterosexual Catholics don’t quite manage) but for life…without necessarily being called to religious life (another huge leap of faith)

We have the sacrament of Reconcilliation when we fall (all of us!) and many homosexual people have contributed greatly to society and performed deeds of great love and great courage. Many bring joy to everyone through performance and sporting achievements. I am proud to call several gay people my friends. I would not shun heterosexual people who lived in sin or enjoyed sex outside marriage, or had IVF, or used contraception.

One of the most joyous messages in the Gospel is that Jesus came to Earth as a man; to love among us anad share our humanity. He lived by example and never denied anyone compassion or kindness.

Kyle, I can’t offer you the answers, but I hope this post serves as a small help: a helping hand to carry your cross a few steps along the way.

 

[Crescentinus]

All I can say is that I’m definitively not homophobic or am I homosexual.
However; it would seem the moment I declare I’m against homosexual sexual practices I’m already labelled as homophobic. What gives?

It’s because the homosexualists look at the issue of approval of homosexuality as a dichotomy - that of either you’re with them or you’re against them.

 

[GutsfromBerserk]

First, those are animals. Their homosexuality is not a show of emotional love, it’s a show of lust. It’s like saying that since having sex for a couple of seconds is natural for monkeys than its natural for humans too or thatpromiscuity is natural.

Secondly, homosexuality is lust. Pure and simple. Even if a gay man were to find a friendly person in another gay man, homosexualityn is what makes them perform filthy acts and be promiscuis.And don’t tale my word for it; take the word of homosexuals who themselves admit are promiscuis and advocate free sex, the same homosexuals whoa ttend gay pride parades running around half naked and doing all sorts of indecent things in public, the same homosexuals who wear clothes and show ‘affection’ no normal woman or couple would do.

Thirdly, even as I said a man were to find a decent person to ‘date’, it’s still a person you can be clsoe friends with. Marriage is more than love or lust; if it was, we’d be able to marry our sisters or multiple wives. I know mormonism advocates polygamy but look, we’re not mormon. Men and women have a sort of chemistry with each other that two people of the same sex can’t have. They share not only their possessions and their works but also their emotions; they can chage each other or teach each other in a lot of ways. In ssence, they share a special emotional bond that is far more than friendship. Then there children whom homosexuals cannot raise because if they did, the children are going to be confused about their sexuality and whether it is right or wrong to pursue a heterosexual relationship. Don’t take my word for it; the fact that a lot of books have been written about men and women relationships and how both sexes are diffirent shows, butch feminism and portrayal of women and jerks be damned.