Why is monogamy moral compared to non-monogamy?

[WannabeSaint]

I’ve often heard an argument from anti-monogamy people that goes something like this:

“Prioritizing only one person is exclusive a makes anyone else a ‘lesser’. It is more admirable to love everyone equally.”

What would be a refutation for this?

 

[Convert3]

A man and wife united in marriage makes them one, and stronger together. It does not make anyone lesser.

 

[PatK63]

You can love everyone but sexual relations because of its deeply spiritual, personal and Holy nature is reserved for an exclusive relationship. Also, children should not be confused who their parents are.

 

[PetraG]

I’ve often heard an argument from anti-monogamy people that goes something like this:

“Prioritizing only one person is exclusive a makes anyone else a ‘lesser’. It is more admirable to love everyone equally.”

What would be a refutation for this?

I’m going to assume you’re talking to someone who is not interested in arguments made from Catholic morality.

The argument against monogamy that you’re repeating makes it sound as if it is human nature to be sexually active with everyone you trust–that is, to put everyone on an equal footing with regards to your sexual availability to them. That is obviously not how humans tick, as anyone who has ever been in love knows. It is the shallow who imagine they can have “equal” sexual relationships with many people.

Why is this? Well, in order to be healthy, a sexual relationship requires the foundation of a relationship of great trust. We cannot be trustworthy to multiple sexual partners in such an intense way. Actually, this is one reason that priests and religious are celibate: that is, they are so radically available to the world that they cannot be as radically available to a healthy sexual relationship at the same time.

Experiments such as commune life that are built on the “anti-monogamy” theory of morality just have not worked. They are trying a life that ignores human nature. I guess I would say that both experiments have been tried. One works at least some good-sized fraction of the time, and with very rewarding results. The other model has never worked as promised.

 

[po18guy]

Too many people have been listening to Stephen Stills. But, I digress.

Do the math! 50% males are born and 50% females, more or less. Why is that? If males take all available females, that leaves a substantial number of males with no mate. Anger ensues. Skirmishes. Wars.

It gets ugly.

“Anti-monogamy people” Who in heck are you hanging around?

 

[CaptFun]

Many a wandering husband has posed this philosophical conudrum to his spouse …

… moments before getting crowned

… and divorced.