Why is polygamy wrong?

[Jesusonthecross]

Because then marriage is no longer a partnership between equals. It’s instead a collector’s paradise.

There are so many answers, but this one is the simplest and the best. Thank you so much!

 

[Joie_de_Vivre]

A secular reason would be the historical correlation with abusive relationships and poor social results (e.g rich men with many wives leaving too few wives for the regular guys leading to social unrest)

I don’t know if secular reasons are of interest, and am in any case on a tablet which makes digging up and linking to reports a pain, so I’ll just dump that there and see if there is any interest.

Also on a vague arm waving front, you can see that a guy with hundreds of wives necessarily has a less intimate relationship with each than would be the case in a monogamous relationship.

Simple, you use the surplus men to wage wars and take by force other people’s land and if you kill all the enemy men then you have wives for the surplus men who survive.

So what if they have a less intimate relationship?

Polyandry is wrong because the child would not be sure who is her father. Polygamy is not against the natural law and was allowed in the OT.

Also Polyandry requires special circumstances that involve women having power which is exceptional give that in most cases men find it easier to rape beat and kill women than take orders from a woman.

Because then marriage is no longer a partnership between equals. It’s instead a collector’s paradise.

And? Historically marriage was transactional and that isn’t actually immoral.

I was only suggesting that the natural sex ratio of about 1 male born for every 1 female born, points to monogamy as being God’s design for mankind. If instead there was a natural sex ratio of 1 male born for every 2 females born, then that would point to bigamy as being God’s design for mankind and a natural sex ratio of 1 male born for every 3 females born would point to trigamy as being God’s design for mankind.

I did not mean to suggest that in those places where the natural sex ratio has been artificially changed, then polygamy or polyandry should be allowed.

Fisher’s principle

 

[Tomdstone]

Simple, you use the surplus men to wage wars and take by force other people’s land and if you kill all the enemy men then you have wives for the surplus men who survive.

I am opposed to wars and killing people. In the end a lot of innocent non-combatants including children will be killed or maimed for life. How many people in wars have lost an arm, a leg, an eyeball or some other body part. How many people have to suffer horrible pain, crying, suffering and moaning their whole life as a result of war. I am for solving problems by peaceful means, including peaceful diplomacy. I am somewhat perplexed that a Roman Catholic poster here is apparently advocating war for what seems to be a trivial reason. I don’t believe that this would be the position of the Roman Catholic church.

 

[clem456]

Simple, you use the surplus men to wage wars and take by force other people’s land and if you kill all the enemy men then you have wives for the surplus men who survive.

So what if they have a less intimate relationship?

Also Polyandry requires special circumstances that involve women having power which is exceptional give that in most cases men find it easier to rape beat and kill women than take orders from a woman.

And? Historically marriage was transactional and that isn’t actually immoral.

Fisher’s principle

Given that men abuse women with power…
I’m not sure I agree that purely transactional marriage is moral.
I understand that no overtly immoral acts are necessarily done, but, transactional would imply that women are property to be transacted, so it seems the attitude is immoral, as it objectifies the women.
I guess it depends on the individuals in the arranged or transactional marriage, and how they view and treat one another.

 

[Joie_de_Vivre]

Given that men abuse women with power…
I’m not sure I agree that purely transactional marriage is moral.
I understand that no overtly immoral acts are necessarily done, but, transactional would imply that women are property to be transacted, so it seems the attitude is immoral, as it objectifies the women.
I guess it depends on the individuals in the arranged or transactional marriage, and how they view and treat one another.

Transactional as in mostly a business relationship.

 

[jmjZelie]

Simple, you use the surplus men to wage wars and take by force other people’s land and if you kill all the enemy men then you have wives for the surplus men who survive.

So what if they have a less intimate relationship?

Also Polyandry requires special circumstances that involve women having power which is exceptional give that in most cases men find it easier to rape beat and kill women than take orders from a woman.

And? Historically marriage was transactional and that isn’t actually immoral.

Fisher’s principle

These explanations might explain historical ideas about marriage, but they have nothing to do with God’s plan for marriage. Jesus Christ, God Incarnate, carefully taught about marriage from the beginning, and corrected all the misunderstandings and misuses of marriage, and even went so far as to call Himself the Bridegroom and the Church His Bride, and told of the consummation of the wedding feast of the Lamb.

Marriage is a sacrament now. Even if polygamy were tolerated under the Old Covenant, it is a grave sin now. None of the historical abuses of marriage have anything to do with how marriage may be used (hint: for God’s glory and for procreation/education of children and for sanctification of spouses) under the New Covenant.

 

[clem456]

Transactional as in mostly a business relationship.

Right.
An arrangement between families out of practical considerations.
Pedigree
Land
Position
Wealth

 

[clem456]

I know that if Jesus said it is wrong, that is a good enough reason for it to be wrong, but why? Why isn’t it OK to have multiple spouses? This is just out of curiosity, by the way.
Thank you, and God Bless you!

As a purely secular argument without Christian point of view:

Polygamy is not ordered to the way we are. A man cannot mate with more than one woman.

Also, children bond to specific parents. This is not fantasy. Biology is involved. Smell, chemistry, etc…
Two parents, mother and father, is ordered to the existence and flourishing of humanity.
Polygamy is not.

 

[Tomdstone]

Polygamy is not ordered to the way we are.

It was allowed in the OT. And even today, there are Muslim families and other families which are polygamous.

 

[clem456]

It was allowed in the OT. And even today, there are Muslim families and other families which are polygamous.

Lots of things were allowed in the OT that could be called disordered.

I’m just observing that a child requires a mother and father, and the flourishing of that child is best promoted with that unit intact, not with three moms and 1 dad or 3 dads, one mom, and one undecided, or whatever. .

 

[Joie_de_Vivre]

These explanations might explain historical ideas about marriage, but they have nothing to do with God’s plan for marriage. Jesus Christ, God Incarnate, carefully taught about marriage from the beginning, and corrected all the misunderstandings and misuses of marriage, and even went so far as to call Himself the Bridegroom and the Church His Bride, and told of the consummation of the wedding feast of the Lamb.

Marriage is a sacrament now. Even if polygamy were tolerated under the Old Covenant, it is a grave sin now. None of the historical abuses of marriage have anything to do with how marriage may be used (hint: for God’s glory and for procreation/education of children and for sanctification of spouses) under the New Covenant.

The ban on polygamy rests solely on sacred tradition.

 

[clem456]

The ban on polygamy rests solely on sacred tradition.

Which expresses common sense and natural law.

 

[mikekle]

This is a very common sin in our times, but many people would not think it is.

Todays generation, its fairly common for most people to have had multiple sex partners over the years, (around 30-50 seems to be the norm), but from what Ive heard, in Gods view, the first person you have sex with, is your wife, no matter if you are married or not, and every other person you have sex with, that is adultery or polygamy every single time

 

[ericc]

I know that if Jesus said it is wrong, that is a good enough reason for it to be wrong, but why? Why isn’t it OK to have multiple spouses? This is just out of curiosity, by the way.
Thank you, and God Bless you!

1. God made 1 pair, not a threesome or foursome
2. Polygamy was tolerated because in those days, lifespans were short due to war or diseases. There was no social welfare services especially if they are nomadic.
3. Wives were treated as chattel then.
4. If you are a war victor, what are you going to do with all those wives/daughters whose husbands/fathers died in the war, friends as well as enemies? For enemies, it is either taken as wives or as slaves rather than mass slaughter them. Foreign wives as well as local women come as a burden as they normally come with nothing, with no wealth because inheritance laws tend to exclude them (with some exceptions). There may be some dowry if women are from own tribe.

 

[Joie_de_Vivre]

This is a very common sin in our times, but many people would not think it is.

Todays generation, its fairly common for most people to have had multiple sex partners over the years, (around 30-50 seems to be the norm), but from what Ive heard, in Gods view, the first person you have sex with, is your wife, no matter if you are married or not, and every other person you have sex with, that is adultery or polygamy every single time

Polygamy is being married to multiple people simultaneously, you are thinking of fornication.

 

[Sarcelle]

I am opposed to wars and killing people. In the end a lot of innocent non-combatants including children will be killed or maimed for life. How many people in wars have lost an arm, a leg, an eyeball or some other body part. How many people have to suffer horrible pain, crying, suffering and moaning their whole life as a result of war. I am for solving problems by peaceful means, including peaceful diplomacy. I am somewhat perplexed that a Roman Catholic poster here is apparently advocating war for what seems to be a trivial reason. I don’t believe that this would be the position of the Roman Catholic church.

I don’t think she is endorsing the war approach. No one here is. She is stating what will most likely happen if there are surplus men. I think she is correct.

A war between China and India can happen as these two nations have the most surplus men. Only thing is, they both have nuclear weapons.

 

[Sarcelle]

The ban on polygamy rests solely on sacred tradition.

True.

I notice a lot of sola scriptura types are also in favor of polygamy or specifically polygyny.

 

[Joie_de_Vivre]

I don’t think she is endorsing the war approach. No one here is. She is stating what will most likely happen if there are surplus men. I think she is correct.

A war between China and India can happen as these two nations have the most surplus men. Only thing is, they both have nuclear weapons.

Statistically states with large numbers of surplus men have more to gain from a war and less to lose, after all what is a hundred thousand dead men if you have a surplus of 20 million?

China and India are getting along much better these days, the countries to watch for are India and Pakistan as they both hate each other, have nukes and have been having border conflicts since independence

True.

I notice a lot of sola scriptura types are also in favor of polygamy or specifically polygyny.

It has always been like that.

 

[Thorolfr]

but from what Ive heard, in Gods view, the first person you have sex with, is your wife, no matter if you are married or not, and every other person you have sex with, that is adultery or polygamy every single time

What if the first person you have sex with had had sex with some else before you? Then wouldn’t he/she be that person’s spouse?

 

[Thorolfr]

1. Polygamy was tolerated because in those days, lifespans were short due to war or diseases. There was no social welfare services especially if they are nomadic.

Abraham had two wives at the same time (and more later on after Sarah died) but he lived to be 175 years old. That doesn’t seem like a very short lifespan. Jacob also had two wives at the same time (Leah and Rachel) and he lived to be 147 years old. That’s also not a short lifespan.