Why oh Why? (All read)

[Harmony1988]

Now I am not here to point fingers at anyone or make people feel bad or anything like that.

But I see so many threads, have seen and will probably continue to see threads on the issue of Catholic/Non-catholic marriages.

Either the husband isn’t catholic or the wife isn’t catholic and hence there are plenty of marriages on the verge of divorce or just tearing away due to sexual issues, child raising issues or other issues. Sure everyone has their fights, but when the fights regard deep rooted issues to do with faiths that will always be in conflict until one person changes their faith, nothing will be solved.

So the million dollar question is, why jump into relationship, let alone marriages with someone of a different faith? The Bible advises (strongly) against it, and so does common sense, leaving alone even religion. If I believe nazism is the right way to go, would I or should I marry a communist? One will find all too soon, the deep conflicts firmly rooted in different beliefs.

Now marriages that have already happened, the marriage is valid, I agree, what’s happened has happened and often the marriage is as happy as can be, with one of the parties converting, beautiful, but MOST of the time it ISN’T the case, one party eventually gives up their faith little by little, slowly being dragged into doom.

The Bible and common sense both tell us not to, it’s not an addiction, it’s a well thought out process that human beings have to make, but it’s hardly done right, therefore we can reap the consequences.

Let’s take Atheism and Catholicism for example:

Atheism - Artificial Birth Control DISCRETION
Catholicism NO
Atheism - Priority of raising children in church DISCRETION
Catholicism YES
Atheism - Helping the needy DISCRETION
Catholicism - YES [Financial/Time issues]
Atheism - Abortion DISCRETION
Catholicism - NO

Now this is some of the MAIN things that come up, but an issue with just one of them is enough to cause a field day over in hell. I don’t mean to put atheists in a bad light, but I just used the example to show how conflicting beliefs can be a problem, with atheism and catholicism it’s like a gambling game, sometimes your partner and you win, sometimes you don’t. Substitute protestanism in there and you will get a similar result, or buddhism.

Just the birth control issue can rupture a marriage.

Have fun

 

[HOPEFUL_IN_UK]

I think a lot of the time, people get married at a time in their lives when they’re not taking religion very seriously. They don’t see these issues as particularly important. Later, they want to rediscover their faith and that’s when they hit problems.

 

[InLight247]

Now this is some of the MAIN things that come up, but an issue with just one of them is enough to cause a field day over in hell. I don’t mean to put atheists in a bad light, but I just used the example to show how conflicting beliefs can be a problem, with atheism and catholicism it’s like a gambling game, sometimes your partner and you win, sometimes you don’t. Substitute protestanism in there and you will get a similar result, or buddhism.

Just the birth control issue can rupture a marriage.

Have fun

You raised a good question. Recently I have discussed this with my Pastor about such concern. One of my children is interested in a person with a totally different faith. My pastor said that in an ideal world one should date a person of same faith, but we are not in an ideal world. He is not against it. Then I talked to two other priests, they hold the same position. I am concerned.

I understand what the priests said, it is not easy to find someone who matches in every way. And as a parent, I cannot disallow my child to pursue his or her own interest. I can only pray. And praying hard I am. Have fun? There is no fun in this situation.

 

[TOP]

1 Corinthians 7:14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the believing wife; and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the believing husband: otherwise your children should be unclean; but now they are holy.
Where does the bible “strongly” advise against marrying someone of a different faith?

 

[pete_29]

I have been married to a non-Catholic woman for 20 years. She has put up with certain personality Quirks of mine that I don’t think any woman on the face of the earth could have. She is a good wife and a good mother. I was not good enough for all the Catholic girls I grew up with, but my wife accepts me as I am. We respect each others faith. I love her now as much as I did when we were first married. The Priest that performed our marraige didn’t have a problem with her. My parents didn’t have a problem with her. My sister who is a Nun doesn’t have a problem with her,and if you asked my sister and the rest of my family, they would tell you that she was the best thing that ever happened to me. Why does our marraige work . Ask God, He’s the one in control.

 

[leonie]

In my case, when I was dating, religion wasn’t a priority. I had a bad catechesis–barely any Catholic identity. And, I had **no **guidance on choosing a mate.

To this day, I am shocked at my ignorance despite faithful Sunday Mass attendance and 11 years of CCD.

For my own children, I emphasize to them that they should not date or court a nonCatholic.

However, I would say that my wonderful nonCatholic spouse has most definitely been an instrument of God in advancing me in my knowledge of the faith.

He is very supportive of me and the kids though indifferent himself to Catholicism. Knowing how important a strong Catholic father is to the practice of the faith, I do sometimes worry, but must just trust God in this area.

The areas we’ve most struggled with is contraception and (his) Mass attendance. I’ve asked him to attend as a matter of duty to his children, but I don’t push it if he doesn’t go. It just breaks my heart.

 

[kayla]

I think Hopful in UK hit the nail on the head for me.
I was married to a non-catholic christian years ago and recently had our marriaged blessed in the Church.
It wasn’t until 4 years ago that I took my faith seriously
Now I am back in communion with the Catholic Church , I love her more than I ever have:thumbsup: :yup:

 

[Lady_Bug]

No offense to anyone here, but I have absolutely no idea how some people do not take religion into serious consideration when dating. Religion is the first thing I wonder about a potential spouse. Everything else comes second.

Maybe it’s just me.

 

[JimR-OCDS]

No offense to anyone here, but I have absolutely no idea how some people do not take religion into serious consideration when dating. Religion is the first thing I wonder about a potential spouse. Everything else comes second.

Maybe it’s just me.

Well, back 35 years ago, when my hormones were raging, I wasn’t thinking about religion, when my eyes caught sight of the girl who eventually became my wife. We were blessed to be of the same Catholic Faith, even though we pretty much left the Church.

Our first attraction to the other gender is biological, not theological.

Jim

 

[Lady_Bug]

I know, it’s just that even after the initial biological attraction, some people don’t take other things into consideration. They think that the attraction will be enough to overcome theological differences.

 

[JimR-OCDS]

I know, it’s just that even after the initial biological attraction, some people don’t take other things into consideration. They think that the attraction will be enough to overcome theological differences.

Well they usually fall in love with one another, but often its more of a love of passion. This is normal for young couples, and they not only believe they can over come their differences in religion, but everything else that comes with marriage.

However, after a couple years after the passion wears off, they have to choose to love each other, or the marriage will eventually fail.

Of course the best situation is for two people, who are already devote in their faith, to find each other, fall in love and live happily every after.

However, in all marriages, God must be head of the relationship. He is the top of the pyramid, and the couple are at its base. The closer the two move toward God, the closer they move toward each other.

Jim

 

[Harmony1988]

1 Corinthians 7:14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the believing wife; and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the believing husband: otherwise your children should be unclean; but now they are holy.
Where does the bible “strongly” advise against marrying someone of a different faith?

lastdaysmystery.info/do_not_be_yoked_together_with_unbelievers.htm

It makes sense, what was a yoke? Oxen pulled together things with a yoke, if you have one weak and one strong, the strong will be pulling the weak and not getting anywhere.

When two people of the same faith are married, there are less conflicts, they both lead each other to heaven, when there is conflict, it’s a lot harder and the BIBLE ADVISES AGAINST IT

 

[Harmony1988]

I have been married to a non-Catholic woman for 20 years. She has put up with certain personality Quirks of mine that I don’t think any woman on the face of the earth could have. She is a good wife and a good mother. I was not good enough for all the Catholic girls I grew up with, but my wife accepts me as I am. We respect each others faith. I love her now as much as I did when we were first married. The Priest that performed our marraige didn’t have a problem with her. My parents didn’t have a problem with her. My sister who is a Nun doesn’t have a problem with her,and if you asked my sister and the rest of my family, they would tell you that she was the best thing that ever happened to me. Why does our marraige work . Ask God, He’s the one in control.

You are lucky man, and you should thank God for that everyday. You are blessed not to witness such problems in your own marriage, but do understand there are plenty of others that aren’t as lucky. What’s done has been done, whether you are have the good life or not, you have the good life with someone of a different faith. Be Happy

 

[Harmony1988]

No offense to anyone here, but I have absolutely no idea how some people do not take religion into serious consideration when dating. Religion is the first thing I wonder about a potential spouse. Everything else comes second.

Maybe it’s just me.

No, it’s me too and there must be a few others here that believe the same way.

 

[rayne89]

I think like someone else said many people marry at a point where religion is not a central focus. At the beginning of adulthood many go through a period of question their faith or simply putting it on the back burner. And lets face it most of the last few generations were very poorly catechized. For instance I didn’t know the teaching on birthcontrol until I was married for 6 years. And often it’s when the children come that things that didn’t seem so important before suddenly do.
I was lucky my husband agreed to attend Mass me with me after our daughter was born for the sake of family unity. A year later he was asking me how he could become Catholic and the rest is history. I know it doesn’t always work that way. I can’t imagine how hard it must be for parents raising children when the husband and wife adhere to different faiths or one has no faith at all. How do you teach your child that this is the truth when mommy or daddy doesn’t believe it?

 

[leonie]

No offense to anyone here, but I have absolutely no idea how some people do not take religion into serious consideration when dating. Religion is the first thing I wonder about a potential spouse. Everything else comes second.

Maybe it’s just me.

Good for you, Lady Bug!

When I was a young adult with much faith formation, I sincerely thought that it didn’t really matter what religion anyone was as long as they were a Christian.

I’m pretty sure I didn’t even know that Catholics and Protestants were different.

 

[Lady_Bug]

I did like (and still miss) this man and I think he’s a Protestant who goes to this mega-nondenom Church (from what I overheard)

So I do know how it feels to have a tug of war between attraction and religious loyalty It stinks

BTW leonie I was very oblivious to the differences among Christian groups when I first became a Christian; now that I’m seeking Catholicism, Catholicism and Protestantism feel like different faiths to me

 

[AngelRose81]

When I got married I did want to find someone that was the same religion as me (I was Methodist at the time) but as long as they were Christian I was ok. My wonderful husband is still a Methodist (I am now a Catholic) but he has been supportive the entire time. I know I am very lucky to have this as some are not…

BUT what I think that some people don’t realize is how hard it is now to even find a person to date that is even a Christian, much less the same religion!

I know that while I was in college (it was a Methodist college, btw), many many many people were either athiests, agnostics, or diests. I think this is why some don’t consider religion important anymore. And to the OP, there are a lot of Protestants that hold very similiar beliefs to Catholics in things so I don’t think you need to generalize in that aspect.

 

[Lady_Bug]

When I got married I did want to find someone that was the same religion as me (I was Methodist at the time) but as long as they were Christian I was ok. My wonderful husband is still a Methodist (I am now a Catholic) but he has been supportive the entire time. I know I am very lucky to have this as some are not…

BUT what I think that some people don’t realize is how hard it is now to even find a person to date that is even a Christian, much less the same religion!

I know that while I was in college (it was a Methodist college, btw), many many many people were either athiests, agnostics, or diests. I think this is why some don’t consider religion important anymore. And to the OP, there are a lot of Protestants that hold very similiar beliefs to Catholics in things so I don’t think you need to generalize in that aspect.

Do you pray Catholic prayers by yourself or with your husband? Or do you practice Catholicism by yourself? Just asking.

 

[kettle]

No offense to anyone here, but I have absolutely no idea how some people do not take religion into serious consideration when dating. Religion is the first thing I wonder about a potential spouse. Everything else comes second.

Maybe it’s just me.

Perhaps not everyone had religion when they were considering potential spouses.