Why Praise Can Be Bad for Kids

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Why Praise Can Be Bad for Kids

While Specific Praise Can Be Good, Too Much Praise Can Bring Down Kids’ Performance

**By ANN PLESHETTE MURPHY and JENNIFER ALLEN **

Feb. 15, 2007 — - “Wow, you got an A without even studying.”
“Your drawing is wonderful – you’re my little Picasso.”
“Keep it up and you’ll be the next Peyton Manning.”

If you’re like most parents, you offer praise to your children believing it is the key to their success – those flattering words can boost a child’s self-esteem and performance. But according to a new study, praise may do more harm than good.

Praise Can Bring Down Performance

“Contrary to popular belief, praising children’s intelligence did not give them confidence and did not make them learn better,” said Carol Dweck, a professor of developmental psychology at Stanford University and author of “Mindset: The New Psychology of Success.”
Dweck found that children’s performance worsens if they always hear how smart they are. Kids who get too much praise are less likely to take risks, are highly sensitive to failure and are more likely to give up when faced with a challenge.

Boy am I glad to see this. My generation’s parents and teachers never heard of “building self-esteem” but somehow we survived.

 

[deb1]

Interesting study. I think that many teachers and parents loose perspective when it comes to praise. Praise in moderation is a wonderful thing. But we now are taught that kids can never feel bad about themselves and if they do we are awful parents.

During my younger son’s fifth grade class they had a counselor come in frequently to teach the kids self esteem! This was a waste of time. My kids all have a normal degree of self esteem, they don’t need to be constantly told that they are wonderful.

I thought that the study was interesting because it found that praising a child’s effort produced better results then praising them for intelligence.

 

[tom.wineman]

Back in the 1930’s “self esteem” was often confused with conceit.

 

[deb1]

Back in the 1930’s “self esteem” was often confused with conceit.

Many years ago there was a study that showed that violent criminals have the highest level of self esteem!!

 

[Thekla]

Interesting study. I think that many teachers and parents loose perspective when it comes to praise.
…

I thought that the study was interesting because it found that praising a child’s effort produced better results then praising them for intelligence.

I think that you are mixing teachers with parents. It’s most likely parents who have been praising simple intelligence and things like that. Because, in a way they are complimenting themselves because their child is a product of their genetic makeup.

However, I think it’s always been the business of teachers to praise effort. When a student answers a difficult math question, the teacher is most likely to say, “Good work” and not “You’re smart.”

 

[deb1]

I think that you are mixing teachers with parents. It’s most likely parents who have been praising simple intelligence and things like that. Because, in a way they are complimenting themselves because their child is a product of their genetic makeup.

However, I think it’s always been the business of teachers to praise effort. When a student answers a difficult math question, the teacher is most likely to say, “Good work” and not “You’re smart.”

I had a teacher once who informed me that my son had done something wrong in school. If I remember correctly he had a habit of talking during the wrong times. Nothing she did would correct this problem, plus I had already talked with him. As he was being disrespectful of her by talking, I called him over and explained that he was not going to play his game cube thingie(Don’t remember what system they had back then). The teacher grew alarmed and asked me not to punish him because that would make him feel bad. I was flabbergasted. I thought that he should have been made to apologize to her and be punished.

 

[Thekla]

I had a teacher once who informed me that my son had done something wrong in school. If I remember correctly he had a habit of talking during the wrong times. Nothing she did would correct this problem, plus I had already talked with him. As he was being disrespectful of her by talking, I called him over and explained that he was not going to play his game cube thingie(Don’t remember what system they had back then). The teacher grew alarmed and asked me not to punish him because that would make him feel bad. I was flabbergasted. I thought that he should have been made to apologize to her and be punished.

The vast majority of teachers give praise for parents like you.

 

[kell0618]

As with anything in life, moderation is key. I find that many parents praise anything and everything their children do. And then they wonder when the kids can’t function when they reach adulthood…

Kelly
Alex’s Mom

 

[Brad]

The premise of this article is completely off-base. If there is anything lacking in schools these days, it is teaching kids how wonderfully made and capable they are to do great things. The average kid at the mall is depressed because they are attempting to scarf things to make them happy rather than reaching inside to strive for greatness as a person.