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saellis
Guest
oops
i shouldn’t post before 9am
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i shouldn’t post before 9am
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doomguy93
Guest
Yeah, unfortunately, divorce ruins most kids’ perception of marriage for life. “I don’t want to end up like mom and dad, so I’ll never ever ever get married to my girlfriend!” And remarriage? Well, people who remarry divorce too. So your son sees what happened to you, and so all faith-based arguments for marriage fail.
I know someone whose parents aren’t married even though they’re pretty moral and pretty devout Catholics, because one of the partners was previously divorced. This person wanted to ensure that they would never go through the pain and financial hardship again and so said “Nope, I will not marry you. End of story.” This couple is still together after many, many years. And there’s a lot of couples out there like that. Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn are a famous example, they’ve never been married, never will and are completely fine with that and unrepentant about it. Kurt’s scared of marriage because Season Hubley divorced him.
So that sets an even worse example: “Oh man, half of all marriages end in divorce but look at these unmarried couples staying together for decades! Well that’s it, no marriage for me.” The possibility alone of divorce is scary to him.
Unfortunately, like others have said, your son does not care what the Bible says because he does not care about his faith, if he has any at all.
Love is the most powerful factor even moreso, because, “Well, if she doesn’t want to get married, I don’t care because I love her and I’ll do anything to stay with her. Marriage isn’t important, our relationship is.”
Anyone can fall victim to these ways, no matter how devout you think you are. This economy, combined with the reign of cafeteria Catholicism (I know Catholic girls who had kids with their boyfriends, one guy was a devout Born-Again, broke up, and live with new boyfriends and couldn’t care less. They then take these babies to get Baptized. They don’t care at all.), is overwhelming.
Marriage just has too many things going against it now. The way my mother summed it up was, “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?” Only the religious (not just Christians) care. So step 1 is reeling him back in to the faith. Gotta get him to take the faith seriously again. He must understand that God and Jesus are real and they are watching, and they are judging. He must fear the Lord, and he must understand the seriousness of confession and penance.
I know someone whose parents aren’t married even though they’re pretty moral and pretty devout Catholics, because one of the partners was previously divorced. This person wanted to ensure that they would never go through the pain and financial hardship again and so said “Nope, I will not marry you. End of story.” This couple is still together after many, many years. And there’s a lot of couples out there like that. Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn are a famous example, they’ve never been married, never will and are completely fine with that and unrepentant about it. Kurt’s scared of marriage because Season Hubley divorced him.
So that sets an even worse example: “Oh man, half of all marriages end in divorce but look at these unmarried couples staying together for decades! Well that’s it, no marriage for me.” The possibility alone of divorce is scary to him.
Unfortunately, like others have said, your son does not care what the Bible says because he does not care about his faith, if he has any at all.
Love is the most powerful factor even moreso, because, “Well, if she doesn’t want to get married, I don’t care because I love her and I’ll do anything to stay with her. Marriage isn’t important, our relationship is.”
Anyone can fall victim to these ways, no matter how devout you think you are. This economy, combined with the reign of cafeteria Catholicism (I know Catholic girls who had kids with their boyfriends, one guy was a devout Born-Again, broke up, and live with new boyfriends and couldn’t care less. They then take these babies to get Baptized. They don’t care at all.), is overwhelming.
Marriage just has too many things going against it now. The way my mother summed it up was, “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?” Only the religious (not just Christians) care. So step 1 is reeling him back in to the faith. Gotta get him to take the faith seriously again. He must understand that God and Jesus are real and they are watching, and they are judging. He must fear the Lord, and he must understand the seriousness of confession and penance.
T
tamedlion
Guest
Because marriage is a sacrament and as the sacrament of confession is the one that allows forgiveness to happen, then thru the sacrament of marriage is that special graces are received from God even if we make a mess out of it.
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PennyinCanada
Guest
When we are learning to drive a car we have to learn the rules of the road. Pass a test. Learn how to operate a car, have an experienced driver with us. At some point we get our license, and it costs money as well. So does a car, and gas, and insurance, and repairs. Why go through all this trouble? There’s a freedom there. We need the rules of the road because we are sharing the road with a million other people who hopefully are also following the rules.
The rules of the Church are there to help us navigate this life and live peaceably with the other million people who share this planet. That more people would at least follow the 10 commandments, what an improved world this would be. No stealing. No adultery. No children born out of wedlock. Think a moment on these things. Our prisons are busting. There are millions and millions of abortions. I wish that everyone would follow the 10 commandments whether they believed in God or not.
God designed men and women, married life, children having both a dad and a mum. Family. If you think you can go forward in life without trying to follow his plan for your life, you are like the guy who finds red lights just too restrictive. Driving on the right side of the road too confining. Then there’s icy roads, poor visibility, maybe car failure. Things can go sideways. Having God in your life, his help, his hand in your life, now who wouldn’t want that? Who wouldn’t want the kind of help that only God can give? When you do something stupid with the car, the accident can be quite immediate. The consequences for yourself and others tragic. But when we go through life without God, it’s when you look back and find it was a slow motion train wreck.
It’s smart to ask God for help. To do your best to do it his way. To ask for his guidance. Leave the train wrecks to other people.
Honor God in your singleness. In your dating, in your married life. There are no regrets there.
The rules of the Church are there to help us navigate this life and live peaceably with the other million people who share this planet. That more people would at least follow the 10 commandments, what an improved world this would be. No stealing. No adultery. No children born out of wedlock. Think a moment on these things. Our prisons are busting. There are millions and millions of abortions. I wish that everyone would follow the 10 commandments whether they believed in God or not.
God designed men and women, married life, children having both a dad and a mum. Family. If you think you can go forward in life without trying to follow his plan for your life, you are like the guy who finds red lights just too restrictive. Driving on the right side of the road too confining. Then there’s icy roads, poor visibility, maybe car failure. Things can go sideways. Having God in your life, his help, his hand in your life, now who wouldn’t want that? Who wouldn’t want the kind of help that only God can give? When you do something stupid with the car, the accident can be quite immediate. The consequences for yourself and others tragic. But when we go through life without God, it’s when you look back and find it was a slow motion train wreck.
It’s smart to ask God for help. To do your best to do it his way. To ask for his guidance. Leave the train wrecks to other people.
Honor God in your singleness. In your dating, in your married life. There are no regrets there.
H
heidi_storage
Guest
It’s the only moral context in which to have sex.
It’s a picture of Christ and the church.
It’s a picture of Christ and the church.
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3DOCTORS
Guest
When God made covenants with His people, each one marked a beginning of something with the potential to become great. So it is with marriage. Ideally it is the commencement of a new family. Even if fertility problems were to preclude childbearing, the marital bond between the spouses still is a treasure, and together they are more than the sum of two individuals.
When I was a young girl, as an only child because my mother had health issues, I would go to family gatherings, look round at my cousins, and dream of marrying and having several children - and getting together with those same cousins and their children and just enjoying the gathering of the clan. This hope grew even stronger as I saw the older cousins getting married and starting families.
Then, at some point in the 1970s, as with many others, my family started to see the rot set in. Divorces, shotgun weddings and out of wedlock births, all the things that have sadly become the “new normal.”
My own dating life was a struggle to avoid the guys who wanted sex without commitment on one side, and those who were commitment phobic loners on the other. I ended up never marrying. And I’m thankful I never married the wrong man, and I let God help me find ways to be a spiritual mother, but I can’t pretend it wouldn’t have been nice to have seen my original vision come to pass. :twocents:So, if you can get anything out of this comparison to help your son see why the “old-fashioned” ways had a lot to recommend them, maybe it’ll give him food for thought.
A
Andrea_Day
Guest
- Status