WHY won't God respond to my need?

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george92 said:
alright. i don’t want a girlfriend…i NEED a girlfriend. I pray and pray every single day for one for over an hour, help out a lot at my church, talk to tons of young ladies, as a result…NO GIRLFRIEND. unlike most men, i need a lady to have around just to cuddle, hang out, and do stuff.

God provides for our needs. Why won’t he provide for this one? its driving me to the point of craziness. advice? ( please no smart-a** remarks or advice…it doesn’t do me any favors)
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You don’t want advice or correction. What do you want, pity? False assurances that you can ask for a good thing from the entirely wrong attitude and expect a good result?

Well, I can only say that maybe God is listening to the prayers of your future girlfriend, too…“Please, Lord–a good one, the right one, but this time not a needy one. Please!!” If you think that is a smart-a** remark, well, you’re thinking primarily about yourself. In that case, so far Heaven is giving you the right answer.

Just BTW: Are you cultivating any male friends? *Guys *to hang out with? Groups to hang out with? You’d be wise not to expect to hang all your social needs on one young woman. Have a life; don’t put your life on hold waiting for a wife to materialize when you’ve done no work to have a greater social circle of friends to offer her to share with you.
 
I was given some advice by my mom as a teenager, and I’ve never forgotten it. She told me “If you ever need to be in a relationship then that’s the last thing you should do”. And she’s right. If you are not ok enough with yourself and your own life then you cannot have a healthy relationship with another person. It wouldn’t be fair to you or them.

On another note, neediness is extremely unattractive and often times even creepy. Women may be picking up on that and avoiding you.
 
BlueEyedLady said:
I was given some advice by my mom as a teenager, and I’ve never forgotten it. She told me “If you ever need to be in a relationship then that’s the last thing you should do”. And she’s right. If you are not ok enough with yourself and your own life then you cannot have a healthy relationship with another person. It wouldn’t be fair to you or them.
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That’s not what God said when He created woman for man.
 
Norseman82 said:
That’s not what God said when He created woman for man.
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Adam did not have any guys to hang out with, and it was not Adam who said, “Lord, it’s not good for me to be alone”. Remember, too, what God had in mind for Jacob…seven years of labor for his FIL-to-be Laban before he got a wife, and fourteen before he was out of there. Our OP isn’t even out of college.
 
Ok, George, I read some of your other posts and there appear to be some areas of your life you do need to work on.
 
Norseman82 said:
That’s not what God said when He created woman for man.
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I don’t think you understood what she was saying. If you aren’t mature enough or comfortable enough with yourself to be single even just for a short period of time, then you probably aren’t ready to give what you need to in a relationship. It isn’t just about what you get out of it, but what you can give as well. I dated when I felt that I needed a man to be complete/ for selfish reasons and all of those relationships ended bad. When I didn’t feel I needed a relationship and was confident and independent, I then got into a relationship with my now husband. Live and learn pal.
 
TrixieMcGee said:
I don’t think you understood what she was saying. If you aren’t mature enough or comfortable enough with yourself to be single even just for a short period of time, then you probably aren’t ready to give what you need to in a relationship. It isn’t just about what you get out of it, but what you can give as well. I dated when I felt that I needed a man to be complete/ for selfish reasons and all of those relationships ended bad. When I didn’t feel I needed a relationship and was confident and independent, I then got into a relationship with my now husband. Live and learn pal.
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Having something to give is one thing, as is being hasty. But to take it to the extreme that you have to accept being alone first is illogical (I know logic is like a mortal sin for many here at CAF, but too bad). Let’s think about this for a minute. How many seminarians leave the seminary because they determine they cannot handle lifelong celibacy and so they seek wives? By the logic of “you need to accept being alone before you can have a healthy relationship”, these seminarians are doomed to unhealthy relationships.
TrixieMcGee said:
Live and learn pal.
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You too, sweetie…
 
Norseman82 said:
Having something to give is one thing, as is being hasty. But to take it to the extreme that you have to accept being alone first is illogical (I know logic is like a mortal sin for many here at CAF, but too bad). Let’s think about this for a minute. How many seminarians leave the seminary because they determine they cannot handle lifelong celibacy and so they seek wives? By the logic of “you need to accept being alone before you can have a healthy relationship”, these seminarians are doomed to unhealthy relationships.

You too, sweetie…
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Ya, you totally didn’t get what she was saying. If that is what you think they or I am saying, then you are mistaken. It has nothing to do with accepting being alone. It has to do with being comfortable with yourself and not feeling you need a relationship. You may want a relationship and that is fine and normal, but needing one isn’t. Just like when you feel you need sex, you don’t need sex, you want it, yes it contributes greatly to your happiness, but you don’t need it. I don’t need a relationship, yes it contributes greatly to my happiness, but I don’t need it. The big thing is separating need and want.

Need is something that you cannot live without like, food, water, air, or shelter. While wants and desires are something that may contribute to your happiness, but you will not die without.

P.S. If every man needs a woman and every woman needs a man, then we would have a whole lot of dead Priests, Monks, and Nuns out there. lol.
 
TrixieMcGee said:
Ya, you totally didn’t get what she was saying. If that is what you think they or I am saying, then you are mistaken. It has nothing to do with accepting being alone. It has to do with being comfortable with yourself and not feeling you need a relationship. You may want a relationship and that is fine and normal, but needing one isn’t. Just like when you feel you need sex, you don’t need sex, you want it, yes it contributes greatly to your happiness, but you don’t need it. I don’t need a relationship, yes it contributes greatly to my happiness, but I don’t need it. The big thing is separating need and want.

Need is something that you cannot live without like, food, water, air, or shelter. While wants and desires are something that may contribute to your happiness, but you will not die without.
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Then why did God say that it is not good for the man to be alone? Why did St. Paul say better to be married than to burn? Why does the CCC state that the vocation to marriage is written into our very nature and comes from the hand of God?
TrixieMcGee said:
Need is something that you cannot live without like, food, water, air, or shelter. While wants and desires are something that may contribute to your happiness, but you will not die without.
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Maybe not physically, but emotionally and/or spiritually.
TrixieMcGee said:
P.S. If every man needs a woman and every woman needs a man, then we would have a whole lot of dead Priests, Monks, and Nuns out there. lol.
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Some can handle lifelong celibacy; others cannot. Some are given the supernatural grace; others are not. Did not Christ say as much when He talked about the eunuchs for the kingdom?
 
Norseman82 said:
Then why did God say that it is not good for the man to be alone? Why did St. Paul say better to be married than to burn? Why does the CCC state that the vocation to marriage is written into our very nature and comes from the hand of God?

Maybe not physically, but emotionally and/or spiritually.

Some can handle lifelong celibacy; others cannot. Some are given the supernatural grace; others are not. Did not Christ say as much when He talked about the eunuchs for the kingdom?
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Okay man, you obviously don’t get what I am saying and I don’t know how to explain it any clearer. Not worth arguing with you if you aren’t getting what I am saying. I am not questioning whether marriage is a good or wonderful thing, or if it is part of human nature to want a relationship, ect. I am talking about attitudes alone and being ready or not for a relationship. I can’t explain myself any clearer and you are reading way too much into things and saying I am saying things that I am totally not.
 
Any catholic feel free to correct or add to what I’m saying, but I think even from a catholic perspective norseman is wrong. Marriage is a vocation, a calling by god to serve and glorify him through family. Going in to it because “I want” or “I need” is is the wrong way and wrong reason to undertake any vocation.
 
BlueEyedLady said:
Any catholic feel free to correct or add to what I’m saying, but I think even from a catholic perspective norseman is wrong. Marriage is a vocation, a calling by god to serve and glorify him through family. Going in to it because “I want” or “I need” is is the wrong way and wrong reason to undertake any vocation.
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There we go. I couldn’t find the right words and here they are.
 
TrixieMcGee said:
Okay man, you obviously don’t get what I am saying and I don’t know how to explain it any clearer. Not worth arguing with you if you aren’t getting what I am saying. I am not questioning whether marriage is a good or wonderful thing, or if it is part of human nature to want a relationship, ect. I am talking about attitudes alone and being ready or not for a relationship. I can’t explain myself any clearer and you are reading way too much into things and saying I am saying things that I am totally not.
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But the whole question of the “need” for a relationship goes to basic questions about our human nature.
 
BlueEyedLady said:
Any catholic feel free to correct or add to what I’m saying, but I think even from a catholic perspective norseman is wrong. Marriage is a vocation, a calling by god to serve and glorify him through family. Going in to it because “I want” or “I need” is is the wrong way and wrong reason to undertake any vocation.
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According to Catholic teaching, the vocation to marriage is already written into our human nature, so we don’t have to wait to determine if we have a vocation to marriage; it’s already there. We only need to discern if we have a vocation to something other than marriage, i.e., “virginity for the sake of the kingdom”, further defined by the Church as priestly ministry or consecrated life.
 
Norse, are you married? I have a suspicion you aren’t. Having the “I want” or “I need” mentality is the wrong and frankly a selfish mentality to go into a relationship for. It should be about furthering the kingdom, not about what you want for yourself.
 
TrixieMcGee said:
Norse, are you married? I have a suspicion you aren’t. Having the “I want” or “I need” mentality is the wrong and frankly a selfish mentality to go into a relationship for. It should be about furthering the kingdom, not about what you want for yourself.
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It’s how we’re built. It’s what the good of society is based on. Don’t call it selfish. The selfishness belongs to the people who not only refuse to make themselves available for marriage (except for callings to religious life), but also criticize those who seek marriage.
 
Norseman82 said:
It’s how we’re built. It’s what the good of society is based on. Don’t call it selfish. The selfishness belongs to the people who not only refuse to make themselves available for marriage (except for callings to religious life), but also criticize those who seek marriage.
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Who’s criticizing those who seek marriage?

Furthermore the OP isn’t saying that he wants a family, or that he’s even ready to undertake marriage. He says he “needs” someone to cuddle with and talk to. That is even less of a legitimate need.
 
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