Why would a man act like this with me?

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I think he likes you. We guys are weird that way, we don’t say things outright. Instead, we externalize (show off, try to impress) or internalize (act shy and awkward.) Both are “natural”, but they can cause confusion. 😃
 
Lorelei12 said:
Also, I noticed in another thread that you say you feel called to religious life and are actively pursuing joining an order, and that you know you are not called to marriage.

If that is true, does it really matter whether this man likes you or not?
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I’m only a new convert and in that year since being Catholic I looked into religious life, which is still an option but I have my doubts and a lot has changed. Even if I was called I would have to wait another 2 years so who knows, that is God’s will.

I am torn between marriage and religious life but whenever I meet a guy I like it makes me want marriage, so yes it would matter if he liked me because I would be interested in pursing a relationship. If it’s not to be then I will accept it but will feel disappointed.
 
Lorelei12 said:
It is possible that he has an interest in you- but if you are both adults, ignoring and avoiding someone is not a very mature way of showing it.
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Yes we are adults so I was offended by his behaviour at first but it was only this week it struck me that he might be acting this way not out of rudeness but out of being shy.
 
josh987654321 said:
😃 It sounds like you have described me to a T.

Gemma, I believe you are overthinking his actions, I would be exactly like the guy you have described, and I would probably be overthinking it too hence the mixed signals.

I believe there is only one way to know for sure and that would be to look for an opportunity to introduce yourself to him, to get to know him as a friend and than it will progress from there wherever it may go, but don’t over think it, it will all progress in due course wherever it goes. He certainly doesn’t dislike you and he is definately shy. I am usually outgoing amongst people I know or have met before, but I am very shy and probably awkward around people I have never met before (especially if they are with other people, I have never introduced my self to a group of people before) and I find it difficult to find a good opportunity to introduce myself, it’s something that I definately need to work on.

Perhaps we could figure out a way that you can open up an opportunity for him to introduce himself to you or for you to introduce yourself to him?

May I ask what parish activities he is involved in?

God Bless

Thank you for reading
Josh
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Josh, I noticed you’re in Australia and so am I so now I’m afraid if I tell you what he is involved with in the parish you might know him! I know there’s hundreds of churches in Aus but there’s a tiny chance right? Lol
Nah I’m just being cautious about privacy on the internet, he’s involved in what I would consider the more boring business side of the parish… But our priest knows him and he knows me too so maybe the priest could introduce us? We are a small parish anyway
 
_Gemma said:
Yes we are adults so I was offended by his behaviour at first but it was only this week it struck me that he might be acting this way not out of rudeness but out of being shy.
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Even so, I would not want to pursue dating anyone who acted like he was in middle school. My husband is rather shy too, but he got over it. I was the first woman he ever asked out. Anyone he’s ever dated before had done the asking. If a man likes you enough, he will act like a man.

I would also advise that if you have doubts about religious life but are also not sure about marriage, it is best to figure that out before you date anyone. It is not fair to a man to date him if you are not even sure that you are called to marriage. Using a relationship to help you figure it out is unwise. If this man is interested, he deserves to date someone who knows she is called to marriage and is looking for the same thing.
 
He probably likes you, but none of us can really answer your question. We’re not him, so we don’t know his motives. But, not everybody will like you in life. If he is avoiding you, I would let him. That doesn’t mean to avoid him, or to not be friendly, but why push him? If he likes you and you are consistently friendly and kind, he will warm up enough to ask you on a date. If he is not interested and you are consistently friendly and kind, he will not warm up enough to ask you on a date and will likely not form a friendship. And that is ok. 🤷
 
_Gemma said:
Josh, I noticed you’re in Australia and so am I so now I’m afraid if I tell you what he is involved with in the parish you might know him! I know there’s hundreds of churches in Aus but there’s a tiny chance right? Lol
Nah I’m just being cautious about privacy on the internet, he’s involved in what I would consider the more boring business side of the parish… But our priest knows him and he knows me too so maybe the priest could introduce us? We are a small parish anyway
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Lol, you’ve sparked my curiosity, I need a hint 😃
 
_Gemma said:
I’m posting this to anyone that knows more about the behaviour of males than I do, which will probably be most people.
At my new parish, there is a young man who acts awkward in a way when I’m around, or avoids me. Like he happily and confidently speaks to others and volunteers with Parish things but avoids me, even so diliberately turning away if I’m walking past him.
He’s never spoken to me before but he has smiled at me once.
I thought he was so rude at first but now I’m thinking** perhaps he’s interested in me**? Is this something a man could do if he likes a woman?
Any idea?
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That would be my guess.
 
That’s similar to what I was doing as a 22 year old bloke more than 2 decades ago. I liked this lovely girl while in uni (she was in a different college but we belonged to the same club) but I was too shy to approach or even utter a word to her. She thought I was a snob until I had the courage to have a conversation with her one day.
 
may i politely suggest that we are jumping the gun a bit?

he doens’t know you, you don’t know him. why are we already talking about dating?

maybe you could just introduce yourself. “hey, i don’t believe i’ve seen you around, are you new here?” get to know the guy then you’ll know what’s going on. maybe he does like you, maybe you will start liking him and want to pursure a relationshis or maybe you’ll just be friends.

it’s hard being in a new place with people you don’t know, believe me, i’m not a guy but i’m one of those shy types that can’t just go up to a group of people who already know each other and start talking
 
He definitely likes you. I’m a guy. I remember being like that in high school. I didn’t know how to act around girls. If a girl looked at me, I turned away. I didn’t know what to say. Now I try to treat men and women equally with love as Jesus did, but I am generally a quiet person when meeting strangers.

I have a very quiet voice for some reason, so I usually can’t be heard in a group setting unless I yell really hard. Then it is just overdoing it. I will listen for a while, waiting for there to be a quiet moment before saying anything. Some people get annoyed by this, thinking I am staring, but it’s just a flaw with my voice. I can’t talk loud enough. One on one I am much more comfortable. There are way more openings to say things.
 
_Gemma said:
No that doesn’t answer my question. As I said he talks to everyone else and is confident enough to volunteer around the Parish but only acts shy/awkward/weird with me.
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I’ve got a bunch of male friends and the behavior you’re describing is usually when a guy has taken a fancy to a girl, but is too shy to talk to her.
 
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