A
Allegra
Guest
I’ve got a step-mother who is just not quite right. There’s no better way to put it as I’m not aware of a clinical term that describes her precisely. (I’ve heard a lot of less clinical terms used however.) Most people would just call her “weird”.
She has no concept of social boundaries. For example, she seems to think that every stranger she encounters needs to know that my sister had a pap smear today or the whole epic tale of when my brother passed a kidney stone. She memorizes the minute details of the everyday lives of every one she encounters, even when she’ll never see the person again. Even so, it never seems like she’s listening to you when you talk to her because she’s always talking about something else.
Anyway, one of her more irritating quirks is that she’s a compulsive copycat and this has manifested itself recently into every gift-giving occasion. For example, my mother made my niece an Easter dress a few years back, So, despite the fact that Easter was only being celebrated once that particular year, she decided to buy a second Easter dress for my niece.
When my daughter was born, someone gave us a huge play piano. During Christmas, my stepmother started telling us how much our girl loved music and needed a play piano. We both quickly told her that we already had one and we hated it because it was too noisy, too bulky, and we didn’t have space to keep it. Sure enough, Christmas day found a play piano under the tree. We pointed out again that we already had one and she smiled and said, “Well this one was on sale at Costco so now she can have two!”
(For when other infants come over and want to play duets?) We discretely asked my dad for the receipt and returned it.
Over the summer, my daughter was spending a lot more time outdoors and getting a lot more physical and so I sought out the perfect ride-on toy. I posted a photo on facebook of my girl, proudly riding her new toy, which my step-mother “liked”. She liked it so much that two months later, she arrived with a new ride-on toy for my daughter’s birthday. I reminder her that I had just bought her one and she smiled and said, “Well, now she can have two and besides, this one has Elsa on it!” She had already taken it ought of the box so we couldn’t return it that time.
So, this Christmas, I had a brand new baby. Two weeks before he was born, I was home from work with a horrible cough. My stepmother called to see how I was and I told her I was doing my Christmas shopping early online. Without thinking, I proceeded to describe the toys I was purchasing for my kids. Months later, when we were celebrating Christmas with my dad, I opened up precisely the exact presents I had purchased for my son, including a custom wooden train that had the letters of his name spelled out on it. As she watched me open the name train, which I had discussed with her on several occasions and which I had been really excited about, she smiled and said, “I know you already got him one, but this one is bigger and it’s better because it has magnets on it and now he can have two!”
Fortunately, I’m breastfeeding, so I had not been drinking.
I did not yell or call her names. I did not ram the train down her throat or even throw it across the room. I told her that I had put a great deal of thought and love into the gifts that I had chosen for my kids and that I was hurt that she had decided to copy me. She then proceeded to deny that she had known what I was getting, forgetting that she had just admitted that she had known. She then tried to say that she had bought her train first and I asked why she hadn’t told me that she’d bought one the multiple times I’d discussed it with her. Not having an answer for that she began to wail and moan about having “double pneumonia” over the summer and how she was going to lose her house. At that point, my husband and I left with my stepmother screaming at me that I need to “check my hormones”.
I’m just really tired of this. It’s obvious that she is mentally ill and has limited abilities to control herself but that doesn’t mean that her actions don’t hurt and don’t have an effect on me and my family. How much BS is a step-daughter obligated to put up with?
She has no concept of social boundaries. For example, she seems to think that every stranger she encounters needs to know that my sister had a pap smear today or the whole epic tale of when my brother passed a kidney stone. She memorizes the minute details of the everyday lives of every one she encounters, even when she’ll never see the person again. Even so, it never seems like she’s listening to you when you talk to her because she’s always talking about something else.
Anyway, one of her more irritating quirks is that she’s a compulsive copycat and this has manifested itself recently into every gift-giving occasion. For example, my mother made my niece an Easter dress a few years back, So, despite the fact that Easter was only being celebrated once that particular year, she decided to buy a second Easter dress for my niece.
When my daughter was born, someone gave us a huge play piano. During Christmas, my stepmother started telling us how much our girl loved music and needed a play piano. We both quickly told her that we already had one and we hated it because it was too noisy, too bulky, and we didn’t have space to keep it. Sure enough, Christmas day found a play piano under the tree. We pointed out again that we already had one and she smiled and said, “Well this one was on sale at Costco so now she can have two!”
(For when other infants come over and want to play duets?) We discretely asked my dad for the receipt and returned it.Over the summer, my daughter was spending a lot more time outdoors and getting a lot more physical and so I sought out the perfect ride-on toy. I posted a photo on facebook of my girl, proudly riding her new toy, which my step-mother “liked”. She liked it so much that two months later, she arrived with a new ride-on toy for my daughter’s birthday. I reminder her that I had just bought her one and she smiled and said, “Well, now she can have two and besides, this one has Elsa on it!” She had already taken it ought of the box so we couldn’t return it that time.
So, this Christmas, I had a brand new baby. Two weeks before he was born, I was home from work with a horrible cough. My stepmother called to see how I was and I told her I was doing my Christmas shopping early online. Without thinking, I proceeded to describe the toys I was purchasing for my kids. Months later, when we were celebrating Christmas with my dad, I opened up precisely the exact presents I had purchased for my son, including a custom wooden train that had the letters of his name spelled out on it. As she watched me open the name train, which I had discussed with her on several occasions and which I had been really excited about, she smiled and said, “I know you already got him one, but this one is bigger and it’s better because it has magnets on it and now he can have two!”
Fortunately, I’m breastfeeding, so I had not been drinking.
I did not yell or call her names. I did not ram the train down her throat or even throw it across the room. I told her that I had put a great deal of thought and love into the gifts that I had chosen for my kids and that I was hurt that she had decided to copy me. She then proceeded to deny that she had known what I was getting, forgetting that she had just admitted that she had known. She then tried to say that she had bought her train first and I asked why she hadn’t told me that she’d bought one the multiple times I’d discussed it with her. Not having an answer for that she began to wail and moan about having “double pneumonia” over the summer and how she was going to lose her house. At that point, my husband and I left with my stepmother screaming at me that I need to “check my hormones”.
I’m just really tired of this. It’s obvious that she is mentally ill and has limited abilities to control herself but that doesn’t mean that her actions don’t hurt and don’t have an effect on me and my family. How much BS is a step-daughter obligated to put up with?
