G
Gerard_Nadal
Guest
Hi There,
I’m sorry about the loss of your husband. That’s a real blow.
About your current dilemma. 26 years of marriage that ended not in divorce, but in God calling your husband home tells me something about your sense of fidelity. So does the number of men with whom you have shared the best of yourself.
It’s not unreasonable to believe that after two years, a heart that has spent a lifetime in reciprocal loving should have begun to ache for companionship, for another to love. It may also be a part of longing for your husband, and not be all about this new man. It speaks volumes about your quality and how you have developed further than many. However, it seems that your restless heart may have gotten out in front of the more rational, thoughtful part of yourself.
In your marriage, I’m sure that in a thousand ways big and small, you learned how to die to yourself for your husband’s good and the good of your marriage, not to mention your relationship with the Lord. Love motivated you to do this. Don’t stop now, for your sake, for your relationship with the Lord, for this new man in your life.
It’s been over a quarter of a century since you have dated. You’re good at being married. It’s the rules about dating that you need a refresher on. I honestly believe that if you go ahead with this rationalization for sleeping together, you’ll come to regret it. If you are both the Catholics that you say, you will stay faithful to the Lord as you discern the next step.
Is there an impediment to marriage on his part? Many people lose social security and pension benefits in the trade-up to marriage with another. You cannot discern the leading of the Holy Spirit with your restless heart if you are fornicating. We both know that objectivity goes out the window the minute the clothes come off.
Your fidelity is the jewel in the crown that you have fashioned over a lifetime. Now, in your late fifties, is not the time to throw all that away. Take your time. And for your restless heart, remember Saint Augustine’s words:
“You have made us for Yourself, O Lord, and our hearts are restless until they rest in You.”
God Bless You
I’m sorry about the loss of your husband. That’s a real blow.
About your current dilemma. 26 years of marriage that ended not in divorce, but in God calling your husband home tells me something about your sense of fidelity. So does the number of men with whom you have shared the best of yourself.
It’s not unreasonable to believe that after two years, a heart that has spent a lifetime in reciprocal loving should have begun to ache for companionship, for another to love. It may also be a part of longing for your husband, and not be all about this new man. It speaks volumes about your quality and how you have developed further than many. However, it seems that your restless heart may have gotten out in front of the more rational, thoughtful part of yourself.
In your marriage, I’m sure that in a thousand ways big and small, you learned how to die to yourself for your husband’s good and the good of your marriage, not to mention your relationship with the Lord. Love motivated you to do this. Don’t stop now, for your sake, for your relationship with the Lord, for this new man in your life.
It’s been over a quarter of a century since you have dated. You’re good at being married. It’s the rules about dating that you need a refresher on. I honestly believe that if you go ahead with this rationalization for sleeping together, you’ll come to regret it. If you are both the Catholics that you say, you will stay faithful to the Lord as you discern the next step.
Is there an impediment to marriage on his part? Many people lose social security and pension benefits in the trade-up to marriage with another. You cannot discern the leading of the Holy Spirit with your restless heart if you are fornicating. We both know that objectivity goes out the window the minute the clothes come off.
Your fidelity is the jewel in the crown that you have fashioned over a lifetime. Now, in your late fifties, is not the time to throw all that away. Take your time. And for your restless heart, remember Saint Augustine’s words:
“You have made us for Yourself, O Lord, and our hearts are restless until they rest in You.”
God Bless You
