Wife asked why I didn't receive Communion

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In Pre-Vatican II days it was a little easier. You could always just say “I broke my fast.” And it could always be true even if the underlying reason was a mortal sin. All it took to break your fast was a drink of water in the morning before Mass.

I came upon this article from a secular website, just an opinion piece:

 
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Tis_Bearself said:
It’s your wife. How about you tell her whatever the truth is?
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Yes, definitely. I’m not getting the answers of circumventing the truth from your spouse. “I would never ask you,” and “why do you ask?” are not, IMHO, the answers your spouse wants to hear.
 
JimG said:
In Pre-Vatican II days it was a little easier. You could always just say “I broke my fast.” And it could always be true even if the underlying reason was a mortal sin. All it took to break your fast was a drink of water in the morning before Mass.

I came upon this article from a secular website, just an opinion piece:
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You’re advocating lies to your spouse. Why? I also do not agree with any of the 13 secrets in the article at all. In all cases, someday, sometime, the truth will be known which will only create more anxiety and distrust. Honesty is the best policy; get it all out in the open at the beginning of any relationship. Treat it as “confession.”
 
No they are not. But she has no right to the truth, so kindly telling her that her question is inappropriate is likely the correct response.
 
tafan2 said:
No they are not. But she has no right to the truth, so kindly telling her that her question is inappropriate is likely the correct response.
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According to you, and those that prefer that approach. The thing is, this is not a universal rule that means it is wrong for one to ask.

There may be respectful ways to answer without actually revealing the sin, such as, “I did something wrong, I believe I should confess it to the ministerial priest and Jesus in the Sacrament, but I can’t seem to bring myself to telling you, because it’s embarrassing and I have pride. I guess I better confess that while I’m there too.”
 
This is my last post on this thread. All y’all are doing now is arguing the same two points back and forth.

It’s very obvious, that for some couples, they are comfortable with telling each other their sins. Just as a few of us here stated that we discuss our sins with our spouses. I have zero issues telling my spouse, but maybe that’s because when I’m tempted, I think about having to tell a priest that son AND the want to tell my wife everything. This is one of the reasons that I don’t struggle as much as I used to.

It is equally obvious, that other couples do not want to and/or are uncomfortable with the idea of telling their spouse their sins.

Both sides are okay. If you don’t mind, go for it. If it bothers you, respectfully tell your spouse that it is uncomfortable for you or you view it as inappropriate.

I hope everyone on here takes a deep breathe before they continue to post. Some of these replies are way more heated than they need to be.

God Bless
 
Maybe it’s just me, but I’m not seeing a big “heated” discussion here.

Additionally, the question has morphed a bit from just “should you tell your wife?” to “is it church teaching that your wife has no right to ask?” as apparently someone was taught this in school.

I am sure every couple is able to work this out for themselves, but every time we have a thread involving whether to tell your spouse that you sinned (especially when it’s a sin of lust), there is always a debate along these same lines. It’s pretty normal here.
 
It may just be the way I’m reading it that it seems heated to me. I don’t always do well reading the time over the internet or text lol
 
Yes. Some think it’s an inappropriate question no matter what, because their spouse and themselves do not appreciate it.

This is a false assumption to conclude that it is objectively wrong to ask. Lying is objectively wrong, or stealing is objectively wrong, but not asking your spouse why you aren’t receiving Eucharist.

Some people are looking for their spouse to reach out!!! Some would be relieved their spouse cares and can open up about their faith journey, whether pretty or not!
 
“Being embarrassed” is not a sin. Heavens, life is not that complicated.

“Why didn’t you go to confession?”

“I wasn’t disposed to receive. Do you want to go to Hector’s for brunch?”
 
“TheLittleLady said:
“Being embarrassed” is not a sin. Heavens, life is not that complicated.
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That depends. It can be the sin of pride. Obviously the sin seems very serious to the one not receiving Jesus. So much so that it is a breach from their relationship with Jesus if not confessed until receiving!
 
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So now you think it’s a even a sin to not tell your spouse about your sins? Seriously?
 
I suppose it may be possible. But this thread is based on the question of “why didn’t you go to communion”. That is a question which is general, it is asking about any possible mortal sin. So a sin that should be told to a spouse in a specific (rare?) case is irrelevent to the question at hand.

Do you agree with the this statement: " A person has no general (absolute) right to know about their spouse’s sins." ?
 
tafan2 said:
Do you agree with the this statement: " A person has no general (absolute) right to know about their spouse’s sins." ?
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No, I don’t agree.

Oh, correction! Yes, some sins are not necessary to confess to your spouse.

And sometimes, a confession and apology is what a remorseful person does.
 
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“I would have already discussed with him for an hour what was bugging me before it got to the point of me not going to Communion.”

Only an hour?
 
That’s probably about all he would have wanted to hear before his eyes glazed over or he fell asleep.

My husband reminded me of one of my favorite books by Melanie Thernstrom where she described her then-boyfriend, “He has many nice mooselike qualities”. Except for my husband I probably would have said “bearlike”. Neither mooses nor bears want to spend a lot of time conversing. They prefer to eat and relax.
 
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I’ve always wanted to master the art of sleeping soundly while nodding occasionally, with my eyes wide open. 😃
 
I did not ask if some sins are not necessary to report to your spouse. Close but not quite.
Let’s try again, I will reword the question for clarity (the meaning is identical).
Are there sins that a spouse does not have a right to know?
 
tafan2 said:
I did not ask if some sins are not necessary to report to your spouse. Close but not quite.
Let’s try again, I will reword the question for clarity (the meaning is identical).
Are there sins that a spouse does not have a right to know?
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I would think so, yes. A good approach to this could be, “Honey, why aren’t you receiving? Would you like to share, or Is there something I should know about?”
 
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