Wife is protestant

[Castello]

catholicprotestant.com/

Order the Common Ground DVD and study guide.

After that, try Fr Barron’s “CATHOLICISM” DVDs.

Steve Ray “Footprints of God”.

Learn about the Church together with your wife.

Oh, and don’t forget “I’m Not Being Fed” you can get the book or the Kindle version!

amazon.com/Not-Being-Fed-Discovering-Satisfies/dp/1932645330/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1328209403&sr=1-1

 

[TheRealJuliane]

They did not marry outside the Church. The OP stated they went through all the proper channels to have a valid marriage in the Church. They married in a Protestant church but wtih dispensation to do so.

I meant when Catholics marry outside our faith.

Sorry for any confusion. I understand the difference. One can have all the dispensations there are but if the spouse starts balking, there are going to be problems.

 

[mamaslo]

Thank you everyone for responding so quickly.

mamaslo - very well said and point taken. I just think it will confuse the kids later if we end up going to two churces.

I totally agree. But for now that is the future. I do not think I handled my kids situation right, at least I feel guilty for the reaction I got from their dad. but thankfully, he is slowly coming around, but may or may not forgive what he thinks is an in justice. although you did agree to raise them Catholic.

Maybe an appointment with a priest would help you figure this out. I have been told by other people, “well, other Christians are going to heaven too” which doesn’t solve anything. “If I had known you were going back to the Catholic Church, I would have never married you.”…he refused to go to his own church because of the questions…“Where’s your wife and kids?”, so he didn’t go anywhere. Kind of a grown up hissy fit that has lasted for over a decade.

I, just yesterday, looked up on the united states catholic bishops website…usccb.org and clicked on the menu item for issues and action then marriage and family and it has a link to foryourmarriage.org and they have a page on interfaith marriages ( foryourmarriage.org/catholic-marriage/church-teachings/interfaith-marriages/ ) and it addresses the issues…I put it as a question under Liturgy and Sacraments on this forum and got one person who thought he saw nothing wrong on the site, but underneath at the links there is a link for interchurch families…to me it sounded so liberal.

to me the two church idea, keeps you from bonding too much with the body of Christ…it limits ministry outside of the home but on the other hand…if you try it now before kids maybe she will soften up to other ideas. Maybe you two could sign up for RCIA together so she can learn about your faith (and you too)…there are little things to try. I always hoped that since I was called home, I wouldn’t be the only one. Out of fear for my soul and the souls of my children that the beliefs, even if they also kept me moving forward, could put what they know as truth in jeapordy.

So I have harmed their father out of fear because I didn’t and wouldn’t keep going to the church God used to bring me home. I also had a priest that said to leave it behind, so I did have that going for me, but maybe if you are like the squeaky wheel with your priest, he will give you spiritual direction as you go. Finding some kind of balance at home and not caving to the truth…I don’t know how to answer that, and I wish they had some kind of group to help people like you. How to even have religious discussions…I cannot do this at home. It has been too painful.

Maybe tidbits from my own story will help you get help from a priest. No one should or can be forced to convert, not really, so patience while there is just you two and assistence from the CAtholic church will be helpful. you never know what will happen in the future. I do know people’s belief systems are more engrained than we think. You won’t see that until you have something like this come up.

 

[ajaffres]

My husband is protestant, I know the dilemma. Normally with the marriage or dispensation, the Catholic has to promise to raise the children Catholic and the Protestant or other signs that they will not sabotage your efforts. Which means, the non-Catholic in the marriage should not complain about Mass or any Catholic beliefs in front of the children. In your wedding vows she has already signed, when you got the dispensation, that she will support your efforts when children come. Attending a protestant service once in a while when her family visits is respectful, but kids need to know where they stand. Too much confusion may lead them away from Church completely.

 

[Califman831]

Mathew 10​

37 He that loveth father or mother more than me, is not worthy of me; and he that loveth son or daughter more than me, is not worthy of me. 38 And he that taketh not up his cross, and followeth me, is not worthy of me. 39 He that findeth his life, shall lose it: and he that shall lose his life for me, shall find it.

I corinthians 14​

34 Let women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted them to speak, but to be subject, as also the law saith. 35 But if they would learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home. For it is a shame for a woman to speak in the church. 36 Or did the word of God come out from you ? Or came it only unto you ?

Your job as a husband is properly instruct your wife in the true faith, not enable her to continue in the rotted tree of protestantism.

 

[BlueEyedLady]

Mathew 10​

37 He that loveth father or mother more than me, is not worthy of me; and he that loveth son or daughter more than me, is not worthy of me. 38 And he that taketh not up his cross, and followeth me, is not worthy of me. 39 He that findeth his life, shall lose it: and he that shall lose his life for me, shall find it.

I corinthians 14​

34 Let women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted them to speak, but to be subject, as also the law saith. 35 But if they would learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home. For it is a shame for a woman to speak in the church. 36 Or did the word of God come out from you ? Or came it only unto you ?

Your job as a husband is properly instruct your wife in the true faith, not enable her to continue in the rotted tree of protestantism.

I feel like telling his wife “Its my job to instruct you in the true faith, not enable you to continue in the rotted tree of protestantism” she would not only be pushed further to her church, she would probably also fight harder to have their children raised there, and she may smack him upside the head, as any woman of sense would.

His job is not to belittle and degrade her religion. That is not what healthy marriages are about. And he married her knowing that she wasn’t Catholic. You marry someone for who they are, not for what you hope to make them.

 

[mamaslo]

Mathew 10​

37 He that loveth father or mother more than me, is not worthy of me; and he that loveth son or daughter more than me, is not worthy of me. 38 And he that taketh not up his cross, and followeth me, is not worthy of me. 39 He that findeth his life, shall lose it: and he that shall lose his life for me, shall find it.

I corinthians 14​

34 Let women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted them to speak, but to be subject, as also the law saith. 35 But if they would learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home. For it is a shame for a woman to speak in the church. 36 Or did the word of God come out from you ? Or came it only unto you ?

Your job as a husband is properly instruct your wife in the true faith, not enable her to continue in the rotted tree of protestantism.

The guy’s working on it…I am pretty sure there is more to the Tradition and history than a hodgepodge of scripture.

He has to also include the Ephesians verses on laying down his life for his wife and she him…to submit to one another. It isn’t some kind of dictatorship.

I do not agree with protestant theology either, but you can’t just whip her into shape and fix this, I would rather they use Catholic thinking and work together to solve the problem…there are ways to do this without calling her faith a rotted tree…sheesh.

 

[Luvtosew]

Mathew 10​

37 He that loveth father or mother more than me, is not worthy of me; and he that loveth son or daughter more than me, is not worthy of me. 38 And he that taketh not up his cross, and followeth me, is not worthy of me. 39 He that findeth his life, shall lose it: and he that shall lose his life for me, shall find it.

I corinthians 14​

34 Let women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted them to speak, but to be subject, as also the law saith. 35 But if they would learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home. For it is a shame for a woman to speak in the church. 36 Or did the word of God come out from you ? Or came it only unto you ?

Your job as a husband is properly instruct your wife in the true faith, not enable her to continue in the rotted tree of protestantism.

Are you married?

 

[dailey]

My wife and step-son were Methodist. I attended Methodist services on Sunday morning with them weekly for about 10 years, and went to Mass either Sat or Sun evening.

I even ‘lead’ a Methodist bible study for a couple of years, somewhat reluctantly and even when I kept telling them ‘You know I’m Catholic, right?’. I tried to always keep the topic in the ‘common’, but wasn’t afraid to say ‘Catholics believe…’. At the end the class presented me with a hand made rosary out of knotted leather. It was really nice.

In any case, my wife has converted and came into the Church last Easter. It took about a decade. She says the turning point was a Marriage Encounter weekend.

Man, I love stories like this!! :extrahappy:

 

[Califman831]

The guy’s working on it…I am pretty sure there is more to the Tradition and history than a hodgepodge of scripture.

He has to also include the Ephesians verses on laying down his life for his wife and she him…to submit to one another. It isn’t some kind of dictatorship.

I do not agree with protestant theology either, but you can’t just whip her into shape and fix this, I would rather they use Catholic thinking and work together to solve the problem…there are ways to do this without calling her faith a rotted tree…sheesh.

Its not a dictatorship its a family hierarchy created by God (Genesis 3). The man is the head of the house and he should have the cajones to lead. Ever since the 1960’s society has been pushing this equal partnership idea. The historic Catholic position on protestantism is to treat it as heresy, a rotted tree (Council of Trent). It is the liberals in the church that wish to treat it with a new raised status and label it that of a “Tradition”. A tradition on equal footing with the church Jesus established (Mt 16:18). Martin luther is no longer a heretic but rather a new traditionalist.

ewtn.com/expert/answers/heresy_schism_apostasy.htm

 

[Luvtosew]

This is not a thread to bash Protestants, but a thread about husband and wife belonging to two different Christian Churches,

 

[mamaslo]

Its not a dictatorship its a family hierarchy created by God (Genesis 3). The man is the head of the house and he should have the cajones to lead. Ever since the 1960’s society has been pushing this equal partnership idea. The historic Catholic position on protestantism is to treat it as heresy, a rotted tree (Council of Trent). It is the liberals in the church that wish to treat it with a new raised status and label it that of a “Tradition”. A tradition on equal footing with the church Jesus established (Mt 16:18). Martin luther is no longer a heretic but rather a new traditionalist.

ewtn.com/expert/answers/heresy_schism_apostasy.htm

Maybe at the time of the Council of Trent the church did think of it as a rotted tree, but now we are trying to live peacefully with one another without any more decaptitations.

As a husband and wife, he still needs to be able to live under the same roof and not on the corner of the roof outside.

I think he is at the beginning of a journey that could go really well or not. Your attack on protestantism won’t help him live peaceably with his wife and grow as one flesh.

Jesus is the head, we are the body, He died for us on a cross and sets as an example for how we are to live. He is looking at his own faith and also it sounds like he cares for her soul, which is the start of being a good husband…he is learning.

 

[rpwolfgang]

Wow!! Lots of good and somewhat questionable advice here. Please keep it coming. I’ve read through the threads several times and I’m still taking it all in. Thanks again.

 

[Blacksword]

As someone married to a nonchristian, nonreligious person myself, I agree that beating her over the head is unlikely to be effective. I also would say you should go to her church with her, and go to Mass together. However, learn your faith, and be ready to defend it with charity, but with vigor. Depending on where she attends church, you may be called to the carpet for idol worship or other such charges by some who may harbor anti-catholic prejudice. Think of it as a chance for possible evangelization, and remember that everything you do and say in her faith community will be likely judged as being how Catholics “really” are, so strive for the most Christ-like behavior possible at all times. To them, you will, like it or not, probably be more or less THE representative for the Catholic faith.

 

[Jim_Dandy]

Hello everyone. I’m Catholic and my wife is Protestant. We got married 6 years ago in a protestant church. Prior to the wedding we met with my priest and went through the required classes so that the marriage would be recognized by the Catholic church.

If you and your wife knew that the Catholic Church was founded by Christ for the salvation of the world, surely you would not consider joining any Protestant ecclesial community (there’s only one Church, and you are a member of it). Nor would you allow your children to be raised outside this Church, who alone speaks for Christ (Luke 10:16, Mt 19:40). She is the Bride of Christ (Ephesians 5:25-33; 2 Corinthians 11:2; Revelation 21:9-14, 22:17), His very Body, (Colossians 1:15-18, 1:24, 2:19; Ephesians 1:22-23, 4:4-7, 4:11-16; Romans 12:4-5; 1 Corinthians 6:1, 12:27).

Protestants believe in the Bible Only. But Christ didn’t leave us a Bible, he left us the Catholic Church as our teacher. The Church, guided by the Spirit, produced the Bible.

The Church is the “household of God, the church of the living God, the pillar and bulwark of the truth” (1 Timothy 3:15). The manifest wisdom of God is made known, not through the Bible, but through Christ’s Church (Ephesians 3:8-11).

Most Protestants (and, sadly, too many Catholics) do not know where we got the Bible. The New Testament consists of 27 of the Catholic Church’s own writings. The Catholic Church discerned the contents of the OT and NT and compiled the Bible at the end of the fourth Christian Century.

Perhaps your wife, who thinks she is not being fed in the Catholic Church, would be willing to listen to Jeff Cavins’ audio CD, “I’m Not Being Fed.” You can hear it free:

catholicscomehome.org/lighthouse-popup.php?song=NotBeingFed

If the body, blood, soul, and divinity of Christ is not adequate food for a Christian, what is? It is most definitely not to be found in any Protestant organization.

I wish you peace in this life and in the next.

Jim Dandy
Ex-Southern Baptist, ex-agnostic, ex-atheist, ecstatic to be Catholic!

 

[mamaslo]

Perhaps your wife, who thinks she is not being fed in the Catholic Church, would be willing to listen to Jeff Cavins’ audio CD, “I’m Not Being Fed.” You can hear it free:

catholicscomehome.org/lighthouse-popup.php?song=NotBeingFed

excellent suggestion! anything by Jeff Cavins…but in response to her question “Im not being fed” …he has been there and can explain a lot. She just doesn’t understand what we have…

We have the altar of sacrifice, the basin for cleaning, we have the lamb, we have the tablernacle, our priests have the garments…straight from the bible! I always new we were supposed to look more jewish, but other churches just don’t have these things that God Himself directed to make . she may not be interested in that, but she probably was taught a thing or two about catholics that may surprise you. It’s’ good to charitably learn how to teach the faith.

Jeff Cavins…nice bible studies too btw.

 

[Califman831]

If you and your wife knew that the Catholic Church was founded by Christ for the salvation of the world, surely you would not consider joining any Protestant ecclesial community (there’s only one Church, and you are a member of it). Nor would you allow your children to be raised outside this Church, who alone speaks for Christ (Luke 10:16, Mt 19:40). She is the Bride of Christ (Ephesians 5:25-33; 2 Corinthians 11:2; Revelation 21:9-14, 22:17), His very Body, (Colossians 1:15-18, 1:24, 2:19; Ephesians 1:22-23, 4:4-7, 4:11-16; Romans 12:4-5; 1 Corinthians 6:1, 12:27).

Protestants believe in the Bible Only. But Christ didn’t leave us a Bible, he left us the Catholic Church as our teacher. The Church, guided by the Spirit, produced the Bible.

The Church is the “household of God, the church of the living God, the pillar and bulwark of the truth” (1 Timothy 3:15). The manifest wisdom of God is made known, not through the Bible, but through Christ’s Church (Ephesians 3:8-11).

Most Protestants (and, sadly, too many Catholics) do not know where we got the Bible. The New Testament consists of 27 of the Catholic Church’s own writings. The Catholic Church discerned the contents of the OT and NT and compiled the Bible at the end of the fourth Christian Century.

Perhaps your wife, who thinks she is not being fed in the Catholic Church, would be willing to listen to Jeff Cavins’ audio CD, “I’m Not Being Fed.” You can hear it free:

catholicscomehome.org/lighthouse-popup.php?song=NotBeingFed

If the body, blood, soul, and divinity of Christ is not adequate food for a Christian, what is? It is most definitely not to be found in any Protestant organization.

I wish you peace in this life and in the next.

Jim Dandy
Ex-Southern Baptist, ex-agnostic, ex-atheist, ecstatic to be Catholic!

Nicely put

 

[Jim_Dandy]

Nicely put

:tiphat: Much obliged.

 

[familyof4]

I feel like telling his wife “Its my job to instruct you in the true faith, not enable you to continue in the rotted tree of protestantism” she would not only be pushed further to her church, she would probably also fight harder to have their children raised there, and she may smack him upside the head, as any woman of sense would.

His job is not to belittle and degrade her religion. That is not what healthy marriages are about. And he married her knowing that she wasn’t Catholic. You marry someone for who they are, not for what you hope to make them.

I was thinking something very similar. My husband was not Catholic when we married. He was agnostic, leaning towards atheist. I was a lukewarm Catholic at best-- but if he had ever approached me with antagonism towards my faith (calling me a Mary worshipper or idolator), we would have had some serious problems.

This is a time to come together and find common ground. OP, read in depth about our faith, and answer her questions honestly. If she feels more comfortable in a Charismatic service, then find one for her-- I personally don’t enjoy them because I don’t care for the arm waving and the big displays of emotion. It feels contrived to me, but that’s my bias. We’re the universal church, and there is a place for everyone.

Even without a charismatic service, check out other parishes in your area. The one that a niece sometimes attends has fantastic music at their 6pm mass, and a lot of converts feel comfortable and “fed” there. If you go to 10am, it looks more like a regular suburban mass. My point being, that even at one parish, the mass can vary from service to service, depending on the group of volunteers in the music ministry.

 

[ajaffres]

Mathew 10​

37 He that loveth father or mother more than me, is not worthy of me; and he that loveth son or daughter more than me, is not worthy of me. 38 And he that taketh not up his cross, and followeth me, is not worthy of me. 39 He that findeth his life, shall lose it: and he that shall lose his life for me, shall find it.

I never force my husband to attend Mass with us, I simply invite him to join us every Sunday. Sometimes he comes, sometimes he doesn’t. He understands that it is my responsibility to raise the children Catholic, he therefore doesn’t interfere. I promised not to talk badly about his religion (which he doesn’t practice much anyway). The best way to bring him, is to make him feel welcome. One day if he chooses to convert, it will be because he found God in our Church not because he felt coerced. Faith is an internal process, not something that can be imposed on anyone.

I corinthians 14​

34 Let women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted them to speak, but to be subject, as also the law saith. 35 But if they would learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home. For it is a shame for a woman to speak in the church. 36 Or did the word of God come out from you ? Or came it only unto you ?

That rationale would be like saying that I should follow my Protestant husband in his Church, or if he was Muslim that I should follow Islam. When you marry you become one flesh. The rules for raising children Catholic in a Catholic wedding are the same no matter who is the Catholic (Husband or Wife). The second quote has been studied at length, another understanding is that husband and wife should not debate their dirty laundry in public, they should come to a consensus at home and then present an united front.