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ringil
Guest
And what do you feel the role of the husband is in this? I feel the OP seems pretty far off-base.
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Havard
Guest
On the one hand, it’s good that he’s concerned about his wife’s health and welfare, but on the other, I think he’s on the wrong track if he’s seriously considering a ‘healing separation.’ Unfortunately, I don’t think we ever got enough to know the whole story of what he was thinking.
As to what he should do, well I think both of them should get more information about her health (i.e., see her doctor), so that they can better understand the situation. Then he should patiently help and support her in following whatever recommendations the doctor gives.
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SurlyMermaid
Guest
I agree completely.
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Serap
Guest
Please read my other responses above and if you have any more questions, feel free to shoot.
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Serap
Guest
I agree. Marriage counselling would also uncover the deeper issues as to why his wife is over-eating.
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Onegin
Guest
Oh my, I’m so sorry to hear this and you are in my prayers. :hug1: I know what it’s like to be in that situation, as I dated a guy for a long time who was like this and I had actually convinced myself that he was only being so critical because he cared about me. But you are right, the comments stick with you and they hurt. Ultimately someone who does these things cares little about the person and more about appearance, which is a tragedy. Appearences only last for a few years, but the soul is eternal.
Is your husband Catholic? I found that praying for the intercession of St. Therese (who spoke at length about taking joy in suffering, and being humiliated in this life) was very beneficial. It’s a tough situation, I will pray that you and your husband are both able to find peace.
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ringil
Guest
Yes, and uncover how the husband would think to describe his wife as “unrepentant” and would consider a seperation versus working on the issues in the marriage.
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TheRealJuliane
Guest
:sad_yes:
I never gained weight like I did in the last year, when our marriage was in the worst shape it’s been in (funny how that parallels the shape I am in), my husband was traveling 2 weeks out of every month so I was alone a lot, and I felt hopeless in many areas of my life. No, I am not depressed per se, but it’s easy to eat your emotions away.
I would love to hear the wife’s side of the story. My husband has never as much as implied that he can even tell I’ve gained 30 lbs. He was glad to see that I had joined Weight Watchers, and he is happy when I share my loss amount with him. But he never ever nags me. He knows me well enough by now, to know that any clucking or rolling of eyes or “subtle” suggestions would cause the whole operation to come to a screeching halt. I am a person who needs to be left alone to do the job myself. Make a comment, even supportive, and I bolt (I receive that as pressure). Criticize and I will dissolve into a puddle. Let me figure it out, go through my own process, and I will conquer the challenge.
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ahollars
Guest
Yes. Now, what does that have to do with the narrative?
BTW, if you want to ask other qualifier questions, how about checking out my post history.
I’ve taken a step back from this thread and watch the women make excuses while the men point out the painful and obvious truth: Catholics have an obligation to maintain their health to the best of their ability, and being overweight and out of shape is just as dangerous as drugs or any other vice. For the record, men are not off the hook either, and ladies, you need to hold your husbands accountable as well.
Gluttony is a deadly sin. People can claim that they are not overeating, but if we fasted like we used to do in the days before Vatican II, then this wouldn’t be a problem.
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Cat
Guest
Are you saying that there were no fat Catholics before Vatican II?
I’m a convert to Catholicism, so I’m honestly curious if this is true.
Frankly, I think that you would be wise to get hold of the book by Dr. Kessler–The End of Overeating–Taking Control of the Insatiable American Appetite. You will learn a lot that you don’t currently know.
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LightBound
Guest
Good grief! Now Vatican ll is to blame for obesity? That is just too much! I’ve heard many theories on CAF about all the bad Vatican ll has caused, but claiming it now causes obesity just takes the cake!!
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TheRealJuliane
Guest
Yeah, because all Catholics had to fast and abstain every Friday…But way back then, there were very few fat people, let alone truly obese, and it wasn’t just Catholics who were thinner.
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LightBound
Guest
Yeah, because all Catholics had to fast and abstain every Friday…But way back then, there were very few fat people, let alone truly obese, and it wasn’t just Catholics who were thinner.
Which gave a good many of them “free license” to go hog-wild at one minute after midnight- not even waiting until they awoke on Saturday morning to dig into the pancakes and bacon!
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ahollars
Guest
You people are just grasping for straws, aren’t you?
I spent 7 years in the Army with the last 2 and a half holding the rank of Sergeant. I know how people gain weight, and I have plenty of experience in getting them to lose it! :nunchuk:
I haven’t even gotten into the personal responsiblity issues that the OP also mentioned.
For the record, my wife is pregnant with kid #6 and has put on 100 lbs since we met. However, she also has had a hip replacement and spinal cord damage, courtesy of 4 years in the Army for her. But you can best believe that she would gladly give her disability income back for the ability to exercise again. Most overweight people do not have an excuse like she does. I have worked with her trying different things, looking for something that would work, and after 9 years, we think we found it, but I always told her it was about her health and not her appearance, and she believes me.
I understand far better than you guys are giving me credit for.
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ringil
Guest
Good question Cat!
Let me inform you that “no” there were no obese Catholics before Vatican II. The faithful practiced impecable levels of temperance and lived as model of sober living to those around them. It was a glorious time indeed!
Like everything else-- it all went down hill in the 60’s.
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ChiRho
Guest
I don’t see why valuing an attractive appearance is necessarily bad either. I think spouses owe each other many things, and attractiveness is one of them. Why not undertake exercise as a labor of love? I’m a weightlifter so I enjoyed exercise long before I thought of it in a marital sense, but I certainly enjoy the idea of looking good for my spouse in the future
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EasterJoy
Guest
Maybe before Vatican II, even?
Yeah, because all Catholics had to fast and abstain every Friday…But way back then, there were very few fat people, let alone truly obese, and it wasn’t just Catholics who were thinner.
Effects of Greek Orthodox Christian Church Fasting on Serum Lipids and Obesity
by Katerina O Sarri, Nikolaos E Tzanakis, Manolis K Linardakis, George D Mamalakis, Anthony G Kafatos, BMC Public Health (2003)
Abstract
Background: No study to date has focused on the impact of Greek Orthodox Christian fasting on serum lipoproteins and obesity yet. Methods: 120 Greek adults were followed longitudinally for one year. Sixty fasted regularly in all fasting periods (fasters) and 60 did not fast at all (controls). The three major fasting periods under study were: Christmas (40 days), Lent (48 days) and Assumption (August, 15 days). A total of 6 measurements were made during one year including pre- and end-fasting blood collection, serum lipoprotein analyses and anthropometric measurements. Results: Statistically significant end-fasting total and LDL cholesterol differences were found in fasters. Fasters compared to controls presented 12.5% lower end-total cholesterol (p < 0.001), 15.9% lower end-LDL cholesterol (p < 0.001) and 1.5% lower end-BMI (p < 0.001). The end- LDL/HDL ratio was lower in fasters (6.5%, p < 0.05) while the change in end- HDL cholesterol in fasters (4.6% decline) was not significant. Similar results were found when the pre- and end-fasting values of fasters were compared. No change was found in control subjects. Conclusions: Adherence to Greek Orthodox fasting periods contributes to a reduction in the blood lipid profile including a non-significant reduction in HDL cholesterol and possible impact on obesity.
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ringil
Guest
sir yes sir!!!you people are just grasping for straws, aren’t you?
I spent 7 years in the army with the last 2 and a half holding the rank of sergeant. I know how people gain weight, and i have plenty of experience in getting them to lose it! :nunchuk:
I haven’t even gotten into the personal responsiblity issues that the op also mentioned.
For the record, my wife is pregnant with kid #6 and has put on 100 lbs since we met. However, she also has had a hip replacement and spinal cord damage, courtesy of 4 years in the army for her. But you can best believe that she would gladly give her disability income back for the ability to exercise again. Most overweight people do not have an excuse like she does. I have worked with her trying different things, looking for something that would work, and after 9 years, we think we found it, but i always told her it was about her health and not her appearance, and she believes me.
I understand far better than you guys are giving me credit for.
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RyanBlack
Guest
By what authority or expertise do you determine the legitimacy of the excuse any particular overweight person has? I would agree that most people who are overweight do not have the sort of physical obstacles to face as those faced by you wife. However, they are not necessarily any less real.You people are just grasping for straws, aren’t you?
I spent 7 years in the Army with the last 2 and a half holding the rank of Sergeant. I know how people gain weight, and I have plenty of experience in getting them to lose it! :nunchuk:
I haven’t even gotten into the personal responsiblity issues that the OP also mentioned.
For the record, my wife is pregnant with kid #6 and has put on 100 lbs since we met. However, she also has had a hip replacement and spinal cord damage, courtesy of 4 years in the Army for her. But you can best believe that she would gladly give her disability income back for the ability to exercise again. Most overweight people do not have an excuse like she does. I have worked with her trying different things, looking for something that would work, and after 9 years, we think we found it, but I always told her it was about her health and not her appearance, and she believes me.
I understand far better than you guys are giving me credit for.
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ahollars
Guest
The fundamental cause of obesity and overweight is an energy imbalance between calories consumed and calories expended. Globally, there has been:
an increased intake of energy-dense foods that are high in fat, salt and sugars but low in vitamins, minerals and other micronutrients; and
a decrease in physical activity due to the increasingly sedentary nature of many forms of work, changing modes of transportation, and increasing urbanization.
Changes in dietary and physical activity patterns are often the result of environmental and societal changes associated with development and lack of supportive policies in sectors such as health, agriculture, transport, urban planning, environment, food processing, distribution, marketing and education.
World Heath Organization - Obesity and Health
You don’t seriously believe that physical injury is the reason most people do not exercise enough to lose weight, do you?
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