Wife of a priest

[OscarsMama]

Sorry if I am working with wrong information here. I don’t know much about the Eastern Church. I am Roman Catholic.

Priests are allowed to be married, right? What is the responsibility of the priest’s wife? You know, how the First Lady has issues she is involved in and/or promote? What about the priest’s wife? What does she do for the church?

Is there a special name for her ie. “First Lady” for the POTUS wife?

Thanks for answering my question!!

 

[rome1453]

Good morning.

I will take a stab at this. I am Eastern Catholic and a priest’s wife does not have a formal written down role in the parish. It varies. If the parish is a mission, I know of some matushki (matushka- russian “title” for priest’s wife) who are the choir director, or can be sunday school teachers or just support for the women in the parish. It really depends on the need in the parish and the skills of the wife of the priest. The parish I am at now, the priest is celibate. The last parish I was at we had 3 priests and all married. One was a nurse and was the parish nurse, the other 2 were just support for the ladies of the parish.

I hope that helps a bit.

Sbdn John

 

[boncrayon]

Catholic Priests cannot be married . Their spouse is God. They pledge all loyalty to their Bishop. The duty of a husband it to his wife. There would be a conflict between loyalty to a wife and to the Bishop.

 

[Brendan]

Catholic Priests cannot be married . Their spouse is God. They pledge all loyalty to their Bishop. The duty of a husband it to his wife. There would be a conflict between loyalty to a wife and to the Bishop.

It is quite possible for a Catholic priest to have a wife. In fact, it is the normative situation for many Catholic Churches and has been so for millenia.

 

[Hesychios]

Catholic Priests cannot be married . Their spouse is God. They pledge all loyalty to their Bishop. The duty of a husband it to his wife. There would be a conflict between loyalty to a wife and to the Bishop.

Whoever told you that? !

 

[ciero]

Catholic Priests cannot be married . Their spouse is God. They pledge all loyalty to their Bishop. The duty of a husband it to his wife. There would be a conflict between loyalty to a wife and to the Bishop.

Wherever did you get an idea like that? In my eparchy (fully Catholic) most of the priests are married and have children even!

 

[5Loaves]

Wherever did you get an idea like that? In my eparchy (fully Catholic) most of the priests are married and have children even!

And when Archbishop Dolan was asked about married priests in the Latin Church in 2008 he responded “approximately 100 active priests in the United States who are married”. That number has increased since 2008, not by dozens but a few here and there.

It’s not only our Eastern and Oriental Churches who have priests serving us who are married. Initially in the Latin Church the married clergy were not permitted to act as parish pastors, but that has changed and there are Latin Church parishes now who do have priests who are married serving them.

 

[Rawb]

I don’t know about in your churches, but I’m betting it’s the same as in the Orthodox. The titles of a priest’s wife basically depend on which jurisdiction you’re in:

Greek (and the general, common name for a priest’s wife): “Presbytera” (pres-veh-tehra)
Russian (the second most common title, in my experience): “Matushka” (Mah-toosh-ka)
Arabic: “Khouria” (not sure, but I think it’s Khoo-ree-ah)
Serbian: “Popadija” (pah-pahd-ee-ah) or “Protinica” (proh-tah-neets-ia, if their husband is a protopresbyter)

Those are the ones I know. Other jurisdictions have other titles. In general you can just address a priest’s wife as Presbytera no matter the jurisdiction, and if they really care they can correct you, but most I’ve found don’t.

 

[BigFellaMick]

but Roman Catholic Priests can not be married or have children. Exceptions are made like my own Parish Priest who started out in a protestant denomination before converting to the faith. I still think Priests should be without wives and children simply so they can fully give themselves to God and their spiritual children. I’m sure we can all at least name one time where we’ve really needed a Priest when one wasn’t immediately available (granted there are so few Priests left in the world). I pray I can fully discern my vocation soon so I can figure out where God wants me, that I may start to heed his call and serve him entirely.

 

[Montalo]

but Roman Catholic Priests can not be married or have children. Exceptions are made like my own Parish Priest who started out in a protestant denomination before converting to the faith. I still think Priests should be without wives and children simply so they can fully give themselves to God and their spiritual children. I’m sure we can all at least name one time where we’ve really needed a Priest when one wasn’t immediately available (granted there are so few Priests left in the world). I pray I can fully discern my vocation soon so I can figure out where God wants me, that I may start to heed his call and serve him entirely.

we arent talking about the roman church, rather the eastern churches though. In the eastern churches, the normal senario is that the priest is married before he is ordained

 

[Hesychios]

but Roman Catholic Priests can not be married or have children. Exceptions are made like my own Parish Priest who started out in a protestant denomination before converting to the faith. I still think Priests should be without wives and children simply so they can fully give themselves to God and their spiritual children. I’m sure we can all at least name one time where we’ve really needed a Priest when one wasn’t immediately available (granted there are so few Priests left in the world). I pray I can fully discern my vocation soon so I can figure out where God wants me, that I may start to heed his call and serve him entirely.

In the Orthodox church seminarians can date. A lot of young women consider these men to be quite the catch, and opposite-sex attraction is not considered a problem to fight off.

Unless they have specifically selected a monastic vocation they will not be ordained until they are married, so some have to wait a few years after graduating and do other things for a living. Of course, dating on occasion

It works.

 

[5Loaves]

I don’t know about in your churches, but I’m betting it’s the same as in the Orthodox. The titles of a priest’s wife basically depend on which jurisdiction you’re in:

Greek (and the general, common name for a priest’s wife): “Presbytera” (pres-veh-tehra)
Russian (the second most common title, in my experience): “Matushka” (Mah-toosh-ka)
Arabic: “Khouria” (not sure, but I think it’s Khoo-ree-ah)
Serbian: “Popadija” (pah-pahd-ee-ah) or “Protinica” (proh-tah-neets-ia, if their husband is a protopresbyter)

Those are the ones I know. Other jurisdictions have other titles. In general you can just address a priest’s wife as Presbytera no matter the jurisdiction, and if they really care they can correct you, but most I’ve found don’t.

I’ve known our deacon’s wives to also be called Matushka.
Many times clergy wives can be spiritual mothers for parishoners, able to provide spiritual direction.
My limited experience here has been that the clergy wives generally have employment outside the home.

In the Orthodox church seminarians can date. A lot of young women consider these men to be quite the catch, and opposite-sex attraction is not considered a problem to fight off.

Unless they have specifically selected a monastic vocation they will not be ordained until they are married, so some have to wait a few years after graduating and do other things for a living. Of course, dating on occasion

It works.

I think the changes in society are affecting the priesthood of the East. I have had young men tell me they very much want to be priests and are quite discouraged by the need to be at least engaged before they can go further because they have not found anyone they feel they would marry. (Personally, I think there is a lot to be said for arranged marriage.) They were also very aware of the financial challenges their parish priests face providing for a family and this also discouraged them. Way back when I graduated from high school it was typical for people to marry right out of high school, or if they were going to college then to marry right after college graduation. So that would put them marrying by mid 20s. Now it’s considered young to get married before 30.

In addition to our many prayers in Liturgy for our priests I hope we are all daily offering our prayers for them and all the clergy.

Clergy Wives section from the website Good Guys Wear Black: Discerning Your Vocation In The Orthodox Church.

 

[ConstantineTG]

but Roman Catholic Priests can not be married or have children. Exceptions are made like my own Parish Priest who started out in a protestant denomination before converting to the faith. I still think Priests should be without wives and children simply so they can fully give themselves to God and their spiritual children. I’m sure we can all at least name one time where we’ve really needed a Priest when one wasn’t immediately available (granted there are so few Priests left in the world). I pray I can fully discern my vocation soon so I can figure out where God wants me, that I may start to heed his call and serve him entirely.

News flash, this is the Eastern Catholic Forum

 

[ConstantineTG]

we arent talking about the roman church, rather the eastern churches though. In the eastern churches, the normal senario is that the priest is married before he is ordained

Correct me if I’m wrong but it is only in the Byzantine Rite where married priests are more common. I read before in the Chaldean Rite that they will only ordain celibate men, although for a good reason (not specified what the good reason is) they can ordain married men. So its not a hard rule of celibacy, but the preference for celibate men is clear. There is no such preference in the Byzantine Rite, any man can seek ordination.

 

[Rawb]

I’ve known our deacon’s wives to also be called Matushka.
Many times clergy wives can be spiritual mothers for parishoners, able to provide spiritual direction.
My limited experience here has been that the clergy wives generally have employment outside the home.

That makes sense, though I’ve never heard of it in Orthodoxy it wouldn’t really surprise me to hear a Deacon’s wife called Matushka. For those who don’t know it means “little mother”. We call our Deacon’s wife Deaconess (not strictly correct, we know) or sometimes I call her Mrs. Deacon. Some people just call her Peggy.

I think the changes in society are affecting the priesthood of the East. I have had young men tell me they very much want to be priests and are quite discouraged by the need to be at least engaged before they can go further because they have not found anyone they feel they would marry. (Personally, I think there is a lot to be said for arranged marriage.)

I have many friends considering the priesthood, three off the top of my head, and they’re not discouraged by needing to be married. It’s another thing that must be worked out, yes, but what it does for a parish priest’s ability to counsel drastically outweighs the downsides (which I’ve seen firsthand as well) IMO. We need both, celibate and married, but I don’t see any movement towards more men choosing celibacy in the Orthodox Priesthood. I wonder if this is something more specific to your area, your particular church (Ruthenian if I remember, though I don’t know what that means exactly. Someday I’ll have to find a correspondence of where y’all’s churches come from; the only one I can remember specifically is where the Russian Catholic Church originated ) or maybe something in Eastern Catholicism in general? Then again, you do say “of the East” so maybe you’re speaking of Orthodox young men as well.

That was my thinking-aloud-really-long-winded way of saying “Interesting, I don’t see that, I wonder what the influences on both our perceptions are.”

 

[Montalo]

Correct me if I’m wrong but it is only in the Byzantine Rite where married priests are more common. I read before in the Chaldean Rite that they will only ordain celibate men, although for a good reason (not specified what the good reason is) they can ordain married men. So its not a hard rule of celibacy, but the preference for celibate men is clear. There is no such preference in the Byzantine Rite, any man can seek ordination.

I honestly dont know, most of what i know is of Russian (and greek) tradition. Accepting what you say is true, do they only ordain monastics, or do they ordain as the Roman Church does today?

 

[ConstantineTG]

I honestly dont know, most of what i know is of Russian (and greek) tradition. Accepting what you say is true, do they only ordain monastics, or do they ordain as the Roman Church does today?

Sorry, who’s they?

Most of the priests that come from Ukraine that come to our province either as visitors or to relocate here are married. There are two priests who now live here who are married, one visiting priest last year, and now also a visiting deacon. Those who grew up in Canada and got ordained here are celibates. Not sure if that has something to do with the old rule that married men can only be ordained in the traditional territories of the Eastern Churches. Our young priests so far have all been from Ukraine. Not sure out East where there are more Ukrainian parishes and they’re closer to the schools/seminaries. We are a small Eparchy and our Bishop gets his priests currently from Ukraine.

For the Chaldean Rite, not sure. I know exactly one Chaldean priest. I never asked him but he looks celibate. They may prefer celibates but because the traditional territory of Chaldeans are currently Muslim countries (or predominantly Muslim), they are heavily persecuted, so the consideration of married men for ordination could be from the time Islam took over their lands.

 

[Vico]

Correct me if I’m wrong but it is only in the Byzantine Rite where married priests are more common. I read before in the Chaldean Rite that they will only ordain celibate men, although for a good reason (not specified what the good reason is) they can ordain married men. So its not a hard rule of celibacy, but the preference for celibate men is clear. There is no such preference in the Byzantine Rite, any man can seek ordination.

I was present when someone asked our priest (Byzantine) if, being already married, a man could receive Holy Orders and become a presbyter in the USA. He said Holy Orders was possible, but the assigned parish would be in the home territory, outide the USA.

(Of course we know that the Holy See sometimes approves married priests individually in the USA.)

 

[Montalo]

Sorry, who’s they?

Most of the priests that come from Ukraine that come to our province either as visitors or to relocate here are married. There are two priests who now live here who are married, one visiting priest last year, and now also a visiting deacon. Those who grew up in Canada and got ordained here are celibates. Not sure if that has something to do with the old rule that married men can only be ordained in the traditional territories of the Eastern Churches. Our young priests so far have all been from Ukraine. Not sure out East where there are more Ukrainian parishes and they’re closer to the schools/seminaries. We are a small Eparchy and our Bishop gets his priests currently from Ukraine.

For the Chaldean Rite, not sure. I know exactly one Chaldean priest. I never asked him but he looks celibate. They may prefer celibates but because the traditional territory of Chaldeans are currently Muslim countries (or predominantly Muslim), they are heavily persecuted, so the consideration of married men for ordination could be from the time Islam took over their lands.

i apologize, i was speaking of the chaldeans

thank you for the generous response though

 

[ConstantineTG]

I was present when someone asked our priest (Byzantine) if, being already married, a man could receive Holy Orders and become a presbyter in the USA. He said Holy Orders was possible, but the assigned parish would be in the home territory, outide the USA.

(Of course we know that the Holy See sometimes approves married priests individually in the USA.)

I know that in the particular canons of the Ruthenian Church, there is still that rule that they need to ask the Vatican before ordaining a married man into the presbyteriate (did I say it right?). But such canons are not present in the Ukrainian Church. There is a video on YouTube on the St. Elias channel of one of their deacons being reassigned to the US, and in the US he was ordained a priest. And if you read the description of the video, the person from St. Elias put some greetings wishing the now-priest well and his wife and kids. So he is a married priest ordained in the US in the Ukrainian Church. At least there’s one example.