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jimmy
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Isn’t that why God made women? To test the patience of men.
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miguel
Guest
I know it’s tough. You can do it. This is what love is all about. It could be scourging at the pillar!
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Cider
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My mom is the exact same way, and I live 1500 miles away and don’t know 90% of the people she gossips about. I’ve learned to quickly change the subject by asking her a question on another topic. But I don’t think that works as well when you live in the same house.
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Gwendolen
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I’d look for a way to constructively put to use all that interest in other people’s lives. Def volunteer work…
“Dear, I love the way you care so deeply about people, even those you hardly know.” And suggest working on a way for her to demonstrate her caring in a more constructive way that telling you about every detail.
And yeah, I’m am reading your post thinking about my sweet MIL, lol…
“Dear, I love the way you care so deeply about people, even those you hardly know.” And suggest working on a way for her to demonstrate her caring in a more constructive way that telling you about every detail.
And yeah, I’m am reading your post thinking about my sweet MIL, lol…
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Irishmom2
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Or get out your finger gun amd shoot yourself in the head!Do the All in the Family routine yourself: “Will you stifle yourself and get dinner on the table?”
I just want to add that sometimes, some men are not such good conversationalists. They do things, they fix things, they drive places, but they sometimes don’t really engage in conversation. OP, please be sure that your wife is getting enough “talk time” with you. My own husband can be silent like that. If she has time by herself, she may be waiting for time to talk with you. Don’t make her talk at you, be sure to give her your full attention.
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mary_bobo
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How about asking her, when she does stop talking, a question on a totally unrelated subject? I can remember telling people that my husband was so sweet, when he was reading the paper, I would start a conversation and occasionally he would say, yes, or grunt as if he were listening and I knew he really wasn’t. Try that also.Or get out your finger gun amd shoot yourself in the head!
I just want to add that sometimes, some men are not such good conversationalists. They do things, they fix things, they drive places, but they sometimes don’t really engage in conversation. OP, please be sure that your wife is getting enough “talk time” with you. My own husband can be silent like that. If she has time by herself, she may be waiting for time to talk with you. Don’t make her talk at you, be sure to give her your full attention.
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TheRealJuliane
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Does your wife have any female friends? She needs female friends. We talk about everything under the sun and that’s where she needs to take all this stuff (except a lot of it seems to be idle chatter and gossip).
Hide in the garage, men have done it for as long as there have been garages.
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LilyM
Guest
It’s not only men. As a woman, I also find myself exasperated by female relatives who just have to jaw about whatever or whoever pops into their heads and would happily do so non stop during the entirety of their waking hours if you let them.
Sometimes it is caused by loneliness or boredom, sometimes by short memories or attention spans, sometimes because talk is their way of connecting as physical affection is for other people. Realise that rarely if ever is it intended to annoy.
Try at least to some extent to take an interest in the people your wife is interested in. You may meet them after all, and it will be nice to be able to make inquiries as to the house repairs or the vacation if you do.
Sometimes it is caused by loneliness or boredom, sometimes by short memories or attention spans, sometimes because talk is their way of connecting as physical affection is for other people. Realise that rarely if ever is it intended to annoy.
Try at least to some extent to take an interest in the people your wife is interested in. You may meet them after all, and it will be nice to be able to make inquiries as to the house repairs or the vacation if you do.
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faithfully
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This is funny. I’m can be quite a talker… And I realized the people that I talked the most to, bore me to death. I have some inlaws that made it pretty clear they don’t like how much I talk. And then I realized, I’m totally filling a void in the room. 'Cause I’m bored out of my mind.
So, literally in the last year, I’ve decided to just quit bothering. They come visit, I do my thing. They get to talk to who they want to, which is not me. And I enjoy myself elsewhere. Or when in the room, I’m quite silent. It’s been an interesting experiment.
Maybe you should tell her stories. Like what you thought was interesting in the news today. Etc. Just for the fun of it, I would get really elaborate with her. Just to see how she responds. It would be interesting to note if she let’s you get in a word edgewise. Or if she let’s you talk. Obviously, she let’s others talk. Or she wouldn’t have their, long boring detailed stories to share with you.
Do you talk to her?
So, literally in the last year, I’ve decided to just quit bothering. They come visit, I do my thing. They get to talk to who they want to, which is not me. And I enjoy myself elsewhere. Or when in the room, I’m quite silent. It’s been an interesting experiment.
Maybe you should tell her stories. Like what you thought was interesting in the news today. Etc. Just for the fun of it, I would get really elaborate with her. Just to see how she responds. It would be interesting to note if she let’s you get in a word edgewise. Or if she let’s you talk. Obviously, she let’s others talk. Or she wouldn’t have their, long boring detailed stories to share with you.
Do you talk to her?
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Xantippe
Guest
“And I realized the people that I talked the most to, bore me to death. I have some inlaws that made it pretty clear they don’t like how much I talk. And then I realized, I’m totally filling a void in the room. 'Cause I’m bored out of my mind.”
“Obviously, she let’s others talk. Or she wouldn’t have their, long boring detailed stories to share with you.”
“Do you talk to her?”
Those are very good points. She may have gotten into the habit of just babbling because her husband isn’t holding up his end of the conversation. The OP needs to be an active participant and steer the conversation where he wants it to go.
“Obviously, she let’s others talk. Or she wouldn’t have their, long boring detailed stories to share with you.”
“Do you talk to her?”
Those are very good points. She may have gotten into the habit of just babbling because her husband isn’t holding up his end of the conversation. The OP needs to be an active participant and steer the conversation where he wants it to go.
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faithfully
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^^ and maybe he does. I know I’m a talker. But I have a friend whose mother absolutely does not shut up. She barely stops to breath. There is no room for 2 way conversation. Hard for us other talkers to talk with her. LOL!
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copeland45
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LOL!
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Michael2799
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Bingo! Sometimes it’s as if the switch between the mouth and brain gets stuck. Sweet as pie, but she is killing me!
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Mrs_Sally
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This is excellent advice. Your wife is interested in people - and the examples you gave the people were all related to you in someway (granddaughter’s teacher, etc.) What do you like to talk about? Sports? That can be just as tedious, I assure you!Now that your children are gone, your wife has a void in her life. I think maybe it might help if the two of you got involved in something together, develop some interest which the two of you share. Then you wife can learn more about it and tell you about something which interests you more, and you two will also meet new people and go places and learn new skills.
I would not recommend telling her she’s driving you crazy. Probably the reason you listened to all this over theyears was that it often related to your children, and with the children gone, she doesn’t know what to talk with you about.
You could try this experiment too: when she talks about something that interests you, be very responsive, turn and look at her, nod your head and say umm hmm a lot, and say some stuff in response. When she talks about things which do not interest you, do the opposite. Subconsciously she ought to respond by talking more about those things you respond to more vividly
But do find something that the two of you can be involved in together. You too have a lot of years left together, you might as well make them interesting!
Think back to when you were dating or first married, what sorts of things did you do together? Or over the years what have you been interested in but couldn’t pursue? I recommend something somewhat active that you could (but don’t have to) do with other people. Maybe nature photography, ballroom dancing, bowling. You will both have something to talk about and your wife will also have other people to talk to.
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Michael2799
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We do have good conversation on a fairly regular basis and we enjoy taking a lot of walks together, enjoying nature etc. It’s just that there are about 5 or 6 little three to four minute long stories each day about something going on in someone else’s life that I have absolutely no need to know about. All I can do is wonder, why is she telling me this? The last thing I want to do is hurt her feelings, but this is a lot like having a pebble in your favorite pair of shoesThis is excellent advice. Your wife is interested in people - and the examples you gave the people were all related to you in someway (granddaughter’s teacher, etc.) What do you like to talk about? Sports? That can be just as tedious, I assure you!
Think back to when you were dating or first married, what sorts of things did you do together? Or over the years what have you been interested in but couldn’t pursue? I recommend something somewhat active that you could (but don’t have to) do with other people. Maybe nature photography, ballroom dancing, bowling. You will both have something to talk about and your wife will also have other people to talk to.
THIRTY THREE YEARS NOW! 
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Chantal25
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Please don’t forget to pray.
I personally don’t feel comfortable talking about other’s life. It is a sin anyway.
I agree, that she is bored and seeking to fill up a void.
I am the type that like the truth, so i would tell gently to your wife that you don’t feel comfortable with these type of conversations but on the other hand, you love her very much and wants her to be happy. You could try to simply go for a walk together.
Makes sure that she understand that you care about her first and foremost because without question, she will be hurt and probably feel putting down, but it doesn’t have to be this way. Take courage and let her know the truth but pray first.
All the best!
I personally don’t feel comfortable talking about other’s life. It is a sin anyway.
I agree, that she is bored and seeking to fill up a void.
I am the type that like the truth, so i would tell gently to your wife that you don’t feel comfortable with these type of conversations but on the other hand, you love her very much and wants her to be happy. You could try to simply go for a walk together.
Makes sure that she understand that you care about her first and foremost because without question, she will be hurt and probably feel putting down, but it doesn’t have to be this way. Take courage and let her know the truth but pray first.
All the best!
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Mrs_Sally
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Sorry to say, the expiration date might have passed on this one. If she’s always been doing this, and you’ve never said anything, she has no idea how much it bothers you. It doesn’t sound like she’s gossiping (can you believe what granddaughter’s teacher’s cousin said??) but passing on news that she thinks is interesting and that you have never indicated is not.We do have good conversation on a fairly regular basis and we enjoy taking a lot of walks together, enjoying nature etc. It’s just that there are about 5 or 6 little three to four minute long stories each day about something going on in someone else’s life that I have absolutely no need to know about. All I can do is wonder, why is she telling me this? The last thing I want to do is hurt her feelings, but this is a lot like having a pebble in your favorite pair of shoes
Perhaps stop to say a prayer for the people involved, offer up your frustrations and go about your day. Use this to develop patience and charity.
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Serap
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too funny.
just think of it as done time in Pergatory
many women do this lol…just say, “I’m sure you’re story is wonderful, but hearing about strangers does not interest me honey. I have to be honest with you b/c I can’t pretend to be interested anymore.”
She will be hurt and you can hug her and tell her that you love her. She’ll get over it.
Now be prepared for her to tell YOU something that YOU do that bothers her LOL!!!
just think of it as done time in Pergatory
many women do this lol…just say, “I’m sure you’re story is wonderful, but hearing about strangers does not interest me honey. I have to be honest with you b/c I can’t pretend to be interested anymore.”
She will be hurt and you can hug her and tell her that you love her. She’ll get over it.
Now be prepared for her to tell YOU something that YOU do that bothers her LOL!!!
Mary_Gail_36
New member
I think my answer will be a bit different than many of the other posters.
She likes to chat with you about subjects that you think are boring, Let her. And perhaps see it as a way for her connecting with you. Five minutes? During the day are there any things that she does for you that take five minutes or more that perhaps she does not find interesting? I’m sure.
My MIL is chatty, Do you know how many times I’ve heard the labor and delvery story of each of her 3 children…and the stories are probably as long as the labors themselves? I would love to just tell her, “Mama ,you told me already.”…but i listen each time, and I try to be or act interested.
I got that advice from Mother Angelica, once. (her program, not her personally
)You brought up Archie, My Dad was a huge All in the Family fan.
At a certain point 'All in the Family" became “Archie’s Place” Jean Stapleton decided to stop playing the part of Edith, and so Edith was written out of the show. They had her character die.
. There is an episode where Archie is trying to act strong by pretending nothing has happened, and then he finds Edith’s slipper under the bed. He breaks down crying.I hope that you and your wife have a long, long marriage, and that you will never have to miss her.
Enjoy your wife, even her silly stories.
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Michael2799
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Reading all of these responses has been a very big help for me… Would it be sinful for me to hope for a touch of age related hearing loss as a form of penance at some point? Just kidding… sort of!
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