Wife wearing me out!

[Eleanor61]

Not all women talk this much. I don’t. I am very quiet in fact. My husband talks a lot more than I do. I think that this thread may offer a clue to my popularity in college. Four guys wanted to marry me and I was no beauty queen, over 6 feet tall and flat as a board. I was engaged by 19, married 30 years now. My husband says he is very lucky. I guess he is.

On the other hand I am an introvert and cannot stand being around people, let alone listening to their inanities. This is not the most Christian of qualities. The OP’s wife is probably a kind, sociable woman. But he is definitely within his rights to tell her to knock it off. It will only get worse with age as most personality quirks do.

 

[Serap]

Not all women talk this much. I don’t. I am very quiet in fact. My husband talks a lot more than I do. I think that this thread may offer a clue to my popularity in college. Four guys wanted to marry me and I was no beauty queen, over 6 feet tall and flat as a board. I was engaged by 19, married 30 years now. My husband says he is very lucky. I guess he is.

On the other hand I am an introvert and cannot stand being around people, let alone listening to their inanities. This is not the most Christian of qualities. The OP’s wife is probably a kind, sociable woman. But he is definitely within his rights to tell her to knock it off. It will only get worse with age as most personality quirks do.

I wish I could be quiet like you

 

[VirtusTransitus]

Like many, this made me laugh out loud.

I have a talkative wife and three daughters.

And not only do they like to talk, but there is no detail or question too small or “in the weeds” that it doesn’t deserve 15 or 20 minutes of scrutiny…

I love them. But man-oh-man. Yackety-yack!

 

[Prairie_Rose]

My husband also complains that I tell him things he doesn’t care about. (As if I’m supposed to know ahead of time whether or not he’s going to care about it.) So, I called my mom to tell her instead. Then he whined that I spent all night talking to my mom instead of him. Go figure. You just can’t win!

Been here & done that!!!

 

[RoseMary131]

We do have good conversation on a fairly regular basis and we enjoy taking a lot of walks together, enjoying nature etc. It’s just that there are about 5 or 6 little three to four minute long stories each day about something going on in someone else’s life that I have absolutely no need to know about. All I can do is wonder, why is she telling me this? The last thing I want to do is hurt her feelings, but this is a lot like having a pebble in your favorite pair of shoes THIRTY THREE YEARS NOW!

Congratulations to you and your wife on 33 years of marriage!!!

From the little you wrote on this thread, you and your wife have a good marriage and enjoy being together.

It is okay to not enjoy every aspect of your spouse. For you, it is her detail stories about other people who are not a part of your life.

You can say, “Honey, I would like to not hear the stories of those people.” Then begin another topic like: “Lets spend the time now talking about us!” Begin a story about something you did together or something you look forward to with her. The idea being that you two still take those 3 to 4 minutes time to talk - but that you pick something that you both want to discuss.

Your feelings about hearing her detailed stories are important to you both.

I’m sure she would not want her stories to be thought of as a pebble in your favorite shoe. She will never know you don’t want to hear them, unless you share this with her in a kind and loving way.

World Wide Marriage Encounter Weekends help couples to learn how to share their feelings on any topic with their spouse. Even without her “detail stories wearing you out”, a WWME weekend is a wonderful way for every couple to refresh their marriage. Something at the weekend might spark a conversation that helps her understand you do not want to hear these stories and in a way that does not hurt her feelings.

 

[twopekinguys]

My husband says, “OK, enough already” and I take his cue and shut up.

I like him. I usually just say “Land the plane already!”

 

[Kelfa28]

I like him. I usually just say “Land the plane already!”

My husband nearly choked when I repeated that line to him.

Of course…I followed by saying: “No, you cannot use that line on me…”

Which resulted in a: “Oh Come ON!”

He has been given permission to use that line on his mother…she’s much worse then I am anyway.

 

[St_Francis]

We do have good conversation on a fairly regular basis and we enjoy taking a lot of walks together, enjoying nature etc. It’s just that there are about 5 or 6 little three to four minute long stories each day about something going on in someone else’s life that I have absolutely no need to know about. All I can do is wonder, why is she telling me this? The last thing I want to do is hurt her feelings, but this is a lot like having a pebble in your favorite pair of shoes THIRTY THREE YEARS NOW!

Five or 6 stories, 3 or 4 minutes each?

Goodness gracious, man, that’s max 24 minutes a day!!!

I thought she was doing this for *hours *each day!!!

I listen to my husband talk about work, sports, politics… what’s 24 minutes a day?

 

[twopekinguys]

My husband nearly choked when I repeated that line to him.

Of course…I followed by saying: “No, you cannot use that line on me…”

Which resulted in a: “Oh Come ON!”

He has been given permission to use that line on his mother…she’s much worse then I am anyway.

LOL, he just needs one to make it his own.

 

[Robertanthony]

Now that your children are gone, your wife has a void in her life. I think maybe it might help if the two of you got involved in something together, develop some interest which the two of you share. Then you wife can learn more about it and tell you about something which interests you more, and you two will also meet new people and go places and learn new skills.

I would not recommend telling her she’s driving you crazy. Probably the reason you listened to all this over theyears was that it often related to your children, and with the children gone, she doesn’t know what to talk with you about.

You could try this experiment too: when she talks about something that interests you, be very responsive, turn and look at her, nod your head and say umm hmm a lot, and say some stuff in response. When she talks about things which do not interest you, do the opposite. Subconsciously she ought to respond by talking more about those things you respond to more vividly

But do find something that the two of you can be involved in together. You too have a lot of years left together, you might as well make them interesting!

 

[Cider]

Maybe she wants to share what is going on in her world. I’d bet money she is an external processor. Meaning she has to say things out loud to process what she thinks about it. It’s how her brain is wired. your goal is to get her to process with someone else!

I do find it helpful to talk to work stuff out but there is a difference between talking about what is going on with yourself and gossiping about the mailman’s ex wifes son’s girlfriend.