Wife Won't Accept My Victory

[1ke]

To explain the power dynamics of the relationship. For instance, if my wife gained like 75 pounds, she’d lose some of her upper hand.

Interesting. The maturity level in your household seems to be quite low.

I make a lot more money, so that puts me in the driver’s seat a bit, so to speak.

Interesting. But contradictory to your prior post about how you can’t afford children and you woe-is-me that they may have to wear “Walmart shoes”. Frankly, I think this entire thread is pathetic. And probably fake.

When we both are in disagreement, it helps being the one who can emerge victorious and get this resolved.

Good luck in life. I think you will need it.

I am out of this thread, which is totally ridiculous.

 

[Marie5890]

To explain the power dynamics of the relationship. For instance, if my wife gained like 75 pounds, she’d lose some of her upper hand. I make a lot more money, so that puts me in the driver’s seat a bit, so to speak. When we both are in disagreement, it helps being the one who can emerge victorious and get this resolved.

Ah, so there is a power struggle, a power play in your relationship?

There is an element of it being a game? Of competition.

 

[AvignonPapacy94]

I make $40k, my wife makes about $25k. If you think you can spend a lot of money on that, you’re nuts–internet bills, phone bills, mortgage, car payments, insurance, etc.

I’m sorry that my life is ridiculous to you. I thought this is a forum where I could go to discuss honest problems and receive compassionate tips on how to improve my life, not get called names and be disrespected.

 

[1ke]

Ah, so there is a power struggle, a power play in your relationship?

There is an element of it being a game? Of competition.

From post one it seems quite evident that their entire relationship is based on games and competition.

 

[AvignonPapacy94]

Ah, so there is a power struggle, a power play in your relationship?

There is an element of it being a game? Of competition.

Of course.

 

[AvignonPapacy94]

To be clear, I do love my wife.

But isn’t a healthy competition a good thing so that we each strive to do better? Perhaps that’s a dumb question, since you all freak out anytime I use the word “win” when I, well, win.

 

[Marie5890]

Perhaps I should specify what I mean by porn–if you are talking full nudity and the performance of sexual acts, then I agree, the industry has corruptive elements that are definitely damaging. What I have more in mind is bikini modeling in which the women act of free will and make easy $$$. They are taking advantage of their God-giving blessings, and perhaps they are contributing to it as well (by working out, exercising, etc.) and earning some money while the man enjoys some harmless pleasure. It’s not like a middle-aged man is going to think that he can honestly land one of these babes, so I doubt it will actually harm his marriage.

Remember that kind of thought when, if you ever have a daughter, who is starving herself to be thin or leaning over the toilet as she makes herself throw up in order to keep her calorie intake down…

Yes, AviPap, porn, mild or extreme, is one of the biggest reasons young women have self-image damage and eating disorders…

But most never think of the great harm it does to our young girls. Hell, it’s a living, a way of making money… (oyyy what an argument)

 

[DAML72]

So in order to raise your kids Catholic, you have to be a perfect Catholic?

If you miss some masses, occassionally masturbate and look at porn, or use contraception with your life, then the faith forecloses to you?

Sorry, but I can’t believe that in a world of 1.2 billion Catholics, all of them are that perfect. I don’t think you should have to be the exemplar of every letter of Church teaching to raise your kids Catholic.

But you think if I drag my family to church every week, then it’ll be easier to win? I make about 2x as much money as my wife.

You don’t have to be perfect, but you at least have to embrace its teachings and strive to be holy. You profess that the Church holds the Truth, yet you pick and choose what you want to believe - dismissing those teachings that you don’t want to deal with. You could take the advice of people here and study what the Church teaches and why, and pray about it - that way you would be able to present a compelling argument to your wife. I’m not sure why you can’t understand this, unless you are a troll.

You don’t seem to want any advice that has anything to do with changing your viewpoint or settling this issue in cooperation with your wife. You might do better getting some books on persuasion and negotiation, such as ‘Getting to Yes.’

 

[AvignonPapacy94]

Ummm, Marie, I only have a son. And even if I did have a daughter, I doubt she would act like a two-bit scarlet woman because no one in her family acts like that.

 

[underacloud]

But you think if I drag my family to church every week, then it’ll be easier to win? I make about 2x as much money as my wife.

To explain the power dynamics of the relationship. For instance, if my wife gained like 75 pounds, she’d lose some of her upper hand. I make a lot more money, so that puts me in the driver’s seat a bit, so to speak. When we both are in disagreement, it helps being the one who can emerge victorious and get this resolved.

I’m shocked.

And outraged.

Nah, just kidding. I’m convinced you’re pulling our legs now. I actually laughed out loud when I read this. Your trolling has become absurdly humorous. Thanks for the laugh.

 

[Marie5890]

But isn’t a healthy competition a good thing so that we each strive to do better?

No, not in a marriage. Marriage, is about sacrifice. Not about competition. Christ and His Bride are the perfect example of what a marriage should be

Your POV is, at the very least, a distort secular view, not the Catholic view.

 

[DAML72]

To explain the power dynamics of the relationship. For instance, if my wife gained like 75 pounds, she’d lose some of her upper hand. I make a lot more money, so that puts me in the driver’s seat a bit, so to speak. When we both are in disagreement, it helps being the one who can emerge victorious and get this resolved.

I suggest that everyone stop feeding this troll.

 

[Marie5890]

Ummm, Marie, I only have a son. And even if I did have a daughter, I doubt she would act like a two-bit scarlet woman because no one in her family acts like that.

Look back at what I quoted from you.

You defending mild porn. Look at your defense.

You were talking about males and that it doesnt hurt them. No mention of females.

Go ahead, re-read what you posted

 

[firead]

To explain the power dynamics of the relationship. For instance, if my wife gained like 75 pounds, she’d lose some of her upper hand. I make a lot more money, so that puts me in the driver’s seat a bit, so to speak. When we both are in disagreement, it helps being the one who can emerge victorious and get this resolved.

This whole game and power balance thing will probably end up causing y’all problems in the long run and you might want to look into relationship counseling. That might help with the religion and child-rearing decisions, too.

Seriously, better now that later because if you have trouble in the future and she goes to a counselor or friend telling them you used finances as leverage or that her “power” in the relationship decreased based on her weight or physical attractiveness, they will try to frame that as over-controlling.

 

[Marie5890]

**What I have more in mind is bikini modeling in which the women act of free will and make easy $$$. They are taking advantage of their God-giving blessings, and perhaps they are contributing to it as well (by working out, exercising, etc.) and earning some money while the man enjoys some harmless pleasure. It’s not like a middle-aged man is going to think that he can honestly land one of these babes, so I doubt it will actually harm his marriage.
**

No mention, not one, of the damage this does to our young girls and the epidemic eating disorders.

Not one mention. Zero. Zilch.

 

[Catolico65]

To the OP, I understand your situation as my wife is protestant.

I recommend you point out to your wife that as Christians who follow the Bible God has stated the man is the head of the marriage and as such has the final word on important matters. Sill, to lessen the blow warm her up the week beforehand be especially nice, go to a movie, take her shopping with dinner after, etc. and generally let her decide most other matters during this time. Paz.

 

[Marie5890]

This whole game and power balance thing will probably end up causing y’all problems in the long run and you might want to look into relationship counseling. That might help with the religion and child-rearing decisions, too.

Seriously, better now that later because if you have trouble in the future and she goes to a counselor or friend telling them you used finances as leverage or that her “power” in the relationship decreased based on her weight or physical attractiveness, they will try to frame that as over-controlling.

Those are serious landmines waiting to explode if they are truly the dynamics of their relationship, for sure.

 

[Marie5890]

To the OP, I understand your situation as my wife is protestant. I also admire you and respect your decisions based on what you have posted.

I recommend you point out to your wife that as Christians who follow the Bible God has stated the man is the head of the marriage and as such has the final word on important matters. Sill, to lessen the blow warm her up the week beforehand be especially nice, go to a movie, take her shopping with dinner after, etc. and generally let her decide most other matters during this time. Paz.

That is certainly an approach that AviPap can take. And he can quote Bible verses, to boot.

That certainly would put to an end their competition.

 

[firead]

Ummm, Marie, I only have a son. And even if I did have a daughter, I doubt she would act like a two-bit scarlet woman because no one in her family acts like that.

But those two-bit scarlet women are good enough for you to get off to? That’s lovely.

Maybe you should do some research on the connection between porn and human trafficking.
It’s amazing how many girls on these porn & cam sites are runaways or immigrants who want out but have no way, and I’m sure attitudes like yours really help things.

 

[esieffe]

Ummm, Marie, I only have a son. And even if I did have a daughter, I doubt she would act like a two-bit scarlet woman because no one in her family acts like that.

2 bit scarlet woman? Like the ones you look at on those websites right?