Xantippe, my views are much more Orthodox than you can possibly imagine. Paul expressed an opinion that women should wear veils in Church, and to not speak, at all, while in Church. Is that Orthodox in your opinion? Been to Rome lately?
**He didn’t say that men are more logical then women, though, which is your position. He totally did not say that. You can search the Bible pretty much from end to end and not find any verse that says that women are emotional while men are logical. And for good reason–the Bible is full of very emotional men.
I was just looking for a piece on Jewish men, and I came across the following from Chabad, the Orthodox Jewish outfit:
“Jewish men are often described as gentler and more spiritual than the general male population; gentleness and spirituality are viewed as more feminine characteristics. Similarly, Jewish women have been described as more assertive and intellectual than the general female population; assertiveness and intellectualism are viewed as more masculine characteristics. Historically, Jews have been mocked and derided for these androgynous qualities.”
chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/1080/jewish/Jews-are-from-Sinai-not-Mars-or-Venus.htm**
It’s not clear exactly how far back those particular Jewish gender features go, but I think we can definitely say that it’s difficult (or impossible) to make a case from sacred scripture for the traditional American/Anglo-Saxon dichotomy between stoic men and emotional women. That dichotomy does not exist in the world of the Bible and I think it is an artifact of Anglo-Saxon culture.
You ask how far to follow your husband, because you say he’s less capable of you are in making good decisions.
No, everybody sometimes makes bad decisions. In a marriage, unless it’s an emergency requiring an immediate decision, I think there’s a lot of value in just hitting pause until a couple arrives at a decision that they can both live with, even if it takes a long time to reach consensus. There’s also a lot to be said for starting small and building incrementally. Let’s say he wants to sell everything and buy a chicken farm. Well, maybe the couple ought to start with backyard chickens or helping out a farmer on the weekends and see if they actually like chickens or the farm schedule. Or let’s say she wants to sell Avon. How about starting with a few hundred dollars of stuff bought in cash and only buying more with actual income from the business? Or he wants to quit his job and start a business. How about keeping the day job and building the business on nights and weekends? Or she wants a dog? How about pet-sitting or dog-walking as a business before bringing a dog into the home? Both husband and wife will make fewer mistakes if they go slow and get buy-in from a spouse as they go.
I should remind you that when you married him, you said you follow him to death. If you feel this was a bad decision, that decision was yours.
**Eh, where is “follow him to death” in the Catholic marriage vows? This is starting to sound like some sort of suicide pact. **
But God chose to speak to these values specifically because this is where supernatural graces come into the picture. Its easy for a man to compartmentalize things and forget his love for his wife. Its easy for a woman to just take the steering wheel and drive for a while. God called these two things out specifically because they were important.
**Eh, what is a woman supposed to do if her husband is mentally ill or senile? **
Your a woman, you were born with the, “How to manipulate men and get them to love you for it.” manual!
**Eh, no. Actually, I wasn’t. I was born with an almost complete lack of feminine wiles (thanks, autism spectrum!) and have had to painstakingly acquire them.
**
Why are you even asking how far you need to follow your husband?
**All human authority has limits. There is no human authority who can command total obedience, and it’s very much worthwhile to think hard about what the limits of human authority are in a variety of different situations. **
