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whatevergirl
Guest
My son deserves a good woman, just like my daughter deserves a good man.
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My son deserves a good woman, just like my daughter deserves a good man.
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23eagle23
Guest
whatever girl totally agree with you…
there is more to this situation…
my advise, stop postion on this forum, the people on this forum telling you to accept this “abuse” are wrong…her being pregnant isn’t an excuse for this behavior…
Go talk with a priest, your father, her father, big brother, another male friend who is a father, but someones else to talk about this issue…
I’ll pray for you and your wife
there is more to this situation…
my advise, stop postion on this forum, the people on this forum telling you to accept this “abuse” are wrong…her being pregnant isn’t an excuse for this behavior…
Go talk with a priest, your father, her father, big brother, another male friend who is a father, but someones else to talk about this issue…
I’ll pray for you and your wife
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happymommy
Guest
It’s not abuse for goodness sake. Lighten up people.
I would burst into tears over nothing when I was pregnant. Bite my husband’s head off if he looked at me the wrong way. It happens. One fight does not mean abuse. Did he help any by sleeping on the couch and not talking to her, no. He should be a man and take care of his wife, love her and the gift that she is growing for both of them to share. We don’t know the whole story, we don’t know what he said or did leading up to this. All we know is that she got mad, threw something and he got his feelings hurt. We don’t know how she is feeling or if he has even tried to talk to her since. I don’t think this is something he needs to run to the priest with, maybe talk to a friend. But I don’t think it’s the big deal you want it to be.
I would burst into tears over nothing when I was pregnant. Bite my husband’s head off if he looked at me the wrong way. It happens. One fight does not mean abuse. Did he help any by sleeping on the couch and not talking to her, no. He should be a man and take care of his wife, love her and the gift that she is growing for both of them to share. We don’t know the whole story, we don’t know what he said or did leading up to this. All we know is that she got mad, threw something and he got his feelings hurt. We don’t know how she is feeling or if he has even tried to talk to her since. I don’t think this is something he needs to run to the priest with, maybe talk to a friend. But I don’t think it’s the big deal you want it to be.
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whatevergirl
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Yeah, while I don’t think it’s in the abuse category, it could very well be hormonally related…I don’t believe in sweeping the behavior under the rug, and rewarding the behavior with a bouqet of roses. I never understand replies like that. As though women get a pass for being rude and hurtful, and men should just accept it because it’s hormones. It’s insulting, actually. Yes, hormones can wreak havoc with a woman’s body at various times in her life…pregnancy, pms, menopause…but being abusive to others, means it’s time to seek medical attention. Throwing things and saying extremely hurtful things should be reason to pause, and seek some help.
And like we would tell a man, the OP’s wife needs to recognize her problem, whatever it might be, find a way to cope with it…and apologize to her husband. Then, he can buy her flowers. I’m all for flowers, but I don’t see that the OP did something wrong to warrant feeling like he is in the doghouse.
This is definitely something can be worked out. But, if a woman is this out of control over hormones, she NEEDS to see her doctor. Plus, having such outbursts can be stressful on the baby.
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estesbob
Guest
Believe me it could’ve been worse. When my wife was 8 months pregnant with our second child she tearfully told me she felt fat-to which I replied -heck, you are fat.
Wrong answer and to this day my children do not know how close they came to being fatherless. And the moral of the story is to grin and bear it and a year from now you will be joking about it with her.
Wrong answer and to this day my children do not know how close they came to being fatherless. And the moral of the story is to grin and bear it and a year from now you will be joking about it with her.
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whatevergirl
Guest
well, that was a stupid response bob!
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Feanaro_s_Wife
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**Yeah, while I don’t think it’s in the abuse category, it could very well be hormonally related…I don’t believe in sweeping the behavior under the rug, and rewarding the behavior with a bouqet of roses. I never understand replies like that. As though women get a pass for being rude and hurtful, and men should just accept it because it’s hormones. It’s insulting, actually. Yes, hormones can wreak havoc with a woman’s body at various times in her life…pregnancy, pms, menopause…but being abusive to others, means it’s time to seek medical attention. Throwing things and saying extremely hurtful things should be reason to pause, and seek some help.
And like we would tell a man, the OP’s wife needs to recognize her problem, whatever it might be, find a way to cope with it…and apologize to her husband. Then, he can buy her flowers. I’m all for flowers, but I don’t see that the OP did something wrong to warrant feeling like he is in the doghouse.
This is definitely something can be worked out. But, if a woman is this out of control over hormones, she NEEDS to see her doctor. Plus, having such outbursts can be stressful on the baby.
I suggested flowers and an apology so he could be the example. He is supposed to be the non-hormonal rational one right now. I am only imagining myself in the situation…if my husband apologized for his wrong behavior and brought me flowers I would feel so blessed and apologize for my awful behavior as well.
In order for this to be resolved they need to talk. I suggested what I did as a way to open that door again. To calm things down so he could then let her know he was hurt by her behavior. I probably forgot to mention that
But for him to act like a child by giving her the silent treatment and withdrawing affection is not healthy and he does not have hormones as an “excuse”.**
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estesbob
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YUP-live and learn(but she was FAT!)well, that was a stupid response bob!
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whatevergirl
Guest
I don’t think he handled it correctly, Malia, either. But, we don’t know if he did nothing wrong, or just said something innocent, and she took it the wrong way, etc…etc…
IF HE DID SOMETHING wrong, yes he should be the one to apologize and smooth things over. If he did nothing, and she just went out of control, he should not apologize. That sends a message to women that hormones are an excuse to behave poorly, and they are not. If someone is that out of control…not talking ‘normal’ emotional outbursts such as crying for no ‘apparent’ reason (I still have those days with pms) …then, she needs to talk to her doctor. Having strenuous outbursts aren’t healthy for a pregnant woman to have, and she needs some help then.
But, I agree…the OP should have confronted the issue, and not just slept on the couch, and avoided her. But, if they have not been married long, they will learn to work out these differences as time goes on. It’s a work in progress.
I just wouldn’t apologize for my husband losing his temper and throwing things at me, if I didn’t do anything wrong.Hopefully, the OP’s wife realizes that she was out of sorts, and they can work to resolving things.
IF HE DID SOMETHING wrong, yes he should be the one to apologize and smooth things over. If he did nothing, and she just went out of control, he should not apologize. That sends a message to women that hormones are an excuse to behave poorly, and they are not. If someone is that out of control…not talking ‘normal’ emotional outbursts such as crying for no ‘apparent’ reason (I still have those days with pms) …then, she needs to talk to her doctor. Having strenuous outbursts aren’t healthy for a pregnant woman to have, and she needs some help then.
But, I agree…the OP should have confronted the issue, and not just slept on the couch, and avoided her. But, if they have not been married long, they will learn to work out these differences as time goes on. It’s a work in progress.
I just wouldn’t apologize for my husband losing his temper and throwing things at me, if I didn’t do anything wrong.Hopefully, the OP’s wife realizes that she was out of sorts, and they can work to resolving things.
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Feanaro_s_Wife
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No, he should apologize for giving her the silent treatment and sleeping on the couch. THAT is what the flowers are for. Two wrongs don’t make a rightI don’t think he handled it correctly, Malia, either. But, we don’t know if he did nothing wrong, or just said something innocent, and she took it the wrong way, etc…etc…
IF HE DID SOMETHING wrong, yes he should be the one to apologize and smooth things over. If he did nothing, and she just went out of control, he should not apologize. That sends a message to women that hormones are an excuse to behave poorly, and they are not. If someone is that out of control…not talking ‘normal’ emotional outbursts such as crying for no ‘apparent’ reason (I still have those days with pms) …then, she needs to talk to her doctor. Having strenuous outbursts aren’t healthy for a pregnant woman to have, and she needs some help then.
But, I agree…the OP should have confronted the issue, and not just slept on the couch, and avoided her. But, if they have not been married long, they will learn to work out these differences as time goes on. It’s a work in progress.
I just wouldn’t apologize for my husband losing his temper and throwing things at me, if I didn’t do anything wrong.Hopefully, the OP’s wife realizes that she was out of sorts, and they can work to resolving things.
And if there is something wrong hormonally she is not likely going to be able to rationally deal with it. An extra kind, gentle, and patient husband who does not take it personally however may be able to convince her to speak with her doc.
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whatevergirl
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ah! ok, yes…his behavior could be considered retaliation…and thus, flowers or some form of apology would be very nice. I know that when my dh and I have had misunderstandings…he has apologized, even if he feels he was right. lol I also though have admitted that when I am pms-ing, I’m not thinking as clearly as if I’m not…but, I always apologize if I say something off the cuff, or hurtful. That’s the thing…hopefully, she will see that her hormones are causing her (possibly) this angst, and apologize also.No, he should apologize for giving her the silent treatment and sleeping on the couch. THAT is what the flowers are for. Two wrongs don’t make a right
And if there is something wrong hormonally she is not likely going to be able to rationally deal with it. An extra kind, gentle, and patient husband who does not take it personally however may be able to convince her to speak with her doc.
Otherwise, it will keep happening, if she doesn’t recognize what’s wrong. But…I’m still waiting to hear from the OP what might have led up to this. If you feel like sharing, that is, OP.
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Feanaro_s_Wife
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ah! ok, yes…his behavior could be considered retaliation…and thus, flowers or some form of apology would be very nice.
**
Yes, retaliation, that’s what I was meaning. His thread title alone speaks volumes of how he is taking this. It wasn’t “how do I deal with my pregnant wife’s outburst?” It is personal, it is her rejecting him.**
I know that when my dh and I have had misunderstandings…he has apologized, even if he feels he was right. lol I also though have admitted that when I am pms-ing, I’m not thinking as clearly as if I’m not…but, I always apologize if I say something off the cuff, or hurtful.
Yes, but PMS hormones are such a short term thing. And you have had your whole life to learn to read your moods and come to understand how the hormones affect you. think back to being 13 or 14…probably had a ton of emotional outburst due to the raging hormones. This pregnancy stuff is probably new and overwhelming…and goes on for much longer than PMS! Give her a year or two AFTER the pregnancy and she may realize that she has a lot of things to apologize for, lol.
That’s the thing…hopefully, she will see that her hormones are causing her (possibly) this angst, and apologize also.
As long as there isn’t this whole wall between them about her rejecting him and him not loving her…that will cloud over any rational discussion that could potentially happen.
Otherwise, it will keep happening, if she doesn’t recognize what’s wrong.
And if he keeps overreacting to her overreactions
But…I’m still waiting to hear from the OP what might have led up to this. If you feel like sharing, that is, OP.
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happymommy
Guest
She might know that she was wrong and want to apologize, but he wasn’t talking to her, so now her feelings are hurt too. Hey, where did the guy go anyhow? Here we are worried about his marriage and he hasn’t come back! Do you think we scared him off being crazy women, or we might have hurt his feelings and now he isn’t talking to us, sorry that wasn’t nice, but it was a little funnyah! ok, yes…his behavior could be considered retaliation…and thus, flowers or some form of apology would be very nice. I know that when my dh and I have had misunderstandings…he has apologized, even if he feels he was right. lol I also though have admitted that when I am pms-ing, I’m not thinking as clearly as if I’m not…but, I always apologize if I say something off the cuff, or hurtful. That’s the thing…hopefully, she will see that her hormones are causing her (possibly) this angst, and apologize also.
Otherwise, it will keep happening, if she doesn’t recognize what’s wrong. But…I’m still waiting to hear from the OP what might have led up to this. If you feel like sharing, that is, OP.
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whatevergirl
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You know–Malia…I actually had no hormonal issues or morning sickness…nothing really to speak of (except discomfort in the final trimester) that caused me any problems during my pregnancy. I know that many women do…but maybe I was so happy to be period-free for 9 months, I was on cloud nine or something.
Really, my pregnancies were pretty carefree…my pms is worse than my pregnancy ever was!
lol
I hope the OP comes back, too…happymommy. Maybe he is just busy.
And Malia–good observation–yes, his title name does appear to be taking it as rejection. Interesting! I overlooked that, I guess.
Hopefully, they have made up and that is why he is busy and hasn’t come back on here to reply. 
Really, my pregnancies were pretty carefree…my pms is worse than my pregnancy ever was!lol
I hope the OP comes back, too…happymommy. Maybe he is just busy.
And Malia–good observation–yes, his title name does appear to be taking it as rejection. Interesting! I overlooked that, I guess.
Hopefully, they have made up and that is why he is busy and hasn’t come back on here to reply.
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Feanaro_s_Wife
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I hope so…or maybe she knocked him out cold:stretcher::crutches::blackeye:You know–Malia…I actually had no hormonal issues or morning sickness…nothing really to speak of (except discomfort in the final trimester) that caused me any problems during my pregnancy. I know that many women do…but maybe I was so happy to be period-free for 9 months, I was on cloud nine or something.
**
Actually I didn’t have any issues either. I keep telling hubby how lucky he was, lol. But there are enough women here who have a terrible time with the irrational/moody/sensitive/cry all the time stuff that I can guess it may be as bad, if not worse, for the OP’s wife.**
And Malia–good observation–yes, his title name does appear to be taking it as rejection. Interesting! I overlooked that, I guess.
**
It was the first thing I picked up on…probably because my husband has the same tendency. Any misstep on my part (small or big) is taken very personally (but is something we are both working on and it is getting much better!). That does nothing but make things worse. So I am hoping to have my experience help the OP before it spirals out of control.**
Hopefully, they have made up and that is why he is busy and hasn’t come back on here to reply.
Prayers for them either way!
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Oshiego_Rod
Guest
Good points and I will definately buy her a rose like I use to. Hopefully she doesn’t question how I got the cash to buy the rose since she takes charge of the accounts.
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Oshiego_Rod
Guest
Yes this is our first baby so we definately have much to learn.Just let it go. She didn’t mean to hurt you. Our emotions get the best of us when we are pregnant and sometimes something as logical as sick time, doesn’t make any sense to us. We worry more then ever thought possible. Just don’t laugh at her when she gets like this, she may kill you and I think it’s called justifiable homicide
Is this your first baby? If so, then it’s new to both of you. My advice is just be kind. Help her more, ask how she is doing ( you might have to duck if she is having a bad day and has anything in her hands
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Oshiego_Rod
Guest
Working in sales is not easy so my boss did have a few talks with me regarding my sales goal and I shared those discussions with my wife. The policy at work is that if you are sick please go home because we have a small enclosed area and germs can easily spread and infect others. I was sent home once by HR and this second time I made the decision. She works at a hospital so these two environments are totally different. Hope that helps.So…would you mind sharing the backdrop of what happened, that spurred her reaction? Again, not excusing it…but, to come out of the blue like that with nothing leading up to it, sounds really odd…even for hormonal reasons.
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Oshiego_Rod
Guest
I guess Jesus wasn’t kidding when we have to die to our wives.
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iluvmybabies
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Easily, speaking from experience I did that to my exhusband all the times I was pg and when I was in labor with my 3rd child I kicked him out of the hospital room, of course they let him back in once it was time…but the point is that he retaliated against me all the time, thus leading to our separation, and then divorce…
So glad you remained silent and didn’t do anything against her…Just don’t stay quiet…Talk! The point of a marriage, relationship, love, is TALKING! Conversation…If my ex would have been loving he would have remained silent and actually would have listenend to what I was telling him…And try to be compassionate with her and more caring…Try to listen more, and hear what she needs and has to say. Try to please her more often, I am not saying be her “slave” but reallly, remember she is carrying a child and it’s a difficult change for her…
You have no idea what a pg woman goes through…and all of our hormones and body discomforts, etc so please be patient with her…Speak with her and be kind to her, loving, sweet and romantic and ask her what she needs and wants…
Let me tell you if he would have done all of these things I still would have been married to that man!!!
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