Wife's Rejection

[Oshiego_Rod]

It seems like you (the OP) are on the right track!! Keep it up bud! Just pray for extra patience and keep praying for your wife and yall will be ok!

ps…I know it is hard, but please dont take the mean stuff she may say to heart!! Trust me, it is the hormones talking!

Thanks for sharing. This will help me remain calm when I talk to her later. I just need the grace of God to get me through this one.

 

[whatevergirl]

**
lol, posting links to TIFFANY’S of all places in the Christmas wishes thread kind of blows your cover, lol**

I plead the 5th. lol

 

[wifenmommy]

that’s really not that funny…please don’t joke like that. we would NEVER joke about that if a man posted that. I know you’re kidding, but c’mon.

I CAN joke like that because now we both think it was funny~actually we thought it was funny a couple minutes after it happened! My dh is a big ole cajun boy~he had worse mosquito bites! lol!

Double standard warning~I would have been fit to be tied if a guy posted that! I didnt make the rules~that is just how it is!

 

[Oshiego_Rod]

Just be as understanding and loving as you can be. Speaking from the perspective of someone who has been pregnant 4 times I can tell you HORMONES TAKE OVER. But don’t you dare point that out to her!!! Just be loving and supportive and tell her how much you love her. And oh yea, please pick up after yourself. (nothing worse then being pregnant and having to bend over to pick up hubbys messes) just thought I’d throw that in as a bonus tip.

That should not be a problem since I’m a neat freak.

Good advice not to mention the hormone thing. I will have to carry on as the good faithful servant of God that I try to be.

 

[wifenmommy]

Thanks for sharing. This will help me remain calm when I talk to her later. I just need the grace of God to get me through this one.

You will do fine~is seems as if you are on the right track! With the Grace of God and the love you have for your wife and baby, yall will be ok!! You are a good hubby for praying and trying your best to resolve this with your dw!! Good job!

 

[Oshiego_Rod]

I agree–It is a scary time. That is the right word, actually. :sad_yes: Scary meaning…unfamiliar territory.

This is true and could be one of the reasons why she is the way she was last night.

 

[iluvmybabies]

…anyway, its not like I left a mark or anything…:blackeye: :curtsey:

sorry that was kind of funny…

 

[Through_Him]

I do love to goof around but this was the first time I saw her violent side. I didn’t dodge objects but did see some Identified Flying Objects. I agree that a little humor can go a long way.

You must have an emotional wife, lucky you. Don’t worry I was like that because I didn’t really know how to verbalize my feelings kind of autistic because my parents always told me to shut up. My husband didn’t know what to do ither I was the one had to realize that it was not acceptable behavior. I would throw kitchen towels at him and he would be so upset, so I questioned him and found he had been beaten by his father and many bad things happened when he grew up. I had to seek another approach so I act like Dr. Phil and that is what he calls me when I ask calm questions. I was the anxious type lucky I had a good baby doc as he strapped my arms down when I had my babies, he knew. Start practicing with the calm voice it will help her in delivery and we all have a child that needs a quiet calm voice. Watch Dr. Phil and try to imitate him. And ask her if she wants your children acting like she does and handling the stress like that. Yelling is no good ither. There is always more to a story. You will really need to verbalize in the delivery if you are going to be there. My husband was there but not much of a coach he almost fainted. Does your wife have a mother or woman that can coach her? She may be more responsive. I would volunteer to cook for her when she doesn’t yell otherwise you are reinforcing bad behavior. Prayers to your family.

 

[GhostMan]

Here’s the thing: she got violent; she abused you. That’s unacceptable. Now, you made it worse by your actions, but the core matter is she committed an unacceptable atrocity in your marriage. No person should ever be forced to suffer the humiliation and potential danger of a person so out of control that they literally throw things at the other. And, the advice is get her flowers. Hmmm… I say get her counseling. Fast.

Listen, if the stress of pregnancy is too difficult for her, then actually caring for and raising an infant will be impossible. What happens when the baby screams all night and she loses her temper?

She needs to seek counseling for her anger and rage issues. She needs to understand that acting out in aggressive and physical ways is unacceptable. I urge you, for the safety of your child, to take this seriously and not ignore it as some cute “hormone” thing. That is sexism at its worst.

There is never an excuse to be so out of control that one puts others in danger; it is not a joking matter; it is not something to be ignored due to sex, age or hormones. This was a warning for you, what you do with it is up to you. If you think it was the last time you’ll see it, you have another think coming.

 

[Oshiego_Rod]

Here’s the thing: she got violent; she abused you. That’s unacceptable. Now, you made it worse by your actions, but the core matter is she committed an unacceptable atrocity in your marriage. No person should ever be forced to suffer the humiliation and potential danger of a person so out of control that they literally throw things at the other. And, the advice is get her flowers. Hmmm… I say get her counseling. Fast.

Listen, if the stress of pregnancy is too difficult for her, then actually caring for and raising an infant will be impossible. What happens when the baby screams all night and she loses her temper?

She needs to seek counseling for her anger and rage issues. She needs to understand that acting out in aggressive and physical ways is unacceptable. I urge you, for the safety of your child, to take this seriously and not ignore it as some cute “hormone” thing. That is sexism at its worst.

There is never an excuse to be so out of control that one puts others in danger; it is not a joking matter; it is not something to be ignored due to sex, age or hormones. This was a warning for you, what you do with it is up to you. If you think it was the last time you’ll see it, you have another think coming.

Actually, this is really out of character for her. I never saw so much raw emotion poured out all at once. I have been reflecting about this throughout the day and there are many things on her plate and I have not done the best job of being the husband there for her. All in all, it was a wake up call for me to give 100% of my attention to my pregnant wife without getting distracted on other things namely myself.

 

[Oshiego_Rod]

I would volunteer to cook for her when she doesn’t yell otherwise you are reinforcing bad behavior. Prayers to your family.

Funny, I already did last night. But I do thank you for sharing and for your prayers. Lord knows we need them. Without His strength I will definately falter. Well, time to put on the armor suit of God.

 

[happymommy]

Here’s the thing: she got violent; she abused you. That’s unacceptable. Now, you made it worse by your actions, but the core matter is she committed an unacceptable atrocity in your marriage. No person should ever be forced to suffer the humiliation and potential danger of a person so out of control that they literally throw things at the other. And, the advice is get her flowers. Hmmm… I say get her counseling. Fast.

Listen, if the stress of pregnancy is too difficult for her, then actually caring for and raising an infant will be impossible. What happens when the baby screams all night and she loses her temper?

She needs to seek counseling for her anger and rage issues. She needs to understand that acting out in aggressive and physical ways is unacceptable. I urge you, for the safety of your child, to take this seriously and not ignore it as some cute “hormone” thing. That is sexism at its worst.

There is never an excuse to be so out of control that one puts others in danger; it is not a joking matter; it is not something to be ignored due to sex, age or hormones. This was a warning for you, what you do with it is up to you. If you think it was the last time you’ll see it, you have another think coming.

You are kidding right? You really think she needs therapy? Just because she emotional while pregnant in no way means she can’t handle being a mother. How many times have you been pregnant. I tried to see if you were a GhostMan or GhostWoman, but you didn’t fill out any of your info. If you are infact a man, please do not tell women who we should or should not be while pregnant. You have no idea what it feels like and what it does to both your body and your mind. If you are a women, then maybe you were one of the lucky ones that didn’t has emotional problems while pregnant, great. Doesn’t mean you are a better parent. Now if she starts thumping him on the head with a lamp, then maybe he has to worry, but for all we know he wasn’t nice to her and she threw a pillow on the floor. He never said what was thrown, but he did say it was not at him.

 

[happymommy]

GhostMan, I would also like to add that if he gets this upset over her emotions, then by your way of thinking, maybe he won’t be able to handle his children and will get his feelings hurt every time one of them doesn’t want to play with him. Are you going to put the kid in therapy too. Sometimes children yell and throw things, why? They are angry, doesn’t mean they need prof. help. They need someone who will listen and not stop talking to them and go in the other room.

 

[wifenmommy]

I am just taking a guess here, but there is no way that Ghostman has ever been around a pregnant woman. Yes, some women, the hormones (which are really really powerful chemicals in a womans body) dont affect too much, but until you can experience what a mommy to be goes through, please dont insult his wife by saying she needs counceling or has anger issues.

 

[GhostMan]

I am just taking a guess here, but there is no way that Ghostman has ever been around a pregnant woman. Yes, some women, the hormones (which are really really powerful chemicals in a womans body) dont affect too much, but until you can experience what a mommy to be goes through, please dont insult his wife by saying she needs counceling or has anger issues.

I have ten children; we also had one die at five months, so I’m guessing you lost the bet.

Abusive behavior is abusive behavior whether or not it is caused by hormones, alcohol or drugs. You are still responsible for your actionsw. Throwing things is not normal, or acceptable, behavior. Wearing maternity pants while doing so does not justify it.

 

[wifenmommy]

Ok~I was wrong (and please accept my sympathy on the loss of a child), but by the reasoning of your post, I would have never guessed that you would have been around a mother to be. Yes, abuse is wrong, but we are comparing apples to oranges here. You cannot compare hormones to being on drugs. A violent temper is one thing, an irritated hormonal pregnant woman is totally another!

According to your reasoning, everytime someone gets annoyed or frustrated and may make a rash decision (like throwing something) they should be thrown into treatment with drug/alcohol addicts? The OP is doing the right thing and I am sure in response his wife will also.

 

[wifenmommy]

You are kidding right? You really think she needs therapy? Just because she emotional while pregnant in no way means she can’t handle being a mother. How many times have you been pregnant. I tried to see if you were a GhostMan or GhostWoman, but you didn’t fill out any of your info. If you are infact a man, please do not tell women who we should or should not be while pregnant. You have no idea what it feels like and what it does to both your body and your mind. If you are a women, then maybe you were one of the lucky ones that didn’t has emotional problems while pregnant, great. Doesn’t mean you are a better parent. Now if she starts thumping him on the head with a lamp, then maybe he has to worry, but for all we know he wasn’t nice to her and she threw a pillow on the floor. He never said what was thrown, but he did say it was not at him.

He posted that he has 10 children~his wife must have been one of the lucky few women that hormones did not affect during pregnacy. I know hormones affected me as well as all of my friends who are mommies!

 

[whatevergirl]

Ok~I was wrong (and please accept my sympathy on the loss of a child), but by the reasoning of your post, I would have never guessed that you would have been around a mother to be. Yes, abuse is wrong, but we are comparing apples to oranges here. You cannot compare hormones to being on drugs. A violent temper is one thing, an irritated hormonal pregnant woman is totally another!

According to your reasoning, everytime someone gets annoyed or frustrated and may make a rash decision (like throwing something) they should be thrown into treatment with drug/alcohol addicts? The OP is doing the right thing and I am sure in response his wife will also.

He didn’t say that…he said that whether the outburst came from hormones drugs or alcohol…it is wrong. I don’t disagree. I can attest that hormones can make a woman very unstable at times…and men need to understand that. Insulin is a hormone, and even that goes out of whack when a woman menstruates or is pregnant…but, the point I think GM was making is that people in general shouldn’t excuse this type of behavior because someone is hormonal.

That’s all.

 

[whatevergirl]

GhostMan, I would also like to add that if he gets this upset over her emotions, then by your way of thinking, maybe he won’t be able to handle his children and will get his feelings hurt every time one of them doesn’t want to play with him. Are you going to put the kid in therapy too. Sometimes children yell and throw things, why? They are angry, doesn’t mean they need prof. help. They need someone who will listen and not stop talking to them and go in the other room.

I wouldn’t want my son to have things thrown at him. I don’t throw things at my husband when I’m pms-ing, and I have had my trying moments. Yes, arguments are normal parts of marriage, not throwing things. I’m taken aback by the excusing of this behavior, simply because this woman is pregnant. She needs serious professional help if she is this distrought, frankly…and if the OP wishes to sweep the behavior under the carpet…I agree with GhostMan, that his wife will learn that she can act any way she pleases and excuse it all because of her hormones.

Pregnancy doesn’t make someone go crazy. Let’s not exaggerate ok? If anyone starts throwing things because they are pregnant…they need to get to their doctor, in a hurry. I actually am concerned for the OP’s wife’s health, because while hormones can cause odd reactions in a woman’s body…throwing things, etc means that something really could be wrong here. (physically and she needs something to balance her)

I think that the OP will try his best…but he shouldn’t have to deal with this type of behavior for nine months.

 

[wifenmommy]

Right, but comparing hormones and drugs/alcohol abuse is apples and oranges…