Wife's Rejection

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wifenmommy said:
Right, but comparing hormones and drugs/alcohol abuse is apples and oranges…:rolleyes:
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wifenmommy…he wasn’t comparing…he was saying that hormones, alcohol, drugs…all three can cause someone to be out of control at times. But, we wouldn’t excuse a man, let’s say, who was an alcohol abuser who threw something at his wife. He wasn’t comparing being hooked on drugs to having hormonal changes…I agree, no correlation. But, there is a connection, when you are using drugs and alcohol as an excuse for bad behavior.

Anyways…I wish the best for both of them. The OP sounds like he really wants to be a good husband, and dad. And let’s pray this was the wife’s one and only time she’ll have such an outburst. Verbal outbursts are ok, if one is venting, but hopefully, she’ll balance out as the pregnancy continues.

OP–Only reason I call you OP, and not by your name…is I forgot how to spell it, and I don’t want to scroll up to find your name again.😊

Bathing you and your wife in prayers. Hang in there…and please…have your wife speak to her doc about her outburst. God bless.
 
whatevergirl said:
I wouldn’t want my son to have things thrown at him. I don’t throw things at my husband when I’m pms-ing, and I have had my trying moments. 😦 Yes, arguments are normal parts of marriage, not throwing things. I’m taken aback by the excusing of this behavior, simply because this woman is pregnant. She needs serious professional help if she is this distrought, frankly…and if the OP wishes to sweep the behavior under the carpet…I agree with GhostMan, that his wife will learn that she can act any way she pleases and excuse it all because of her hormones.
I dont think (it doesnt appear from what the op stated anyway) that it is a continuous behavior pattern~we ALL have bad days.
Pregnancy doesn’t make someone go crazy. In the case of my ex sil it did!Let’s not exaggerate ok? Not exagerating, it really happens…If anyone starts throwing things because they are pregnant…they need to get to their doctor, in a hurry.It may have been just one instance of bad judgement I actually am concerned for the OP’s wife’s health, because while hormones can cause odd reactions in a woman’s body…throwing things, etc means that something really could be wrong here. (physically and she needs something to balance her) I agree, if this type of behavior would become more common and more intense

I think that the OP will try his best…but he shouldn’t have to deal with this type of behavior for nine months.
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It probably more than likely a one time deal~just cause I punched my dh (while pg~see my prev post) doesnt mean I have ever done it again~I havent! Sometime we pregnant or not make a bad judgement call!
 
oh my gosh, wifenmommy…i thought you were kidding that you punched your dh! :eek: :doh2:
 
whatevergirl said:
wifenmommy…he wasn’t comparing…he was saying that hormones, alcohol, drugs…all three can cause someone to be out of control at times. But, we wouldn’t excuse a man, let’s say, who was an alcohol abuser who threw something at his wife.Right! I get what yall are sayin’! He wasn’t comparing being hooked on drugs to having hormonal changes…I agree, no correlation. But, there is a connection, when you are using drugs and alcohol as an excuse for bad behavior. I definitly agree!

Anyways…I wish the best for both of them.Me too! The OP sounds like he really wants to be a good husband, and dad.He really does! It sounds like he is trying his hardest to be patient and understand! And let’s pray this was the wife’s one and only time she’ll have such an outburst.Most definitly! Verbal outbursts are ok, if one is venting, but hopefully, she’ll balance out as the pregnancy continues.I’m sure of it!

OP–Only reason I call you OP, and not by your name…is I forgot how to spell it, and I don’t want to scroll up to find your name again.😊

Bathing you and your wife in prayers. Hang in there…and please…have your wife speak to her doc about her outburst. God bless.
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Second that!!!👍
 
Ghostman, I agree…good to see your still around.

Whatevergirl, excellent advice…

but I believe its a lost cause. the OP last post he blamed himself. There is no hope…he will learn in time, i hope…

Duck and cover…
 
whatevergirl said:
oh my gosh, wifenmommy…i thought you were kidding that you punched your dh! :eek: :doh2:
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No girl!! I punched him so hard I knocked him backwards out of the chair!😊 Not one of my most ladylike moments! 😊 I remember feeling so ashamed and sorry afterwards! 😊
 
23eagle23 said:
Ghostman, I agree…good to see your still around.

Whatevergirl, excellent advice…

but I believe its a lost cause. the OP last post he blamed himself. There is no hope…he will learn in time, i hope…

Duck and cover…
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I’m sure they will be ok~they will probably both tell each other they are sorry!
 
wifenmommy said:
No girl!! I punched him so hard I knocked him backwards out of the chair!😊 Not one of my most ladylike moments! 😊 ** I remember feeling so ashamed and sorry afterwards!** 😊
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And I think that is the key here. NO ONE is saying just to sweep this under the rug, ignore it, and excuse it away due to hormones. We are all suggesting that it is more than likely hormone related and how to deal with it without taking it personally and to help the wife and the marriage. Being kind will get the apology out of her, because she probably feels awful for losing control. If she doesn’t feel bad then it is not a good sign. If your husband would have got enraged at you and told you right then and there that he will not be treated that way, how quickly would things have escalated out of control?
 
wifenmommy said:
No girl!! I punched him so hard I knocked him backwards out of the chair!😊 Not one of my most ladylike moments! 😊 I remember feeling so ashamed and sorry afterwards! 😊
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I’ll make sure not to make you angry. 😉 I’m joking.
 
Feanaro_s_Wife said:
And I think that is the key here. NO ONE is saying just to sweep this under the rug, ignore it, and excuse it away due to hormones. We are all suggesting that it is more than likely hormone related and how to deal with it without taking it personally and to help the wife and the marriage. Being kind will get the apology out of her, because she probably feels awful for losing control. If she doesn’t feel bad then it is not a good sign. If your husband would have got enraged at you and told you right then and there that he will not be treated that way, how quickly would things have escalated out of control?
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Okay…agree on the top part of the paragraph, not the final sentence. If my husband were to ever hit me…I’m out. That is a deal breaker. One time. This has never been an issue, but I told him that when we were dating.

Sorry wifenmommy, I would have left you.
:rotfl:
 
whatevergirl said:
Sorry wifenmommy, I would have left you.
:rotfl:
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I woulda left me too! LOL! Seriously, dh had that same talk while we were dating! He has never laid a hand on me, but Bless him, he had a really bad childhood as his father was abusive to my mil and my dh (Thank God he has not been in dh life for years now~dh and mil have been able to heal). We all make mistakes, we all make stupid calls sometime, and I think that is just what the OP’s wife did~not excusing it, but I’d bet that she is feeling bad for it now! I KNOW how she feels~been there!
 
wifenmommy said:
I woulda left me too! LOL! Seriously, dh had that same talk while we were dating! He has never laid a hand on me, but Bless him, he had a really bad childhood as his father was abusive to my mil and my dh (Thank God he has not been in dh life for years now~dh and mil have been able to heal). We all make mistakes, we all make stupid calls sometime, and I think that is just what the OP’s wife did~not excusing it, but I’d bet that she is feeling bad for it now! I KNOW how she feels~been there!
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That’s true. It’s good that you learned, and could grow from it.
God bless!

I’m officially bowing out of this thread…we did not mean to go off topic, OP. :o
 
Oshiego_Rod said:
It was actually two pillows. 👍
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WHAT???:eek: :eek: :eek:
You didnt say it was TWO!!! That’s a sign of BIG trouble!LOL! Just kidding! I think yall are gonna be just fine!! How are things? Keep doing what you are doing and everything is going to turn out a-ok!👍
 
wifenmommy said:
I am just taking a guess here, but there is no way that Ghostman has ever been around a pregnant woman. Yes, some women, the hormones (which are really really powerful chemicals in a womans body) dont affect too much, but until you can experience what a mommy to be goes through, please dont insult his wife by saying she needs counceling or has anger issues.
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Like I said it was out of character for her. She is always sweet and affectionate. She is God’s Gift to me. When I got home it was like nothing bad had really happened. So it was indeed her hormones.
 
Oshiego_Rod said:
Like I said it was out of character for her. She is always sweet and affectionate. She is God’s Gift to me. When I got home it was like nothing bad had really happened. So it was indeed her hormones.
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TOLD YA SO!!! 😃 😛 😃
Us good wives know a good wife when we hear (read! lol) it!! God Bless Yall!:blessyou: :aok: :yyeess:
 
wifenmommy said:
You cannot compare hormones to being on drugs. A violent temper is one thing, an irritated hormonal pregnant woman is totally another!

According to your reasoning, everytime someone gets annoyed or frustrated and may make a rash decision (like throwing something) they should be thrown into treatment with drug/alcohol addicts? The OP is doing the right thing and I am sure in response his wife will also.
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I was in an emotionally abusive relationship before and there is a difference between an abusive person versus a hormonal pregnant mommy to be. Remember that all pregnancies are not the same. God blessed her by not allowing her to have morning sickness but made up for that in the hormones department.

BTW, we have made up and the incident was never brought up because God willed it to be so for it was not really my wife acting up rather her hormones that were beyond her control.
 
wifenmommy said:
Right, but comparing hormones and drugs/alcohol abuse is apples and oranges…:rolleyes:
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No, I am saying that no matter the cause, you are responsible for your behavior.

Let’s say this post was a woman saying her husband smacked her because his team lost a big game and he was mad. If I posted:

Put some makeup on that bruise, put on a pretty dress, make him a steak and seduce him. That will make up for your being agrny when he belted you.

You would eviscerate me - rightly so. We cannot tolerate abusivbe behavior in anyone. Not even a pregnant woman.

I do worry for his child. Having an infant is a highly stressful thing. That I do know well. I know that if you are not in complete control of your emotions, bad things can happen. I think this woman has anger issues that need to be dealt with for the sake of her child. I’m not telling her husband to leave her; I’m only saying he needs to think of someone besides himself.

I’m also scolding the people who told him to buy her flowers and apoligize for being a target.
 
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