Wife's Rejection

[Oshiego_Rod]

Anyways…I wish the best for both of them. The OP sounds like he really wants to be a good husband, and dad. And let’s pray this was the wife’s one and only time she’ll have such an outburst. Verbal outbursts are ok, if one is venting, but hopefully, she’ll balance out as the pregnancy continues.

OP–Only reason I call you OP, and not by your name…is I forgot how to spell it, and I don’t want to scroll up to find your name again.

Bathing you and your wife in prayers. Hang in there…and please…have your wife speak to her doc about her outburst. God bless.

Thank you! We are doing fine now and this was the only time it had happened so you can imagine my shock at the time.

 

[Oshiego_Rod]

Ghostman, I agree…good to see your still around.

Whatevergirl, excellent advice…

but I believe its a lost cause. the OP last post he blamed himself. There is no hope…he will learn in time, i hope…

Duck and cover…

We were actually both the blame and there is always a lot to learn.

 

[wifenmommy]

No, I am saying that no matter the cause, you are responsible for your behavior.

Let’s say this post was a woman saying her husband smacked her because his team lost a big game and he was mad. If I posted:

Put some makeup on that bruise, put on a pretty dress, make him a steak and seduce him. That will make up for your being agrny when he belted you.

You would eviscerate me - rightly so. We cannot tolerate abusivbe behavior in anyone. Not even a pregnant woman.

I do worry for his child. Having an infant is a highly stressful thing. That I do know well. I know that if you are not in complete control of your emotions, bad things can happen. I think this woman has anger issues that need to be dealt with for the sake of her child. I’m not telling her husband to leave her; I’m only saying he needs to think of someone besides himself.

I’m also scolding the people who told him to buy her flowers and apoligize for being a target.

I dont think in this particular case is severe~we all have our bad times and it seems like they are both working hard and compromising. One temper flare (in an otherwise sweet, calm person) does not make it a continuing anger issue. Jmho!

 

[Oshiego_Rod]

Thank you all again for your insights. It is good to hear the woman’s side of things. We are still a newly married couple preparing to be new parents so please keep us in your prayers and we’ll be keeping you in ours. God knows who you were.

 

[wifenmommy]

Thank you! We are doing fine now and this was the only time it had happened so you can imagine my shock at the time.

Yep~I shocked poor dh a couple times during my pregnacy!! lol!

 

[Eucharisted]

hugs

I know I already posted a reply, but I think a hug is good too.

 

[wifenmommy]

Thank you all again for your insights. It is good to hear the woman’s side of things. We are still a newly married couple preparing to be new parents so please keep us in your prayers and we’ll be keeping you in ours. God knows who you were.

I remember those days! Yall both seem really good to each other and having God there also makes a BIG difference! God Bless yall and yall little family!

Adventures in married life and parenthood~gotta love 'em!!!

 

[wifenmommy]

hugs

I know I already posted a reply, but I think a hug is good too.

second that! Never can have too many hugs! :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

 

[Feanaro_s_Wife]

No, I am saying that no matter the cause, you are responsible for your behavior.

No one disagrees.

Let’s say this post was a woman saying her husband smacked her because his team lost a big game and he was mad. If I posted:

Give me a really big fat break. How about, what if a husband threw some pillows and yelled because he hadn’t slept for over 36 hours, had a brain tumor, low blood sugar, or just found out his mom died? Your example totally blows any credit anyone may have been willing to give you

Put some makeup on that bruise, put on a pretty dress, make him a steak and seduce him. That will make up for your being agrny when he belted you.
**
No one said anything about bruises. the OP himself has been emotionally abused and said this is different. And pillows certainly don’t make good weapons**

You would eviscerate me - rightly so. We cannot tolerate abusivbe behavior in anyone. Not even a pregnant woman.

Right, IF this was abusive behavior. He says it’s not. I’ts his marriage, or do you know better than he does?

I do worry for his child. Having an infant is a highly stressful thing. That I do know well. I know that if you are not in complete control of your emotions, bad things can happen.

Sorry to tell you, but no one is always in 100% complete control of their emotions…nope, not even men. And a loving spouse can go a long way in diffusing a potential blow up. No man (or woman) is an island…

I think this woman has anger issues that need to be dealt with for the sake of her child. I’m not telling her husband to leave her; I’m only saying he needs to think of someone besides himself.
**
And you are reading too much into this. he has not said anything of the sort…and HE is married to her, not you. Maybe you are projecting some of your own issues?**

I’m also scolding the people who told him to buy her flowers and apoligize for being a target.

**If you care to read more slowly, I suggested buying her flowers and apologizing for giving her the silent treatment and sleeping on the couch. Sorry, I refuse to be scolded.
**

 

[Feanaro_s_Wife]

Thank you all again for your insights. It is good to hear the woman’s side of things. We are still a newly married couple preparing to be new parents so please keep us in your prayers and we’ll be keeping you in ours. God knows who you were.

God Bless you, your wife, and that little miracle! Hubby and I are not newly married (see my ticker) but we are relatively new parents. NOTHING can prepare you for the joys and struggles that parenting brings. Rely on God’s grace and turn to His wisdom and love…we weren’t meant to do it alone. Love your wife, it is the best gift you can give your child:thumbsup:

 

[iamrefreshed]

I think revenge is in order here.

Wait until well after the baby arrives, and then, one evening when you are preparing for bed, whack her upside the head with a pillow!

 

[Feanaro_s_Wife]

I think revenge is in order here.

Wait until well after the baby arrives, and then, one evening when you are preparing for bed, whack her upside the head with a pillow!

**

LOL, yeah sure…you do that OP…let us know what happens

iamrefreshed: stop messing with the newlywed and new father, lol… that was mean**

 

[happymommy]

I think revenge is in order here.

Wait until well after the baby arrives, and then, one evening when you are preparing for bed, whack her upside the head with a pillow!

and not one mention about what the pillows are going through. You are just throwing them around willienillie and all they want is to be on the couch, maybe get fluffed now and again. It’s wrong, You clearly have issues with pillows and I’m sure many of those who are so into professional help, will suggest that to you. I think you need to say you are sorry to this poor guy and his pillows.

Just kidding, I wish him the best. Don’t take life so seriously, you only get to go on this ride once! :choocho: :choocho: :choocho:

 

[tapiocapudding]

I agree with whatevergirl that pregnancy doesn’t excuse throwing things and being really mean and that the OP’s wife owes him an apology!
That said I wasn’t terribly rational myself at times while I was pregnant. I remember when I was about 8 months pregnant my DH left the toilet seat up before bed and when I stumbled into the bathroom in the middle of the night to pee I didn’t check to see if the seat was down and fell right into the toilet. Not only that but because I was so very pregnant it took me a while to get back out of the toilet. Boy was I mad! I marched into the bedroom, turned on the lights tore the blankets off my DH and threw a tantrum. I told him that I was worried our baby was going to be stupid cause he had such a moron for a father among other things. I made DH sleep on the couch. But I apologized the next day!
DH also tells me I threatened to divorce him unless he got me a chocolate bar on several occaisions. I’m pretty sure I didn’t mean it

 

[happymommy]

Oh my goodness, I completly forgot that I hit my husband when I was pregnant with our oldest daughter! That last post brought it to mind,

I got up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. For some reason when he was done in there, he pulled the door shut. So as I was stumbling around in the dark I walked right in to the bathroom door. Head on, and belly on too, BAM. I turned around marched back into the bed room and with all of my strength punched him in the arm. Boy did he jump. I can’t believe I forgot about that. Oops. Guess I need help too

 

[wifenmommy]

I KNEW I wasnt the only violent one in here!! Uh huh!! Caught Yall!!

 

[iluvmybabies]

I wouldn’t want my son to have things thrown at him. I don’t throw things at my husband when I’m pms-ing, and I have had my trying moments. Yes, arguments are normal parts of marriage, not throwing things. I’m taken aback by the excusing of this behavior, simply because this woman is pregnant. She needs serious professional help if she is this distrought, frankly…and if the OP wishes to sweep the behavior under the carpet…I agree with GhostMan, that his wife will learn that she can act any way she pleases and excuse it all because of her hormones.

Pregnancy doesn’t make someone go crazy. Let’s not exaggerate ok? If anyone starts throwing things because they are pregnant…they need to get to their doctor, in a hurry. I actually am concerned for the OP’s wife’s health, because while hormones can cause odd reactions in a woman’s body…throwing things, etc means that something really could be wrong here. (physically and she needs something to balance her)

I think that the OP will try his best…but he shouldn’t have to deal with this type of behavior for nine months.

If anyone noticed, the OP had stated that he has never seen his wife like this before and that he ADMITS he hasn’t been there for her 100% all of this can build up in an emotionally unstable pg woman, at this time, so does he deserve it, no of course not, but she didn’t throw anything at him, she just threw things, and he didn’t say what she threw for all we know it was a pillow, or a piece of paper, or her shoe, or her purse or the tv remote…GOD knows the point is that even though her actions are not acceptable it was the only way she seemed to be able to get his attention for whatever reason and he needs to deal with this the best way possible which is through communication…

She doesn’t deserve to be punished or persecuted or spoken bad about for her actions just like he doesn’t either even after admitting he hasn’t really been there for her, they just need to talk and work things out…As long as he is willing to work it out and she is they should be fine, GOD willing!

I just get the feeling that the OP has really been ignoring whatever subjects of matter his wife has tried to reach him about, maybe not meaningfully but as he also stated in previous posts, he tries to avoid confrontations and likes to stay at work a bit late, that too could be part of the reasons for her lashing out…

So before anyone starts reducing this woman to a person who can’t seem to control herself, let’s just think for a moment that the information the OP has started out with wasn’t really sufficient enough to really say much except what we can advice regarding communication…and the fact that he seems to be handling it pretty well! And that I do hope that things work out… I am sure he means well and is serious about dedicating his time for his wife and not so much for himself as he posted that it seems he’s been doing…

I know having a new baby is difficult in all aspects and the fact that men emotionally might have a bit of a strain in accepting that they will no longer be the number one in their wives minds/bodies/etc…it’s a transition of husband to fatherhood that can stress a man out as well enough to ignore certain issues with his wife and that’s normal, but he too needs to put in his part. That was very sweet of him to cook for her, because even though what she did was wrong, and his pride might or might not have been hurt, he did something that Jesus would have done which was instead of telling her off, do something for her-cook for her-make sure that baby had some good food…He’s not rewarding her, he’s making sure his baby will have something good to eat, nutrition which is important for any unborn child!!

I do wish them well and God bless them, hopefully last night he was able to speak with her and they were able to work things out…

 

[wifenmommy]

We could always start a support group…Angry Hormonal Women! LOL!

This could be our symbol…:stretcher:
or this
:slapfight: …or maybe this…:blackeye: :crutches: LOL!!!

 

[thomfra]

Here’s the thing: she got violent; she abused you. That’s unacceptable. Now, you made it worse by your actions, but the core matter is she committed an unacceptable atrocity in your marriage. No person should ever be forced to suffer the humiliation and potential danger of a person so out of control that they literally throw things at the other. And, the advice is get her flowers. Hmmm… I say get her counseling. Fast.

Listen, if the stress of pregnancy is too difficult for her, then actually caring for and raising an infant will be impossible. What happens when the baby screams all night and she loses her temper?

She needs to seek counseling for her anger and rage issues. She needs to understand that acting out in aggressive and physical ways is unacceptable. I urge you, for the safety of your child, to take this seriously and not ignore it as some cute “hormone” thing. That is sexism at its worst.

There is never an excuse to be so out of control that one puts others in danger; it is not a joking matter; it is not something to be ignored due to sex, age or hormones. This was a warning for you, what you do with it is up to you. If you think it was the last time you’ll see it, you have another think coming.

On what planet do you live?

If you take a pregnant wife with temper tantrums to a counciler they will laugh you out of the office. if it continues after the kids are grown (or was exhibited before she was pregnant) then yeah, that’s something else.

 

[thomfra]

If anyone noticed, the OP had stated that he has never seen his wife like this before and that he ADMITS he hasn’t been there for her 100% all of this can build up in an emotionally unstable pg woman, at this time, so does he deserve it, no of course not, but she didn’t throw anything at him, she just threw things, and he didn’t say what she threw for all we know it was a pillow, or a piece of paper, or her shoe, or her purse or the tv remote…GOD knows the point is that even though her actions are not acceptable it was the only way she seemed to be able to get his attention for whatever reason and he needs to deal with this the best way possible which is through communication…

She doesn’t deserve to be punished or persecuted or spoken bad about for her actions just like he doesn’t either even after admitting he hasn’t really been there for her, they just need to talk and work things out…As long as he is willing to work it out and she is they should be fine, GOD willing!

I just get the feeling that the OP has really been ignoring whatever subjects of matter his wife has tried to reach him about, maybe not meaningfully but as he also stated in previous posts, he tries to avoid confrontations and likes to stay at work a bit late, that too could be part of the reasons for her lashing out…

So before anyone starts reducing this woman to a person who can’t seem to control herself, let’s just think for a moment that the information the OP has started out with wasn’t really sufficient enough to really say much except what we can advice regarding communication…and the fact that he seems to be handling it pretty well! And that I do hope that things work out… I am sure he means well and is serious about dedicating his time for his wife and not so much for himself as he posted that it seems he’s been doing…

I know having a new baby is difficult in all aspects and the fact that men emotionally might have a bit of a strain in accepting that they will no longer be the number one in their wives minds/bodies/etc…it’s a transition of husband to fatherhood that can stress a man out as well enough to ignore certain issues with his wife and that’s normal, but he too needs to put in his part. That was very sweet of him to cook for her, because even though what she did was wrong, and his pride might or might not have been hurt, he did something that Jesus would have done which was instead of telling her off, do something for her-cook for her-make sure that baby had some good food…He’s not rewarding her, he’s making sure his baby will have something good to eat, nutrition which is important for any unborn child!!

I do wish them well and God bless them, hopefully last night he was able to speak with her and they were able to work things out…

Great post!!!

To be honest I feel some of the other posters are trying to egg on a conflict.