If he is sincere in his belief that the Catholic Church is not the true Church he is no longer bound by her rules. If he were, all ex-Catholics should be excommunicated! His wedding will be morally and legally valid unless it is merely a pretext for doing what he likes but he is no longer entitled to receive the Sacraments.
False.
With the effect of His Holiness Benedict XVI’s
motu proprio from last year, Catholics, even those who formally defect from the church, are still bound by the church’s norms regarding the administration of the sacrament of marriage.
I think the whole reason for this was to remove the headaches that this exception was causing. The only recognized formal defection was to write a letter to your bishop or pastor that was received and acknowledged that indicated your desire to separate yourself from the church.
Hence, your son is still contracting an invalid marriage.
Now that I’d dispensed with the canon law, there’s the more pastoral side of it. It is most prudent not to act by what canon law says, but by what will be most beneficial for your son. If you genuinely believe that rejecting this marriage and signifying it by refusing to attend will lead your son to a more genuine faith in Christ and back to full communion with Christ’s Church, by all means, boycott the wedding.
If you believe it will only hinder your relationship with your son and make him more likely to hate the religion of his upbringing and continue to reject it in the future, I would recommend going. If she is wise, prayerful, and holy, although she is a heretic, then count yourself fortunate. It is not the end of the world. In fact, if you pray frequently and only try to show your son and his wife Christian charity, it may lead them home to the Catholic Church.
Technically, under canon law, your son is contracting an invalid marriage. However, canon law is the church militant’s law, and although she is undeniably holy, her canons are not perfect. Judging by their love and their intent for their marriage and their intent to follow God’s will, they may contract a marriage that while technically illicit and invalid, has all the other markings of a truly sacramental marriage. However, this is a best base scenario. Likely they intend to use contraception, which totally invalidates the marriage. However, simply because something is invalidated does not mean that it is wholly devoid of grace.
I recommend a lot of prayer, fasting, and extra effort to restoring an open, honest relationship with your son - evidently he is having trouble communicating to you exactly why he has rejected the Catholic faith.
I’d recommend submitting this as a question to the official people - they can give you a much better detailed answer than I.
You are not alone. Tomorrow, I will be in the wedding of my brother to a former Catholic - their marriage is definitely invalid. They plan to use contraception - I explained to him why it was wrong. By God’s grace, I think I explained it clearly enough to give him no just cause to use it. He could not respond. However, his heart is hard and he will still use it.
At the rehearsal, they were discussing how they are going to have communion at their wedding - for the bride and groom alone - such an odd idea. I’ve seen it at two weddings and heard about it at more. It exemplifies the, “Jesus and me and no one else” mentality that many American Evangelicals have. The Protestant pastor was saying that it didn’t matter if they use red or white wine or grape juice because it was just a representation. My brother, knowing I am Catholic looked at me and said something smart-alecky, and I said, rather confidently, “Yes, tomorrow it will be just a symbol, and nothing more.” I probably shouldn’t have. It was a little rude and impetuous, but he understood. I looked over and I saw the bride’s poor Catholic father. The pain in his eyes was tangible. He knew that it wasn’t going to be Christ they were ingesting at their wedding, that she wasn’t being married by a priest, and that she had rejected their faith (she is 22 as well, actually).
I will pray for you.
