I became very interested with Wicca/ Paganism when I was younger. It appealed to me because it gave me means to be spiritual and connect with ‘something more’ while avoiding any sort of ‘evil’ organized religion. That is how I felt about it at the time. Wicca is also very appealing as a female because it deifies womanhood and fertility. It furthermore takes elements of whimsy and fantasy that most people adore from their childhood and attempts to paint them as real. It’s very seductive to a young questioning mind.
For me, it was so much fun to go running outside in nature with other girls, hold hands, dance, and ‘draw down the moon’. They even had their own take on eucharist interwoven into ritual: ‘cakes and ale’. We also used to read tarot cards and play at having powers/ being able to see glimpses of things in meditation or while dreaming. Here is the thing… We were playing. 100% It was no different from playing make-believe as kids. We never admitted to it, but I think we all knew it. I think there was this shared sentiment of- if I am going to pretend to believe in something, in order to be less afraid of life/death, I want it to be a fun thing that doesn’t judge other people.
Now- I can’t speak for the people who talk about possessions and the like. I don’t think we ever experienced that, even playing around with quigi (sp?) boards. Not in any noticeable way at least…
I can say this. It never satisfied. It never filled the voids we were trying to fill. It as ‘fun’ and it made me feel ‘cool’ and ‘different’, but it never fed the longings in spirit. I remember feeling very depressed at that point in my life.
For me- the turn around came when I had children and felt this inexplicable longing to raise them in the church. I remember watching the news and listening to people talk/ peers talk and thinking ‘What is wrong with the world?’ Wherever I saw sickness in society, it became more and more obvious that the problem areas were directly related to a turning away from Christianity. If Christianity was so good for the world and so good for people… maybe it was true?
I began my journey back. It’s now strange to think I used to consider myself a witch. I feel kind of embarrassed remembering it. When I meet other ladies, some even my age now, who are into it- I feel second hand embarrassment for them.
