Wives, what do you do for your husbands to make them excited to come home after work?

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shirleytowers said:
In the fourth place, if he doesn’t like it the way it is, why do I want him around anyway? Like I am here to please him and make him happy. NOT. If I was panting around like a puppydog trying to please him, he’d hate it. Sheesh.
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Ouch. “If he doesn’t like it the way it is, why do I want him around anyway?” -uh… because you married him and I’m assuming you love him? This has nothing to do with “panting around like a puppy dog.” So your would hate if you tried to do something nice for him? Something that made him feel special or made him go “wow” when he opened the door?

My husband works his but off at work to provide for us, and a little decluttering, dinner on the table and the occasional greeting with an empassioned kiss goes a long way in showing I love and appreciate him. When he was laid off and I was working alot of hours I learned appreciate coming home to a reasonable clean house and a little extra attention.
 
rayne89 said:
Ouch. “If he doesn’t like it the way it is, why do I want him around anyway?” -uh… because you married him and I’m assuming you love him? This has nothing to do with “panting around like a puppy dog.” So your would hate if you tried to do something nice for him? Something that made him feel special or made him go “wow” when he opened the door?

My husband works his but off at work to provide for us, and a little decluttering, dinner on the table and the occasional greeting with an empassioned kiss goes a long way in showing I love and appreciate him. When he was laid off and I was working alot of hours I learned appreciate coming home to a reasonable clean house and a little extra attention.
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Here! Here!

I have realized that I expect quite a lot from my husband. Everything from full financial support to killing spiders to telling me I look pretty. It’s selfish to only take, take, take and not be willing to give for the sheer pleasure of giving to someone you love.
 
katybird said:
Here! Here!

I have realized that I expect quite a lot from my husband. Everything from full financial support to killing spiders to telling me I look pretty. It’s selfish to only take, take, take and not be willing to give for the sheer pleasure of giving to someone you love.
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:amen: (especially to that spider line!)
 
This sort of reminds me of the lady that posted a thread saying that she’d like to have her husband come home one day with a $2 carnation. I can only say so much, being that I’m not married, but I think both would be much happier if both spent five or ten minutes try to do something for the other after the day. It might have to start with one doing it, then trying to drop some hints of something little the other could do that would really be really appreciated. Thinking about it, isn’t that something you kinda did when you where dating trying to think that you’d be a good person to keep on dating and more? Sometimes the little things show more than the big things.
 
I have children…
He’s excited enough to come home to them every day… well, we BOTH are, since I work full time too…

We SHARE ALL the work… cooking, cleaning, full time careers to provide for our family… we’re a TEAM…

So when we both get home in the evenings… we show each other our mutual appreciation… by continuing to share the “work”…
But as long as we’re home as a family… it’s NEVER “work”… it’s FUN to cook and clean and play with our kids…
Man, in some ways I think I’d feel selfish as a SAHM… (I’m not saying others should, that’s just me)…
 
No matter how busy I am, I always kiss him when he comes home and ask him how his day went.
 
Since I havent read a reply that fit my opinion :rolleyes: I thought Id throw my change on the table and give it a shot…

its refreshing to hear someone asking others about different ways to impress/excite DH. I guess after 17 long years and 3 kids later, “impressing or exciting” him when he comes in from work isnt something that I think about very often. Actually, the kids maul him, and his ox (lab dog) gets to him before I do… so anything exciting that happens IN OUR HOME comes at other times…

Ive left a note of personal prayer & protection throughout his day, in his truck (on the steering wheel) - so that this is the first thing he sees when he leaves the house. His phone call later in the day (and weeks later) made me realize that he truly appreciated this…

Ive been nice to his dog (in front of him). This is very hard - cause I **really **dislike that animal… Funny how excited he gets when he sees this exchange of kindness.

Ive left a voice mail on his cell phone that is, umm… a little… ummm… something for him to look forward to regarding having ‘relations’ (we’re both SFO’s, so neither of us get really really raunchy… maybe a little, but not gross-out stuff)

Another thing that just came to mind is that sometimes when he walks in, me and the kids start clapping hands and yell: “yeahhh!!! Daddy’s home!!”
He smiles as the kids attack him.
i guess this gets him excited… dunno?!

Good luck.
Im gonna keep checking back to read what the others are suggesting!
 
Gardenswithkids,

OK, I understand. I guess I would notice and appreciate it if there was an appearance that my wife was “on top of things” when I walked in the door. Its just that, lately, with 4 kids and 2 on the way, I honestly wouldn’t feel a lego in my foot if she were simply energetic and smiling when I came home. I understand that wives often need to just unload on their husbands, however, I’ve had to tell my wife that doing so on a daily basis is a bit abusive - I’m not a sewer pipe that carries away all the refuse. She’s been better.

I’m envious of your husband.

Shirleytowers,

Thanks. Your post was wonderful. I really appreciate my own wife a whole lot more!
 
Another thing that just came to mind is that sometimes when he walks in, me and the kids start clapping hands and yell: “yeahhh!!! Daddy’s home!!”
He smiles as the kids attack him.
i guess this gets him excited… dunno?!
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Yes! This is it. I love it when my homecoming is noticed with glee, by the whole family. I think that’s why men love dogs so much, there just is nothing like coming home to your dog.

Actually I think there was once a comical comparison of a dog’s behavior and true Christianity. Something like If you can greet your spouse every day in the same way as if they had just come home from war; if you can jump up and down an gobble up the same food day after day like it was the best thing you’ve ever ate; if you can take a smack then turn around and lick (kiss) the very person who smacked you; if you can … Then you’ll be as good a Christian as your dog.

Yes, dogs exemplify St. Teresa’s “Little Way”, they do little things but with great love.
 
One line of my post came across not right, not as I meant it, the one about why would I want him around…I meant why would I have married him, more precisely. Sorry about that.

Okay, your’re disgusted I don’t try to please my man when he comes home from work… I kind of got the impression you all thought that was what everyone ought to do. …well, again, he doesn’t work. I do. DId you read that part? So should I expect him to be waiting in a negligee or something? We both just like peace and quiet like I said before, and as I said, he would hate it if I acted like some kind of June Cleaver. And I would hate it too. We are partners. We talk, we share our day, I cook and do the laundry after working an 8 to 12 hour day. We put the kids to bed. He doesn’t want special treatment or me to fawn on him or wait on him. He doesn’t like it and won’t LET me do it.

We both feel the same way. He likes me strong and independent and not fussing over him or contriving to entertain him or excite him in the way you are talking about. Not everybody is like that or wants to be.

The kind of stuff you guys are talking about for me would be kind of phony and shallow and insincere. I find it quite revolting, frankly. For you it might be natural, but for us it isn’t. It’s just not the way everyone likes it or has to be. I assure you he would agree 110% with me here. My post was pretty much just to make the point that not everyone thinks that way and not everyone has to. They can still have enviable relationships. 🙂
 
I make sure that I’m off the computer and that dinner is on the table…I do this as soon as I hear the car coming up the driveway…😉 Oh…and of course I’m well groomed and out of my sweats too…😃
 
shirleytowers said:
One line of my post came across not right, not as I meant it, the one about why would I want him around…I meant why would I have married him, more precisely. Sorry about that.

Okay, your’re disgusted I don’t try to please my man when he comes home from work… I kind of got the impression you all thought that was what everyone ought to do. …well, again, he doesn’t work. I do. DId you read that part? So should I expect him to be waiting in a negligee or something? We both just like peace and quiet like I said before, and as I said, he would hate it if I acted like some kind of June Cleaver. And I would hate it too. We are partners. We talk, we share our day, I cook and do the laundry after working an 8 to 12 hour day. We put the kids to bed. He doesn’t want special treatment or me to fawn on him or wait on him. He doesn’t like it and won’t LET me do it.

We both feel the same way. He likes me strong and independent and not fussing over him or contriving to entertain him or excite him in the way you are talking about. Not everybody is like that or wants to be.

The kind of stuff you guys are talking about for me would be kind of phony and shallow and insincere. I find it quite revolting, frankly. For you it might be natural, but for us it isn’t. It’s just not the way everyone likes it or has to be. I assure you he would agree 110% with me here. My post was pretty much just to make the point that not everyone thinks that way and not everyone has to. They can still have enviable relationships. 🙂
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I agree every relationship is different. There’s different chemistry, personalities, dynamics etc. I’m glad you’ve found what works for you and your husband. I have to say my husband would laugh at the description of me being anywhere near June Cleaver.😃 And what may seem phony & shallow to you is quite sincere. I do the things I do because I love my husband deeply. I want him to know how much I appreciate him. It really isn’t about doing things because he works, even when he was laid off I try to do little things that he would appreciate. To me it’s about not taking the other for granted. My husband does it too - so it’s not a one sided thing.

Some people are completely turned off by romantic gestures and prefer a very practical, simple relationship and that’s ok too -if both partners feel that way.
 
SueKrum said:
Ok, I don’t have any trouble getting my hubby to come home from work or anything, but I was kind of thinking that when I’m off and he’s working, I should do some little things to make him excited about comming home. I know he’s looking forward to seeing me and having supper, but I worry that after a few years, it may get a little…boring. We are both pretty layd back and don’t require a lot of frills and thrills, but still, it might be nice to do some neat things for him every now and then. to surprise him and keep him guessing.

what sorts of things do you ladies do? do you make special dinners? get candles? wear something different? Make yourself all pretty?

I’m just scouting for maybe a couple of simple ideas to put a big smile on my husband’s face when he comes in from a long hard day of work.
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We both work at the same place, so we ride in, and ride home together. My husband enjoys cooking…(have at it)…so he has done all the cooking for the past 25 yrs. The kids always knew when dad wasn’t cooking and mom was…because it was either, chinese, pizza, taco bell, or going out to Outback. I freely admit, I don’t like to cook. If he is working overtime on Saturdays, I will always BAKE a batch of his favorite oatmeal raisin cookies. And I will usually be ready to take him out for a relaxing dinner…just us two. We are looking forward to the “empty nest” years. He is a wonderful husband and father. I am truly blessed. We have date night once a month…and ask our college age kids…to fly the coop for awhile on date nights. He is truly my life partner. He gets up in the morning before I do, and makes coffee and our lunches for the day. I am in awe of this man. When he wants to watch football…have at it…you earned it…boy-o. I don’t mind at all. I don’t pant after him like a puppy…and he would think I was a nutcase if I did. I enjoy our time together…and I know he likes to have things done simply…relaxed…calm…this is what I do for him. He has a clean home, beautiful kids, and a loving wife, that is all he wants…and yes, he does the cleaning too and always pitches in, since we both work.
 
StephanieC said:
What really matters to him?

While* I* might think it’s nice to dress up nice & smell nice & have the house in shape, those aren’t the things he would truly appreciate. (I’m sure he’d miss them if I stopped, but we’re talking about positive reinforcement, here!)

It is my understanding that nothing says “I love you honey–welcome home” to most men than a wife who’s eager to make love to them as soon as possible upon their arrival home.

Sometimes a distant second is a full-body massage, or a foot-rub.

Sometimes a few hidden “head’s up–here’s what I have planned for you” notes placed strategically where he will find them during his workday are fun! 😉
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As a man who has spoken with many male friends who are married (tha k God i am single) one of the best things a wife can do is: not start bickering, complaining about where he left his socks, shoes, etc. and have a smiling face not an angry accusing face, what a turnoff.
 
Sometimes I am home first and sometimes he’s home first. Whoever is home first usually puts together a meal.
The very first thing we do when one of us walks through the door is a hug and kiss.

I usually meet him at the door if I am not cooking.

We don’t unload our day until after dinner.

I noticed OP mentioned making love ASAP after DH coming home. 🙂 Although a very nice thought…It just made me chuckle, DH would probably think I was nuts and ask if he could relax first because he is tired (as am I) after a long day of work! :yup: But really to me there is nothing better than a great big warm hug and kiss right after work.

Pumpkin
 
What we’ve done has changed over the past 28 years of marriage. In the beginning we still had the time and energy to plot things for each other (we married while we were in college). Then the children came. Staying up late with a cranky baby meant more than any bottle of champagne or bouquet of roses ever could. Now one child is on her own and the youngest is in college. We both work long hours in stressy jobs and the best things we give each other at this stage are love and peace. For us, home is our safe haven. It’s the one place in our world that it’s peaceful, with the people in the world who love us. 20 years ago that would’ve seemed incredibly boring to me, when we were in our conquer the world phase, but we’ve since seen the world (Europe, Asia, and North America at least) and there really is no place like home.
 
Pumpkin said:
But really to me there is nothing better than a great big warm hug and kiss right after work.

Pumpkin
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I know what you mean 🙂 when I’m home in the afternoons, my husband comes home for lunch and I try and plan it just right, so lunch is on the table and me and the doggie are standing at the door ready to give him a huge hug and lots of kisses (most of them from the dog) right as he comes in. I Like to be standing there with my arms open if I Hear him comming up the steps 🙂
 
crmcfl said:
For us, home is our safe haven. It’s the one place in our world that it’s peaceful, with the people in the world who love us. 20 years ago that would’ve seemed incredibly boring to me.
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I totally agree with you. We **ARE **probably considered boring for 30 somethings!
SueKrum said:
…me and the doggie are standing at the door ready to give him a huge hug and lots of kisses (most of them from the dog) right as he comes in. I Like to be standing there with my arms open if I Hear him comming up the steps 🙂
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We have bunnies so I do most of the kissing!😉 However we both tend to to tell the bunnies in a singsong voice… “Bunnies, honey is home!”
We are so silly!
 
Here, here! More of the same things listed above, I’d say–some quick tidying, a big smile and a warm hug. I’d also think that it would be a good idea to spend some time in prayer before he came home to make sure that spiritually I am all straightened out and ready to be an instrument of His love! I think being married to somebody in love with God would be the best of all, if that is your vocation.
In No Greater Love, Mother Theresa says that she remembers how much her parents loved each other. When her father would be coming home from work soon, her mother would rush to get her little chores done to be waiting to greet him. They teased her about it at the time but she said that in retrospect, it really had an impression on her. I think real, tender love is in doing tiny things but doing them consistently. Amen.
 
On a day to day basis I make sure that no matter what I am in the middle of, I stop and greet him at the door with a hug and a kiss and tell him I missed him. He usually has his hands full with the mail, his morning coffee cup, his lunch bag and his insulin kit so I usually take these things from him, shoo the doggies away and let him sit down and put his feet up. From his years of soccer, baseball and hiking he has bad knees and with his job hes on his feet all darn day so I want him to relax. on more special occasions or just for the fun of it I will greet him at the door in one of his shirts and smile, thats sure to put a grin on his face very quickly! One thing I do that makes him rush home on Sundays, The only day he refuses to work late, I make a big Sunday supper, a southern tradition from my mom, and I always bake something. During the week with both of us working full time (him 60+ hours a week) and me going to school at night dinner is so rushed, so on Sundays, I take all day, make everything from scratch and have the house smelling like bread, or pie, or cookies when he gets home. He loves that!
 
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