…there are a few things that offend me about these discussions.
1-) sometimes I get the impression people are saying that all pregnant women are ‘nutso’ all the time. I find that offensive because I have seen several pregnant women behave in very competent manners in the office. So obviously pregnant women can do a lot of things right. That’s not to say they don’t need more rest, but they still can function just maybe not at 100%
There are people who act as if all pregnant women are afflicted with “prego-heimers” all of the time. Yes, pregnant women find that annoying, too, just as teens do. Nobody likes to be patronized or discounted for imaginary reasons or even reasons beyond their control. Many people would rather soldier on than to take advantage of allowances that they can manage without.
Having said that, I think we know that a person suffering from something like carbon monoxide poisoning can be the last to realize it. Likewise, it pays for people who are not pregnant to remember that women who are pregnant may be the last to realize that their pregnancy is robbing them of previously-attained mental or physical capacities.
If you put it in the perspective of having a health issue that a) can be seen a block away, b) can affect you in both in ways you are aware of and ways that you are not and c) is a health issue that you don’t want to be thought to have when you absolutely *do not *have it
, I think simple empathy will suffice when it comes to what kind of allowance ought to be made, when, and how. Do what you can to understand the situation and do your best to make
appropriate allowances.
2-) As a woman, there have been times I have been short tempered or made a thoughless action and I was not going through PMS. Why can I not fall into the category ‘humans make mistakes’? Why is there an insinuation that if a woman isn’t hormonal, she needs to be perfect
As I said above, I think this needs to fall into the category of legitimate mistake-causing issues that the person* with* the issue can be the last to see.
Yes, people do fall into unfair blanket principles: women should be perfect or you can’t depend on women because their hormones fluxuate, and the like. Stereotypes tend to put a person onto dangerous ground, leading to injustices and hurt feelings. Strong patterns in human behavior ought to be recognized and yet handled with great care, yes.
IOW: There is a ditch on both sides of this road, so drive with your eyes open.
3-) If a woman is pregnant, why can’t people simple be nice to her (ie offering her a seat on the bus, carrying her boxes) for the simple reason of being nice to a pregnant women? Why is there all of this psycho-analysis about hormones?
Again: Hormones are invisible actors that even the person affected by them may not recognize. Chemicals that act on the brain are like that, whether they are hormones or a foreign psychoactive substance like alcohol, caffeine or carbon monoxide.
Oh, and when you are pregnant, it seems as if everyone has an opinion about how you’re doing. I guess it is nature’s way of getting you ready for parenthood.
By the way, it is NOT my intention to start a heated thread (even though I fear this is what it may turn into). My intention is to try and solve what I consider to be one of the main problems that has always plague all societies across all times ie the disrespect of how women were created. And I don’t think this is a problem that men are causing, I think it is a problem that society (ie even women) cause
There is a problem that cannot be helped: that is, that we aren’t mind readers and can’t diagnose even minor psychological issues with any great accuracy. The problem that can be helped is that we can anticipate and adjust to the real needs of others and resist their manipulations if we learn a bit more about human nature, pay better attention, and think twice before we act. Honest mistakes will still be made, but mercy must always cover that.
