Hi, Mm64. Attempting to figure out what information you seek is frustrating. Although cultures and religious beliefs–or lack of them–are closely intertwined, cultures are condoned by governments that are in place in particular locales. Religions influence the thinking and behavior of individuals, but government systems permit or limit the ways in which people treat others in their societies.
I can’t imagine a Catholic Church like the one you experienced, especially one with an emphasis on Bible quotes that you’ve mentioned (that part really sounds more Protestant than Catholic). However, tyrants tend to thrive unless someone has the guts to limit their influence, and, sadly, that doesn’t always happen. Since it clearly is not representative of what we posters recognize as being legitimately Catholic, and since you are “trying to find some answers right now and reconsider my beliefs,” and are concerned about the value placed upon women by the Church, I ask that you suspend these negative experiences and start evaluating the Church anew by taking action:
- Talk to one or more priests at different Catholic Churches to find one with whom you feel comfortable in discussing your concerns from time to time as you learn more about what our faith actually means–not what you’ve heard to date, since those understandings are so far off-base.
- Study the catechism. You can find one to study online or purchase a print copy.
- Attend RCIA classes to learn more about the Catholic faith.
- Seek other reading material suggestions from CAF posters and a priest.
- Use the CAF search feature to find threads that pertain to questions that concern you, keeping in mind that you get a cross-section of answers from different faiths, not just Catholic answers, and that the answers are not official, but the viewpoints of the posters, which are sometimes not in sync with what the Church actually teaches, However, even in such cases, you’ll learn from the ensuing discussions, and can ask a priest for further clarification.
- Pray. Just pray (maybe I should have listed prayer as #1), and trust in Our Lord, Jesus Christ. Ask Him to help you sort out your beliefs. Talk to Him throughout each day. The more you learn, the more you’ll realize you’ll never totally stop learning! Faith is an ongoing process, throughout your lifetime, but it’s the glue that will hold you together and the roadmap for your life’s journey!
I’m very sorry that you’ve had such a kinky experience with anyone connected with the Catholic Church. Regardless of what you may have been told, the Church does place value upon your worth as a woman. Please find it in your heart to forgive those poorly informed people who told you otherwise. I’m sorry for your anguish.
Your husband sounds as though he’s a steadying balance for you; treasure him! Many blessings to you on your quest for truth and faith.