Women and Dress

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When I was a teenager, growing up in a faithful practicing Catholic family, I overheard my mother and aunt talking about catching their kids getting sexual with their partners. I was shocked and disappointed to hear my mother say that she was relieved to find the boys engaging in that behavior because it proved they were straight, meanwhile she was telling us girls she would burn in hell if we had sex with our boyfriends.
 
Athanasiy said:
Not for nothing, for example, in the Arab, Persian, even in the Caucasian Christian culture there were and there are strict traditions regarding decent appearance of the opposite sex.
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You do realize that this all backfires, correct?

In Saudi Arabia (where I have lived and worked), Western women are considered ‘easy’ because we don’t cover our heads. Seriously. Just because we don’t wear a headscarf.

In Victorian times, they put stockings on TABLE LEGS because a leg of any ilk was considered too erotic for viewing, and to see an actual woman’s ankle bordered on scandalous.
Athanasiy said:
Divorces, infidelity, adultery, everything stretches from the effect of the gradual erotic visualizations.
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Uh, no. Sometimes people get divorced because they have decided they just don’t like their spouse any more, or that they can’t live with them anymore. Infidelity and adultery can start as an emotional affair not based on looks - there have even been studies about this, some of them very well known. From what I’ve read typically the “other” is either equal in attractiveness to the spouse and sometimes less so (by whatever scale that stuff is measured).
Athanasiy said:
But it seems to me that there are hyper-sexual personality for which the erotic parts of the female body have just disastrous effect.
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No, there are people who can’t control their impulses or their eyes, and think that women (and men, I’ll be honest - there are women who are just as bad) are here for their own amusement. It’s not my fault if some dude can’t keep it together - even if I’m wearing a short skirt or am super-modest in an ankle-length one.
 
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Precisely. I’ve heard men shamed for not being lustful far more often than for the reverse. It’s a harmful logic that, as you pointed out, leads to men being disbelieve in regards to rape. And the men I know are chaste and reasonable people, it’s horribly insulting to paint them as lustful creatures with less control just because they’re men.
 
FollowChrist34 said:
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AlbertDerGrosse:
but when the consensus among them seems to be “yeah, no, we’ve always had sex drives just as mature and functioning as yours” I’m inclined to believe them. The reason I’m inclined to believe them is because of the equal yet opposite gender expectation I’ve mentioned having experienced above.
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Well I would be careful with considering this a consensus - I would be more inclined to dismiss it as the ultimate male fantasy. I remember reading really funny essays from men about how they are more sexual than women and what a bummer this is. I will try and find one. It was years ago. Some study about how men think about sex 20 times a day, women like 3. I will look for it.
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I am a woman. I have a sex drive.

I am an asexual woman and I still have a sex drive (it’s akin to getting hungry but not being in the mood for any food in particular).
 
FollowChrist34 said:
Well I am Generation X. My childhood was my stepmom’s Germaine Greer and Erica Jong on the coffee table. And on to MTV 24/7. Promiscuity as self exploration, the 80s, 90s, Shades of Grey is the modern version. In my generation to be a prude was the worst, you were repressed, missing out. I resent that nonsense; it caused me a lot of misery. It causes our culture a lot of misery. I personally would give higher marks to the Puritans. Or the Greeks. Let’s not forget Phaedra just as one example. Passion vs. self control. This stuff is as old as the hills. Liberals did not uncover the sex drive. Or ever really even understand it very well I would argue.
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I’m 45. I am also in your generation, born in 1973. (How old did you think I was, out of curiosity?) And no, we weren’t supposed to talk about sex, discuss it, have a sex drive - despite the sex ed and the alleged liberation of women.

Girls were full of it most of the time just as much as boys were - and I don’t really recall promiscuity being oh so socially acceptable because we grew up in the shadow of AIDS when sex could literally kill you. I remember a lot of condom education in school from about the seventh grade on. I don’t recall a lot of sleeping around, but I do recall a lot of big talk and bravado. Most people truly weren’t doing 90% of what they claimed, and as an adult I now see the truth in that. And I lived in five states on two coasts in that time period…and it was the same all over. What was allegedly popular (Madonna comes to mind) wasn’t what people our age were actually doing.

And Puritan values are a disaster. Do a bit of digging on the Puritans. Their history must’ve amused the heck out of Sigmund Freud and other psychologists.
 
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Well we lived in very different worlds. (and I had no idea how old you were but I have heard this exact same line of arguing from my aunt so I associate it with baby boomers based on my background; I don’t associate it with my generation; most women my age don’t say this that I know of) In my 1970s and 80s people were partying hard and sleeping around, really doing it. West Coast. My generation. You might have been more Catholic than me; maybe that is where we are missing a connection. I was raised secular and encouraged at home and at school everywhere to talk about sex as much as I wanted; it was an integral incredibly meaningful part of my identity. When I went pro life from pro choice that caused quite a ruckus - and I was in my 30s by then.
 
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I’m a convert at age 44. Grew up with a Catholic dad, but I’m essentially a Protestant - with a past, like most people my age. My parents weren’t closeted up and my dad was probably more blunt with me than my mom was.

I lived in California during those years. I heard a lot of garbage talking on both sides and saw very little “hard partying” other than drinking. Same in Hawaii and FL and NC and VA…I’ll own we likely moved in different circles.
 
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Ah! That’s it. A Protestant. Mystery solved. 🙂 That sounds like most childhoods of Protestants I know - practicing I mean.
 
FollowChrist34 said:
Ah! That’s it. A Protestant. Mystery solved. 🙂 That sounds like most childhoods of Protestants I know - practicing I mean.
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We weren’t, though. Not by far.

LOL my dad was a Catholic and a career Navy chief. I was nothing until I was 16 and joined the Methodist church because where my dad retired everyone was something and I was the weird kid with the Catholic dad and the German last name.

You don’t have me as pegged as you believe.
 
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My dad was an ex-Catholic socialist who grew pot in our spare room, smoked it constantly. You may not be pegging me quite right either.
 
I actually hadn’t typed you as anything other than someone who thought I was much younger than I actually am (no idea how from that photo you thought I’m a baby boomer, LOL).

When you made the Protestant comment I realized you thought you figured me out - but you were way off.
 
I wasn’t sure the photo was you. It could have been some admired celebrity of yours for all I know. And I wasn’t trying to type or peg you so much as make conversation with the comment about Protestants, though I will stand by my point about them and sex.
 
You’re stereotyping.

That’s like saying Catholics are sexually repressed. Not true, either.
 
No, that is about the last thing I would say about Catholics, between you and me.
 
Pup7 said:
There’s no difference at all - and even thinking it’s down to physical strength is a problem. If the force comes at you out of the blue, I can promise you a 98 pound woman can easily put a 200 pound man on his back before he knew what hit him. You actually don’t need special training for that, either. The issue is we’re taught “girls don’t do that”.
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Having been trained in several martial arts, I wholeheartedly agree with this. I have thrown people 50+ pounds heavier over my shoulder with ease during practice sessions. What I have also taken away from my training, it to never let anyone get into grappling range. From there, if they are skilled, they can easily slam your head into the concrete in the blink of an eye. Keep all opponents at arms length, and study body language closely.
 
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Pup7 said:
In Saudi Arabia (where I have lived and worked), Western women are considered ‘easy’ because we don’t cover our heads. Seriously. Just because we don’t wear a headscarf.
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The other one I’ve been told is western women and especially american women are very friendly with both men and women. As an american, smiling and chatting with a male coworker is nothing - I’m being sociable, no more.

Many other cultures that would be considered a very forward sexual advance.
 
Men , as the head of the household and the ultimate leaders in the Church , have a duty and responsibility to be exactingly spot on in their modesty and virtues. To be that shining example.

One cannot judge and comment on others until he or she is what he or she claims of others.
 
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