Women, did/would you change your name upon marriage?

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I did not because I was totally overwhelmed by stressful wedding preparations and didn’t want to go through all of the hassle of also changing all my documentation, plus I wanted to use my maiden name to publish my writing. And I don’t like my husband’s last name. I go by his name socially, but still have mine legally. Our children will all have his last name. In several countries that I know of, women changing their surnames is not the norm.
 
That’s a good question. I’d have to say I don’t know. Tradition makes me want to say yes, but part of me feels I’d be losing something of my heritage if I took an English surname. Of course, it’s all hypothetical at the moment 🙂
 
I think taking one’s husband’s name, in my culture, is the easiest thing to do. After all, what difference does it make? My home is heaven, not one of the several countries my ancestors came from. My birth name was no more euphonious than my husband’s, although his, when mispronounced doesn’t sound so funny as my family name does. I rather pity my sils who have to bear it. 😛

And if children were to come along, what name would we have given them? My family’s name or his? It just saves a lot of hassle to adopt his name. Keeping one’s birth name for professional reasons is fine, of course. Especially if one has gained recognition/a reputation with it that one wants to keep. I’ve been tempted to publish under my and my husband’s middle names because they sound more exotic than my first name combined with my married name. Tempted, but so far I haven’t done it. 😊
 
Nope. At the time, I really didn’t want to and I had a handful of reasons, both practical and sentimental, for it. Hubby was hurt when he found out I didn’t want to take his name a few weeks before he proposed, but he got over it quickly after the shock wore off and he heard my reasons. He proposed, we got married planning to both hyphenate, and laziness kicked in and we’ve only ever used our own names. Now, neither of us could care less.🤷 The discussion has come up again since we’ll be trying for kids soon. He wants to give them both names, and I want them to just have his. I may end up changing mine, but right now we aren’t planning on it.
 
I did. I think it’s easier for everyone in a family to have the same name - you know who goes together. But it is annoying to change it. Our electric bill still gets sent to my maiden name, and I’ve given up on them figuring it out. 🤷 Everything else was pretty quick. I just made a bunch of copies of the marriage license and mailed as needed.

I don’t think it’s inherently sexist that traditionally names are passed through the father’s side. For a time, I didn’t want to change mine, but then it occurred to me that even if I didn’t take my husband’s name I’d have my father’s.

Just my :twocents:
 
I did on the basis that when we had children I wanted us all to have the same name. There is a good chance we will be childless and I am debating changing it back.
 
For me, it would depend on my professional status. I’ll most likely keep my maiden name, but go by my married name socially.
 
I did, but I was very young at the time. It’s made life less complicated with children, but it would be very different for a mid-career woman.
 
I did in my first marriage because it was in the “olden days” when doing anything else was pretty rare and looked at with suspicion. When we got divorced I had the option to go back to my maiden name but didn’t. I wanted to have the same name as my kids, and I liked my married name better.

Then I did again in my second marriage because I wanted to have the same last name as my husband, even though I have to spell it all the time 🤷 Now that my husband has passed away, I am literally the only person with this last name in the whole province!

I don’t know if I’ll ever marry again but I have wondered if I did, would I change my name yet again. I wouldn’t want to give future genealogists a headache!
 
I changed my name – and it was a huge sacrifice because I absolutely LOVED my full name. But I also wanted us to be one family with the same name, and I loved his family and had known them since my adolescence.

When after just four years of marriage he told me wanted divorce, I was planning on changing my name back. But by then we had a beautiful son and I wanted to make sure we had the same last name, so I’ve kept my ex-husband’s name legally.

At work, however, the students, staff, and families call me by my maiden name.
 
I took my maiden name as my legal middle name and my husband’s name as my last name. The family having all one last name was my rationale.
 
Yes, because I had no professional name established when I married. It has been easier to have one family name, and my husband did have a professional reputation based on his original surname.

I do know couples who chose to use the wife’s name (for a variety of reasons) and even one couple who chose a totally new last name when they married because both the husband and the wife wanted to take advantage of the free opportunity change their names. (You don’t have to petition a court to change your name when you marry, as a single person who wants a new legal name has to do.

I also know women who have found it guards their privacy to use their original surname professionally but to use the same name as their husband socially. Which one is the legal name is up to them.

There are pros and cons, whichever way you go. Decide with your husband, when the time comes.
 
Yes. I moved my maiden name to a middle name. My original middle name is a family name so I kept that as well. So it’s 4 names long. It works pretty well. I wasn’t in a position where I needed to keep my maiden name and I think it’s easier for us with kids.
 
Xantippe said:
I did, but I was very young at the time. It’s made life less complicated with children, but it would be very different for a mid-career woman.
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I got married at 38. As a director-level professional I did not find any difficulty at all when I changed my name. I retained my maiden name as my middle name.
 
Tablefor9 said:
I took my maiden name as my legal middle name and my husband’s name as my last name. The family having all one last name was my rationale.
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I would consider that, honestly, but I like my middle name more than my first name and don’t want to have two middle names.
 
I took my husband’s name. That’s just what people did back when I got married. My only regret was not giving my firstborn son my middle name as his middle name. All girls in my family, so that’s the end of that name. 😊

It doesn’t bother me if people want to keep their maiden name. I understand it. I just hope people are as willing to understand when others want to change their’s to their husband’s.
 
I took my husband’s name as it’s the tradition and I see no good reason not to. I’m not particularly stuck on my maiden name and I suspect it makes thing easier when communicating with other about our children. My mother actually kept my father’s name as part of her last name, even after she was remarried for the same reason.
 
Yes, I took my husband’s last name. He was a little perplexed since, in his culture, women keep their names. I wanted the whole family to have the same last name and after just going through the wedding invitation addressing exercise, I realized how much simpler it is to be “Mrs. and Mr. Smith” I worked under my maiden name for about a year and switched when it was time to order new business cards. 😉
 
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