Women, how do you handle feeling bad about your body?

[DarkLight]

Sorry if this is in the wrong place, didn’t seem to be a good place to post it.

How do you handle feeling bad about or hating your body? In my case my problem is I look perpetually 16, and I feel like I don’t get taken seriously because people think I’m a child. Even dressed up people think I’m more “high school debate team” than anything else. It’s got me really worried about doing job interviews because how can I look qualified and competent when I look like a little kid?

 

[1ke]

When I first started teaching high school, the teachers could go to the front of the lunch line because we had to eat and then do hall duty. The lunch ladies made me go to the back because they thought I was a student. When student teaching I got stopped for being out of class-- at a junior high.

It’s not uncommon to look young when you are young. Don’t sweat it.

As for hating your body, continue to work with a professional on that as you have some other things going on that probably have some impact on your body image. I would say in addition to that, stay away from secular media, particularly magazines and advertising, as much as possible.

To an extent, you always have insecurities about your body, but I think many women just learn to be comfortable in their own skin with age and wisdom. Wisdom to see what the Catechism calls the “cult of the body” for what it is.

 

[Anglewannabe]

Seems to me their are 2 issues

1-) how to like your looks. That is easy, eat healthy and get regular exercise. Not to loose weight (although that is a side benefit) but too feel healthy which always improves moral and then pray to God for acceptance and don’t read too many beauty magazines

2-) how to get a job. Develop your personality and interview skills. I can not count how many times I too one look at a person and had a negative impression. Five seconds later when they started to talk, I forgot about their looks because they were genuinely an interesting person

Angie

 

[DarkLight]

I’ve been in and out of enough professionals in my life that I have to say I’m not inclined to go back. If over a dozen only made me feel worse (to the point of wanting to kill myself after dealing with several) what good is a dozen plus one going to do?

 

[Crown_of_Stars]

Sorry if this is in the wrong place, didn’t seem to be a good place to post it.

How do you handle feeling bad about or hating your body? In my case my problem is I look perpetually 16, and I feel like I don’t get taken seriously because people think I’m a child. Even dressed up people think I’m more “high school debate team” than anything else. It’s got me really worried about doing job interviews because how can I look qualified and competent when I look like a little kid?

How can you look like a little kid? Your face obviously must be womanly. There are plenty of grown women who are almost as small as a child in size (not height). I’m very small too, as in slender and tiny-figured, and I love to be. I wouldn’t feel bad about this at all! You will be taken seriously. During your interviews, they will obviously be able to tell you’re a grown person and will judge you on what you say and how you conduct yourself, not your smallness. Just dress and act as mature as you can, which I’m sure you already do. And as you get older, obviously, your face will change. For me, I can tell someone’s approximate age by their face, not their figure.

 

[DarkLight]

How can you look like a little kid? Your face obviously must be womanly. There are plenty of grown women who are almost as small as a child in size (not height). I’m very small too, as in slender and tiny-figured, and I love to be. I wouldn’t feel bad about this at all! You will be taken seriously. During your interviews, they will obviously be able to tell you’re a grown person and will judge you on what you say and how you conduct yourself, not your smallness. Just dress and act as mature as you can, which I’m sure you already do. And as you get older, obviously, your face will change. For me, I can tell someone’s approximate age by their face, not their figure.

It is my face, that’s the thing. I’m pretty slim overall, but I have a rather fat face that makes me look very young.

 

[Xantippe]

Sorry if this is in the wrong place, didn’t seem to be a good place to post it.

How do you handle feeling bad about or hating your body? In my case my problem is I look perpetually 16, and I feel like I don’t get taken seriously because people think I’m a child. Even dressed up people think I’m more “high school debate team” than anything else. It’s got me really worried about doing job interviews because how can I look qualified and competent when I look like a little kid?

I think I would cruise the petite section and also keep an eye out for how petite professional women dress and carry themselves–even if you aren’t small yourself, there will be some tricks available to make yourself look more solid and dignified.

I have a number of small women in my family and now that I think about it, they are both dressy women–but chic, rather than over-dressed.

You may want some “ugly” glasses, too. (You know, the kind that the heroine in movies pulls off, revealing herself to to be exquisitely lovely–because the hero was such a bonehead that he couldn’t see she was pretty in glasses.)

Also, updo? Accessories?

I may be barking up the wrong tree, but I’m thinking in terms of taking the stereotypical “makeover” of nerd girl scene from movies and just running it backward.

This is something that you’ll be able to manage better and better as your financial situation improves and you can walk into some place like Nordstroms and have them put you together.

 

[DarkLight]

Work right now isn’t helping. It’s retail and the uniform is bad on me. There’s only so much grown up you can do with a polo shirt and cheap black pants. Plus we have a work-issued vest and the small size is obviously hanging off my body.

For reference, I recently had my hair cut really short, so obviously updos are out.

 

[Xantippe]

Work right now isn’t helping. It’s retail and the uniform is bad on me. There’s only so much grown up you can do with a polo shirt and cheap black pants. Plus we have a work-issued vest and the small size is obviously hanging off my body.

For reference, I recently had my hair cut really short, so obviously updos are out.

That doesn’t give you a lot to work with.

Ugly glasses and grown up makeup?

Also, watch your voice–if you’re squeaky, bring it down.

 

[pensmama87]

Work right now isn’t helping. It’s retail and the uniform is bad on me. There’s only so much grown up you can do with a polo shirt and cheap black pants. Plus we have a work-issued vest and the small size is obviously hanging off my body.

For reference, I recently had my hair cut really short, so obviously updos are out.

The short hair might help with looking very young. I seem to be right at the split where half of my women friends have cut their hair very short, and the other half still wear it long. A few years ago we all had it long. I know very few women over 35 or so with long hair. I’m not sure why it shakes out that way, but it does.

 

[DarkLight]

The short hair might help with looking very young. I seem to be right at the split where half of my women friends have cut their hair very short, and the other half still wear it long. A few years ago we all had it long. I know very few women over 35 or so with long hair. I’m not sure why it shakes out that way, but it does.

Trust me, the long hair didn’t help on me. The trouble with my hair is you can’t really do anything with it. I have too many chemical sensitivities and not enough cash to perm it. And it doesn’t curl, it doesn’t style, it doesn’t do anything long. You can let it hang there, or you can braid it - that’s about it. I’ve even had it done professionally, it’s back to its normal state within an hour. It just hangs straight down in what we’ve referred to as the “home school girl cut” pretty much no matter what.

Black plastic glasses too, because with cheap insurance you can get black, silver, or gold. I have a pretty expensive prescription (astigmatism) so glasses aren’t something to be bought out of pocket easily.

 

[Lily_Bernans]

Sorry if this is in the wrong place, didn’t seem to be a good place to post it.

How do you handle feeling bad about or hating your body? In my case my problem is I look perpetually 16, and I feel like I don’t get taken seriously because people think I’m a child. Even dressed up people think I’m more “high school debate team” than anything else. It’s got me really worried about doing job interviews because how can I look qualified and competent when I look like a little kid?

I am 32, but I am only 4’11" and weigh between 90-95 lbs. Almost all of my students (upper level college students) are a LOT bigger than I am. /Right now, my hair is below my waist, but I’m thinking of getting it cut just below my shoulders lest people think I’m cultivating a “Alice in Wonderland” look. Honestly, I think I look like a grown woman, though. I was going to get LASIK, but I love my glasses-for-distance I wear to drive and to the movies. Tiny gold-rimmed ones. I used to want to be tall, but I don’t mind being so short and tiny now. I do have to be careful what I eat, though since at 4’11" and small-boned I have no “wiggle room.”

 

[angell1]

When I first started teaching high school, the teachers could go to the front of the lunch line because we had to eat and then do hall duty. The lunch ladies made me go to the back because they thought I was a student. When student teaching I got stopped for being out of class-- at a junior high.

It’s not uncommon to look young when you are young. Don’t sweat it.

As for hating your body, continue to work with a professional on that as you have some other things going on that probably have some impact on your body image. I would say in addition to that, stay away from secular media, particularly magazines and advertising, as much as possible.

To an extent, you always have insecurities about your body, but I think many women just learn to be comfortable in their own skin with age and wisdom. Wisdom to see what the Catechism calls the “cult of the body” for what it is.

and here I was, thinking I would never meet another soul who experiences stuff like that

a couple years ago, I got asked if I was over 12 by the airport check-in lady, when I was 23.

and I regularly get 16-18 all the time

I also agree with the part about avoiding secular sources on this kind of stuff. there are some pretty messed up ideas when it comes to that

 

[GreyWings]

I don’t feel bad about my body, even though I have an unintentional eating disorder due to depression. I have had people tell me, “I’m so jealous, you’re so skinny!” And I just look at them thinking… uh, this isn’t healthy weight loss.

My advice is to look at yourself in the mirror and see the beauty God gave you. The body you have, is precious, and yours. Your body is a gift. You were created in the likeness of Him. Look at your eyes, your hair, and appreciate its color and that you have them.

The point is, while you may not see it, you are beautiful and your body, no matter how it looks, is a gift.

God Bless
GW

 

[Anglewannabe]

The short hair might help with looking very young. I seem to be right at the split where half of my women friends have cut their hair very short, and the other half still wear it long. A few years ago we all had it long.** I know very few women over 35 or so with long hair. I’m not sure why it shakes out that way, but it does**.

I think it is genetics where hair thins as we age and it no longer looks the same when it is long.

I spent my whole life when I was 24 and younger wishing I could have nice long hair down to my waist. It NEVET made it past my shoulders. A genetic thing. It use to frustrate me to no end when people would tell me to grow my hair and when I would respond ‘it just doesn’t’ they would label me as weird.

Now that I am 45, the longest I could get it if I tried for 2 years is 2 inches past my neck

The trend I noticed is woman cut their hair within 2 months of being married. Perhaps they only want it long for the big day so they can do something with it and then just want it gone. Who knows

Well…after writing this post, I have just depressed myself over how society equates a woman’s value with long hair:sad_yes:

 

[1ke]

I really wouldn’t worry about trying to change hair, wear fake glasses, or other innovations to look older. Just be yourself. Your resume will speak to your credentials.

 

[Xantippe]

I really wouldn’t worry about trying to change hair, wear fake glasses, or other innovations to look older. Just be yourself. Your resume will speak to your credentials.

Watch the voice, though.

I have a female friend who is a mathematician and absolutely ADORABLE and she finds that having a squeaky little girl voice is an impediment (for instance during phone interviews).

 

[DarkLight]

It’s not just interviews. It affects meeting people too, for me. Like, when I’m out I get a bunch of 18 and 19 year old boys hitting on me. But it seems harder to meet people my own age - I feel like I’m not taken as seriously because people assume I’m still a little girl.

 

[Irishmom2]

It is my face, that’s the thing. I’m pretty slim overall, but I have a rather fat face that makes me look very young.

Maybe you can get some help with makeup that will accentuate your features in such a way that you will look older. I don’t know your style of dress either, but maybe you can tweak that a bit too. Look on Pinterest or other websites to find outfits to “bump up” your age.

My daughter is almost 26, and she gets the same reaction sometimes. Young guys hitting on her too. Most times she just finds it amusing, unless they are just plain obnoxious, then, It wouldn’t matter if they were her age.

I don’t know how old you are, but if you are confident in your style of fashion, you will appear older as well. Do not hate your body or your young looks. God created you perfectly.

 

[DarkLight]

Honestly at this point I’m not sure how much I have a “looking young” problem and how much I have a “self-esteem” problem when it comes to my body. I’m leaning towards more of the latter - it’s just hard to look at yourself in the mirror and not see all the things you don’t like about your body.