Women, Men, and Shirts

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Exactly where - outside of the beach and cutting the lawn - are men “going around topless?” And if it’s a double standard you want, the amount of material in the average male swimsuit today (I.e. board shorts) would make 3 bikinis. But let a European visitor wear a speedo, and the police are called for indecent exposure.
 
Does the intention to cause lust matter? Say a woman goes out naked or a man for that matter since they just want to be comfortable in the heat, that is most certainly a sin regardless if they want to cause lust. We all have to make sacrifices, and one of these sacrifices is comfort in charity for our neighbor’s salvation. You don’t want to be culpable for someone’s damnation because you wanted to be “comfortable”. Besides, the clothing styles I listed are not meant for comfort as the women dress the same in Winter at my school and complain about the cold.

I live in the hot weather and my parish is still enforcing their dress code on men and women. They say “as the weather gets hotter and the desire to dress comfortably increases, we request that you have charity for your neighbor and continue to follow the dress code and dress modestly”.
I say intention does matter— and you’ve noted it yourself. Folks who dress inappropriately for the weather or situation. Note, there are tribes in hot climates who do wear very little-- its the norm and not an invitation to anything and well understood by the populace. Perhaps the women at your school do intend to emphasize their sexuality, that’s what they feel is important about themselves and want folks to notice. From a Catholic perspective, not appropriate. From a secular perspective- their right to do so, just don’t want to hear them whine when folks react to their visual cues. Because it will be observed, and those with a proclivity towards casual sex may act on the cues and proposition them, ask them out. All within the norms of expected human behavior. Of course, nothing a woman (or man) for that matter wears grant any sort of permission for any activity of a physical nature. But you can’t, IMHO, dress to emphasize something and then complain when folks notice and act on that. Similar to my having recently grown a beard and folks, many complete strangers, commenting on it.

I don’t hold the way women dress as any kind of release from my own accountability and responsibility for my thoughts, words and deeds. Many women aren’t Catholic, the culture is what it is in this country, I won’t assume any intention on their part. However, again adult women certainly are rational beings capable of being responsible for their actions, including awareness of pushing cultural norms to be noticed. I can’t really demand other folks make sacrifices in their comfort or dress to placate my perceptions of modesty.

My work dress code is uncomfortable, but I adhere to it-- corporate culture if you will. Intended to eliminate distractions in the work environment. As you point out, a place of worship also has a dress code to show respect for our creator. Just as we use gold on many of the instruments used on the altar which will come in contact with the Body of our Lord to show that respect.
 
I think too that it matters that cultures where almost everyone goes around bare-chested are made up of darker skinned people who live close to the equator. It’s easy to point fingers at (historically) white/European/Western cultures and say, “Oh, you guys are so repressed,” but is it any surprise that cultural norms about clothing developed the way they did when the people who lived as part of those cultures had to deal with things like winter and bad sunburn? 😛

I also note that whatever is done about tops, almost all cultures cover the genitals, which does serve a practical purpose but also IMO points toward a general human understanding of the importance of modesty.

And over time even in Western cultures showing the breasts has been a bigger “deal” than others. Actually until recently, almost nobody batted an eye over a visible breast - if it was being used to feed an infant.
I’m not usually a fan of quoting myself, but since all the “puritan” and “uptight” comments are coming out…

Thinking that in most places it would be very appropriate for both men and women to wear tops is not necessarily evidence of being puritanical and uptight. There are very practical reasons to do so, and in cultures where it is common to wear a top, yes, it’s distracting when a person of either sex does not (and I would say it’s even distracting on the beach or the pool, and in the case of me and my kids, we could blind somebody. :cool:)
 
Are women aroused with lust when they see a man topless, at the beach or somewhere else?
They can be. Although I don’t think it matters. Women shouldn’t have to dress like nuns because some men can’t control themselves.
 
They can be. Although I don’t think it matters. Women shouldn’t have to dress like nuns because some men can’t control themselves.
I don’t think anyone is presenting those as the only two options.

“Wearing a top as cultural norm” is in no way equivalent to wearing a nun’s habit (though not all of those are the same, anyway).

I would prefer everyone wear a top. They protect against the elements (most notably the sun), and we have fabrics that are light and breathable for hot weather. I’m not saying we need to cover wrists and ankles. :rolleyes:

I have no problem with the traditional garb of cultures of people close to the equator. At the same time, though, that’s not my culture or climate.

(Frankly, sometimes, clothing can help alleviate some of the annoyances of hot weather, because you don’t have the sweaty skin on sweaty skin problem. 😊)
 
I say intention does matter— and you’ve noted it yourself. Folks who dress inappropriately for the weather or situation. Note, there are tribes in hot climates who do wear very little-- its the norm and not an invitation to anything and well understood by the populace. Perhaps the women at your school do intend to emphasize their sexuality, that’s what they feel is important about themselves and want folks to notice. From a Catholic perspective, not appropriate. From a secular perspective- their right to do so, just don’t want to hear them whine when folks react to their visual cues. Because it will be observed, and those with a proclivity towards casual sex may act on the cues and proposition them, ask them out. All within the norms of expected human behavior. Of course, nothing a woman (or man) for that matter wears grant any sort of permission for any activity of a physical nature. But you can’t, IMHO, dress to emphasize something and then complain when folks notice and act on that. Similar to my having recently grown a beard and folks, many complete strangers, commenting on it.

I don’t hold the way women dress as any kind of release from my own accountability and responsibility for my thoughts, words and deeds. Many women aren’t Catholic, the culture is what it is in this country, I won’t assume any intention on their part. However, again adult women certainly are rational beings capable of being responsible for their actions, including awareness of pushing cultural norms to be noticed. I can’t really demand other folks make sacrifices in their comfort or dress to placate my perceptions of modesty.

My work dress code is uncomfortable, but I adhere to it-- corporate culture if you will. Intended to eliminate distractions in the work environment. As you point out, a place of worship also has a dress code to show respect for our creator. Just as we use gold on many of the instruments used on the altar which will come in contact with the Body of our Lord to show that respect.
But modesty is demanded by the Church, whether it is uncomfortable to be modest or not. I know that people do dress more revealing for the sake of comfort in the heat and don’t intend to make people sin over them, my apologies if it seemed I was trying to discount that. What I was trying to say is that, whether it is hot or not, people still need to realize that their body is tempting to others whether they are trying to be or just being comfortable. And these laws still apply to the secular people as these are not just Church disciplines but a law that all must follow, like not committing adultery.

The church dress code that I explained is actually intended to maintain the minimum of modesty that is expected of Catholics both inside and outside of the church. This can be seen since they allow sandals, shorts, and t-shirts, things that are certainly not to be worn to Mass but are nevertheless considered to not break the rule of modesty.

As I said, these cultures that you point out are not our culture. To them, near-nudity may not be considered immodest or tempting, but for us it is.
 
But modesty is demanded by the Church, whether it is uncomfortable to be modest or not. I know that people do dress more revealing for the sake of comfort in the heat and don’t intend to make people sin over them, my apologies if it seemed I was trying to discount that. What I was trying to say is that, whether it is hot or not, people still need to realize that their body is tempting to others whether they are trying to be or just being comfortable. And these laws still apply to the secular people as these are not just Church disciplines but a law that all must follow, like not committing adultery.

The church dress code that I explained is actually intended to maintain the minimum of modesty that is expected of Catholics both inside and outside of the church. This can be seen since they allow sandals, shorts, and t-shirts, things that are certainly not to be worn to Mass but are nevertheless considered to not break the rule of modesty.

As I said, these cultures that you point out are not our culture. To them, near-nudity may not be considered immodest or tempting, but for us it is.
No apologies necessary. I think we are more in agreement than disagreement. But I do believe this is cultural, I would agree that you are correct in that culture in the US would currently tend to interpret outright nudity or semi-nudity as sexual and a temptation.

But, as I mentioned in France, it was really not. Just seen as what people normally do on the beach and accepted/interpreted as non-sexual. The family felt awkward initially because they realized I was uncomfortable with it while they had not given it a second thought. It was just the way things were, women on the beach were mostly topless.

I think I’m also trying to say that while we as Catholics have a viewpoint, again where we agree that Catholics should probably consider our choices in clothing, we live in a broader society. We have to deal with the norms/culture of dress around us without being judgmental as to intent. Folks dressing to look like most folks in a society in specific settings usually aren’t trying to do anything other than fit in, adhere to cultural norms, not instigate any particular feeling about them.
 
No apologies necessary. I think we are more in agreement than disagreement. But I do believe this is cultural, I would agree that you are correct in that culture in the US would currently tend to interpret outright nudity or semi-nudity as sexual and a temptation.

But, as I mentioned in France, it was really not. Just seen as what people normally do on the beach and accepted/interpreted as non-sexual. The family felt awkward initially because they realized I was uncomfortable with it while they had not given it a second thought. It was just the way things were, women on the beach were mostly topless.

I think I’m also trying to say that while we as Catholics have a viewpoint, again where we agree that Catholics should probably consider our choices in clothing, we live in a broader society. We have to deal with the norms/culture of dress around us without being judgmental as to intent. Folks dressing to look like most folks in a society in specific settings usually aren’t trying to do anything other than fit in, adhere to cultural norms, not instigate any particular feeling about them.
Yes, the rules of modesty are sort of tricky if you look at the whole world. In one place, exposing your ankles may be super tempting while in another being topless is like nothing. I agree that in these cases, there are different codes of modesty that Catholics must obey.

As for people in our culture today, I try to not judge as best I can and assume that they really are just trying to fit in and do as the rest do with no intention of trying to tempt people. However, I see these adherences to the culture cause a lot of lust among men and women and so, while they don’t intend to make people lust, it is nevertheless wrong to dress as they do because it makes others fall into sin.
 
Yes, the rules of modesty are sort of tricky if you look at the whole world. In one place, exposing your ankles may be super tempting while in another being topless is like nothing. I agree that in these cases, there are different codes of modesty that Catholics must obey.

As for people in our culture today, I try to not judge as best I can and assume that they really are just trying to fit in and do as the rest do with no intention of trying to tempt people. However, I see these adherences to the culture cause a lot of lust among men and women and so, while they don’t intend to make people lust, it is nevertheless wrong to dress as they do because it makes others fall into sin.
Well, so many threads on CAF about modesty in dress, probably better to refer to those than duplicate them here, we’ve kind of wandered from the topic of women without shirts.

It is certainly a possibility in the future. Many entertainers pushing that kind of look, it may eventually become more mainstream. As it becomes more mainstream it loses it’s edge/impact, as folks become used to it the sexuality component diminishes. (In fact I think some celebrity or celebrity’s daughter walked around NY topless recently) I’ve never been one to go shirtless anywhere (other than running because I chafe), but when it’s really hot out etc. I can understand why some men do-- and certainly understandable for anyone to want to do that in hot muggy weather without it being considered a sexual act. In fact I’m pretty weird in that I’m about the only person I know who doesn’t wear shorts around here in the summer.
 
Well, so many threads on CAF about modesty in dress, probably better to refer to those than duplicate them here, we’ve kind of wandered from the topic of women without shirts.

It is certainly a possibility in the future. Many entertainers pushing that kind of look, it may eventually become more mainstream. As it becomes more mainstream it loses it’s edge/impact, as folks become used to it the sexuality component diminishes. (In fact I think some celebrity or celebrity’s daughter walked around NY topless recently) I’ve never been one to go shirtless anywhere (other than running because I chafe), but when it’s really hot out etc. I can understand why some men do-- and certainly understandable for anyone to want to do that in hot muggy weather without it being considered a sexual act. In fact I’m pretty weird in that I’m about the only person I know who doesn’t wear shorts around here in the summer.
I don’t wear shorts either. I just prefer to wear pants, never been a fan of shorts. 😃

Yes, I suppose time will tell. I can only hope that more modest dress becomes the fashion, but if these current styles continue the code of modesty will eventually change.
 
I don’t wear shorts either. I just prefer to wear pants, never been a fan of shorts. 😃

Yes, I suppose time will tell. I can only hope that more modest dress becomes the fashion, but if these current styles continue the code of modesty will eventually change.
I think this is one area where moving the goalposts is actually a legitimate thing to do. If what we mean by ‘modesty’ or indeed what associations breasts (etc) have, change - if attitudes throughout society shift - then the point becomes moot. While I am a supporter of toplessness as a rule, (when it’s appropriate, obviously), what is often ignored is that while we would very much like social attitudes towards breasts to change, they haven’t, and these things don’t change over night. One way or another, as you say, time will tell.

God bless,
 
Actually I think it’s precisely the same. In Papua New Guinea or at least with the particular people John Paul was with at that time, breasts weren’t (aren’t) sexual objects. They’re just…breasts. Things mothers use to feed babies with. Why should it be impossible to conceive of a society closer to home which takes a similarly enlightened attitude?
The point of the topless movement is to call attention to the unflattering and unwanted (which women can be just as guilty of encouraging, don’t get me wrong) sexualisation of their bodies - primarily by men. I can’t say I walk around my city topless (the Midlands of England isn’t warm or dry enough for a start!) but if I’m not remotely bothered by breasts - as a gay woman no less - I think other people can probably get over it. I certainly wouldn’t seek out opportunities but it wouldn’t bother me if I encountered one, never mind took part.

This moves into a broader point in that I don’t really see how someone can be offended by nonsexual nudity. Children aren’t remotely bothered by toplessness or nakedness. I’m sure we as adults can find it in us. Our view of things like this is entirely culturally conditioned. (I went to a nudist camp once: long story but…frankly…most people young and old alike would have benefited in sexiness terms from any kind of clothing at all. Even a hospital gown).

The sexualisation of particular body parts is entirely cultural. You can find plenty of imagery (representing to a degree the court practice) of say Queen Anne of England/Great Britain, or many of the consorts of the contemporaneous French kings, with happily exposed breasts. (Heaven forefend if one shows an ankle, though). I’ve been to saunas in Sweden (mixed, to boot). Breasts or anything else aren’t really very sexual at all. If anything it’s both rather egalitarian (if you take off your Christian Louboutins and Victoria’s Secret underwear, it turns out everyone is exactly the same underneath) and rather comical (I’m sure the genitalia arrangements of both men and women are some kind of huge practical joke).

The idea of this movement is to try and move society away from fetishising body parts. I really think people can be grown up enough to well…grow up. I could write a long spiel about this but I’m sure I’d bore plenty of people. Point is, how about we stop being so puritan about it? It’s only the modern west that makes such an obsession with sex. If you normalise something, its interest diminishes. We break away from sexualisation by making “sexual” things no longer sexy. They’re just boobs.

Kendra once again the beacon of sense 👍 Although I look at it the opposite way - if men can be uncovered, why can’t women ? (practicalities aside of course; the mere idea of topless tennis sounds painful…)
Disagree.

Although the point you stated (I bolded) may be a factor (small one IMO) I don’t think the notion of breasts being “sexual objects” was the main contributor or precisely the same as topless movement.

It was a coming together of God’s church with a people, a people that proudly displayed thier customs through dress, dance etc and a mutual respect for each other.

I honestly don’t think they were topless to protest or anything of that ilk.
 
I just want to add that is a bug bear of mine where women are expected to cover up and there is a blind eye turned to men when they wear “revealing” clothing.

I was having this discussion the other day with a friend and he was talking about how women need to dress more modestly.

I then remarked “Men have the same responsibility” and he looked at me like I had 2 heads…

This guy in particular works out and takes pride in his apperance, wears tight shirts etc…I asked what by your dress sense and showing off your muscles etc you caused a woman to look at you in a way that tempted her? how is that different?

Hope the penny dropped because he went silent after that…
 
The idea that women would simply dismiss shirtless men as weird isn’t true.
My wife has forbidden me from appearing shirtless anywhere except for the pool or the beach. There is no way I will ever, ever be allowed to mow the lawn while shirtless. Several of the men in our neighborhood do it, and as she said, “The last thing I want to see when I drive into my neighborhood is THAT.”

And let me add that I’m in remarkably good muscular shape for a married father of three. If I can’t go shirtless, not that many real life men should. (I could show you a picture but that would lead to scandal for many of you. 😃 )
You are right, I never thought about men wearing very short shorts, compared to women wearing them, Id bet no one would say anything if a man were to walk around in short shorts,
Uh—no. Guys in very short shorts would immediately be targeted as “gay.” I don’t even think gay guys would put up with a guy wearing short shorts. And women are pretty much grossed out by them. I have some old gym shorts that are in no way “short short” and whenever I put them on my daughter says, “Dad? Are you seriously going to wear those?”
Oh dear me, When I think of men walking around shirtless I either think of a beer belly or a strutting peacock.
see above. My wife and older daughter will only approve if the guy is a fitness model, and then for about the first three seconds. After that…forget it. If he’s not Chris Hemsworth they’d rather not have seen him shirtless in the first place.
But let a European visitor wear a speedo, and the police are called for indecent exposure.
Again, my wife, daughters, their friends are horrified at the sight of men in speedos. The girls all swimmers, and even then they would prefer it if the guys on the teams wore knee length lycra trunks instead of speedos.
 
wears tight shirts etc…I asked what by your dress sense and showing off your muscles
My excuse is: my wife buys them for me. :o I’ll only wear them to the gym. She feels I ought to be comfortable wearing them other places.
 
As for topless women, no, we don’t need that.

Aside from that–granted, I can’t speak from personal experience–women’s breasts can hurt if they’re not well supported. A good bra can cost $70+, and they’ll tell you they’re worth every penny.
 
What is interesting is that the liberal media institutions which advocate freedom of expression and topless women, are…yes, blurring out their photos of topless women in their reports.

This of course is because they know it is inappropriate to show this. They know that their advertisers think so, as do their readers. Case closed.😛
 
What is interesting is that the liberal media institutions which advocate freedom of expression and topless women, are…yes, blurring out their photos of topless women in their reports.

This of course is because they know it is inappropriate to show this. They know that their advertisers think so, as do their readers. Case closed.😛
No it’s because they know a bunch of pearl-clutchers will write in and they simply can’t be bothered with it. “Think of the children!!!”

…more or less all of whom of course have seen breasts since the day they were born, but that’s never recalled in this kind of hand-wringing; it’s not children who innately start to see breasts as sexual - it is forced upon them by adults who make social and cultural rules.
 
snip

…It’s not children who innately start to see breasts as sexual - it is forced upon them by adults who make social and cultural rules.
You bring up an interesting point. Adults in every generation make up social and cultural rules. So what’s wrong with a society saying that certain body parts should be kept private? Why must this particular rule be chucked? 🤷

Personally, I’d like to see men put their shirts back on. But that’s mostly due to concerns about skin cancer, which is currently threatening a dear friend of the family. 😦

God bless y’all.

Gertie
 
You bring up an interesting point. Adults in every generation make up social and cultural rules. So what’s wrong with a society saying that certain body parts should be kept private? Why must this particular rule be chucked? 🤷

Personally, I’d like to see men put their shirts back on. But that’s mostly due to concerns about skin cancer, which is currently threatening a dear friend of the family. 😦

God bless y’all.

Gertie
It’s very interesting, I agree. I suppose this kind of thing is suddenly “important” (it’s not really important, of course) because we live in such an atomised, celebratory-of-personal-expression-of-choice, society? Nearly everyone, even the most diehard 21st century socialist, is I think a little bit libertarian at heart!

I’m so sorry to hear about your friend. They will be in my prayers.

God bless
 
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