Women ,sex,marriage and babies

[Paul_theApostle]

And so many women also who are willing to have sex but are unwilling to be mothers by having abortions

Sex is out of control in this world

Sure,marriage ,sex and babies/children are all wonderful and blessed,but if your just not into family life,there is still sexual attraction or desire to contend with at times,and it bugs me because it can be very tempting for me,but i dont desire family life

So does God know this ,and will he help extuingish this sexual flame

 

[Dorothy]

And so many women also who are willing to have sex but are unwilling to be mothers by having abortions

Sex is out of control in this world

Sure,marriage ,sex and babies/children are all wonderful and blessed,but if your just not into family life,there is still sexual attraction or desire to contend with at times,and it bugs me because it can be very tempting for me,but i dont desire family life

So does God know this ,and will he help extuingish this sexual flame

Of course God will help you, as long as you seek His grace and cooperate with it.

 

[Pfaffenhoffen]

Keep going the other way. You are totally honest with yourself that you are not ready for marriage. Thank goodness you are not willing to use a woman for instant gratification, get her pregnant and then bring a child into a relationship with a Dad who hates being a Dad.

Keep doing what you are doing. Keep yourself under control, enjoy your life as a bachelor, travel, finish your education, get established in a career. You’ll see things differently later.

I love National Geographic for I love the discipline that is comparing animal behacior with humans and I now do not remember the nam.

so there it was this extremely beautiful bir of Papua Noew Ginuea, the male made an arena, took the leaves out and started making the most stupid dance I ever saw. Nevertheless, guess what?.. helas… it attracted the female which was much uglier than the male. But che was absolutely mesmerized by the dance. ther he went 2 steps right, one step left, and the female aproaching the arena. More soe amateur steps and the female landed in the arena, iressistibly fascinated by that stupid dance. the male did not wait one second. Jumped on top of her, impregnated her in 2 seconds and feld away as fast as he could, leaving the female puzzled and completely lost in her divorce.

I guess the male was not seen again, I guess she grew pregnant, layed the eggs alone and fed the babies till they grew up.

The male? God knows… maybe making some other arena…

That is why I love National Geographic … through animals, we learn a lot about men…

 

[Philotheatoo]

Theology of the Body is all about the positive ways marriage and children impact and fulfill our lives.

 

[Pfaffenhoffen]

I had no idea my ex-husband (who I have a child with) has an account here!

Seriously, I think the OP makes a good point. Catholicism is a rare denomination that asks for no contraception within marriage and for sex to be about procreation. What about those that absolutely do not want to be parents or would, honestly, be horrible parents? In my opinion just because you can doesn’t mean you should have children. I know a lady that’s had all 5 of her children taken from her and four the state terminated her parental rights. Granted, she wasn’t married to the fathers (and was with several men and isn’t 100% who the father is for any of them), but had she been married would she have changed?

I don’t know. Just a view from the outside.

HALT! Stop the Dance!
The Church never said this:

and for sex to be about procreation

otherwise Catholic women whose womb was remove for disease could not have sex. The quotations is what people say that the RCC say. But the RCC does not say that !!! How come the RCC dows not say that and people started saying that the RCC say it is a puzzle for me!!
The other question is tricky.
Had she married, would it be different? what if yes? God knows.
It is not you nor me who gave a sould to those kids. Their life is eternal. After 100 years of a not so good life or maybe of a life of hell, Christ waits for them for trillions of years of full happiness. Were they worth the years of trials ans tribulations here or better she had taken the pill or better she would be sterilized?

 

[Pfaffenhoffen]

I want to say that OP’s attitude is normal considering the challenges he must feel being a Catholic. I too was like him, although I wasnt thinking too much about sex as a teenager. I still saw no hope towards getting married. I am now in my 20s and this issue has not been solved. If I do date a guy I feel its a burden ahead.
In saying that, I would ask how old the OP is.

Come to me and take my cross, said Jesus, for my burden is light.
Tell you, go on artificial methods and you will have a burden too. Pill takes the desire on women and condoms are devil for men as it takes all the sensitivity and makes them not feel that they are united with a woman but with a baloon. It is like taking shower with an umbrella, they say.
I will abstaing to comment the others.
In old times it was easier (was it???), when you could have se all the time, you had 12 kids, 7 of whom would die. Well, easy???
Nowadays, when you cannot have many children, it is rather complicated
Forget theChurch: NFP is the best. It is a great pleasure when is pleasure: no abloons in-between but it is also a burden sometimes.
The problem is that God created sex not for pleasure (although there is pleasure around) but to have kids.
Without sex, all living creatures on earth, plants and animals, would die and life ojn earth would disappear.
SEX WAS CREATED TO BEAT DEATH !!!

 

[twoangels]

And so many women also who are willing to have sex but are unwilling to be mothers by having abortions

Sex is out of control in this world

Sure,marriage ,sex and babies/children are all wonderful and blessed,but if your just not into family life,there is still sexual attraction or desire to contend with at times,and it bugs me because it can be very tempting for me,but i dont desire family life

So does God know this ,and will he help extuingish this sexual flame

I would advise you pray to discern God’s will for your life. Even in marriage, sex is not always available and a woman can feel very used if sex becomes about extinguishing the flame.

Something I found helpful was to understand that our need is really our need to love and to be loved. We are called to live a life of loving service in community with others. This can be through family or it can be in other ways. If however, you are not living a life of loving community with others, you become starved of love. As such the first and most obvious expression of love comes into your head: “sex.” You may want to satisfy it through masturbation and pornography or through promiscuity, but these things have nothing to do with the real need we have to be authentic love and the need to authentically love others. As such, no matter how much you indulge in these things, you will be left wanting. Because you are left wanting, you will in turn keep obsessing about these things.

What I did while I was single is put myself out there. I started doing random acts of kindness to my friends when I was particularly feeling lonely. I volunteered in homeless ministry. I tutored children. And it wasn’t just about being busy. It wouldn’t have worked if it were merely about that. I focused on St. Therese’s little way - to do every act in love. To focus love on it even if its just peeling potatoes or something small like that. I found in giving myself to these things I found I was more satisfied in life in general and the urges did not seem overpowering.

It doesn’t matter if you are single or married. Life involves work. It involves giving of yourself in love to others. It involves dealing with headaches and annoying situations and annoying people. So yes, if you want to have sex morally, you have to serve. If you want to stop struggling with sexual temptation, you have to serve as well. You don’t get out of it by being single.

 

[Paul_theApostle]

I would advise you pray to discern God’s will for your life. Even in marriage, sex is not always available and a woman can feel very used if sex becomes about extinguishing the flame.

Something I found helpful was to understand that our need is really our need to love and to be loved. We are called to live a life of loving service in community with others. This can be through family or it can be in other ways. If however, you are not living a life of loving community with others, you become starved of love. As such the first and most obvious expression of love comes into your head: “sex.” You may want to satisfy it through masturbation and pornography or through promiscuity, but these things have nothing to do with the real need we have to be authentic love and the need to authentically love others. As such, no matter how much you indulge in these things, you will be left wanting. Because you are left wanting, you will in turn keep obsessing about these things.

What I did while I was single is put myself out there. I started doing random acts of kindness to my friends when I was particularly feeling lonely. I volunteered in homeless ministry. I tutored children. And it wasn’t just about being busy. It wouldn’t have worked if it were merely about that. I focused on St. Therese’s little way - to do every act in love. To focus love on it even if its just peeling potatoes or something small like that. I found in giving myself to these things I found I was more satisfied in life in general and the urges did not seem overpowering.

It doesn’t matter if you are single or married. Life involves work. It involves giving of yourself in love to others. It involves dealing with headaches and annoying situations and annoying people. So yes, if you want to have sex morally, you have to serve. If you want to stop struggling with sexual temptation, you have to serve as well. You don’t get out of it by being single.

Thank you for your nice post

I have been praying and asking the Lord to help me to serve God and my neighbours,so i agree with you

I am doing some things,im not just thinking about sex all day
and its good to hear about our needs to love and be loved as you mentioned

I think all these posts i wrote have been because i see my older brother growing up two young children ,one of them still a baby,

they come over and the kids yell and scream and the baby cries like hell and toys are all over the house,the daughter doesnt want to eat and my brother gets upset and in his house there are a million toys everywhere and its just too much for me sometimes

I have my own problems and dont think i would be able to have the responsibilty of growing up children and be a good loving parent,and i have not much money or a job either

But for some reason still have sexual desire
but in Gods world it seems we cant use or have sex for a good time without the purpose of marriage ,children and family,so il perhaps pray anyway like you said to descern Gods will for my life